Just when I thought all the ex-moh drama was behind me...

[PearlDahhhling]

Her mommy emailed me again today...

Now I don''t know about you guys... but if this were me, and I was having a conflict with a friend of mine, and MY mom emailed her and got involved, I would be utterly embarrassed! Some people...

Basically the email said that since A and I are friends, anyone she''s friends with I should also be friends with. And that because we''re friends, I should welcome her boyfriend with open arms and obviously he should be invited to the wedding. Apparently she''s spoken with a number of people who cannot comprehend the fact that I''m not allowing my guests to bring guests (especially ones I don''t know). Also, this whole thing is "my loss" but hopefully one day I''ll have a "revelation" and come begging for forgiveness. What do I need to be forgiven for again?

She also throws in there that a friend of A''s has a friend who is getting married, and both A and her new boyfriend are invited to the wedding. They "get it" apparently.

Seriously woman!?!

So I wrote back to her saying I wasn''t quite sure why this was still an issue for them, but that I am at peace with all of it. That I have a new bridesmaid and I am looking forward to a drama free wedding. And that I have the right to decide who attends my wedding and who doesn''t and that it''s been nice knowing their family, but there sometimes comes a point in a friendship where it''s time to end things, and this is that point.

Hopefully they''ll just leave me alone!

 

[allycat0303]

I wouldn''t have emailed back. I don''t know, it sounds as though the mom wants to engage in email drama now. They both seem a little crazy to me,

 

[PearlDahhhling]

Date: 5/18/2009 9:57:12 PM
Author: allycat0303
I wouldn''t have emailed back. I don''t know, it sounds as though the mom wants to engage in email drama now. They both seem a little crazy to me,

I know, that''s what I was thinking. But I figured either way they would want drama. So I tried to make my email sound as final as possible I guess. A big part of me wanted to just delete it, but I''m pretty sure either she or her mom would email yet again until I responded.

 

[Hudson_Hawk]

Date: 5/18/2009 9:57:12 PM
Author: allycat0303
I wouldn''t have emailed back. I don''t know, it sounds as though the mom wants to engage in email drama now. They both seem a little crazy to me,

Ditto. I know it''s hard to resist rebutting, but I wouldn''t say anything to them. They don''t deserve your attention.

 

[honey22]

Can anyone say CRAZY!!!!!! These people are just crazy. Fullstop.

 

[iheartscience]

Date: 5/18/2009 10:20:29 PM
Author: honey22
Can anyone say CRAZY!!!!!! These people are just crazy. Fullstop.

Ditto-yikes!

 

[mrscushion]

Yeah, they really are crazy. Like mother, like daughter.

 

[Blair138]

not cool? How old is this friend? 13? really, this is ridiculous! I agree that you shouldn''t have said anything, but you can''t undo it so what''s done is done. I would move on and not entertain any more of her emails. Sorry you have to go through this!

 

[PilsnPinkysMom]

Oh they should give-it-up... wowza.

 

[AmberGretchen]

Wow, the mom sounds incredibly immature and out of line - what a strange thing for her to get involved in at all

I would not respond to any future communications from her at all - it will just feed the drama fire

 

[newsboysgrl777]

Date: 5/18/2009 11:29:47 PM
Author: AmberGretchen
Wow, the mom sounds incredibly immature and out of line - what a strange thing for her to get involved in at all

I would not respond to any future communications from her at all - it will just feed the drama fire

A TEENY, tiny part of me wonders if it wasn't really the ex-MOH (aka A) who emailed from her mommy's name. I mean, WHY would the mother get involved, unless, like all other assumptions are correct - she is CRAZY!

(Like mother, like daughter...huh?

)

As for what you wrote back, I think you did well...just make it THE FINAL communication between you and them. It'll just save you much headache.


NOW, from this point...go forth and have a happy wedding!!!

 

[luckystar112]

Date: 5/18/2009 9:50:22 PM
Author:PearlDahhhling
So I wrote back to her saying I wasn''t quite sure why this was still an issue for them, but that I am at peace with all of it. That I have a new bridesmaid and I am looking forward to a drama free wedding. And that I have the right to decide who attends my wedding and who doesn''t and that it''s been nice knowing their family, but there sometimes comes a point in a friendship where it''s time to end things, and this is that point.

Hopefully they''ll just leave me alone!

This is just begging for a response though. I bet you anything she writes back!

 

[violet3]

Oh god. i would also be mortified if my mom emailed a friend of mine - yikes! ditto everyone else - let that be your last contact with these people for sure!

 

[bee*]

Date: 5/19/2009 12:53:54 AM
Author: violet3
Oh god. i would also be mortified if my mom emailed a friend of mine - yikes! ditto everyone else - let that be your last contact with these people for sure!

me too. I''d be so annoyed if my mam did that. They definitely sound crazy!

 

[SapphireLover]

I would like to see how they manage when its her wedding and they realise how expensive things are. I would like them to think that if everybody invited bought an extra guest, then it would be extra thousands of pounds/ dollars.

A wedding is about having people around that have enriched your life and added something to your special day. Its not about having random strangers sitting around. If a friend can''t accept that (although her enthusiasm as a MOH prior to all of this kicking off made me doubt if she actually was a true friend) they need to take a hike!

 

[luvthemstrawberries]

Date: 5/19/2009 3:09:11 AM
Author: SapphireLover

I would like to see how they manage when its her wedding and they realise how expensive things are. I would like them to think that if everybody invited bought an extra guest, then it would be extra thousands of pounds/ dollars.

A wedding is about having people around that have enriched your life and added something to your special day. Its not about having random strangers sitting around. If a friend can't accept that (although her enthusiasm as a MOH prior to all of this kicking off made me doubt if she actually was a true friend) they need to take a hike!

DITTO 100%. Ugh, I can't believe this - I just rolled my eyes when I saw the title of your thread.

You are totally right in what you're doing. I think it's ok you emailed her back, but I wouldn't keep appeasing her with responses if she responds to this one. You should totally do what's right for you - I'm the same way - I don't want anyone there I don't know!! And I'm even wishing I could exclude some of our FAMILY because they don't even support us!! But that = DRAMA.

Ugh.

I bet you anything the ex-MOH knows her Mom is doing this (or asked her to do it). They're just trying to get a rise out of you, trying to make you think you're making a mistake, that maybe her harsh words will help you "come around."

 

[Italiahaircolor]

A lesson I recently learned is that when someone is searching for a reaction, the best thing you can do is not give it to them. Not because you''re at a loss for words...but because sometimes it takes a bigger person to just walk away. Playing into it is showing that you still care. If you''re really over it...then you should be able to delete the e-mail message without getting that last and final dig in.

Now...on a side note...as a bride who had issues with two of her bridesmaids...

This "fight" isn''t worth it. I''m not saying that you''re not justified in the way you''re feeling--obviously you''re not crazy, and this is coming from somewhere....but in the end, when the party is over, this girl was your friend and you will miss her.

 

[tlh]

OMG, the NERVE! I probably would have written something nasty, and then hit delete. Then written something less snarky, and hit delete... then I would mark her email address as spam, to prevent any future messages from getting through or upsetting me and just not responded at all. Some people just love to create drama, and stir up trouble. I agree with Italia on that one!

Pearl, I''m sorry! HUGE HUGS! What craziness!!! I''d just mark her emails as spam and ignore them from now on. You don''t need any extra stress... even just the frustration, when you are preparing for such a happy occassion. Surround yourself with positive people, and those that are happy for you. Glad you got a new bridesmaid!!!!

 

[LadyBlue]

wow

, this is something between you and your friend, I hope they will leave you alone.

 

[dcgator]

Date: 5/18/2009 10:59:15 PM
Author: Blair138
not cool? How old is this friend? 13? really, this is ridiculous! I agree that you shouldn''t have said anything, but you can''t undo it so what''s done is done. I would move on and not entertain any more of her emails. Sorry you have to go through this!

Ditto, couldn''t have said it better myself. Enough drama!