Kelsey Smith

[phoenixgirl]

I also think it's important to teach your children what behavior is inappropriate, even in trusted adults. I think that somebody known to the child and trusted by the parents is, sadly, much more likely to harm the child than a stranger. And it's less talked about, because the parents feel guilt and the abuse isn't a one time incident.

When I was in high school, I attended the Christian youth group at my school, and my parents were glad that I was hanging out with a group of kids who didn't drink, smoke, or have sex. But then later my male leader was convicted of molesting ten teenaged boys in the group over eight years.

And he's married and the father of three.

 

[luckystar112]

I''ll let my kid have a myspace page (if they are even still popular by the time I have kids) but you bet your butt I will be on their friends list and their profile will be private. The computer will also be in the living room, where I can see.

One thing I don''t plan on doing is giving my kid a cell phone before the age of 16, unless they make some sort of phone that calls me and the police and no one else. I can''t even tell you how IRKED I get when I see the commercial where the little girl is mouthing off to her mother in text-message speak. You know the one? Where she''s like "OMG INBD!" The kid is like 11. When I was 11, which was only 13 years ago....my mom brought me everywhere and knew the first names of all my friend''s parents...and was NOT afraid to call.

As for the crime, I know that this stuff can happen anywhere, but it''s my number 1 reason for wanting to move back to Maine and raise my kids there. Crime is practically unheard of....murder, almost never. I can think of one time, and the victim wasn''t a random target. I don''t WANT to have to be that over-protective psycho mother...and although I know things have gotten progessively worse in the world since I was kid (doesn''t everyone say that?) I still think it''s way better than where I am now!

 

[Kaleigh]

Date: 6/9/2007 8:41:33 PM
Author: luckystar112
I''ll let my kid have a myspace page (if they are even still popular by the time I have kids) but you bet your butt I will be on their friends list and their profile will be private. The computer will also be in the living room, where I can see.

One thing I don''t plan on doing is giving my kid a cell phone before the age of 16, unless they make some sort of phone that calls me and the police and no one else. I can''t even tell you how IRKED I get when I see the commercial where the little girl is mouthing off to her mother in text-message speak. You know the one? Where she''s like ''OMG INBD!'' The kid is like 11. When I was 11, which was only 13 years ago....my mom brought me everywhere and knew the first names of all my friend''s parents...and was NOT afraid to call.

As for the crime, I know that this stuff can happen anywhere, but it''s my number 1 reason for wanting to move back to Maine and raise my kids there. Crime is practically unheard of....murder, almost never. I can think of one time, and the victim wasn''t a random target. I don''t WANT to have to be that over-protective psycho mother...and although I know things have gotten progessively worse in the world since I was kid (doesn''t everyone say that?) I still think it''s way better than where I am now!

IDK, my BFF Jill, yeah saw that and puked. Honestly parents need to learn how to say no and stop indulging their kids!! Too many are raising self entitled brats!!

 

[monarch64]

DH and I have been talking about these very issues since we moved into our house a few years ago. We live kitty corner from a park, and the kids who run around this neighborhood have absolutely no respect. We are constantly having to worry about vandalism and last summer I had to actually call the police a few times to get a patrol car to come around and shoo kids off our front corner sidewalk when they started congregating there and were using foul language and getting into scuffles/arguments, etc. DH travels a lot and I certainly don''t feel comfortable opening the front door and telling them to vacate...I did it once and got an earful of obscenities, and these were from teenage girls and boys. We don''t consider our neighborhood to be "bad" at all, in fact we live in a nice community with great schools and if we didn''t have to worry about kids kicking our fence to tease the dogs, or littering, or swearing at us, we would not consider moving. Ugh, we just had another experience today, three teenage guys were walking by on the opposite side of the street and one of them literally walked up the front yard and sat on their under-construction fieldstone porch addition and tried to shake it under his weight to see if it was stable. DH and I were watching them, like "who DOES that?" We gave them the evil eye but they never even noticed us. We got a good look at his face though, and will remember him the next time he comes sauntering through the neighborhood. The guy''s porch he sat on is a US Marshal and a good friend of ours who would not be so understanding, he also has a German Shepard who''s much less understanding...

You can''t lay a hand on kids these days, and honestly I think that is a problem. Of course I don''t condone actual abuse of children, but a line needs to be drawn. When I was growing up, and I''m only 30, my parents did not hesistate to put me in my place with a spanking or a smack if I really deserved it. I learned to be respectful of authority and my parents did what they did out of love and the intention to raise me to be a good human being and a positive contributor to society, which I''m proud to say I am. Ok, stepping down from the soapbox now...but this thread got me going, lol!

 

[lumpkin]

Date: 6/9/2007 10:56:37 PM
Author: monarch64
DH and I have been talking about these very issues since we moved into our house a few years ago. We live kitty corner from a park, and the kids who run around this neighborhood have absolutely no respect. We are constantly having to worry about vandalism and last summer I had to actually call the police a few times to get a patrol car to come around and shoo kids off our front corner sidewalk when they started congregating there and were using foul language and getting into scuffles/arguments, etc. DH travels a lot and I certainly don''t feel comfortable opening the front door and telling them to vacate...I did it once and got an earful of obscenities, and these were from teenage girls and boys. We don''t consider our neighborhood to be ''bad'' at all, in fact we live in a nice community with great schools and if we didn''t have to worry about kids kicking our fence to tease the dogs, or littering, or swearing at us, we would not consider moving. Ugh, we just had another experience today, three teenage guys were walking by on the opposite side of the street and one of them literally walked up the front yard and sat on their under-construction fieldstone porch addition and tried to shake it under his weight to see if it was stable. DH and I were watching them, like ''who DOES that?'' We gave them the evil eye but they never even noticed us. We got a good look at his face though, and will remember him the next time he comes sauntering through the neighborhood. The guy''s porch he sat on is a US Marshal and a good friend of ours who would not be so understanding, he also has a German Shepard who''s much less understanding...

You can''t lay a hand on kids these days, and honestly I think that is a problem. Of course I don''t condone actual abuse of children, but a line needs to be drawn. When I was growing up, and I''m only 30, my parents did not hesistate to put me in my place with a spanking or a smack if I really deserved it. I learned to be respectful of authority and my parents did what they did out of love and the intention to raise me to be a good human being and a positive contributor to society, which I''m proud to say I am. Ok, stepping down from the soapbox now...but this thread got me going, lol!

That is really true. I used to be concerned that I''d get reported if I spanked my kids in front of anyone else, but honestly, I think kids need to know that you are capable of doing it, and WILL, if they cross a certain line. I got tested when my younger one was about 3. We were in line at the check out and he wanted some candy. I said no about 5 times and he started kicking and hitting me. I was horribly embarrassed, but fortunately, those around me were very sympathetic, and at the same time trying not to laugh because it WAS funny to see this little kid try to beat up his much bigger mother. I told him three times to stop or I would spank him right there in front of everyone. He kept doing it, so finally I gave him a firm smack on the butt. He immediately stopped, was humiliated, and cried. I looked at the cashier and said, "I''m so sorry you had to see that." She said she wished other parents would enforce limits with their kids. People should not be afraid to discipline their children. Kids need to know what the boundaries are. They are going to test to see just how firm a boundary is, because as we all know as adults, some are negotiable and some are not. It''s up to us parents to clearly indicate which boundaries are non-negotiable. As hard as it was to spank him in public, he needed to know that I would do it if he pushed past that line.

Also, when both parents are working they don''t want to be the hard a$$ when they get home. They get so little time with their kids they don''t want to spend it coming down on them, which I can relate to. I''m the enforcer in my house. My kids KNOW they can push their dad around because he doesn''t get to see them as much and he''s not as wise to their tactics, and also that he wants his time with them to be enjoyable. Me, I''ve had ''em all day. Don''t mess with the mom! LOL. I''m very grateful that we have that option. Lots of parents don''t, and it''s very taxing to work all day and come home and work all night with your kids. (I''ve done that, too.)

The OTHER thing that sets me off is the violent movies. All the SAW, Hostel, and other horror movies. For goodness sake, why would ANYONE think that''s entertaining???? You cannot tell me that doesn''t have a huge impact on kids. Also the violent video games. But for heaven''s sake, don''t let them see anyone''s boob. It''s obscene to breastfeed in public. Don''t talk about AIDS in school because they might get some facts about sex. GEESH! We have a seriously twisted sense of decency, sometimes I think.

SanDiego Lady, I''ve been meaning to comment on the police department funding. I can believe what you are saying about the technology, too. We''ve been researching camcorders and the variety of formats and media currently, let alone what was available 2 years ago, is quite diverse. Technology is evolving very quickly. I would think though, that a standard could be made for surveilance and law enforcement. That needs to be seriously looked into. And I would happily pay extra taxes for that end. Although, I know in some areas people would not. In a town I lived in before, the fire engines were falling apart and people did not want the taxes raised to pay for new fire equipment. Some people are really ignorant, and some just plain stupid. Penny wise and pound foolish.

Enough rant for a Sunday morning.

 

[oshinbreez]

Date: 6/9/2007 8:41:33 PM
Author: luckystar112

One thing I don''t plan on doing is giving my kid a cell phone before the age of 16, unless they make some sort of phone that calls me and the police and no one else. I can''t even tell you how IRKED I get when I see the commercial where the little girl is mouthing off to her mother in text-message speak. You know the one? Where she''s like ''OMG INBD!'' The kid is like 11. When I was 11, which was only 13 years ago....my mom brought me everywhere and knew the first names of all my friend''s parents...and was NOT afraid to call.

They DO have cell phones for kids. There are 3-5 numbers that you can program into the phone along with the police. There is no dial pad, so they can''t call anyone except who is programed into the phone.
This is just one of them.

 

[oshinbreez]

Date: 6/9/2007 10:56:37 PM
Author: monarch64

You can''t lay a hand on kids these days, and honestly I think that is a problem. Of course I don''t condone actual abuse of children, but a line needs to be drawn. When I was growing up, and I''m only 30, my parents did not hesistate to put me in my place with a spanking or a smack if I really deserved it. I learned to be respectful of authority and my parents did what they did out of love and the intention to raise me to be a good human being and a positive contributor to society, which I''m proud to say I am. Ok, stepping down from the soapbox now...but this thread got me going, lol!

About 7 years ago, when I lived in Jax, my at the time bf had a 6 yr old. She was outside playing in the fenced yard, and I was inside checking on her every few minutes. I looked out once and didn''t see her. I ran outside and called her. She came from a vacant lot across the street with some other kids. I was so upset, she knew she wasn''t allowed out of the yard, and I gave her a good spanking outside. Well, the next day, childrens services showed up at the door. I let them talk to her alone, and saw her make the gesture of spanking on the rear end. When they were done questioning her, they came and told me it was clear that the child wasn''t abused, and that it is OK to SPANK a child.

 

[lumpkin]

Date: 6/10/2007 11:57:25 AM
Author: oshinbreez


About 7 years ago, when I lived in Jax, my at the time bf had a 6 yr old. She was outside playing in the fenced yard, and I was inside checking on her every few minutes. I looked out once and didn''t see her. I ran outside and called her. She came from a vacant lot across the street with some other kids. I was so upset, she knew she wasn''t allowed out of the yard, and I gave her a good spanking outside. Well, the next day, childrens services showed up at the door. I let them talk to her alone, and saw her make the gesture of spanking on the rear end. When they were done questioning her, they came and told me it was clear that the child wasn''t abused, and that it is OK to SPANK a child.

The fact that children''s services showed up at your door, though, shows just how scrutinized parents are these days. I would have handled it the exact same way you did, but I would have been angry. The time has come when parents and children are made adversaries because parents are expected to be responsible for their children (as they should be), but when they discipline their kids, they run the risk of being called under fire. The kids see this and pick up on it. They get the impression their parents are powerless to control them. I don''t think it''s ALWAYS this way, but I think it happens a lot. I had my kids both tell me they were told at school that parents aren''t supposed to hit them. Well, spanking is not hitting, in my book. A belt is different than an open hand, and a smack in the face is different than a smack on the butt.

In my own neighborhood there is such dissention about this. We have people who are saying, "Control your kids, for goodness sake!" and then we have others who think, "Kids will be kids." There''s a common sense middle ground I wish more people would take. You don''t have to BEAT your kids, but for goodness sake, they need to know their parents are in charge.

 

[monarch64]

With my parents, spanking was necessary maybe a handful of times, mainly because it was reserved for situations where I had really done something wrong and knew better and talked back to them about it. When I got a spanking, I was so humiliated, and I "got it," because it wasn''t some everyday occurence.

I remember kids getting sent to the principal''s office when I was in grade school for third offenses, and their punishment was paddling. I got spanked by my kindergarten teacher for chewing gum in class and then trying to hide it when she asked me if I was chewing gum. She took me outside the classroom and gave me a firm, open-handed smack on the behind...I was SO embarrassed about the whole thing, in fact, I didn''t tell my mother about it until I was in 4th grade. I figured I''d already taken my punishment and I didn''t need to get in trouble at home, besides.