Ladies-In-Waiting Part III

[icekid]

congrats kasih- beautiful ring!!

My comments on dropping weight: water is always good! Also, like Erin mentioned, you don’t need to COMPLETELY eliminate carbs, but cutting back does help! Carbs make your body store more water, and who wants that?

Oh Ally! Honestly… this stuff is hard! That damn life thing, ya know. I didn’t know you were a figure skater- I was too… and yeah, who wouldn’t feel pressure to stay thin running around the rink all day in little skirts! I’ve often dealt with body image problems, and they really can put a strain on a relationships. If your sister is concerned, maybe it’s time to really start thinking about getting counseling.

And I wouldn’t write your bf off quite yet either. It does seem that you have some other things to deal with. But you need to be good with YOU first before you can REALLY think about someone else in your life long term. I really do wish you the best hun… I know many of us can relate! I think you really need some YOU time, and I think your bf will understand that and give you the time you need to sort things out. I do think a counselor might be very helpful, for just you and maybe for you and the bf together as well! Good luck, and know that we are here for you!


and finally i am going to post some pictures of my christmas present! this is my first time, so i hope it works... and here is what i wrote about it in the last thread for anyone who missed it... :

as for me, i knew i wasn''t getting my e-ring just yet... we''re still saving money for that baby. but what i DID get, is something that is even more special to me than my e-ring, believe it or not! and it sure is sparkly and beautiful too!
my bf was really close with his grandmother growing up, and she died about 7 years ago. and his grandfather always used to call his gram "my number 1"... and my boy calls me that all of the time, only i never really knew why. so, i guess ~50 years ago, his grandfather designed a necklace at tiffany''s (yay!) for her, and she left it to my bf when she died (to give to whomever he married). and he gave it to me for christmas!!! it''s almost like a promise pendant! it''s 10 diamonds, set into glass that form a " 1 ." the diamonds look to be "floating" in the glass, and it is outlined in gold. it''s sooo pretty and sweet! i cannot imagine anything more special or sweet. i was just completely floored, and it was definitely the talk of my family all day! and it has kind of made me realize too that there''s no real rush to get the e-ring. i''m HAPPY as can be right now, and why would i want to wish this time away? i''m happy and in love, at the very beginning of a career that i know i will love forever.... i have no room to complain! (minus that large amount of studying med school requires hehehe)... but i don''t think i will ever receive another gift that will top this one (other than our future children!)

 

[icekid]

i hope that worked?!?! let me know if it did not...

 

[AMALEEKEL]

HI EVERYONE! It''s been forever since I posted last, but don''t drop me off the list please!


OOhh I love that story icekid! The pic however didn''t work!

can''t wait to see it!

I realize my post is out of no where, but I have been way too busy this last week. Back to work...i am a news producer so we''ve all been filling in on other shifts while the others take their vacations...so I have had NO spare time at the computer.
Congrats to all the newly engaged....I feel like I''m getting further away from it.
We were talking more about it around Christmas time, but it''s waned off now...

I''m not losing hope though---We "scheduled" a time to go look more on Wednesday...

Night!

 

[MelissaSue]

Hey girls - Just wanted to check in with everyone.. only ONE NYE proposal??? thats dissappointing. We really SHOULD be on Oprah though.. Although.. some people don''t like girls like us who know our ring is coming "soon". So.. maybe not!

Hey.. we found my grandmas dress the other day.. Its definitely NOT wearable. Its actually two pieces - a satin sheath and the lace overlay is a separate piece.. and actually the SLEEVES are separate pieces too, like gloves but with no hands. However.. its so so so so so yellow.. (it is like 70 years old). And the train was CUT off of it.. so its just separate too. Maybe they did that instead of bustling it?? The lace is so old and worn that I don''t even want to try it on as i might rip it. It has individual buttons down the back too, so it would take a LONG time.. Its really cool to see it though!!!

Her headpiece was UGGGGLY.. it was like an elastic headband that she wore on her forehead (under her poofy bangs!!). it had this tulle thingy attached to the back of it.. like a big poof.. and then her veil was detachable.. which was like.. a big deal for back then. I''ll have to get some pics.. Her dress was actually not so bad.. It was just your average poofy lacy ballgown, but with off the shoulder (short) sleeves. she was psycho about details though.. Our BM dresses were off the shoulder almost the same as her gown.. they were ankle length and I remember she made us all buy the same exact SHOES AND STOCKINGS (black shoes and OFF BLACK stockings). AND her FLOWERGIRLS (two of them) had off the shoulder dresses and they also had the same tights and shoes (As each other, not the BMs). I hope I don''t turn nutso like her. .

Melissa

 

[SJS1234]

Date: 1/3/2005 11

3:28 PM
Author: icekid

i hope that worked?!?! let me know if it did not...

Icekid: I can''t see it!!!!! Can anyone else, or is it just me?? I''ve been dying to see it since you first posted the story!!

Alley: girl, you definitely have a lot to work through. whew. but it''s ok -- we''ve all been there in one way or another. I gotta tell you, the issues you have with yourself and with your weight is VERY likely causing major problems in your relationship. I spent several years (still working on it) in and out of these "ruts" -- I wouldn''t have to gain more than a couple of pounds -- and I would just lose it -- couldn''t (not wouldn''t, but really mentally COULDN''T) leave the house. Going to the grocery store was an enormous ordeal for me. I hated the way my clothes felt and the way I looked -- it was a nightmare, and to tell you the truth I think it was quite possibly one of the biggest factors leading up to reasons for my divorce. I was just SO angry -- and it came out at him, even though he always loved me and the way I looked. I didn''t want him to touch me or look at me even -- years of that, well, it''s not much of a marriage. I did finally seek counseling and it definitely helped. I strongly strongly urge that you go too, if you haven''t already. Maybe the two of you can even go together -- it can be a life saver! and there is absolutely nothing wrong with seeing a therapist -- in fact, by the time your my age (31), most of the people you know will have been to plenty themselves! It''s the world we live in -- there are so many expectations....... From what you said....I will definitely say one thing....your bf is just dying for some kind of an explanation.....just something to tell him that you are thinking about him, and are working through your feelings.....could you write him a letter, if it''s too hard to talk to him face to face? Might be a good idea -- sounds like he''s really hurting too......

OH, and the Birks Caresse is EXACTLY like a ring I saw at Mayors in Atlanta (i think it might even be called the Mayors Caresse) -- but it was much less expensive -- the .5 ct. was 6250 I believe, and the 1.0 ct was 12k (I think)....a little better!!!! It''s one of my favorite settings, and I was hoping to get my cushion set into it.....but I can''t get a straight answer on whether or not they will take an outside stone.... hmmm.

 

[appletini]

Ama: don''t feel like its getting farther away...its so exciting that you are looking at e-rings tomorrow. After we went and he saw what he/we really liked he has mentioned stuff about the ring and moving forward with our future everyday. Once you look and find what you want then he will be super excited about making it happen. Be sure to let us know how it goes.

 

[AMALEEKEL]

Thanks for the kind words appletini!
I''ll let yall know how tomorrow goes!
In the meantime, I do try to keep up with all the posts!
Later!

 

[goldengirl]

Ama, I wish I lived in a cultural center where I could pop down to the diamond district and take a looksee... I think the closest non-chain jeweler to me is half an hour away!... and thus, I have never gone ring shopping with my fh, because I went alone first to scope it out and didn''t see anything so fabulous I had to bring him back with me.

He did go with me one time, when we were arguing about diamond size (my idea of minimum size being much, MUCH smaller than his) and I dragged him in to see what each ct weight actually looked like on my hand. (He changed his mind, haha.)

 

[icekid]

OOhh I love that story icekid! The pic however didn''t work!

can''t wait to see it!

crap, sorry guys! i emailed the pictures to GG, so hopefully she will be able to post them soon!

 

[goldengirl]

Ok guys! Here''s icekid''s necklace--very nice, I think it''s a great size for a pendant, too! ...and seriously, the story behind it is the CUTEST thing ever!!

 

[goldengirl]

...and the requisite neck shot!

 

[icekid]

thanks for posting them for me GG! as usual, the pictures don''t do it justice, but you get the idea..

 

[dobie]

Date: 1/4/2005 9:25:38 AM
Author: SJS1234

Date: 1/3/2005 11

3:28 PM
Author: icekid

i hope that worked?!?! let me know if it did not...

Icekid: I can''t see it!!!!! Can anyone else, or is it just me?? I''ve been dying to see it since you first posted the story!!

Alley: girl, you definitely have a lot to work through. whew. but it''s ok -- we''ve all been there in one way or another. I gotta tell you, the issues you have with yourself and with your weight is VERY likely causing major problems in your relationship. I spent several years (still working on it) in and out of these ''ruts'' -- I wouldn''t have to gain more than a couple of pounds -- and I would just lose it -- couldn''t (not wouldn''t, but really mentally COULDN''T) leave the house. Going to the grocery store was an enormous ordeal for me. I hated the way my clothes felt and the way I looked -- it was a nightmare, and to tell you the truth I think it was quite possibly one of the biggest factors leading up to reasons for my divorce. I was just SO angry -- and it came out at him, even though he always loved me and the way I looked. I didn''t want him to touch me or look at me even -- years of that, well, it''s not much of a marriage. I did finally seek counseling and it definitely helped. I strongly strongly urge that you go too, if you haven''t already. Maybe the two of you can even go together -- it can be a life saver! and there is absolutely nothing wrong with seeing a therapist -- in fact, by the time your my age (31), most of the people you know will have been to plenty themselves! It''s the world we live in -- there are so many expectations....... From what you said....I will definitely say one thing....your bf is just dying for some kind of an explanation.....just something to tell him that you are thinking about him, and are working through your feelings.....could you write him a letter, if it''s too hard to talk to him face to face? Might be a good idea -- sounds like he''s really hurting too......

OH, and the Birks Caresse is EXACTLY like a ring I saw at Mayors in Atlanta (i think it might even be called the Mayors Caresse) -- but it was much less expensive -- the .5 ct. was 6250 I believe, and the 1.0 ct was 12k (I think)....a little better!!!! It''s one of my favorite settings, and I was hoping to get my cushion set into it.....but I can''t get a straight answer on whether or not they will take an outside stone.... hmmm.

Majors is the US version of Birks. I suspect Birks owns Majors. Their 2 websites look almost the same.

 

[goldengirl]

OMG THAT IS THE CUTEST LITTLE DOBIE PUPPY EVER!!!!!

 

[teebee]

Oh, Icekid ~ that necklace is so precious, and the sentiment behind it is even more beautiful. I''m such a sucker for things like that especially because I''m so close to my grandparents, what a wonderful gift!! Okay, I''m tearing up...

Well, my boy and I went to Sam''s last night and for my birthday he bought me: a paperback book, Diet Dr. Pepper, some lotion, a big canister of Chai tea mix, and Jamaican Jerk shrimp mix... oh, and a hot dog...

Okay, so I''m really just kidding, sorta...

Actually, for Christmas I asked him not to get me anything because all I really wanted was a ring and since money is the issue then I''d rather have him save money for the ring rather than get a present that I don''t necessarily want or need near as much as a ring. (does that make sense???)

And, since my birthday is just 10 days after Christmas, we''re back in the same situation, so I told him I wanted the same thing for my birthday as I did for Christmas.

Is that totally bratty??? Anyhow, there were things I needed at Sam''s so we were laughing that I could tell all my friends that I got lotion, soda, and shrimp for my birthday.

I am currently waiting for a quote from Whiteflash but I''m getting tempted to call ~ I''m so impatient!!!

 

[rfath]

icekid - that''s just SO special and beautiful!

I can''t believe I''ve really got to work this week... I''m banging my head against the wall trying to transform some DNA. Naughty micro-organisms!

Ally... I offer you any hugs you need! I know it''s hard, but maybe try to write to your boyfriend what you''re sharing here about what you''re thinking and feeling and why you''ve made your decisions... I think it would help to explain things. He''s probably feeling pretty lost and confused too. When I came out here to Massachusetts, I ran away from home. My parents were suffocating me, I had some real personal issues - depression, weight, panic attacks, you name it

. My boyfriend was the only support that I had, since my family was SO furious at me for leaving. Sometimes it''s nice to have someone around who understands that you''re having problems and isn''t afraid to shake you and tell you that you''re being impossible, or to just give you a hug in understanding. Contrary to appearances, boy-creatures are capable of understanding quite a lot! PM me if there''s ever anything I can offer you.... *hugs*

 

[SJS1234]

Icekid -- that pendant is PRECIOUS!!!!! I know you are so proud to be the new owner!!!!!! your bf is so sweet!

 

[appletini]

icekid: I love the pendant...it looks great on you!!!

teebee: we kind of have opposite birthdays....I''m 10 days before Christmas. Happy Birthday! I hope he gives you your real present "soon".

 

[blueroses]

Hi girls,

Alley, I feel for you honey. you are not alone--this is something really common, even if you feel like you are in your own private prison. Working with a therapist and a nutritionist ended up being a lifesaver for one of my best friends. She still has a phone appt. with her nutritionist (who''s more like a counselor) once a month since she''s been in recovery from this for over 10 years. Control comes out in other ways--she is a compulsive gym-goer and an incredibly disciplined and succesful attorney, but as far as food and her body, she has learned to work through a lot and we go to restaurants a LOT. This is a HUGE hurdle for you to be dealing with in the midst of bf, med school, family, and I think the others are right that the lens through which you see your relationship with yoru bf is totally colored by your eating/body issues. It sounds like he wants to be there for you but just doesn''t know how. BIG BIG HUGS!!!!!!!!!! Keep leaning on your sister, and I would really recommend looking into some couseling or therapy. I''m 30 and an actor, so I think therapy is GREAT and that everyone can use it!!!

It''s funny, but as soon as you started mentioning your own "issues," I wondered if it was something like this: this is so common with driven, successful young women like you, whether it''s on the rink or in the classroom. You are a bright, accomplished, beautiful woman, and you are going to be ok--it will just take a little work. Take some time to be with yourself, and maybe it will become clear where your bf fits in....and maybe he can learn how to properly be there for you too. ((HUGS))

(And this is a long time in the future, but I hope someday that scale can get tossed in the goodwill box!! Those numbers are evil and not representative of the truth! It took me a long time, but I no longer own a scale and now go by the way my clothes fit.)


In other news, my bf and I took a mini road trip to see the Daniel K collection yesterday, since we''d never seen them in person. Stunning. Gorgeous. Esp. liked the boxter (quelle surprise!

) and the rosebud. The thing was, though, that as much as this should be obvious, you FORGET the difference when you''re used to seeing rings blown up MASSIVE on a computer screen. So even these huge honking rocks with obscene price-tags and 2 carat center stones seemed so delicate and dainty!! I loved his stuff. But it was also a relief b/c nothing leapt out at me and screamed MINE!! Meaning, yes, I''d love one of those settings. I''d also take something like the ritani endless love or the tiffany legacy (or that new one Alley posted.).....but for all the looking, what I still have are parameters and tastes--not ONE SETTING (yet) that just has to be mine or I''ll die. I don''t know. I would take a Daniel K ring in a heartbeat--I think it''s my fave that I''ve seen. BUT.....I''m still open, within those set styles. Does that make sense? Plus, seeing price-tags like this just reinforced the custom/internet vendor argument. AND....this is the newest information: BF''s mom informed him last week that he should he need it, there are some family diamonds in the safety deposit box at the bank.

So obviously, something like that is ALWAYS going to be a first choice for both of us since we''re both sentimental with things like that--and that way we just spend $$ on the setting of our dreams? Of course, I have had the misfortune of falling in love with asscher, and I think the chances are probably that there isn''t one of those tucked away

....but I love old cuts in general, and IF these are like, grandmother''s and great-grandmother''s diamonds, then it''s a big mystery! OMC? OEC? Rose? Asscher? RB? So now we''re both intrigued to see what the heck is hidden away in there, but of course this is typical LAME boy time b/c this is something that could have occured to him to mention MUCH earlier in the game. So in some ways, perhaps back to square one? Or see what we have and then think about a Leon-type thing?

Plus, we had a LONG talk about whenwhENWHEN. I''ve gotten so swept up in all the sparkly PS stuff that he''s almost become secondary sometimes--anyone feel that way? And I''m like AMA, I feel like we''ve moved backwards too--even in the face of shopping yesterday--b/c I feel like it''s ALL coming from me.

Blah.

GG, I love that line--that would be an honest (-and effective) slogan!!!

 

[blueroses]

p.s......ICEKID!!!! It''s beautiful! Looks perfect on you--you were meant to be the next #1

SO sweet.

 

[Croí]

First - I need to agree with everyone. Icekid that necklace is just precious and so pretty ! congrats !! lovelylovely


Blue and who-ever-else feels they are going ''backwards'' ..........

okay, so I have been choking back a serious panic for the past hour or so. I was in our work kitchen (where you can make tea etc.) and was idly looking at the wall calendar while waiting for the kettle to boil when I realised that if things do go ahead for May 1st, we''ll be flying home to Ireland, TO GET MARRIED (ohmigod ) just sixteen weeks from today - What ???? That can''t be right, there has to be more time .....

he still hasn''t asked me so I still haven''t run any of my plans by my Mom or sisters and I really started to feel pressured today that if he doesn''t do the asking REALLYREALLYSOON (and not "boysoon"

) I''m not going to be able to pull it all together in time. Sixteen weeks is nothing really.
I promised I wouldn''t bring it up anymore because I know it''s spoiling it for him because he has his plan in mind and he''s been so good about letting me run with mine; but I''m not sure he realises the logistics of pulling this off. No matter how small or personal we try to make it, it''s still going to take a LOT of work and planning (and budgeting and the whole lot) and the last thing I want is to lose my enthusiasm and hyper-happiness due to stress.

Now, I know this is my own fault. I know I got all caught up and picked a date and ran with it and the whole thing - but he didn''t object and he didn''t say ''no, wait'' or anything like that.
In fact, over the weekend, we had some great discussions about the ''being married'' stuff, and we''re both so happy and ready for this - I''d just like to be able to enjoy the organising and not get in a fluster.

I know I''m going home on the 20th and am REALLY hoping he''ll ask before then ....... but now I''m not sure I can last without exploding and losing it and saying "god man, you have to ask me !"

Suggestions and/or breathing techniques please !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[njc]

Teebee - Thats not bratty at all... i call it smart!!! I do that all the time with various things. I needed a new computer one year (right after graduation and i still didnt have a "real" job) so i asked my parents to buy it for me for bday and Christmas. And as far as the ring and bday and Christmas this year... I got my ring and he got a big screen. Both were b-day/Christmas/engagement presents for us. Although we did have small little presents to open on the occasions, we agreed to keep it under $50 total.

Hell, i moved in with my then boyfriend to save him rent money so he could put that towards paying off his credit card so he could get the ring sooner. Now my half of the rent pays for the ring!

I think one of the funnier things about this present combination is everyone keeps asking me what my fiance got me... HELLO, we got engaged 2 weeks before Christmas.... A RING!

Icekid - I love the pendant! So very special.

 

[appletini]

Croi: hopefully he will surprise you super soon, it would be great for him to do it before you go home in a few weeks so that you can show the family and do the official planning.

Blueroses: that would be so cool if you used an heirloom diamond. My grandfather has the random heirloom pieces of jewelry(some of them are several hundred years old), I''m thinking about mentioning the ring shopping to him to see what he has to say. My step grandmother has a gigantic e-ring the center stone is at least 3 carats...would be nice if he had some extras like that.

 

[kanne]

Icekid... I love your story and pendant.

I''ll bet you smile each time you put it on!

Blue -That is so exciting re: mystery diamonds in the vault. Maybe you''ll discover a great old mine cut, or a cushion. How FUN! I know you love asschers (maybe that''s what you''ll find) but you can always get your asscher fix down the line... Oh hey, I JUST HAPPEN to have a picture of some fab asscher earrings. How did that happen? Could it be that I''m obsessively researching this particular cut? lol. Thoses are from the vividcollection.com. Absolutely perfect in my eyes.

I have not tried on any Daniel K''s because I''m afraid of falling in love. They are pricey but gorgeous. I also love most of what he designs. That Rosebud setting is fabulous.

2.5 weeks until our e-ring is finished. I''m barely holding on!!! My BF promised not to make me wait long for the "surprise".
ok now I really need to calm down.

-lovey

 

[Erin]

Croi

I''m right with you! We have told everyone to skip their holiday travel plans for coming here so that they can make the trip later in the year for our wedding. So everyone under the sun has known since summer 04 there will be a wedding to attend this year - February? November? who knows! We''ll be able to make that announcement after he freaking proposes to me!

I also have tried subtley reminding him that you can''t plan a wedding (as simple as you make it) in one month. People have to schedule airfare in advance and who knows what reception areas are still open in Chicago. He just gives me that look like, Woman, do you think I''m deaf to your last 8 reminders? and yet time just keeps slipping by.

We bought the ring that I picked out last April because it was gorgeous and it was a deal and he''s still sitting on it. It finally comes out NYDay that he feels like he was robbed of the joy of picking out what he thought I would like. Even if it was corny or gaudy it still had the sincere representation of what he wanted to see me wear and thought it would have as much personality as the man who gave it to me. I told him I simply thought I was doing us a favor but now I feel bad. Then I became a little bitter thinking that I still don''t have it as punishment. It''s become a twisted situation and not at all like it was supposed to have been. Just wanted to share this story for those of you who think pushing things along (although I agree boys need a kick in the shorts at times) will speed up the process - don''t do it to satisfy your own wantings without considering his.

 

[kanne]

ooops! the pic didn''t post. I''ll try again. My dream earrings....

 

[Croí]

Erin
boy, do I ever hear you but I''d be NUTS if I''d waited as long as you have. we only started looking at rings in October but I just want to MARRY HIM so badly that when I found all the "perfect" things about May 1st, I just couldn''t hold back. My best friend here (and her hubby) have already booked their flights !

mind you, she would be making at least one trip home to see family anyway so all is not lost if things don''t work out but that is not the point. I just want this sooo badly that I can taste it !

you know what I feel like ??
you know when Wily Coyote gets all excited over Roadrunner and tears off the edge of a cliff and then hangs there, suspended, for agonizing seconds ?? THAT is where I am at today ! and I hope to goodness I''m not going to go crashing down into a big splat with *kaboom* written over my head !

I do feel badly for my honey though. I know he is nervous of all my family (extended, he''s met the immediate and they all love him to bits) and what they''ll think of my marrying this ''older Yank'' but the truth is my family (barring two uncles-by-marriage that can be jerks) are fantastic and their priority will be seeing if I''m happy or not and boy-oh-boy am I happy. *TIGGERBOUNCE*
I am inclined to say ''oh, come on'' when it comes to this issue but I know, for him, it''s a genuine hurdle and I''m wishing I could find a way to put him more at ease (my genius suggestion was to treat the whole thing with "Band-Aid Wisdom" and get it overwith quick - propose any day and marry me within say, um, let''s see, how does sixteen weeks sound ?? !!!!

I am soooo happy and excited but I really have my heart set on May 1st and all I need in one teensy, weensy question (and it''s easy since I already know the answer !!

) and I can start to REALLY get excited and start pulling all the threads together to weave our day.

anyone know any good voodoo ????

 

[goldengirl]

Something fishy''s going on here, ladies.

I came home from work early cuz I had nothing to do and, surprised, he told me I would have to leave for about an hour so he could get some "stuff" done. (It''s his day off.) So I went away (to the library to read wedding planning books, haha!) and about 1.5 hrs later he texted me to let me know it was safe to come home. So I come home and, teasing him, said I thought he''d forgotten about me... to which he replies "Well, it''s not like I''m just kicking you out cuz I don''t want you here, I''m doing it for you because I want to make you happy!"

Mmmmm hmmmm......

And then he has "a couple errands" to run and he''ll be back in about an hour. So he''s gone now and I''m left wondering...what''s he up to??? SNEAKY SNEAKY!!

 

[goldengirl]

Oh yes, AND before he left I was bringing him in a snack and I heard him talking on the phone; he said "No, I haven''t done it yet, I''d have called you" and then when I walked in he said "I expect I''ll do it soon, I''m just waiting on the funds" ...and I believe it was a distinct possibility he was talking to his mom... either that or he was talking to his car buddy about replacing his clutch, but I prefer to believe the former!!

 

[goldengirl]

holy carp, lovey, those aren''t seriously giant asschers hanging from those earrings???