Ladies, is seeing another woman wearing what you're wearing a bad thing today?

[kenny]

Thanks all for posting your personal experience.
But my question was ... why do/have ANY women care(d) about this?
Few have attempted to just answer the question.
The posts almost suggest this issue was not real, rather imagined up.

Please explain what you see as the reason for this unreasonable and unrelated attitude since only a handful of women can commission one-off haute couture from exclusive designers.
99.99999% wear off the rack mass-produced clothing.

The upset reaction is only reasonable for the 0.001% of multi-millionaire women wearing truly unique one of a kind garments.

I Love Lucy wouldn't have made a skit about it if it wasn't common.

 

[Gabbycat]

So, I think the point of the responses is that most of us don't care because, like you said, we realize that we all buy our clothes at the same places.

There is a tabloid magazine that regularly has a section "Who Wore it Better" that compares celebrities caught wearing the same dress or outfit. In that instance it is an attempt to compare who is more attractive, and they have the general public vote on this and publish the results. I would imagine that some actresses, then, would really care because it pertains to their public image, and they make their living off being the most attractive or unique.

The sad fact is that there is a long history of society trying to pit women against each other, and unfortunately some women buy into and feed that competition.

So, to directly answer your question, yes there will always be some very shallow women who care because they are afraid of losing at an imaginary and meaningless competition. But MOST of us don't care.

 

[kenny]

Thanks Gabbycat for offering some answers.

 

[nala]

To avoid comparisons! “Who wore it better?” Was a
Popular article in some magazine once upon a time.

 

[AGBF]

The sad fact is that there is a long history of society trying to pit women against each other, and unfortunately some women buy into and feed that competition.

@Gabbycat hit the nail on the head, @kenny. The Lucy and Ethel skit was 1950's society playing out in a fantasy the supposed shallow rivalry that existed between women that would have us ripping each other's clothing to shreds in order to be the more attractive woman. In order to get the attention of men, of course. (Only back then it would be the "girls" tearing each others' clothes to attract the "men".) I don't know whether women of different eras actually cared about wearing the same dresses as other women to parties or if they have only been portrayed as caring in the movies. I do know that I don't care and I believe that what you have been hearing in this thread is a lot of other women saying that they don't care.

 

[AGBF]

I have one more thought to add.

@kenny wrote:

"I Love Lucy wouldn't have made a skit about it if it wasn't common"

I am not sure that this is so.1950's television shows portrayed men and women in ways that were considered to be acceptable in the 1950's. This often bore little resemblance to reality. For example, Ricky (Lucy's husband on the show), used to take her over his knee and spank her.



.

 

[kenny]

@Gabbycat hit the nail on the head, @kenny. The Lucy and Ethel skit was 1950's society playing out in a fantasy the supposed shallow rivalry that existed between women that would have us ripping each other's clothing to shreds in order to be the more attractive woman. In order to get the attention of men, of course. (Only back then it would be the "girls" tearing each others' clothes to attract the "men".) I don't know whether women of different eras actually cared about wearing the same dresses as other women to parties or if they have only been portrayed as caring in the movies. I do know that I don't care and I believe that what you have been hearing in this thread is a lot of other women saying that they don't care.

Thanks Deb. ..... Women wanting to be the more attractive woman makes sense.
Obviously men want that too, but do other dubious things than ripping the flowers from other identical dresses.
IOW, I am not picking on women.

I suspect what's behind this curtain is Market Street ... clients that place ads to sell their stuff.
Manufacturers of the massively-lucrative female beauty industry have to fan fears and insecurity to hawk their products.
Invent a problem, then sell the solution ... which is what all religions do.
Isn't fear the most powerful human emotion?

Manipulating women (and men) into wanting what's different (ostensibly making them look special) means wanting what's neeeeew.
IOW throw away last years fashions to buy this year's.

IMO capitalism is the best system (rather the least-bad) but I see this ugly crap as capitalism's dark side.

 

[AllAboardTheBlingTrain]

Thanks all for posting your personal experience.
But my question was ... why do/have ANY women care(d) about this?
Few have attempted to just answer the question.
The posts almost suggest this issue was not real, rather imagined up.

Please explain what you see as the reason for this unreasonable and unrelated attitude since only a handful of women can commission one-off haute couture from exclusive designers.
99.99999% wear off the rack mass-produced clothing.

The upset reaction is only reasonable for the 0.001% of multi-millionaire women wearing truly unique one of a kind garments.

I Love Lucy wouldn't have made a skit about it if it wasn't common.

I’ll attempt to answer this question differently to how the others have, because I do think that it’s possible for this kind of attitude to exist and not be about men. I really don’t think it’s common, though.

Firstly, I think one of the reasons it can annoy some women is that clothing is an expression of individuality, the way that jewelry, bags, shoes etc also are. So perhaps they feel like that individuality is being challenged. It may not be entirely reasonable, because as you said, people are all buying clothes that are mass manufactured for the most part, but there are a lot of stores out there, so the coincidence can sometimes be startling. I think this attitude probably pertains to more out of the box / different clothing than standard jeans/pants and tshirt/shirt combo.

Secondly, it could be mild embarrassment if you’re in a group of friends for example, because friends tease each other (in good fun), but no one likes to be embarrassed. This is something I’ve actually seen happen multiple times in college in my friend group. No one is going to rip the clothes off the other person’s back but they could get annoyed over the teasing which is enough reason to not want to “twin” outfit wise.

Thirdly, it can be contextual, for example some people have shared stories about creepy levels of imitation. I think it’s entirely reasonable to be put off by someone who either changes their entire style and lifestyle to be like you or someone else who has malicious intentions.

 

[missy]

My sister and I never minded.

 

[missy]

Did anyone else get dressed like their siblings? We didn’t mind lol. Just wondering if any of you experienced the same?

 

[dk168]

It won't bother me, as the chances of the other person accessorising her outfit, including the bling she may wear, in exactly the same way as I do is extremely remote.

Besides, my formal wear are made to measure for me, and the chances of anyone with the same outfit is, again, extremely remote.

DK

 

[Austina]

To answer your question, no it doesn’t bother me because women of different physical build can and do wear the same clothes (unless they’re bespoke) and it doesn’t look the same on either of them.

The only time I was somewhere and another woman was wearing an identical dress, here’s was a considerably larger size meowwwww!

 

[monarch64]

Historically, women didn't have access to mass-produced ready-to-wear apparel; they indeed DID have handmade customized clothing. So for someone to copy them may have been considered flattery or a huge slight. That attitude simply carried down through generations. Nowadays I think most women couldn't care less if they ended up wearing the same thing--fashion blogs were THE THING in the 00's and now Instagram influencers are selfie-ing everything from discount store attire to couture. Some designer, once exclusive fashion is attainable to the masses now because of no-interest payment options like Afterpay and Affirm. Can everyone get custom couture from a well-known designer? No, but I don't think anyone not in that special minority of folks who make use of that kind of thing expected that anyway.

When I was in grades 1-3 my mother and my best friend's mother were in hot competition to see who could dress her daughter The Best. And it was a very dramatic day if we came to school in the same outfit. There weren't many places in town or the surrounding area to shop for girls' clothing at the time, and homemade clothing was considered unfashionable. They were mostly just projecting how they were raised onto us kids. It was bizarre and stupid. I'm still friends with my childhood bestie, thank goodness we didn't let our mothers pit us against each other in a way that damaged our friendship.

I've only been to one event where I saw another woman wearing the same thing. It was a wedding in Chicago around 2001; I'd put off finding something to wear and grabbed this red and black silk shantung tunic and cigarette pants set off the rack at a SteinMart, which was a prevalent discount chain in both Indy (where I lived) and Chicago. Got to the reception, and there's this other lady wearing the same outfit. I thought it was hilarious. My boyfriend looked at me like, "omg are you ok with this?" like he was expecting me to be in a snit about it. There were 300 people there! Who cared?!!! LOL

 

[seaurchin]

I think what most of us are saying is that it’s an exaggerated and somewhat misogynistic thing that likely does not reflect what most real life women think and never did. Most women probably have far more important things to seriously worry about, and again, always did.

Just because a thing is put out there and promoted is not in itself proof that it’s true.

I’m sure we could name many other stereotypes large and small that portray any group as foolish in some way.

 

[GliderPoss]

I've never been bothered by it, would see it as a funny situation and compliment the other women without doubt! Unsurprisingly it happens in my own family as my sisters and I have quite similar taste. We've been known to compare notes prior to events to ensure we aren't wearing exactly the same dress.

I guess if a friend always copied my outfits to a tee I would be a bit weirded out...

 

[OreoRosies86]

The

I think what most of us are saying is that it’s an exaggerated and somewhat misogynistic thing that likely does not reflect what most real life women think and never did. Most women probably have far more important things to seriously worry about, and again, always did.

Just because a thing is put out there and promoted is not in itself proof that it’s true.

I’m sure we could name many other stereotypes large and small that portray any group as foolish in some way.

This. Another outdated stereotype intended to knock women down a peg. No thanks.

 

[Daisys and Diamonds]

It doesn't bother me but I have never been in that situation.

First of all no one has Bubbalah so I do not expect ever to see a look alike Bubbalah on anyone and my earrings are antique also and don't expect to see my exact earrings on anyone either.

As for clothes my style is not ubiquitous and I have never seen anyone wearing exactly my outfit. But it wouldn't bother me. No one could wear it just like I wear it. I am confident in who I am and something like that wouldn't even register on my radar. And as @Austina was inferring it would look better on us anyway so-



No one does me better than me so yeah, no biggie.




Now another question that comes to mind if what if someone purposefully imitates your style. Would that bother you? It wouldn't bother me because imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. But what say you?

I once spent hours unpicking the sleeves on a flannel shirt trying to look like Bruce Springsteen
I doubt very much any one would want to mimic me

 

[Daisys and Diamonds]

Did anyone else get dressed like their siblings? We didn’t mind lol. Just wondering if any of you experienced the same?

We got dressed like the curtains in the 70s
i did not like my sister being dressed the same as me one little bit

 

[JPie]

To answer your question, no, it doesn’t bother mature women. Back in the pre-pandemic days, three women on my team showed up at work in near-identical outfits. Our response was to joke about how the rest of the team didn’t get the memo that it was denim shirt and white jeans day, take a photo of them posing together, and email it to the rest of our team.

Sometimes we would get these kinds of photos from other teams, and everyone would have a good laugh.

The stereotype that grown women can’t graciously handle seeing another woman in the same outfit is rather insulting to our gender.

 

[nala]

Did anyone else get dressed like their siblings? We didn’t mind lol. Just wondering if any of you experienced the same?

No. I was Too poor. We rotated clothes. No money to
Spend on doubles.

 

[missy]

No. I was Too poor. We rotated clothes. No money to
Spend on doubles.

I am sorry @nala. I am glad you are in a completely different place in your life now.

My sister and I weren't the same size (2 plus years apart) so we couldn't have shared at the same time but my sister did wear some of my hand me downs. And my mom also sewed dresses for us. She was/is very creative. In fact, just yesterday. my dh and I were promised knit hats from my mom (she will knit them for us despite her now severe arthritis) for the cooler weather and we are looking forward to that. Greg's will be navy or black and mine will be red. I requested a pom pom on it too but we shall see if that happens.

 

[missy]

We got dressed like the curtains in the 70s
i did not like my sister being dressed the same as me one little bit

Hi Daisy, we didn't mind it. I cannot remember with absolute certainty but I do not think we minded at all. We were very close growing up (and still are) and I feel so lucky to have my wonderful sister. She is truly a gem. I didn't mind it then and I wouldn't mind it now. But our styles are completely different so no chance of dressing alike. Tho I did manage to get her to wear a tunic and leggings (bought them as a gift for her) and she looked great in them.

 

[foxinsox]

Well, you are gracious and handled it well.

But it doesn't answer my question.
Why does it matter at all?
Why is it something to be handled?
Why even notice at all?

I often try to look behind the curtain.

It “matters” because women’s value is/used to be perceived to be in their appearance and because women are expected to compete with each other for men’s attention.
It’s a fairly tiresome misogynistic trope imo.
I’m a twin and my sister and I were dressed identically but for different colours until we were about 7-8. It got boring for us pretty quickly but it made life easier for my parents

 

[missy]

Thanks all for posting your personal experience.
But my question was ... why do/have ANY women care(d) about this?
Few have attempted to just answer the question.
The posts almost suggest this issue was not real, rather imagined up.

Please explain what you see as the reason for this unreasonable and unrelated attitude since only a handful of women can commission one-off haute couture from exclusive designers.
99.99999% wear off the rack mass-produced clothing.

The upset reaction is only reasonable for the 0.001% of multi-millionaire women wearing truly unique one of a kind garments.

I Love Lucy wouldn't have made a skit about it if it wasn't common.

True Kenny. That is true. To answer from an objective viewpoint, one that I do not share, but will attempt to answer. I think it all comes down to

Women (and men included but perhaps to a lesser degree) express themselves through clothing and what they wear. So if another woman is wearing the same exact outfit perhaps they feel less than individual and unique (let's face it none of us are truly unique in our fashion no matter what we think).

Clothes are a form of self expression and we don't want to see the same exact outfit on another for that reason. Somehow the women who feel this way feel this way because (they think) it takes away from them so to speak? However when one takes into account accessories there is a myriad of different ways one can dress up or down the same outfit.

The Fashion Industry has always addressed women more so than men and for that reason fashion has been more important to women overall than men. In fact it wasn't til 2012 that men got a fashion week of their own. So men wouldn't feel the same pressure as women do re clothes and style.

No matter what one might think people's first impression of you is what you are wearing and what you look like so that all plays a role into how one feels about clothing and style. It is the first thing people see. All our lives we have been bombarded with how important appearance is. Commercials, TV, movies etc. From a cultural standpoint style is front and center and matters. To many. Sad because it is just another superficial emphasis on things that really do not or should not matter. If only we could work on the inside (character and who we are as opposed to what we look like) as much as we do the outside. :/

Just a guess.

I, for one, would not enjoy wearing the same thing ie a uniform, every day to work. I love clothes and I love color and I enjoy expressing my style through what I wear. But I wouldn't mind if someone was wearing the same outfit but I am older and wiser and put things in perspective.

It’s a fairly tiresome misogynistic trope imo.

Agreed.

 

[Daisys and Diamonds]

my mother told me that 'imitation is the highest form of flattery' and if I walked into a prom and someone had the same dress as I had on that I should be gracious and kind, and that did happen, her dress was yellow and mine was blue and we both laughed and hugged and both admitted we were wearing our older sister's gown from the year before.. love that girl now as I did in 1969.

I just refound this thread while looking for some thing else
my formal (prom) was 1986 and most girls went with their mother to chose a pattern and fabric and got a dress maker to sew it
there was about 4 styles and two different types of fabrics
Mine had a sleevless drop waste with a rara skirt in emerald - at least 4 other dresses like mine and one the exact same colour (i wore green and orange eye shadow)
It didn't matter
You know the girl who looked the best and was the most comfortable all night
a girl called Melissa who sewed her sparkly top herself and wore black pants with it

 

[Daisys and Diamonds]

Rereading this thread im glad we wore uniforms at school !

I just read this the other day -
the very beautiful and stylish and very toned Queen Letizia of Spain (left) turned up to a function in the exact same outfit as another

Its kind of a bad look in the present economic environment for royals to wear clothes that cost too much money
but when you buy off the rack you do take a risk
but like a good sport HM accepted it in very good grace and with humour

See What Happened When Queen Letizia of Spain Spotted Someone Wearing the Same Dress as Her

Queen Letizia of Spain shrugged off a fashion taboo when she wore the same dress as another woman to an event

people.com

Between you and me her husband is the best accessory in the room

 

[Bron357]

Back in my youth ha ha I went to a formal black tie ball.
Dresses for these types of events are expensive.
I remember browsing several up market stores and rather liking a dress in emerald green. I noted that it also came in red and in sapphire blue.
I went with a silver dress, it was a “one of a kind”, my mother had a friend with a designer contact and back then I was a model like size 8 so it fitted.
At the ball I saw 2 ladies wearing the dress in green, 2 wearing it in red and 3 wearing it in the blue.
yikes.

 

[seaurchin]

I didn’t read through this whole elderly thread again so sorry if it’s already been stated but another thought occurred to me, though I don't know how much it figures in. When I was very young, most of the mothers stayed home and I recall a lot of judgement among them. The women who raised gardens, cooked from scratch, sewed the family’s clothes and all that looked down on those who got away with shortcuts. So if two women showed up in the same dress, it would be proof that they had bought it rather than made it themselves.

 

[AnastasiaBeaverhausen]

This wouldn't bother me at all. Then again, I'm the weirdo who exclaims, "OMG twinsies!" Even if we happen to be in the middle of a work meeting...

 

[jaysonsmom]

This wouldn't bother me at all. Then again, I'm the weirdo who exclaims, "OMG twinsies!" Even if we happen to be in the middle of a work meeting...

Same! In fact I even say it to my female boss at times. We often show up at meetings wearing the same thing, but we do not have the same taste in shoes or handbags so even with the same outfit, they are style slightly different. My boss laughs it off too, she usually says "We must be spending too much time together", out taste is rubbing off on each other.

Also, to someone's point, even though we may wear the same outfit, we are built differently physically, so the outfit looks different when worn on a different body type.