Ladies w/ large center stones, do you ever feel self conscious about your ring?

[esalyi]

I know that you didn''t describe these things and there is no need to justify yourself! enjoy your rings and wear them when it feels right to you. No worries!

 

[decodelighted]

Date: 4/23/2006 1:13:57 AM
Author: brneyedgrl
my fiance''s diamond cutter friend did not want to cut the large stone because he felt that it should not belong in jewelry. He thought that for jewelry he should have used a lesser grade stone. He even offered to trade him other stones.

There''s so much about diamonds & gems I had no idea about! If not for use in jewelry ... what was he thinking it should be used for, do you have any idea?? Or just save as an investment for future heirs or something?? Or maybe the pal just didn''t like "the gold digger". Hmmm. Fascinating.

BTW -- I

the simple engraved setting you picked out for "the big ''un". Can''t wait to see pix of these beauties. What gal would turn down an EXTRA diamond??? Perhaps the kind that would never want a RHR or think those are "ridiculous" too.

.

 

[esalyi]

"TO the OP: two seems darn silly............how about one big one and a nice eternity band. if you want to waste 25,000 why dont you donate it to an AIDS clinic. Why hide it...........it seemed silly to one world i amsimple 23 yr old with 2 carat to the other world i am ms 4 carat....just wear your ring and if not appropriate wear the band. it seems that you and your fiance are mainly concerned with the fact that you NEVER be without a ring.........what does that say
Window Shopper"

actually this got me thinking too...well stated...I think this is about appearances and that just plain sucks. I really think 2 rings is ridiculous. and again I dont care if you have millions of dollars its still a waste of money- could do better things with it. I think that is what got me so worked up about this post. As I kept reading the replys I got more and more disgusted. Yes I love fine things and yes I love expensive things and I make sure that I don''t over do it- I get a lot of stuff for free etc...but man has everyone gotten so materialistic. It depressing. Lets all stop wasting money right now!!! I swear on my Louboutins that I will stop the madness in my own life.

 

[gailrmv]

To me personally, I would rather have a great eternity band (or new furniture or whatever) than 2 engagement rings that look almost the same except the carat size. But we are all entitled to our own opinions! Plus this seems like a different situation since they already had the larger stone. My e-ring is a little smaller than your small ring. When I do volunteer work, housework, etc, my ring stays home. And when I lived in the city I always turned it around when riding the subway. My point: a 1 carat is nothing to sneeze at either. I am really wondering what occasions a 1+ carat would be appropriate but the 4 carat would not be. Personally I''d do just like someone suggested and get an eternity band and wear it solo when you don''t want to wear the 4 carat! Whatever you decide to do wear it with pride and post pics!

 

[decodelighted]

It''s so interesting how someone asks an opinion about one thing, but gets opinions about all sorts of other things UNSOLICITED. And even other posters are just randomly critiqued.

What I''ve learned from this thread:

1) a 2nd solitare is "ridiculous" but a large eternity ring + 4 carat ring is perfectly fine
2) if you want to "waste money" - try AIDS organizations
3) fashion "insiders" get their kicks by bashing those with different tastes & comparing them to Paris Hilton
4) it''s super "classy" to get up on a high horse & throw stones -uh- opinions on questions NO ONE ASKED.

 

[brneyedgrl]

Date: 4/23/2006 1:19:51 AM
Author: windowshopper

Date: 4/22/2006 12:38:56 AM

TO the OP: two seems darn silly............how about one big one and a nice eternity band. if you want to waste 25,000 why dont you donate it to an AIDS clinic. Why hide it...........it seemed silly to one world i amsimple 23 yr old with 2 carat to the other world i am ms 4 carat....just wear your ring and if not appropriate wear the band. it seems that you and your fiance are mainly concerned with the fact that you NEVER be without a ring.........what does that say

The second ring does not cost $25,000. Actually, when it is all said and done, it will cost less than half of that. I thought about eternity bands, but I did not like the way that they felt. I don''t know why. I just didn''t. I''m not 23 either, but I''m 6 years older. As for the AIDS charity thing, my fiance sponsors underpriviledged students to attend four year universities. That is his charity of choice, and I give to my alma mater and Planned Parenthood. Right now, I don''t have $25K of my own laying around to give to an AIDS clinic or charity, which AIDS charity do you support? There are so many (Elton John''s, Aids Project LA, Clinton''s AIDS charity). Maybe you have one that I should consider. The money that I have now is my own, and my fiance is the one with the resources. Until we are married, I really cannot write a check on his behalf.

I never thought about never being without a ring because I don''t have one now, other than a few silver rings. I guess maybe it isn''t so different than all of the people on here who are constantly upgrading. Mind you, I don''t think that I will have a desire to do that. He offered both rings, and he jokes with me that he''s done with diamond jewelry for me. If he is, that is fine. Maybe if I get the diamond itch like so many people on this site, I will just save up and buy my own.

My question was fair, and I guess I will always get varying responses from the side that two rings are silly and greedy to two rings mean I''m a lucky woman. I was more interested in how others respond to inquiries about their jewelry, whether positive or negative. I guess that I will figure it out once I start wearing them (not at once of course). I for one never thought that I would be offered such a big stone, and since I''m pretty low key about my life, I wanted the perspective of other women who wear larger stones.

 

[windowshopper]

Date: 4/23/2006 1:44:42 AM
Author: decodelighted
It''s so interesting how someone asks an opinion about one thing, but gets opinions about all sorts of other things UNSOLICITED. And even other posters are just randomly critiqued.

What I''ve learned from this thread:

1) a 2nd solitare is ''ridiculous'' but a large eternity ring + 4 carat ring is perfectly fine
2) if you want to ''waste money'' - try AIDS organizations
3) fashion ''insiders'' get their kicks by bashing those with different tastes & comparing them to Paris Hilton
4) it''s super ''classy'' to get up on a high horse & throw stones -uh- opinions on questions NO ONE ASKED.

taking things out of context fools no one.
1)i didnt say anything was perfectly fine...just said why not the big one and your band--why a second seems silly
2)i think having two rings is a colossal waste of money---suggested a better use for the money that wouldbe gone into a second ring
3)i dont think there is anyone with taste and maturity who thinks bragging and showing off is equivalent to differences in taste--for ex yu dont see meryl streep, gwyneth paltrow, julianne moore, candice bergen etc wearing juicy--you so see paris hilton and britney spears--classic arbiters of taste i know
4)this is an open forum--and i was responding to the posters responding to the OP label listing....which is uhhhhh tasteless

 

[sarita]

Deco, I love your new little habit of posting the "Things I learned from this thread..." it's just great, really. You are a favorite to read on the forum.

I find myself agreeing with several here on different bits...

To the original poster: I think you are bound to be self-conscious a lot of the time at first, depending on your lifestyle, your social circle etc. You will find what feels/works best for you. I think having 2 rings is a good idea for this, I wouldn't feel guilty. How you guys spend your money is your business - no doubt at least one person reading this thread has 1 ring worth more than both your rings combined. Spending a lot of money on any diamond is foolish to many people. Hopefully if any of us has enough money to throw around on a nice trinket for ourselves we do something for the greater good with some of that money, too. You sound to me like you have a good head on your shoulders and don't seem to deserve some of the flak directed at you for a diversion that really had nothing to do with you personally..

General: For those that wear their big-uns every day, no hang-ups, no fears of being mugged, I think that's great. Seriously, enjoy, be happy. But I don't think it's safe or even practical for most of us to do in our everyday environment. I would love to have a real ROCK someday, and as much as I'd thoroghly love it, realistically I may not wear it out most of the time. Who knows, we'll see... But what's the harm in having a somewhat impractical ring you adore for special occassions and something you also adore and can wear regularly that won't get your finger clipped off?

Lastly, I have to agree with WindowShopper and esalyi on this point: it gets old seeing people list off their brands the second they feel there might be an opportunity to do so. I realize this is a diamond forum but just because it's overpriced doesn't mean we all care.... I know we all have our thing but it gets really hard to believe that everybody's "thing" is everybody's thing too. I remember getting this comment on a very similar thread at a diamond forum years ago where the girl "just happened" to love BMW's, Louis Vuitton, and was getting a $70k ring from Tiffany's...

Paris Hilton certainly comes to mind and I'm also reminded of the phrase "an embarassment of riches"....

I don't mean to call names or sit on a high horse - I'd be a hypocrite if this was my intention. I did not take an oath of modesty and I see no harm indulging in the superficial as long as that's not what defines you....but I felt compelled to agree with the observation above.

 

[diamondfan]

Sarita, you are right to say what floats one person''s boat is not what floats another.

As a general comment, for me personally, if I mention something specific in a post it is because I feel it illustrates something relevant. Others might not think so, or might disagree, but I mention it for a reason that has nothing to do with bragging. (Again, since people do not know all the ins and outs of me (how could they here?) I do not expect them to know that I am not here to simply brag...I like PS because people can throw out lots of stuff and find all types of opinions given back to them, hopefully in a respectful way. And, even if and when I TOTALLY disagree with someone about a topic, I try to approach it gently, or not reply at all. Certain posts, by the nature of their question, are more likely to yield answers of a certain type. I just do not come here to brag or to hurt feelings, because I do not do that in life either. I love jewelry, love hearing great tidbits, sharing good things and frustrations...and have made a couple of really nice buddies here in the process...how great is that?

 

[brneyedgrl]

Diamondfan, I don''t think that you were bragging about your possessions (I never got that from your post). I know that you were trying to illustrate how nicer and bigger jewelry fits into your own lifestyle. Yes, you are lucky enough to have some of the designer brands. I get your point.

I guess this conversation would play out differently over coffee than it does on the internet. I am learning that we shouldn''t pass judgement on others belongings without knowing the whole picture. My fiance probably would not have bought a 4 ct. diamond, but it was acquired in a busines deal. I have met wealthy people who live like paupers, and I have met people of average means who live way beyond their limits.

I''m glad that some people on here are concerned about the greater good. I most definitely am, but we all have our vices or little things that we indulge in. I''m sure that some people in this forum have more cars than they need or more shoes than they could ever wear, but we aren''t criticizing that.

 

[diamondfan]

Date: 4/23/2006 2:53:58 AM
Author: brneyedgrl
Diamondfan, I don''t think that you were bragging about your possessions (I never got that from your post). I know that you were trying to illustrate how nicer and bigger jewelry fits into your own lifestyle. Yes, you are lucky enough to have some of the designer brands. I get your point.

I guess this conversation would play out differently over coffee than it does on the internet. I am learning that we shouldn''t pass judgement on others belongings without knowing the whole picture. My fiance probably would not have bought a 4 ct. diamond, but it was acquired in a busines deal. I have met wealthy people who live like paupers, and I have met people of average means who live way beyond their limits.

I''m glad that some people on here are concerned about the greater good. I most definitely am, but we all have our vices or little things that we indulge in. I''m sure that some people in this forum have more cars than they need or more shoes than they could ever wear, but we aren''t criticizing that.

You need not apologize! I just wanted to make sure that people understood my p o v in anwering this post, since I know it is hard to know someone via some emails. I wanted to be sure that people were making their assessments with all the facts. I agree with you, over coffee with a buddy you could converse about it and it would seem very normal. It is not an unreasonable question to ponder in thinking about your daily life. I was just saying that you should decide what you like and follow it, and maybe later the 4 carat will be as comfortable as anything...heck, you might want to wear the biggie on your left hand and reset the other into an amazing right hand ring at some point in the future!!! I think in the end that generalizing is a dangerous thing, we might look at someone and decide not to bother because of outward appearances and they could be a wonderful person! As you say, we all have our passions, and clearly our pet peeves, too! Show some photos soon!!!

 

[Madam Bijoux]

Since this thread sort of took this turn: I wear at least one noticeable ring on each hand every day and never feel self-conscious. And, I'm a label and designer ho. The way I see it , if anyone has a problem with anything I'm wearing, it's their psychological baggage and their problem, not mine

.

 

[crafftygrrl]

It really depends on your personal style. As I''ve gotten older, I''ve come to like significant, but not gaudy jewelry. I also carry Hermes handbags exclusively.

My jewelry / handbags are more expensive than my friends. Some acquaintances that I know respond to me with somewhat jealous body language, but I can''t contol that.

My personal tastes are part of who I am. But material things don''t necessarily define me. What''s most important to me is my husband, children and family. If I did not have a firm foundation in life with them, no amount of jewelry or Hermes could make me truly happy.

Best of luck--Please post your rings (hand shots) once you receive them!!

 

[jaz464]

I think 2 rings seems a trifle unnecessary. My e-ring is big and often times I don''t want to wear it. That is why I am choosing a simple eternity band (my w-band) for those times. I can choose to wear the 2 together or just wear the w-band.

 

[diamondlove]

Hi brneyedgrl,

I am usually a lurker on Pricescope and have learned a lot through all the wonderful people who share their insights so generously. I felt a need to post on your thread primarily due to the type of responses you have garnered from certain posters. I have been reading postings on Pricescope for over a year now and I have to say that I haven''t really read something as offensive as some of the peoples'' postings here. It''s very disappointing. I just want you to know that I think that it is your choice to have two engagement rings if that''s what makes you feel comfortable in your daily life.

I am not sure why those other people felt the need to get on a high horse and spew the need for greater good when there are TONS of people on this DIAMOND forum who own several diamond pieces of jewelry. It''s like what an earlier person said, it must be their own personal baggage they are bringing to the table because it totally baffles me. This is a DIAMOND forum and people who post here have a lot of diamonds. It does not mean a person is ''better'' or ''worse'' than another person just because they decide to spend a little more on a 2nd ring and call it a 2nd engagement ring while some other women wait for their one year anniversary to get a 2nd piece of diamond but it is OKAY because it isn''t titled an ''engagement ring.''

I have thought highly of almost 90% of the posters on this forum because of their generous and helpful spirit but this thread has deeply offended me in that they took the time to get on here and rudely attack you and Diamondfan when they could have freely NOT posted anything and just go get on their soapbox about being nonmaterialistic on somewhere that isn''t a DIAMOND forum. The hypocrisy of it is amazing. Let me own a nice diamond but oh no-- you must not care about the good of others because you own name brand logos and have a fashion style that differs from mine. These are not people who represent the goodwill of mankind and who inspire me to go do good things for others. I can only roll my eyes and wonder what great things they do in their day to day for others if they have the time to post on here just to attack someone asking for opinions.

Sorry for the long post but I just can''t believe the type of responses your innocent question and Diamondfan''s response received. I understood Diamondfan''s point, and, if I had not, it would only make me a truly judgmental person (and against the spirit of this forum) to sit here and attack her when she was just trying to help you out (unlike the other posters who only attacked).

grrrr-- and have a good day!

make your own decision based on what makes you feel comfortable and if you have the budget-- go for it.

 

[Madam Bijoux]

Well said, Diamondlove.

 

[KristyDarling]

Diamondlove -- very eloquently put. It was classy of brneyed girl and diamondfan to respond in an objective, calm, and non-incendiary way. It would've been easy for them to be rude right back but they weren't.

Also brneyed girl, no need to apologize nor defend yourself in any way. Heck, as long as you're in love and not an axe murderer....you go right ahead and enjoy those two engagement rings! (lucky girl!) Sure, others can express their opinions as to whether or not two e-rings are wasteful in their minds, but this is not a forum to be suggesting that someone they don't know "in real life" may not be concerned about the greater good of mankind (how could they possibly know that?)...because as others have said, this is a forum about *diamonds.* So, if some people have the means to talk about owning two diamonds, then by all means, let's talk about those two diamonds.

I also did not find Diamondfan's or Diamonds-are-hot mentioning of owning luxury labels to be egregious name-dropping (although I can't help that the visual of Paris Hilton popped to mind, hehe!)....it's just that for some people, it's a normal part of their lives and really isn't a big deal. PS is awesome because there is such an array of personalities, types, socioeconomic levels, etc. We can all learn so much from each other. Obviously there will be lots of different lifestyles...so UNLESS someone starts bashing others for not wearing cool enough labels or making fun of people for having less expensive jewelry, let's just refrain from all the judging, let's respect and assume the best about each other, and well........let's just talk about diamonds!

That said......yes, I do sometimes feel self-conscious about my ring since I'm a young-looking mother in her early 30's (often mistaken for college kid) and I sometimes think my upgrade ring would look better on a taller, older, and more distinguished looking woman. I do own two engagement rings: my original and my new 3-stone upgrade (arriving from Leon Mege later this week). My original ring is a 1.37 carat RB in a Tacori setting. My new ring will have a 3.56 H/SI1 center with 1.14 in pear sides. I like to wear my original e-ring to work (especially now that I work in Oakland) and whenever I'm slobbed out. I'll wear my 3-stone after work and on weekends. Though I'm sometimes a bit sheepish about wearing such a large stone and it's definitely bigger than those of my friends, I LOVE IT and have no doubts about buying it.

 

[Lorelei]

My good chum Diamondfan is a class act and it isn't her material goods that make her so! She is a great gal who gives and deserves the best and she is a very generous and loyal friend. We have been corresponding for a long time now and hope to meet in person one day - I am very lucky to have a friend like her.

 

[Diam100]

Interesting how a post can turn when your away..

Actually I think this was a taste of what opinions you may or may not get in real life when you wear your honker. All that matters is that your happy with it & heck buy a 3rd or 4th ring if you want.

I am in different social situations all the time and one group (my brunch aka trust fund) thinks my upgrade is too small the other group thinks it''s too large. Heck if I lived my life thinking what another person thinks about my choices I''d be the unhappiest person around. So, yes I now have 2 engagement rings heck I''m also thinking about a smaller 3rd with a halo.. oh wait tar & feather me..(lol).

Heck the comment about the magazine industry - you got to be kidding me. As someone who has been in 4 Times Square for a major publisher I constantly saw fashion mavens with logo''s up the ying yang some looked good others well I''ll hold my tongue.

 

[pyramid]

I see nothing wrong with the original poster having a smaller ring also, if I had a 4 carat diamond (and I can guarantee I will never ever be able to afford that size) I know I would want another smaller ring for everyday wear, especially as she says she does volunteer work also.

I also notice that the second ring she picked is not a say 2 or 2.5 carat ring but a little over the 1 carat so I think this is very sensible of her and not a show of greed.

If your fiance can afford it then all the better for you and wear it in great happiness and health.

 

[brneyedgrl]

Diamondlove, thank you for your response. I appreciate you pointing out that I and diamondfan were not trying to be offensive or ostentatious. I think that if any of you met me in real life, you would soon find out that I''m very far from that. That Paris Hilton comparison was amusing, but if you read more about Diamondfan, she sounds far more educated and interesting than Paris Hilton appears to be. Additionally, Diamondfan rocks a beautiful and substantial rock, so I appreciate her feedback.

Kristydarling, you and I sound very similar. I am not yet 30, and I too get confused for a college student. I used to work at USC as a fundraiser, and yes, I got to see a lot of nice rocks on some of the big donors. However, being somewhat fresh faced and prone to a zit every now and again, if I was dressed more casually, I would get mistaken for a college student. One of my friends from grad school is from Oakland, and I also worked in an area of Los Angeles county that is similar to Oakland. You are right, the larger, more flashy stone or stones may very well be inappropriate for that environment.

 

[windowshopper]

Date: 4/23/2006 9:45:59 AM
Author: crafftygrrl
It really depends on your personal style. As I''ve gotten older, I''ve come to like significant, but not gaudy jewelry. I also carry Hermes handbags exclusively.

My jewelry / handbags are more expensive than my friends. Some acquaintances that I know respond to me with somewhat jealous body language, but I can''t contol that.

My personal tastes are part of who I am. But material things don''t necessarily define me. What''s most important to me is my husband, children and family. If I did not have a firm foundation in life with them, no amount of jewelry or Hermes could make me truly happy.

Best of luck--Please post your rings (hand shots) once you receive them!!

Perfect illustration of what i was responding too..............in a discussion over the appropriateness of a large stone there several people who have chosen to make statements defined to impress upon others the amount of money they are wearing or carrying: "I also carry Hermes handbags exclusively." These statements or those previous "my juicy sweats" or "my dior glasses", "Louis bags" were made to elicit attention but these ladies are annoyed that we are not impressed and are mocking them instead. I can make all the same statememts you did crafftygrrl. Despite your comment to the contrary, material things do most certainly define you or you would never in a million years have said what you did. AND THAT is what we found so offensive about the other posters commented on .....

 

[Madam Bijoux]

This is boggling my mind. Just asking here: How can anyone possibly be offended when someone says "I wear this label" or I have these handbags" or "I have this size stone"?

Here's what I find offensive: Thousands of lives were destroyed on 911. Genocide. Prejudice.

Posts on message boards about designer clothes & bags don't blip my radar.

 

[diamondfan]

Date: 4/23/2006 11:46:35 AM
Author: brneyedgrl
Diamondlove, thank you for your response. I appreciate you pointing out that I and diamondfan were not trying to be offensive or ostentatious. I think that if any of you met me in real life, you would soon find out that I''m very far from that. That Paris Hilton comparison was amusing, but if you read more about Diamondfan, she sounds far more educated and interesting than Paris Hilton appears to be. Additionally, Diamondfan rocks a beautiful and substantial rock, so I appreciate her feedback.

Kristydarling, you and I sound very similar. I am not yet 30, and I too get confused for a college student. I used to work at USC as a fundraiser, and yes, I got to see a lot of nice rocks on some of the big donors. However, being somewhat fresh faced and prone to a zit every now and again, if I was dressed more casually, I would get mistaken for a college student. One of my friends from grad school is from Oakland, and I also worked in an area of Los Angeles county that is similar to Oakland. You are right, the larger, more flashy stone or stones may very well be inappropriate for that environment.

Hey, I am USC grad too!! I also look younger than 40 (esp. since I usually run around with no make up on and casual clothes since my day involves carpools and track meets etc...BUT I always felt, again, that you are a total package...not what you wear or the jewelry you have, but how you treat others or behave. Also, sometimes, unfortunately, one enocunters jealousy or pettiness in life, and must find a way to move beyond it. Being a kind human being or not crosses all socioeconomic lines.

Thanks to all the people who have been composed their thoughts and opinions with kindness. I reread the posts and really feel, even after people have clarified their views, there is just some investment in being offended or righteous. Can''t understand why, but I know who I am inside and out and I still feel good about me!

As long as you are a nice, caring and well rounded person, it really does not matter what you wear! Enjoy it all!!! Pictures, please!

 

[decodelighted]

It''s as if some of our classy friends don''t understand the difference between OPINION and JUDGEMENT.

OPINION: I don''t like "juicy sweats".
JUDGEMENT: People who wear labels & "brag" about them disgust me.

OPINIONS are welcome & the "spice of life". JUDGEMENTS? A trained therapist could explain why wielding them like a hammer on strangers & friends is a common path to a miserable life.

 

[KristyDarling]

Decodelighted. You are always so concise and well-spoken.

I need to learn how to condense my thoughts into nuggets like yours.

 

[KristyDarling]

Browneyed - I was wondering the same thing as Decodelighted: How else would a top-grade diamond be used, other than in jewelry? I''m really curious about this.

 

[widget]

Date: 4/23/2006 12:16:54 PM
Author: Madam Bijoux
This is boggling my mind. Just asking here: How can anyone possibly be offended when someone says ''I wear this label'' or I have these handbags'' or ''I have this size stone''?

Here''s what I find offensive: Thousands of lives were destroyed on 911. Genocide. Prejudice.

I totally agree, MB!

And Deco you''re so right about the difference between "opinion" and "judgement"!!

I''m really shocked disappointed to read the judgemental responses here. I thought this was one place where we could talk about and share our treasures without fear of such...

widget

 

[windowshopper]

Date: 4/23/2006 12:16:54 PM
Author: Madam Bijoux
This is boggling my mind. Just asking here: How can anyone possibly be offended when someone says ''I wear this label'' or I have these handbags'' or ''I have this size stone''?

Here''s what I find offensive: Thousands of lives were destroyed on 911. Genocide. Prejudice.

Posts on message boards about designer clothes & bags don''t blip my radar.

i am not offended and i dont think the others who have made similar comments are offended either--extremely turned off by those making a big deal about their preferred labels and brands would be a better way to say it. i love diamonds and the bigger the better well almost ..........as for the OP--I have NO problem with her large stone. I found the need for a second somewhat strange--it was the responses to her post that i found really distasteful

 

[MissAva]

Date: 4/23/2006 12:54:36 PM
Author: KristyDarling
Browneyed - I was wondering the same thing as Decodelighted: How else would a top-grade diamond be used, other than in jewelry? I''m really curious about this.

You could use them as game board pieces, or to cut holes in the windows, perhaps as a light catcher....sorry I have been studying uber hard this week and the wise part of me just could not resist.