Ladies - Warning: Sensitive Subject

[susief]

Thank you for updating Alex. I imagine the wait is so hard Thinking of you and wishing you strength.

 

[Rockinruby]

Thank you for the update. I'm so sorry you are going through this. Waiting until April makes it so much harder. I'm glad they are doing everything to make this a safe procedure for you though. Sending you lots of support and endless hugs!

 

[Marquise_Madness]

HI:

It is possible you might be offered a conscious sedation. No pain/memory of the procedure.

Strength and healing vibes your way!

kind regards, Sharon

I second conscious sedation, if it's possible. It's what they do for colonoscopies and I actually had it for my IUD sedation because I have PTSD from an assault (long story) and don't like being touched in that area. I was awake and talking but it took off all the edge and emotional issues (first attempt at an IUD insertion made me have a panic attack). I didn't need to sign a DNR since I didn't go "under". It's almost like getting laughing gas at the dentist.

 

[ksmom]

Dear Alex,

I'm so sorry that you have to go through this. I've undergone a pregnancy termination at 19 weeks for Trisomy 9 with fetal anomalies as well as a D&C for an anembryonic pregnancy at 7 weeks. Both were anxiety provoking experiences and deeply sad ones for me as we had so wanted both of these pregnancies to lead to healthy babies.

Your procedure this early on will likely be more like the D&C I had done at 7 weeks, and that's definitely a good thing. I was under general anesthesia for both procedures and am glad for that now- having as little awareness as possible during the procedure was probably better for my mental health. My greatest suffering in both cases was emotional: losing the baby I had already named and dreamt of meeting (in the case of the abortion) and in the case of the D&C, reliving the pain of having lost my daughter the year prior (abortion and D&C were separated by almost exactly a year.)

I bled very little after the D&C and am glad you will have this taken care of sooner than later. Sending you hugs.

 

[Ally T]

Dear Alex,

I'm so sorry that you have to go through this. I've undergone a pregnancy termination at 19 weeks for Trisomy 9 with fetal anomalies as well as a D&C for an anembryonic pregnancy at 7 weeks. Both were anxiety provoking experiences and deeply sad ones for me as we had so wanted both of these pregnancies to lead to healthy babies.

Your procedure this early on will likely be more like the D&C I had done at 7 weeks, and that's definitely a good thing. I was under general anesthesia for both procedures and am glad for that now- having as little awareness as possible during the procedure was probably better for my mental health. My greatest suffering in both cases was emotional: losing the baby I had already named and dreamt of meeting (in the case of the abortion) and in the case of the D&C, reliving the pain of having lost my daughter the year prior (abortion and D&C were separated by almost exactly a year.)

I bled very little after the D&C and am glad you will have this taken care of sooner than later. Sending you hugs.

I am so incredibly sorry to hear about this I can only imagine your pain & emotional suffering. Thank you for feeling able to write about your procedures & experiences. It is really helping me to realise I am not alone, I am not a freak with my freaky blood, and most importantly, that the actual event should be swift. I am terrified. And also as time is passing, I am feeling less un-attached emotionally, so have decided to take the general anaesthetic. I just need it to be over & done. Monday 4th is the first of a 2 week Easter Holiday here in the UK, so whilst the children will be staying with my mum for those first 2 days, I am busy planning exciting but gentle days out for the second week. I feel that I need to focus my energy on my girls & their enjoyment. I have sneakily convinced my brother to come with me on one trip with his children, as they adore him & he'll run them ragged whilst I can sit with a coffee, and my mother on a couple of other trips, who is in the loop. Only 1.5 weeks to go...

 

[Jambalaya]

Alex, I just wanted to say how very, very sorry I am that you are having to go through this. The whole thing just sounds awful and it's just so unfair. I hate it when bad things happen to such good people.

Thinking of you,

Soft fluffy gentle hugs to you xxxx

 

[missy]

Alex, sweetheart, I am thinking of you and sending more gentle hugs and love your way.

 

[Arcadian]

Dear Alex,

I'm so sorry that you have to go through this. I've undergone a pregnancy termination at 19 weeks for Trisomy 9 with fetal anomalies as well as a D&C for an anembryonic pregnancy at 7 weeks. Both were anxiety provoking experiences and deeply sad ones for me as we had so wanted both of these pregnancies to lead to healthy babies.

Your procedure this early on will likely be more like the D&C I had done at 7 weeks, and that's definitely a good thing. I was under general anesthesia for both procedures and am glad for that now- having as little awareness as possible during the procedure was probably better for my mental health. My greatest suffering in both cases was emotional: losing the baby I had already named and dreamt of meeting (in the case of the abortion) and in the case of the D&C, reliving the pain of having lost my daughter the year prior (abortion and D&C were separated by almost exactly a year.)

I bled very little after the D&C and am glad you will have this taken care of sooner than later. Sending you hugs.

I am so incredibly sorry to hear about this I can only imagine your pain & emotional suffering. Thank you for feeling able to write about your procedures & experiences. It is really helping me to realise I am not alone, I am not a freak with my freaky blood, and most importantly, that the actual event should be swift. I am terrified. And also as time is passing, I am feeling less un-attached emotionally, so have decided to take the general anaesthetic. I just need it to be over & done. Monday 4th is the first of a 2 week Easter Holiday here in the UK, so whilst the children will be staying with my mum for those first 2 days, I am busy planning exciting but gentle days out for the second week. I feel that I need to focus my energy on my girls & their enjoyment. I have sneakily convinced my brother to come with me on one trip with his children, as they adore him & he'll run them ragged whilst I can sit with a coffee, and my mother on a couple of other trips, who is in the loop. Only 1.5 weeks to go...

I have been thinking of you, and send lots of healing dust your way. You're doing the very best thing for you and your family and thats what matters the most. General isn't a bad idea IMO.

 

[Ally T]

Thank you everyone, for still thinking of me. Big hugs back at you all!

It is Wednesday evening here now & Monday cannot come soon enough. The hideous nausea kicked in big time a couple of weeks ago, my mouth is claggy & my boobs are heavy, sore & bursting over the top of my bra's I am struggling to get through some days without wretching in the nearest dust bin & my hips hurt when I run. I had early onset symphys pubis disfunction (SPD) in both previous pregnancies from around 7 weeks & I can feel it creeping back in there, the little blighter. Last 2 runs planned for Friday & Sunday, then I will be putting my shoes away for 2-3 weeks as advised. Very much focusing on watching the season finale of The Walking Dead on Monday evening (we're a day behind the US) with everything behind me & my girls happily having a sleepover at my mum's

 

[Bonfire]

Hang in there Alex!! Soon it will be in the rear view mirror and you can get back to running and all the good things in your life!
I hope you can feel all of our hugs!

 

[Haven]

Oh Alex, I hope this weekend goes by very fast for you, and that Monday brings relief and healing. Thinking of you.

 

[Scandinavian]

Hugs and all the best wishes in the world!

 

[azstonie]

Keep on keepin' on, Alex, its going to be over very soon. You are a trooper!!! Dust to you and your boobs, hahaha, they'll get back to normal quickly!!

 

[TooPatient]

You are almost there. I hope you are able to make it through the next few days with as little discomfort as possible.

 

[Niel]

Thinking of you sweetie.
I hope this weekend goes quickly andbyoure back to your family and regular life before you know it.

 

[Ally T]

My procedure on Monday has been postponed. The Anaesthetist isn't happy to proceed without a full haematology assessment. He feels that it maybe better if I have a clotting infusion before the op, which can only be decided & requested by a haematologist. Devastated does not cover this.

I have been provisionally re-booked for Monday the 11th, assuming they can find an available Haem to see me this coming week, tests can be done, full assessment & decisions made. I understand the caution & really, it's a good thing they are being so careful given the state of my uterus & issues I had during childbirth, but I am so upset - there were a lot of tears yesterday afternoon. I have been so focused on Monday.

The other concern that this now raises, is that my husband leaves for Boston on Wednesday 13th & he is unable to cancel. If we proceed on the Monday then all will be well, if not, my mother will have the children overnight as planned & I will have to stay in hospital for monitoring. I have decided I will speak to my oldest sister if this is the case, and ask her to at least be with me during the daytime & the procedure itself.

Utter, utter sh!T.

 

[missy]

Ugh Alex, I am so sorry. This sucks so much! Grrr I wish I could do something to help you. I am furious for you. How could they not realize this sooner? I mean they just thought of this now? Damn doctors.

It will all work out Alex though I know right now it doesn't seem like that. Hopefully your older sister can be there for you and that the hematologist can see you this week and you can safely have the procedure on the 11th. As you said safety is paramount even if it means postponing by a week. Better safe than sorry. But I am so so sorry about this!

Biggest (((hugs))) and lots of love being sent your way. Wish I was there for you in person but I am here for you in spirit and sending bucketloads of PS dust your way.

 

[Ally T]

Ugh Alex, I am so sorry. This sucks so much! Grrr I wish I could do something to help you. I am furious for you. How could they not realize this sooner? I mean they just thought of this now? Damn doctors.

It will all work out Alex though I know right now it doesn't seem like that. Hopefully your older sister can be there for you and that the hematologist can see you this week and you can safely have the procedure on the 11th. As you said safety is paramount even if it means postponing by a week. Better safe than sorry. But I am so so sorry about this!

Biggest (((hugs))) and lots of love being sent your way. Wish I was there for you in person but I am here for you in spirit and sending bucketloads of PS dust your way.

Thanks Missy. Apparently the theatre lists change so frequently due to one thing or other, that the Anaesthetist doesn't review the patient proposals until the day before, in this instance Mondays list is discussed on a Friday afternoon. But yes, you are right, this was always on the cards & perhaps the nurse I have been dealing with should have flagged me up sooner knowing I was due in at some point. I have been sat on my a@se for 3 long weeks, during which time all this could have been addressed. But they are very busy in there, so I am trying not to direct my furious anger & distress her way. She has promised me she will do her utmost to get me in over the next week so that tge 11th can go ahead, but had to prepare me that it maybe the week after. The one shiny bright side is that the longer they leave it, the more certain they will be that they got it as it'll be larger.

 

[Bonfire]

How frustrating for you! But I'm in favor of caution over expediency. Life tests us over and over. I hate it when I feel out of control! You WILL get to the other side of this! You have so much support here from your PS sisters, we are holding your hand as you walk this path.
HUGS!

 

[TooPatient]

Oh, Alex. I am so sorry.

The team taking care of you sounds amazing. Safety above all else. I hope they are able to get the tests done quickly so you can go ahead before your husband leaves.

Sending you hugs.

 

[ckrickett]

I am really sorry about this.
I had a miscarriage last year and I had a D and C done rather then the pill. I opted for this because if there was any complications with the pill I could have to get an emergency D and C anyway, At that point I just wanted the whole thing over with. I was put under, and woke up and it was all very easy.

If this was/is an option for you I would do it. The pain wasn't that bad at all, and I just had to wear very heavy pads for a few weeks.

 

[Ally T]

Thank you. The D&C is basically what I'm having & I have agreed to have a general anaesthetic now. The stress is just getting me down so we think it's for the best, otherwise I may not relax. I know this has an end date & logically all will be fine as I am clearly in very good hands, I am just upset that it's dragging on. I am 8 weeks this weekend & found out somewhere between 1-2 weeks. I was told immediately it wasn't viable, so it's been a LONG time physically & mentally.

I am sorry to hear about your miscarriage. It's incredibly sad to have to experience that

 

[ckrickett]

Thank you. The D&C is basically what I'm having & I have agreed to have a general anaesthetic now. The stress is just getting me down so we think it's for the best, otherwise I may not relax. I know this has an end date & logically all will be fine as I am clearly in very good hands, I am just upset that it's dragging on. I am 8 weeks this weekend & found out somewhere between 1-2 weeks. I was told immediately it wasn't viable, so it's been a LONG time physically & mentally.

I am sorry to hear about your miscarriage. It's incredibly sad to have to experience that

I al really sorry this has been dragging on for you. I can't imagine the emotional and physical stress you must be going through.

General was such a breeze. All I remember is laying there and them putting an IV in and waking up and eating graham crackers and ginger ale. The pain was nothing, and although they said I should just relax, i was feeling ok and was running around doing yard work a few hours afterward. I hope that can at least put any stress about the procedure at ease for you!

And thank you. It was sad and hard, but all is good now.

Sending you thoughts, prayers and hugs!

 

[Jambalaya]

Alex, I could not be sorrier for you. What you're going through sounds excruciating. And could this trip to Boston of your mother's and husband's be at a worse time??

Could your mother perhaps take someone else like a friend or family member so your husband can stay home with you? I know you probably don't want to spoil his fun, but, um, look what you're going through! Airlines will usually change the name on a ticket, especially with extenuating medical circumstances like this.

If you feel you need it, reach out to the hospital and doctor services in your country for support. I'm sure there must be specialized counseling available for people who have had to end a pregnancy for medical reasons.

The situation sounds just awful and it's one of those where there isn't really an answer or a solution except going through it. I've been in similar medical situations - I mean, not with a pregnancy but having to have something really awful done involving a kind of loss (in my case the loss of a body part) and although counseling helps, the only thing that works is time. Lots and lots and lots of time. And be prepared for the fact that everyone will forget about it long before you do - because although they may understand in a rational, intellectual sense that it's awful for you, it didn't happen to them.

It really is awful the way women bear the entire physical brunt of reproductive issues such as these. So unfair. I hope your husband is planning a wonderful piece of bling sometime in the year after this is behind you. I don't mean to say that anything like this can be fixed with bling, but a token of appreciation and respect for what you've gone through would go a long way, in my estimation!

Good luck, Alex. You're in my thoughts xxxx

 

[KittyGolightly]

Alex, I happened to see this thread this morning, and wanted to tell you how sorry I am that you are going through this. I had a "missed miscarriage" in October, and was given the option of taking Mifepristone at home or doing a D&E at the hospital. Because I was so apprehensive about the D&E, I opted for the pill. Unfortunately, the pill was not completely effective for me, and I ended up needing a D&E several weeks later.

In retrospect, I should have just done the D&E from the start, it was so much easier and (IMO) less traumatic than the pill. I was under GA, and the procedure was quick and painless. Like ckrickett, I felt fine and could do mild activity that same day.

My heart goes out to you. I am so sorry for your loss, and I hope you are able to have some closure soon.

 

[Tekate]

Alex, I send you support and love during this time. My sister had this done many years ago and she was unconscious during the procedure, she was 16 weeks but fetus had stopped growing at 11 weeks. She, as others said, had some heavy bleeding afterwards. Your situation is serious and although rescheduling is a drag, I would wish for safety for you to ensure you do not have bleeding problems and your are up and about for your little ones. You are a very good Mom.

Peace.

 

[chrono]

I'm so sorry it's being postponed again. I hope they will keep the date this time!

 

[Rockinruby]

I am so sorry your procedure has been postponed again. I am sure it must be taking a toll on you in so many ways. I know it's not much, but I'm sending you lots of support for what you are going through. Big hugs to you!

 

[Arcadian]

OMG I'm so sorry you're being postponed! I hope they can get you in on the 11th and there will be no further delay.

Since you're husband is going to be in Boston soon, tell him to make sure to bring decent coat. Mother nature can't be trusted (she's snowing on us right now) Of course, could be like 80 degree weather when he's here but you just never know.

 

[Ally T]

Update number 5091 (it feels like!)

Saw an absolutely FANTASTIC consultant yesterday at the Royal Liverpool Hospital. So it turns out I should actually be under a consultant, but somehow I have been lost in the system. This chap was so lovely & reassuring! He had even managed to have my Dr in New Zealand fax over my notes from 13 years ago that morning, before I arrived to see him. His name is now tagged to mine on the NHS database, so whenever I am typed in he will also appear, and can be contacted at anytime for information & latest blood results. He took NINE vials of blood from my arm & walked them up to the lab immediately himself. Honestly, I thought I might need some Kendal Mint Cake for energy afterwards! He will send me an appointment every 6 months for clotting factor testing, coffee & catch up. He has also taken over regarding my termination.

I will be at The Royal Liverpool at 9am on Monday for him to administer my DDAVP clotting infusion. I hate having this, as it makes me feel disgustingly hot & spontaneously combusty After this, which takes about 30 minutes, they will transfer me by ambulance to Liverpool Women's Hospital, where they will perform the op immediately. He will then send me on my way with a super strength version of the tablets I take each month to stop my periods. In theory, after all of this, I should experience absolutely no bleeding whatsoever. If there is, it really will be minimal. He is confident I will be fine. My clotting will remain 'normal' for a minimum of 12-24 hours, so plenty of time for my uterus to settle & behave itself.

I am still cr@pping my pants, but I really do feel in safe hands. My mother is taking my precious curly babies on Sunday evening & bringing them back on Tuesday afternoon. Stu will be with me, and then he leaves Wed morning for the US, but we will be home & dry by then apart from, I'm told, some exhaustion as the clotting returns to its rubbishy low levels.

Staying positive. Only 5 sleeps to go & it should be safely behind me. Oh, and the Consultant wants me to have a Merina Coil fitted despite hubby having his bits seen to, as he believes it will stop my periods altogether within about 6 months as I enter into peri-menopause, which can only be a good thing.

Thank you all again, from the bottom of my heart, for your continued support & thoughts