TravelingGal
Super_Ideal_Rock
- Joined
- Dec 29, 2004
- Messages
- 17,193
TGuy and I were having a discussion about this, so I''m curious what your thoughts are.
Our current circle of friends have some parents who have a MUCH more laid back parenting style. Some (actually, only a couple) will smoke in the same area that children are. Those same parents have an older son who when he was a teenager would allow him to go up to his room with a girl and lock the door. I personally can''t imagine letting my kid do that, but that''s just strict ol'' me.
So this led to another conversation about every leaving Amelia there without us. I said that sadly, I was going to be the overprotective parent on this subject. I do believe in letting kids go out and play and have some of the independence that we had as children. But when it comes to leaving her in places where they have kids who are slightly older than they are, I said no. I brought up the point that kids are curious and might touch her in ways that aren''t appropriate. TGuy generally agreed but said I was putting the cart WAAAY before the horse because the kids were still young, and that our friend''s boy was only 5.
Then the next day a very good friend of mine (who isn''t part of our current social circle) called me with the most awful story. She was called to her son''s school (he''s 5 and in Kindergarten) because they found him in the bathroom exposed to another Kindergartner.
At first, she was just trying to be calm because she figured that''s what kids do...they are curious about one another and body parts. She asked her son what happened, and he said the other boy asked to see his pee pee. Then he said the boy told him he wanted to KISS and SUCK it!
It gets worse. This boy has told her son on more than one occasion that if he doesn''t let him suck his pee pee, he won''t be friends with him and no one else will either. Her poor son...they are at an age where they just want friends and the thought of not having any is really scary! Interesting timing since TGuy and I were talking about this the day before.
She did have a discussion with the child''s mother (who is an acquaintance) and the mother was surprised and said she would have a talk with her son. My friend and her spoke again not long after and the boy''s mother said they had it figured it...the son had picked up the behavior from watching their dogs lick one another.
We all think that''s BS. In fact, my friend consulted a therapist who specializes in this kind of stuff (because my friend was so sad and worried, and figured she''d play it safe). The therapist said it was probably not a traumatic event for my friend''s son since it only happened once, but that she is concerned for the boy who said those things because they aren''t normal for 5 year olds to say unless they have been through some type of experience - usually being molested or being exposed to very graphic materials.
Anyway, I felt bad for my friend, who has a great sense of humor but said she couldn''t talk about this for a week without crying. She said she never dreamed that this would even be an issue for her son at 5 years old!!
I just wonder sometimes what the line is between making your kids live in a bubble and letting them live a fun life. I did not get to sleep over my BFF''s house when I was a kid. I never understood why until later when in hindsight I realized my mother was not comfortable letting her 11 year old daughter spend the night at a house where the mother was a 28 year old single mom and rented 2 rooms in the 3 bedroom apartment to 2 men of similar age.
Do you have a line? If so, where do you draw it?
Our current circle of friends have some parents who have a MUCH more laid back parenting style. Some (actually, only a couple) will smoke in the same area that children are. Those same parents have an older son who when he was a teenager would allow him to go up to his room with a girl and lock the door. I personally can''t imagine letting my kid do that, but that''s just strict ol'' me.
So this led to another conversation about every leaving Amelia there without us. I said that sadly, I was going to be the overprotective parent on this subject. I do believe in letting kids go out and play and have some of the independence that we had as children. But when it comes to leaving her in places where they have kids who are slightly older than they are, I said no. I brought up the point that kids are curious and might touch her in ways that aren''t appropriate. TGuy generally agreed but said I was putting the cart WAAAY before the horse because the kids were still young, and that our friend''s boy was only 5.
Then the next day a very good friend of mine (who isn''t part of our current social circle) called me with the most awful story. She was called to her son''s school (he''s 5 and in Kindergarten) because they found him in the bathroom exposed to another Kindergartner.
At first, she was just trying to be calm because she figured that''s what kids do...they are curious about one another and body parts. She asked her son what happened, and he said the other boy asked to see his pee pee. Then he said the boy told him he wanted to KISS and SUCK it!
It gets worse. This boy has told her son on more than one occasion that if he doesn''t let him suck his pee pee, he won''t be friends with him and no one else will either. Her poor son...they are at an age where they just want friends and the thought of not having any is really scary! Interesting timing since TGuy and I were talking about this the day before.
She did have a discussion with the child''s mother (who is an acquaintance) and the mother was surprised and said she would have a talk with her son. My friend and her spoke again not long after and the boy''s mother said they had it figured it...the son had picked up the behavior from watching their dogs lick one another.
We all think that''s BS. In fact, my friend consulted a therapist who specializes in this kind of stuff (because my friend was so sad and worried, and figured she''d play it safe). The therapist said it was probably not a traumatic event for my friend''s son since it only happened once, but that she is concerned for the boy who said those things because they aren''t normal for 5 year olds to say unless they have been through some type of experience - usually being molested or being exposed to very graphic materials.
Anyway, I felt bad for my friend, who has a great sense of humor but said she couldn''t talk about this for a week without crying. She said she never dreamed that this would even be an issue for her son at 5 years old!!
I just wonder sometimes what the line is between making your kids live in a bubble and letting them live a fun life. I did not get to sleep over my BFF''s house when I was a kid. I never understood why until later when in hindsight I realized my mother was not comfortable letting her 11 year old daughter spend the night at a house where the mother was a 28 year old single mom and rented 2 rooms in the 3 bedroom apartment to 2 men of similar age.
Do you have a line? If so, where do you draw it?
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