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LIWFAU feeling the burn!!!

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LaraOnline

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Feb 24, 2008
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Hi there ladies (and guys)...

This forum is really cool, my fav place, but perhaps it's not the best place for me after all right now.
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My fifth anniversary is coming up, and since Oct-Nov last year, I've been getting revved up for an upgrade for the big event.

At first I thought I'd like to add an eternity/anniversary ring to my set, but when I started looking, I realised how cheap and poor my pretty little ring actually is, and that it really would be a bit silly to add another band to the set.
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The penny dropped when the jewellery lady suggested I consider upgrading my set, and told me she had done so herself. "After all," she said, "Who do you think we sell all these diamonds to? Not just to engaged couples!"

I rushed home and told my husband I wanted an upgrade for the following year's anniversary. He just smiled, and smiled more when I started researching and found this site.
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Anyway, now it is nine months later, and I am still set on it. Although we don't talk about the upgrade much, it is very clear that his attitude has moved from one of indulgence, and he is definitely trying to hose me down.
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One night earlier this week, he just lost it when he saw I was on my beloved PS. He told me he thought it insulting that I wanted to trade his $600 cutie, and that I should learn to be grateful!
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Now, in my turn, I am slowly starting to resent that I took the little cheapie in the first place, as my original dream ring budget was around $6000. He did not walk inside a jewellery store with me, did not save for it, and so has absolutely no idea how much a proper diamond ring costs. I thought I'd just be thankful, and that my time would come.

Well, now I feel my time has come! But his response is: "you've already got an engagement ring.'

I keep thinking about all the expensive purchases he has made in the past five years, and how hard I have worked, what a good wife I am, produced two kids yadda yadda. I'm upset.
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I mean, I am now attempting to save up for my 'big girl' engagement ring, but sometimes I feel I don't even want to wear a lovely wedding set now... why would I want to celebrate the man of my dreams??
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Uh huh, you have Pricescopitus
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After a few months on PS you start to believe that 1 carat diamonds are the "minimum" and that the majority of women are sporting 2 carat solitaires. Then you feel like you are behind the curve.

We don''t know anything about your hubby but he''s been an OK guy all these years right? It sounds like he just isn''t a jewelry guy at all and doesn''t relate to the longing you have. I don''t know how you can get him to understand why you want a larger diamond, but I do know that the feelings of resentment that are in your post aren''t feelings you want to foster. Don''t confuse jewelry with love or commitment. I don''t think that''s really who you are.

Maybe find a sitter, take a whole day together, relax, have some nice wine, dinner, etc. and really talk to each other. Talk about your relationship, where it''s been, what the future holds, what interests each of you, goals, treats, plans, etc. It''s more than just an upgrade.

Good luck
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Do you think maybe he''s trying to trick you and is really planning to get you an upgrade as a surprise?
 
Date: 8/19/2008 9:08:01 AM
Author: purrfectpear
Uh huh, you have Pricescopitus
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After a few months on PS you start to believe that 1 carat diamonds are the ''minimum'' and that the majority of women are sporting 2 carat solitaires. Then you feel like you are behind the curve.

We don''t know anything about your hubby but he''s been an OK guy all these years right? It sounds like he just isn''t a jewelry guy at all and doesn''t relate to the longing you have. I don''t know how you can get him to understand why you want a larger diamond, but I do know that the feelings of resentment that are in your post aren''t feelings you want to foster. Don''t confuse jewelry with love or commitment. I don''t think that''s really who you are.

Maybe find a sitter, take a whole day together, relax, have some nice wine, dinner, etc. and really talk to each other. Talk about your relationship, where it''s been, what the future holds, what interests each of you, goals, treats, plans, etc. It''s more than just an upgrade.

Good luck
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I agree. Take a day together. who knows, maybe you will find something else that values more than an upgrade?
Maybe he is trying to throw you off, or maybe back then he thought he was making the right purchase and does feel hurt that you want to change it? Or maybe he has already picked something out and he doesnt want to be overshadowed by PS (not that you would make him feel that way, of course). Maybe you can get an add on to the orginal ring? My coworker has a lovely pearl/diamond wedding set, and aparently the pearl was the orginal ering until they could afford something bigger. But she still kept the peal.
I am completely torn between the whole idea (upgrading vs not). I feel its soley up to the couple.

But, we still appreciate all your advice and comments you left us, so even if you have to stay away from SMTR (i know i had too!), please still visit here!
 
I ditto everything purrfect said.

Perhaps he''s feeling that this upgrade is equivalent to you not being happy with the relationship in some way. Maybe he feels that by upgrading you are trying to "replace" what he has been able to give you. Obviously that isn''t true but it could be a possibility.

BTW, what the heck does LIWFAU stand for? I was thinking Lady in Waiting from Another Universe
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I too am addicted to PS (the first step is admitting it, right?). As purrfectpear said, PS really changes your outlook on the ''norm'' for diamond sizes. Before PS my dream was a 1 carat diamond and I thought that was huge, now I contemplate that and my new ideal size is small at a 1.25 to 1.4 (which I know is ridiculous, especially with my situation). It just shows that perceptions change with your surroundings. If you always thought that you would upgrade, and you feel you deserve it, than you should. You said that your ideal budget was $6,000 well what if you and your husband meet in the middle at around $3,000? Would you be happy with that? Perhaps use the setting you already have and upgrade the diamond and basket?

I really hope you don''t decide to give PS a break because your positive and caring outlook on things really brightens up my days, but if you have to I guess I would understand. Although I tried it, and it didn''t last long
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PurrfectPear''s advice is fantastic.

To look at it from a different angle, though: I think the whole concept of an "upgrade" can be problematic. I think being told that you should "learn to be grateful" is ooky and condescending, but at the same time, I can see where objections to an "upgrade" might arise ... the phrase itself has a lot of "not good enough" implicit in it. But that''s not your fault at all, that''s a problem with the vernacular of the jewelry industry ("just semantics" may be the most useless phrase in the world, by my lights). So, why not talk to him and explain that, yes, you do have an engagement ring, you''ve worn it with pleasure for 5 years, and you don''t want to replace it ... you just want an alternative that represents how far you''ve come together, and how your circumstances have changed. And, if he still doesn''t "get it" - some people, as otherwise wonderful as they may be, are just not jewelry people - well, keep your fund, keep adding to it, and use it to buy yourself a RHR to wear in conjunction with the e-ring, not as an anniversary present, but maybe as a gift to yourself for your next birthday. I get the feeling that this isn''t so much about the ring for you as it is about all the stuff that surrounds the ring ... but if he''s a wonderful husband in every way but the sparkly, perhaps that might be a workable compromise?
 
Date: 8/19/2008 9:08:01 AM
Author: purrfectpear
Uh huh, you have Pricescopitus
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After a few months on PS you start to believe that 1 carat diamonds are the ''minimum'' and that the majority of women are sporting 2 carat solitaires. Then you feel like you are behind the curve.

SOOO TRUE! My FF and I are pretty set on a 1.2 ct. cushion which is way bigger than I ever thought I''d get! Now after being on PS for a few months- I''m constantly having to remind myself that a 1.2 is more than enough for me! I also don''t want to upgrade, but a 1.2 is perfect for our situation (plus the fact that I want to wear it all the time without feeling super done up). I LOVE PS, but sometimes I need a reality check that people IRL are not as obsessed with diamonds as we are!
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Purrfect Pear, it is true that Pricescopitus has bitten, I think. I went into a B&M store the other day, and tried on a 1 carat. I couldn't believe how big it was! (I loved it, I confess! but it did surprise me, after all the talk about 'little' carat rings! lol)

Yeah, overall I would say I have a considerate and attentive husband. I'm also upset because I honestly thought he would have appreciated my consideration in the first instance (settling for a little ring that was so below my 'dream budget) - but instead of seeing my 'sacrifice'at the time of engagement, perhaps all he sees is a materialistic me he didn't know before!
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hmph. Just thinking about [/i]that[/i] makes me feel ill.

And you are right about his lack of interest in higher grade jewellery - he doesn't know, and he doesn't care to know. He doesn't wear his ring himself, although he does buy me a pendant, earrings or something similar around Christmas time, from the local mall shop.
He's a terrible shopper though - one time, he went shopping for my Christmas, anni and birthday presents from the one mall shop while I was in the car, with the engine running!
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Vslover, your sweet post makes me weep. No, unfortunately, I don't think he's seriously planning anything, except perhaps next weeks' fishing trip!
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Fieryred, LIWFAU means Lady In Waiting For An Upgrade (to me), but heck, I am from another universe - Australia. It's 3am and I can't sleep!!!

dreaming, I think that's the perfect solution, I was kinda hoping he might 'throw into the pot', but he seems to be objecting on some kind of moral ground...

hey Circe, you know, I sound terrible, but I *don't* think my original ring was really good enough (choke choke). I mean, if my man wanted a tinny (boat) and I offered him a rubber dinghy with oars, because it was so much cheaper, do you think he should be happy or not? Oh good grief, now I am really exhibiting myself!
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haha well this is the nicest forum I've ever come across, so I think I'll just post when he's not looking!! And, yes, I will stay out of Rocky Talky and SMTR while I save and save and save! I don't think I could stop posting now, even if I tried!
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I just wanted to point out, from your avatar...you already have two gorgeous diamonds (how angelic and sweet they look too)
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Not to come off as harsh, but if you address your current ering as a cheap in front of the man who probably saved and went without to purchase it...I can see why he would be totally put off when it comes to buying you another one...you are coming off as spoiled.

An engagement ring is a gift, not a right. Just because your ring was $600 and not $6,000 doesn''t make it cheap...the meaning behind it (which is the true value, in my opinion) is apparently very rich... judging by the length of your marriage and your two darling children.

You need to jump off your "but I''ve saved
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" pulpet, and realize that upgrading for him may not be as easy as it is for you. I know my DH treasures my ering...he worked hard for it, saved for, made sacrafices in order to afford it, and in his eyes, it reflects our relationship and the promises he made me. And prehaps your DH feels much the same. And the truth is, knowing how much it means to him, I wouldn''t ever ever ever dream of replacing it...

I can understand your desire to upgrade your ering. You enjoy your jewelry and nice things. But there must be a compromise in this issue somewhere...prehaps not upgrading your ering, but selecting a lovely right hand ring instead?

If you ruin your marriage in the process of getting a new ering or wedding set...whats the point?
 
You are going to have to figure out how to have a neutral conversation about this with hubby. That means neither of you taking the other''s comments personally. (easier said than done!) He at first seemed receptive to the idea of an "upgrade", then changed his mind. You may want to find out what changed. It could be the term "upgrade", that is irking him, who knows. You are also going to have to figure out how to communicate why you want a new ring in a way that he understands and is not offensive. (ie, no cheap, cute or crappy talk) Rings are imbued with a lot of symbolism, but if you just say that you like diamonds, and the idea of having another beautiful piece of jewelry, then maybe he would feel better than if he felt like you were "replacing" your ring?

It just sounds like there is something going on in terms of mismatched communication about the ring and what it means, so it would probably help to get to the bottom of it. I hope you two are able to resolve the issue at hand, and yes, of COURSE enjoy your anniversary. Things are of course things, and it sounds like you have a wonderful hubby and kids to be very grateful for!
 
Date: 8/19/2008 3:24:28 PM
Author: purrfectpear
I just wanted to point out, from your avatar...you already have two gorgeous diamonds (how angelic and sweet they look too)
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Hey there, PP, yes, they are GORGEOUS!!! Really. Even at 3am lol!

Hello Italian, I was actually hoping for a serious 'talking to' post from someone, it's part of the fun of PS, is it not?! But, just so you don't think badly of me later, I have to say that he didn't save, he didn't shop and he didn't choose. I did everything! To be honest, the budget was really restricting, it made the shopping experience a little pressured for me.
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He's a macho kind of guy.
I know I don't have to have an engagement ring. And, let's face it, by the time I got married, I was feeling pretty desperate, so I would've taken a plastic wedder lol
But, we have worked really solidly since meeting each other. We basically met, settled with each other and have worked our butts off ever since! We have bought a boat, two cars , a house and two businesses since we met! (everything except the house has been my man's idea! haha)
I didn't want to get a RHR, as my marriage is the most important thing, y'know? Why get jewellery that will outshine my engagement ring?

Trillionaire, to be honest I don't think I can talk about it.

I'll get over it everyone, I can live with what I've got! But if he buys another boat before he upgrades my wedding set, I think I will 'squeeze his head so hard his brain leaks out his ears' lol
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Hi Lara: I think I remember reading that you are a stay at home mom in another post, right? I am going completely off of statistics here, so I very much apologize if I misrepresent your situation. But, most stay at home moms do not have access to the finances in the same what that working women do. If so, I think you should communicate to your husband how difficult it is for you to save up for big purchases and that he needs to be mindful of this. If he says no to a major purchase and controls the finance, that means you have no hope to get it. To me, this isn''t evident of an equal partnership. After all, you are running the home and family so that he can work, so it really shouldn''t just be his decision. A big financial decision should be shared.

One way you could frame it is that you are SO grateful about your marriage that you want a beautiful ring that people will notice so that you get to brag about how wonderful your marriage and family is!

Again, I apologize if I am misrepresenting your situation, but if my BF told me I need to be "grateful" for something he did for me without any advice from me, and without much effort on is own, I would be infuriated.
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I am usually not in favor of upgrades, either. But I totally think you deserve one. I hope you get it!

Oh, by the bye, do you have "push presents" in Oz? You could tell him he still owes you two and that he can pay up in full with a beautiful diamond.
 
Date: 8/19/2008 9:34:40 PM
Author: katamari
Hi Lara: I think I remember reading that you are a stay at home mom in another post, right? I am going completely off of statistics here, so I very much apologize if I misrepresent your situation. But, most stay at home moms do not have access to the finances in the same what that working women do. If so, I think you should communicate to your husband how difficult it is for you to save up for big purchases and that he needs to be mindful of this. If he says no to a major purchase and controls the finance, that means you have no hope to get it.


Interesting...all the SAHMs I know (including myself) are totally in charge of the finances and the husbands are the ones asking if they can spend money!!
 
Yeah, vslover, most SAHMs do not have equal access to the finances. They are usually free to spend as they wish on the family, but their personal spending tends to be heavily monitored. And, this is more true for working and middle class women. Of course, this is the trend, and obviously not representative of people.

The quirky things you learn being a sociologist.
 
Date: 8/19/2008 10:33:03 PM
Author: katamari
Yeah, vslover, most SAHMs do not have equal access to the finances. They are usually free to spend as they wish on the family, but their personal spending tends to be heavily monitored. And, this is more true for working and middle class women. Of course, this is the trend, and obviously not representative of people.


The quirky things you learn being a sociologist.

Weird...I wouldn''t want to SAH if that was how it was going to be. Although..we''re not really in a working/middle class area...
 

I'm going to take a different stance from most people here.


I totally and completely understand where you are coming from.


Correct me if I'm wrong, but it seems that your husband can see the point in spending money on his interests - boats etc, but deems a piece of jewellery as something that is unimportant. Ie a ring is a ring.


A lot of men can’t understand why anyone would want to spend money on something that doesn’t do anything. Despite their cars, bikes, boats being worth nothing 50 years down the line and a diamond still sparkling away while their toy is a rusting heap, they do things – they go vroom and you can go places in them – so, they’re worth spending money on.


They don’t appreciate the pleasure that some people get out of looking at them – a lot of girls don’t get it either. I found an amazing diamond for my FSIL, but frankly she wouldn’t know the difference between it and a piece of frozen spit…


It also strikes me that you feel that he feels he is entitled to be fussy over the details of his toys and doesn’t skimp on the price of them. Yet as far as your ring is concerned he expects you to be happy – because it’s just a ring.


My husband is not someone who is jewellery orientated, and I once asked him if he thought the amount of money on my ring finger was ridiculous. Absolutely not, was the reply, as it makes you happy and that is priceless. Yet many of my ex-bf’s would have considered anything over $500 to be excessive for a trinket and yet happy to spend thousands on their own hobbies.


As you say, if you’d bought him a rubber dinghy knowing he wanted a yacht – I reckoned he’d be upgrading and would be pretty PO’ed if you said: hey, it goes on water, it gets from A to B, it’s a boat – I’m so offended you don’t think the boat I got you is good enough.


I’m not sure how you go about changing your mind, but I do understand you and I don’t think you’re being unreasonable.

If you get engaged with an inexpensive ring because that is all you can both afford or what you both want to spend then that is great, but if you get engaged with an inexpensive ring because he doesn’t want to spend more than that – whilst spending considerably more on his own toys, that that is not so great.


ETA: In my experience men don't behave that way if they are about to suprise you.
 
Date: 8/20/2008 12:30:46 PM
Author: Pandora II

I''m going to take a different stance from most people here.



I totally and completely understand where you are coming from.



Correct me if I''m wrong, but it seems that your husband can see the point in spending money on his interests - boats etc, but deems a piece of jewellery as something that is unimportant. Ie a ring is a ring.



A lot of men can’t understand why anyone would want to spend money on something that doesn’t do anything. Despite their cars, bikes, boats being worth nothing 50 years down the line and a diamond still sparkling away while their toy is a rusting heap, they do things – they go vroom and you can go places in them – so, they’re worth spending money on.



They don’t appreciate the pleasure that some people get out of looking at them – a lot of girls don’t get it either. I found an amazing diamond for my FSIL, but frankly she wouldn’t know the difference between it and a piece of frozen spit…



It also strikes me that you feel that he feels he is entitled to be fussy over the details of his toys and doesn’t skimp on the price of them. Yet as far as your ring is concerned he expects you to be happy – because it’s just a ring.



My husband is not someone who is jewellery orientated, and I once asked him if he thought the amount of money on my ring finger was ridiculous. Absolutely not, was the reply, as it makes you happy and that is priceless. Yet many of my ex-bf’s would have considered anything over $500 to be excessive for a trinket and yet happy to spend thousands on their own hobbies.



As you say, if you’d bought him a rubber dinghy knowing he wanted a yacht – I reckoned he’d be upgrading and would be pretty PO’ed if you said: hey, it goes on water, it gets from A to B, it’s a boat – I’m so offended you don’t think the boat I got you is good enough.



I’m not sure how you go about changing your mind, but I do understand you and I don’t think you’re being unreasonable.

If you get engaged with an inexpensive ring because that is all you can both afford or what you both want to spend then that is great, but if you get engaged with an inexpensive ring because he doesn’t want to spend more than that – whilst spending considerably more on his own toys, that that is not so great.


ETA: In my experience men don''t behave that way if they are about to suprise you.
i agree with you 1000000000% on everything that you just said
 
Date: 8/20/2008 12:30:46 PM
Author: Pandora II

I''m going to take a different stance from most people here.



I totally and completely understand where you are coming from.



Correct me if I''m wrong, but it seems that your husband can see the point in spending money on his interests - boats etc, but deems a piece of jewellery as something that is unimportant. Ie a ring is a ring.



A lot of men can’t understand why anyone would want to spend money on something that doesn’t do anything. Despite their cars, bikes, boats being worth nothing 50 years down the line and a diamond still sparkling away while their toy is a rusting heap, they do things – they go vroom and you can go places in them – so, they’re worth spending money on.



They don’t appreciate the pleasure that some people get out of looking at them – a lot of girls don’t get it either. I found an amazing diamond for my FSIL, but frankly she wouldn’t know the difference between it and a piece of frozen spit…



It also strikes me that you feel that he feels he is entitled to be fussy over the details of his toys and doesn’t skimp on the price of them. Yet as far as your ring is concerned he expects you to be happy – because it’s just a ring.



My husband is not someone who is jewellery orientated, and I once asked him if he thought the amount of money on my ring finger was ridiculous. Absolutely not, was the reply, as it makes you happy and that is priceless. Yet many of my ex-bf’s would have considered anything over $500 to be excessive for a trinket and yet happy to spend thousands on their own hobbies.



As you say, if you’d bought him a rubber dinghy knowing he wanted a yacht – I reckoned he’d be upgrading and would be pretty PO’ed if you said: hey, it goes on water, it gets from A to B, it’s a boat – I’m so offended you don’t think the boat I got you is good enough.



I’m not sure how you go about changing your mind, but I do understand you and I don’t think you’re being unreasonable.

If you get engaged with an inexpensive ring because that is all you can both afford or what you both want to spend then that is great, but if you get engaged with an inexpensive ring because he doesn’t want to spend more than that – whilst spending considerably more on his own toys, that that is not so great.


ETA: In my experience men don''t behave that way if they are about to suprise you.
So do I, 110%. You couldn''t have put it better about the rubber dinghy - I loved it!

LaraOnline - you should use that when discussing with your hubby, maybe he will see that your expectations are not unreasonable.
 
Date: 8/19/2008 9:34:40 PM
Author: katamari

One way you could frame it is that you are SO grateful about your marriage that you want a beautiful ring that people will notice so that you get to brag about how wonderful your marriage and family is!
Hi there kat, (I hope you don''t mind me calling you that
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) thank you for your cheery words!
Your quote above is exactly why I got this bee in my bonnet in the first place!
But I guess people (men) hear the word
''ring'' + ''woman''
in the same sentence and it = "selfish". hahah
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Your point about working and lower middle class women having to scrabble with their husband and children for resources was interesting to me. My husband put himself through university by working at an all-night gas station through the nights, he is now a professional, but we are still kinda ''entry level'', we only bought our first house a couple of years ago, everything goes to our business.

anyway, thanks for all your kind words girls, I appreciate it greatly!
 
Lara
hang in there
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i don't even have a ring on my finger since i loss my 1.47 ct in a robbery 13 yrs ago.
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Date: 8/19/2008 9:57:09 PM
Author: vslover

Date: 8/19/2008 9:34:40 PM
Author: katamari
Hi Lara: I think I remember reading that you are a stay at home mom in another post, right? I am going completely off of statistics here, so I very much apologize if I misrepresent your situation. But, most stay at home moms do not have access to the finances in the same what that working women do. If so, I think you should communicate to your husband how difficult it is for you to save up for big purchases and that he needs to be mindful of this. If he says no to a major purchase and controls the finance, that means you have no hope to get it.


Interesting...all the SAHMs I know (including myself) are totally in charge of the finances and the husbands are the ones asking if they can spend money!!
not us. we have separate accounts. i buy what i want, don''t need to beg the wife for money.

btw; what is SAHMs ?
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DF- SAHM=Stay At Home Mom.
 
Date: 8/21/2008 2:23:12 AM
Author: FrekeChild
DF- SAHM=Stay At Home Mom.
thanks Freke
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Lara, maybe I''m misreading, but I''m hearing you sounding kinda despondent over this ... sort of like you''re accepting your husband''s attitude towards the ring. Now, I''m all in favor of being practical, but if this is something the two of you *can* afford, that would make you happy (roughly on a par with your husband''s boat, unless that was a one-time luxury purchase you both agreed upon), I''m honestly saying it''s something that''s worth talking about. Not *just* for parity, but, well, for more than that ... partially for parity, but largely because this is something that means a lot to you. If your husband can honestly say that your finances were different when you bought the boat, and that now things are rougher, that''s something to respect, but if it''s honestly a case of his not getting your interests/values .... could that be worth explaining? I know it''s tough to ask for things, because if you never ask, you''re never disappointed, but on the other hand, if you never ask, there''s a chance your friend/partner/loved one will never know what you need. If you lay if out for him that this is something that will make you happy, both because you like pretty sparkly things, *and* because you feel it will validate your contribution to the marriage, do you think he''ll react badly?
 
Hello DF!! Love the emotie!

Circe, I have come upon a cunning plan... my man's 40th is next year, and he is a bit moo-moo about everything being over for him now...
So, I have decided that he should consider buying a second hand boat
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hang in here with me on this.

His previous boat is a tinny (little open boat not suitable for taking out into the open ocean). However, it was bought new, with a brand new mid-size engine, the works.
But... he can't fish locally with it, as it won't go to where the good fish are!

- btw, this tinny was bought as a push present - TO HIM!! Can you believe it? We (I) got family payments in a lump sum after my first child was born, and he used the money as a deposit on the tinny! That's why I thought my upgrade was totally 'in the bag'...

but I digress...
In his dream world, he would have a sparkly new fishing boat. But last night, I brought up the idea of him getting a second hand fishing boat, for his 40th, with a view to buying a brand newie on his 50th birthday!

Unsurprisingly, he didn't tell me it was a ridiculous and insulting idea...

I think it's kind of understood that I would get an upgrade if he got his boat... after the conversation, I kind of tickled him and said "..and guess what? It's so great, our 5th anniversary and your 40th are in the SAME YEAR...'

He laughed.

Except if we can't afford an upgrade, I'm not sure we'll afford a boat. But I'm guessing that somehow, he is considering HOW he can afford a boat now.
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ETA: My anniversary is on January 10! His birthday is Feb 14.
 
I felt embarrassed to mention it in my above post, but felt I should say...
Over here at the time I had my first bub, the lump sum family payments were non means tested. The policy has now changed, and the payments are now means tested.
 
DF, I also wanted to say, but for some reason hesitated...
perhaps you should replace your lovely ring...?

Your experience 13 years ago must have been deeply, deeply shocking... so shocking I didn''t want to address that comment in your post just above.

I hope I can''t upset you by responding to the comment...

But perhaps, you should replace your ring...?
 
Lara honey, I haven''t read the rest of the responses (drive-by post) but I think you''re not going to win this one without damage. So here''s my suggestion. I also lerve bling. So I buy it for myself. Why not save up for a gorgeous RHR or a pair of studs or a pendant?

That way, you get your lovely new diamond, and your husband doesn''t get offended.

Of course, that''s easier if you two keep your money separate, but even if you don''t, if you have a ''budget'' that''s yours, you could save from that.

Just an idea! But an e-ring IS a present, so not much else you can do about it, I think.
 
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