LIWFAU feeling the burn!!!

[vslover]

Date: 8/21/2008 8:23:10 AM
Author: Independent Gal
Lara honey, I haven''t read the rest of the responses (drive-by post) but I think you''re not going to win this one without damage. So here''s my suggestion. I also lerve bling. So I buy it for myself. Why not save up for a gorgeous RHR or a pair of studs or a pendant?


That way, you get your lovely new diamond, and your husband doesn''t get offended.


Of course, that''s easier if you two keep your money separate, but even if you don''t, if you have a ''budget'' that''s yours, you could save from that.


Just an idea! But an e-ring IS a present, so not much else you can do about it, I think.

Once you''re married, I don''t think an e-ring upgrade has to be a present. I don''t see any reason why she can''t buy one herself if she saves up for it.

 

[purrfectpear]

Date: 8/21/2008 5:18:46 AM
Author: LaraOnline
I felt embarrassed to mention it in my above post, but felt I should say...
Over here at the time I had my first bub, the lump sum family payments were non means tested. The policy has now changed, and the payments are now means tested.

I think it''s great. A country that sends a little bonus

for babies is right-o

 

[Dancing Fire]

Date: 8/21/2008 5:23:42 AM
Author: LaraOnline
DF, I also wanted to say, but for some reason hesitated...
perhaps you should replace your lovely ring...?

Your experience 13 years ago must have been deeply, deeply shocking... so shocking I didn''t want to address that comment in your post just above.

I hope I can''t upset you by responding to the comment...

But perhaps, you should replace your ring...?

you go work on your husband about upgrading your ring and i''ll go work on the wife to replace mine.

 

[LaraOnline]

haha it''s a deal!!!

(I think he''s already bending!

)
but then, he always pulls my chain!! lol

 

[katamari]

Date: 8/20/2008 10:59:38 PM
Author: LaraOnline

Hi there kat, (I hope you don''t mind me calling you that

) [/quote]

Of course, not!

Date: 8/20/2008 10:59:38 PM
Author: LaraOnline

I guess people (men) hear the word

''ring'' + ''woman''

in the same sentence and it = "selfish". hahah

Unfortunately, I think this is very true. But, I also think that expecting SAHMs to do all the work they do without reward is ''selfish,'' too. Just do the math on how much your DH would make a week if he put in the hours you do. You have clearly earned your upgrade as much as you deserve it.

I will keep my fingers crossed for you on your anniversary!

 

[LaraOnline]

haha, it''s funny isn''t it? We are brought up to be, well perhaps a little dismissive of the SAHM. I trained (university then cadetship) as a newspaper journalist, and took myself very seriously. For some time, anyway.
When I met my husband, I helped him set up ''his'' business. I say ''his'' because he signed the papers for the first lease about a month before I met him, and also because currently laws in this state prevent lay people from directorship of a practice.
Nonetheless, I have poured in quite a deal of money, from inheritance and also from the sale of land after I was married.
As he had no money of his own, he was quite grateful for the support!

However, as I move into my marriage, I do feel that at times he has had strong urges to express himself, particularly in the financial decisions surrounding the business.
I think this is partly a cultural thing of wanting to be a ''self made man'', who, as part of the badge of honour, looks after his family.

I am therefore not quite a 100 per cent stay at home mum, as I have various jobs associated with the clinic... although, more and more, I am enjoying being a mum, and find the role interesting and varied enough. When I first had my second child, I was literally terrified of losing myself in an ocean of mumsy tracksuits and daytime tv. Happily, that is not really been the reality.

 

[LaraOnline]

Date: 8/21/2008 9:08:25 AM
Author: purrfectpear
I think it''s great. A country that sends a little bonus

for babies is right-o

Yes! So do I! I think it created a much better environment for women who wanted to have children, but felt constrained by the apparent anti-child sentiments in the community over the past decade or two.
There has certainly been a catch up effect, with lots of older women as well as younger women, having children. the mini baby boom!
Unfortunately, this so-called ''baby bonus'' (that is really what it''s called) was howled down by newspaper punters and those amongst us who were NOT having babies.
As from last June it''s means tested, and I may get under the cut off (it doesn''t taper, just cuts off at a certain level of household income).

 

[Guilty Pleasure]

Lara, where are you from? I want to look up more about your baby bonuses. I understand giving money to people who need it and that children cost a lot, but I''m curious about the income cutoffs. If they are somewhere in the middle class, then it seems that only lower income people have an "incentive" to have children. That leaves the middle class people stuck in the middle - not rich enough to afford having children and not poor enough to qualify for assistance. I''m guessing the cutoff is set high enough to avoid that though. just curious!


PS - good luck getting your ring. I don''t think you should be trying to trick your husband into getting it though because I don''t think it would work. Letting him buy a boat so that you can then say, "now I get a ring" seems risky and a bit manipulative if he doesn''t know that''s where you''re going with the boat offer. I''d say that you should put your foot down and say that your ring comes before a boat. He got the last luxury item (his first boat), and now it''s your turn. If he buys it against your wishes, then tell him that you will be purchasing a new ring. (not in a spiteful or sneaky way, just matter of factly). I''m assuming that you can comfortably afford the ring and/ or boat though, and this is just a matter of your husband being dismissive of your desires. If you can''t afford it, then ignore my comments!

 

[LaraOnline]

Hi there GP!
Yes, the newly introduced means testing for the baby bonus has raised the ire of people, who were expecting it and now will not receive it. The cut-off is $150,000 total household annual income - but that is gross income, before tax payments are taken out. This seemed like quite a lot of money until a little while ago! But now it seems city people particularly are finding it harder to live a good lifestyle on this (that remaining after tax) income.

Back to my topic at heart

I agree it would be best to put my foot down and bray loudly until my lovely 'big girl' ring was delivered. And THEN go shopping for boats! Luckily I will have some time to think about all of this, as a couple of business things have to be sorted out before we can even consider all of this.

However, now I'm back to thinking about RHRs, because the whole original idea was about how GREAT everything is... not how cw*ppy and 'wrong' the first one was.. Know what I mean? I love my liddle ring. It's cute. I just don't want an eternity band next to it, and I really wanted an eternity ring on my wedding set... *issues weight of the world sigh* lol

 

[Dancing Fire]

Lara

tell hubby he either upgrade your E-ring or you''ll upgrade the hubby.