Marriage

[hlmr]

Date: 11/16/2005 2:06:09 PM
Author: Mara

Date: 11/16/2005 11:40:21 AM
Author: moremoremore
I''m a little lost. Why are you ''confused'' about why you got married simply because of this joint account issue?

Have you thought about saying ''I don''t like this joint account thing''.... Brilliant idea LOL

I don''t see the big deal really. If you don''t like his approach, just agree that you''ll keep sep accounts and you''ll pay for certain things and he''ll pay for certain things. It''s never going to be totally 50/50 but that''s fine.

Not all that dramatic. Simple problem. Simple solution.

DITTO.

So just because you guys don''t agree on money or it''s not working out perfectly you are wondering why you got married? GIRL you better buck up because marriage can be tough and this is just the first issue you will not see eye to eye on. Get in line for years of figuring things out when you guys don''t agree right away on something.

Rank couldn''t have said it better...marriage is about loss of sole control. There are two people involved, two tied together for life. Marriage is about COMPROMISE and not about one person getting things their way or doing what they want.

Finances are a huge deal for most independent couples, loss of control etc. We have separate accounts because we haven''t tackled this issue yet but we are SLOWLY coming more together with finances. It''s slowly becoming less about your money and my money and more about our money. We are slowly realizing that all the bills are now OURS rather than yours and mine. But we didn''t jump right into trying to figure that out, as you did we had something that worked so we didn''t want to change it right away. There are alot of other things to work out and get used to first.

Money is a huge reason for divorce, so why break something if it works?

Also communication is VERY key in a relationship and especially a marriage. Have you discussed this with your husband?

Oh and separate bathrooms is a must or at least separate sinks. We have dual sinks in our bathroom but also Greg has his OWN bathroom (guest bathroom) down the hall where he can go and hang out and do whatever he wants. I just ask that it''s kept clean. Definitely more marital harmony there.

My husband says that a lack of communication = 98% of all problems!

Have you told your husband how you truly feel about this issue?

Heather

 

[larussel03]

My bf and I have discussed the whole joint account thing, and he''s decided that until he can afford to contribute the same amt or more than I can, he wont want one, even after we''re married. He makes less than I do (alot less, but I dont have a car, so that helps me to save more) and hates the idea of spending what he sees as "my" money. I try to explain that we''re in this together, and it wouldnt bother me to have a joint account, its not like he buys expensive things for no reason, but he doesnt like it. So maybe when hes'' done with his PhD, he''ll agree that it''s ok.

Anywyas, that was a tangent...why dont the both of you agree that so much of your paychecks will go into the joint act for things like the house, bills, saving for future etc, and keep your own accounts with the remainder of your paychecks for yourselves? That''s what bf and I plan to do someday...

 

[Dancing Fire]

Date: 11/18/2005 8:57:58 AM
Author: IslandDreams
Most couples eventually fight about sex because we all go through different ''desire'' cycles. When you first get married, it''s kind of ''let''s do it all the time'' mode. But then real life sets in and most couples tend to get off sync...so one person wants it more than the other...The person wanting it more doesn''t understand why the change from when you first got married. The funny thing about this is the person wanting it more can change...1 year (or month etc.) it''s him...the next it''s you. But who knows, you might be one of the lucky ones to stay in sync.

i thought that''s before you get marry.

 

[moremoremore]

HA! Platinumrock- I MUST have my own bedding...there is a king duvet just for "show" LOL...but I bought two identical other duvets for each of us...and our own sheets...! You''re not the only one!

I''m lucky...hubby is a neat freak....so sharing a bathroom with him is a-ok! (at least for ME LOL)

 

[platinumrock]

Date: 11/22/2005 2:32:22 PM
Author: moremoremore
HA! Platinumrock- I MUST have my own bedding...there is a king duvet just for ''show'' LOL...but I bought two identical other duvets for each of us...and our own sheets...! You''re not the only one!

I''m lucky...hubby is a neat freak....so sharing a bathroom with him is a-ok! (at least for ME LOL)

MMM, indeed you are lucky! Hubbies around the world can learn a thing or two from yours (especially mine!) OOOOH...I love duvets...they are so plush and comfy! Damn skippy you are entitled to your own plushy luxury! No need for pushing and pulling at 4 in the morning

So why do T.V. shows and movies make blanket-sharing look so cozy??? I sleep on my back, so I need room to stretch out. So much for cuddling all night!

 

[mrssalvo]

Date: 11/18/2005 12:20:44 PM
Author: fire&ice
I''ve said it before - we have no fights about money because what''s mine is mine & what''s his is mine.

hehe, i just laughed outloud

. i''m a stay at home mom so i don''t bring in an income, but i do sell stuff on ebay. hubby always says how come my money is our money but your money is your money. It''s so true. everything he makes goes into a joint account and i pay our bills. and my money is my money. we distibute what''s left into savings or whatever misc. comes up. We each have a certain amount of blow $ to spend on whatever we want, no questions asked. I too have a seperate savings account, just in my name. the key is finding something that works for the both of you. 1 joint account to pay bills, seperate accounts for fun stuff, whatever.