Money issues.

[june48]

My FI and I are trying to save for a house, and while I''m a very frugal person he does not really seem to be on board. He basically told me that he''s really interested in saving money, but he''s really stressed out at work and constantly penny-pinching is going to be very stressful for him as well. We currently have enough money in our savings account to get a nice house, but I''d really prefer not to deplete most of this money because then we''d have very little savings left.

Truth is, he''s not a big or reckless spender (and he has impeccable credit), but I''d really like him to stop eating out so much, start taking the train instead of taxis, and do other little things to save some money. I spent a ton of time making a very detailed budget and it hurts me that I''m the only one currently saving. Although I agree that he has a very stressful job, it is going to be stressful for a very long time so I don''t want to let him off the hook already.

Does anyone have any advice? I think part of the reason is that he''s reluctant to start saving is that we don''t make a lot of money because we''re part-time students (most of our savings are when we had higher paying jobs), and I think he thinks it''s going to be a huge hardship to save when we already have so little spending money. I do agree that it will be a hardship, but it''ll be a little one, not a huge one. And it will be so worth it in the end!

 

[monarch64]

My honest advice would be to encourage you both to start saving 10% of your spending money, on both sides. If you''re getting married, (and it is a hard pill to swallow) you probably already know that you are going to have to make some sacrifices to achieve your goals once you are married. That is, the kind of house you both dream of, the kind of wedding you want, the future lifestyles of your children, your vacations, and your own personal desires. I would recommend seeing a financial counselor if you can''t work out a budget that fits both your needs and spending habits. Sometimes seeing a breakdown through another (professional) person''s point of view makes all the difference. Good luck!

 

[eks6426]

You guys need to figure out a way to worth through this money issue. Chances are his not wanting to penny pinch and your detailed budget making will be issues through-out your marriage. Most couples have differences in how they handle money, but you BOTH need to be on the same basic page. Research shows that money is often one of the main reasons for couples to split. The advice to seek counsel from a professional on this is good. Do it now before you are married.

 

[Caribou]

I agree with everyone here.

I think that there needs to be a compromise, he needs to spend money less but you also need to try and not pressure him... realize that you both are different and that''s not going to change much. Since he already had implecable credit chances are he''s not going to want to ruin that.

You said that you have enough money in the bank to buy a nice house but you don''t want to deplete that...which is totally understandable. So why can''t you find a house that is nice but that won''t deplete all your money?

 

[saturn]

Well, from what you have said, it kind of sounds to me like your FI might not feel ready to buy a house. Are you sure that you both want to do this? The way that you describe the situation, it almost sound like YOU decided that you want the the two of you to buy a house, YOU decided what kind of house, YOU made a budget and YOU decided how much you should be saving. Maybe that''s not the case, but it''s something to consider.

FI might be subconsciously (or consciously) sabotaging the savings plan because he isn''t really ready for all of this. If that''s not the case, then I suggest maybe you should let him decide how he wants to save money - if he wants to keep taking taxis and eating out, but is willing to cut back in another area, then let him make that decision.

Money issues are really tough. I also agree that seeing a counselor might help.

Good luck!

 

[CareBear]

How about if both of you sit down and figure out a reasonable $ amount of savings that can be achieved by each of you. Something like each month we each need to save X amount. Have him agree to saving that amount. Once he's reached that amount, he's free to spend the rest.