Most hated wedding related comment. What''s yours?!

[redfaerythinker]

I have a friend that i''ve known since the first grade and she''s super competitive with me for some reason or another. Before I got engaged she was dating a total loser and she kept saying "Oh Redfaery you''re going to win the engagement race for sure." And I was like UHHHHH what race?

Well now she''s been dating a guy since maybe Feb of ''08 and he is also a total loser with major anger and confrontational issues as well as a fifties era view on women being subservient to their men. And he over Christmas break asked her father for permission to marry her.

Well she was having lunch with another mutual friend of ours and they were discussing marriage. She all of the sudden pipes up with, "If I get engaged this summer, then we''ll probably get married summer of 2010. And then i''ll be married before Redfaery and Mr. Redfaery."

What''s worse is that she is one of my bridesmaids. This one may need it''s own thread on here for some advice.

 

[glitterazzi]

It''s early in my planning - but so far it''s not a comment so much as an assumption. Everyone around me assumes my wedding is budget-less, and I can just throw $$$ at whatever my current whim is - which is SO not true! I have what I consider a VERY generous budget from my parents, but I''m already making sacrifices in my dream wedding to make sure the priorities don''t put us over budget. GRRRR!!!!

That and "Oh I can''t wait! Am I invited!?" from random people! NO! I''m not cutting my priorities so the lady who sold me a bridal magazine can come to my wedding! Are you KIDDING ME! Open bar does NOT mean open invitations!

 

[Rock Your Socks]

I think i may have a new annoying comment. As a tattooed and peirced, big, bold and beautiful (IMO) woman, one of the most frustrating comments is "Are you gonna take out all your peircings and cover your tattooes"? It frustrates me so so much, jeez i feel like saying "No i''m not covering them up, in fact i''m gonna have a mobile peircer/tattoist at my reception in case anyone feels the need to get some ink and i will be getting a new tattoo with FI''s name across my big fat ass"! I bet that would shut them up...

am i bad....?

The other comment i get from my sister out of anyone the most is "So how much weight are you gonna lose" "lost any more weight"...etc etc
My opinion of this comment is i''m marrying a person who loves me just the way i am, not some illusion or fantastical idea of how i should or could be.
Also to all the women out there on pricescope who have grown up with a fairly strict religious background like i have (but haven''t followed into adulthood), the most frustrating comment or view is, "well they have already ''done it'' or living together why get married now" and also because me and FI have been together nearly four years and engaged for 12months already, people ask my mum especially all the time "why it''s taken so long for us to get married", i feel like saying, "its my choice and because i don''t need to rush down the aisle to ''do it'' like some other couples do", but thats just we view on it...Because in my mum''s church, whenever people get engaged, they are literally married within 3-6 months tops. Don''t get me wrong i''m all for waiting if thats your thing and i have all the respect for those who do, but hey i know for certain there are some religious couples who rush into marriage because of that very reason because they have ''waited'' long enough

It just seems to be a massive amount of bias on people who are already a defacto couple and the others that aren''t questioned for rushing into it. Cant win can I? Oh well!

 

[Tuckins1]

Date: 1/4/2009 7:22:57 AM
Author: Rock Your Socks
I think i may have a new annoying comment. As a tattooed and peirced, big, bold and beautiful (IMO) woman, one of the most frustrating comments is ''Are you gonna take out all your peircings and cover your tattooes''? It frustrates me so so much, jeez i feel like saying ''No i''m not covering them up, in fact i''m gonna have a mobile peircer/tattoist at my reception in case anyone feels the need to get some ink and i will be getting a new tattoo with FI''s name across my big fat ass''! I bet that would shut them up...

am i bad....?

The other comment i get from my sister out of anyone the most is ''So how much weight are you gonna lose'' ''lost any more weight''...etc etc

My opinion of this comment is i''m marrying a person who loves me just the way i am, not some illusion or fantastical idea of how i should or could be.

Also to all the women out there on pricescope who have grown up with a fairly strict religious background like i have (but haven''t followed into adulthood), the most frustrating comment or view is, ''well they have already ''done it'' or living together why get married now'' and also because me and FI have been together nearly four years and engaged for 12months already, people ask my mum especially all the time ''why it''s taken so long for us to get married'', i feel like saying, ''its my choice and because i don''t need to rush down the aisle to ''do it'' like some other couples do'', but thats just we view on it...Because in my mum''s church, whenever people get engaged, they are literally married within 3-6 months tops. Don''t get me wrong i''m all for waiting if thats your thing and i have all the respect for those who do, but hey i know for certain there are some religious couples who rush into marriage because of that very reason because they have ''waited'' long enough

It just seems to be a massive amount of bias on people who are already a defacto couple and the others that aren''t questioned for rushing into it. Cant win can I? Oh well!

Wow. People can be very rude, even without realizing it!! I also had the tattoo comments... I have many, but only the big one on my shoulder showed in my dress. My mother hates every picture that it''s in and she really wanted me to cover it up. She said it ruined all of my pictures. Whatever

Love me, love my tattoos.

 

[GoodSoul]

Some of the comments mentioned here are just mean/bad/thoughtless!!

I''ve been engaged 4 months and here are few comments that are shortlisted to my "most awkward" wedding/engagement-related comment:

"Make sure it works out, if not, I can''t help you when you come running home when divorced at 40"

"I''ll congratulate you only after you signed on the dotted line"

"You bitch! You are not supposed to get married before me and what have u done to deserve such a nice rock?"

"You are engaged? You mean you have a boyfriend?[/i][/b]

To give you a clearer picture of why they said the above:
- I''m quite a private person and doesn''t share much about my relationships with my family and friends.
- I''ve only been with my FI less than a year when we were engaged
- I''ve been dating a bit (I''m in my mid 30s) and people always think that I''m one of those who would not settle down and have commitment issues (I find it difficult to address my guy as "boyfriend" and always just introduce their name, instead of "this is my boyfriend, XYZ"; I need my personal space and time ALOT).

While I was upset for a second on their comments, I know that they are happy for me and are just trying to deal with my sudden engagement news. I''m a straight shooter and my friends and family are pretty up there with me on the "no filter" value. Having said that, some of the comments I read mentioned on this thread are just horrible and they definitely deserve a smack on the head!

This is another contender:

"So can I take the (bridge) toll charges out from your wedding gift value?" - a "trying to be funny" co-worker who self-invited to the wedding

 

[merrymunky]

Date: 1/4/2009 7:22:57 AM
Author: Rock Your Socks
I think i may have a new annoying comment. As a tattooed and peirced, big, bold and beautiful (IMO) woman, one of the most frustrating comments is ''Are you gonna take out all your peircings and cover your tattooes''? It frustrates me so so much, jeez i feel like saying ''No i''m not covering them up, in fact i''m gonna have a mobile peircer/tattoist at my reception in case anyone feels the need to get some ink and i will be getting a new tattoo with FI''s name across my big fat ass''! I bet that would shut them up...

am i bad....?

The other comment i get from my sister out of anyone the most is ''So how much weight are you gonna lose'' ''lost any more weight''...etc etc
My opinion of this comment is i''m marrying a person who loves me just the way i am, not some illusion or fantastical idea of how i should or could be.
Also to all the women out there on pricescope who have grown up with a fairly strict religious background like i have (but haven''t followed into adulthood), the most frustrating comment or view is, ''well they have already ''done it'' or living together why get married now'' and also because me and FI have been together nearly four years and engaged for 12months already, people ask my mum especially all the time ''why it''s taken so long for us to get married'', i feel like saying, ''its my choice and because i don''t need to rush down the aisle to ''do it'' like some other couples do'', but thats just we view on it...Because in my mum''s church, whenever people get engaged, they are literally married within 3-6 months tops. Don''t get me wrong i''m all for waiting if thats your thing and i have all the respect for those who do, but hey i know for certain there are some religious couples who rush into marriage because of that very reason because they have ''waited'' long enough

It just seems to be a massive amount of bias on people who are already a defacto couple and the others that aren''t questioned for rushing into it. Cant win can I? Oh well!

Why should you take away all your individuality just for one day? Sheesh! The tattoos and piercings are artistic markings of your life and your experiences. I don''t have tattoos but I do come from an alternative background myself and I would not want to cover tha up on my wedding day. I want to get married in black and red, as I can not really see myself in white. I wear black all the time so why should I change that for one day of my life?

The weight comments annoy me too. I am a large lady...too large really, and yes I would LOVE to slim down for my wedding, but if I get married at thiw weight, comments like that would really hurt me. My cousin married a large girl last year...she looked STUNNING! It didn''t matter at all.

 

[Nocturnius]

People have NO TACT.

Gah.

I''m STILL getting, "blahblahblah, you''re too young, blahblahblah, you''re going to be divorced in five years, blahblahblah"

But right NOW, my most hated comment is...

"And I wasn''t invited to the wedding!"

What mainly irritates me is who it comes from. It never comes from, say, the friends who were close to us but just not close enough (only friends in attendance were in the bridal party, and we have a lot of friends who we adore, but were just not close enough to be in the party.)

Example: one of my husband''s coworkers from FOUR YEARS AGO. Why on earth would you think you were invited?

But the one that REALLY infuriated me was an ex-friend I had a falling out with.... prepare for a rant.

She was asked to be a bridesmaid when I was first engaged (about two and a half years before we got married) and later dropped out because her controlling SO of the time told her she wasn''t permitted in my wedding. Shortly after that, I pretty much quit talking to her because the SO had her on a leash and I wasn''t even allowed to talk on the phone with her unless I was on speakerphone where he could hear what I was saying.

I ran into her sometime later, about two months before the wedding, and I mentioned it to her that the wedding was close. She just dismissed it with an "oh" before continuing to talk about whatever was going on with her at the time.

Then I ran into her about two months AFTER the wedding (with my husband in tow) and she didn''t even mentiona thing about it. Not even a congratulations. Finally, I said, "...you know we got married, right?" And she snapped quite rudely, "and that I wasn''t invited to the wedding? Yes, I know."

Excuse me? YOU were invited to be a bridesmaid, a title YOU declined. Then when I mentioned the wedding, you showed absolutely no interest in it whatsoever. So no, you weren''t invited and I''m glad you weren''t there.

 

[PilsnPinkysMom]

All of these stories are cracking me up... And some are making me LIVID! Some people have quite the nerve...

I''ve heard the following:
"So.... You''re not getting married in a church, then?" :said with great disapproval:
"Don''t go overboard. Its ONE day. Its NOT worth it."

kay- yeah, it''s one day. But that''s just the point... I won''t ever get to do this again:

 

[meresal]

Date: 1/5/2009 12:09:21 AM
Author: PilsnPinkysMom
All of these stories are cracking me up... And some are making me LIVID! Some people have quite the nerve...

I''ve heard the following:
''So.... You''re not getting married in a church, then?'' :said with great disapproval:
''Don''t go overboard. Its ONE day. Its NOT worth it.''

kay- yeah, it''s one day. But that''s just the point... I won''t ever get to do this again:

Th One time we get to celebrate ourselves without look completely conceited... Of course I''m going to have a huge bash!! This is exactly how we''ve chosen to look at it as well.

Also, we''ve talked with other married couples that skimped on certain things, and look back now wishing they had just shrugged it off and gone all out.

 

[Deelight]

WOW I am floored at what some ladies have to deal with some of it makes me laugh but others leave me in a state of shock at how tactless people can be ((((BIG HUGS))))to the poor ladies at the receiving end of the filter less people some people seriously don''t think before they speak grrrr.


I seriously thought I had it bad till I read this thread but I have nothing on any of this the some of worst things I have had to deal with are:

Being told not to bother having a big do it is a waste of money from people who have already had the big shindig, that''s great you feel like that but this is our day and our experience and it is up to us to decide that.

Anything to do with cost.

If you have it black tie/1.5-2hrs away/no children etc people might not come? AWESOME good for them at $140+ a head FI and I won''t miss paying for them if they can''t be bothered we are not asking anything to unreasonable weddings are expensive thanks for helping us stay on budget

.

 

[jkil0313]

I am a huge planner, for everything. And with Grad School, saving for house down payment, honeymoon, and so much more I am already contemplating a budget for my wedding just over two years away. Not to mention the rehearsal dinner is going to be at my house so my Stepdad is re-doing the backyard deck. So for my parents sake I have to start thinking of these things so they can set a budget. So I hate getting told "Aren''t you planning a little too early?"

Followed by "Why is your date so far away?"

 

[frillylace]

My least liked comment is:

"Are you getting nervous yet"

No, but are you TRYING to make me nervous by always asking this?

Now that I am married I hate "when are you having kids".

Actually these comments started when we were engaged but they were in the form of "will you start trying for kids as soon as you are married".

No, no kids for us. Sorry.

 

[Winks_Elf]

Because I''ve been married before, I''m getting comments from my own mother on how I shouldn''t wear white, or a real wedding gown. Um, hello? That''s MY decision! She''s also said not to invite her friends because they went to my first wedding, and she doesn''t want to be embarrassed (not my fault he was a cheating ba$tard!) that I''m getting married again.

Funny part is, she really likes my boyfriend! We''re not even engaged just yet (its coming soon), and I''m already hearing crap.

 

[Clairitek]

Yesterday FI and I had a conversation with his parents about our new wedding plans (small intimate affair in Napa with 32 people total, including us).

I can now add "But that won''t work for my siblings" and "But the family is looking forward to having a chance to get together!" to my list.

First of all, I thought that the idea here was picking out wedding plans that we (the people getting married) love. Second of all, why does your family need some grand excuse to get together? How about just planning something and doing it without a birthday or graduation or wedding to have as a reason?

I was fooling myself thinking that we could plan this thing without this sort of issue.

 

[meresal]

Date: 1/12/2009 11:39:07 AM
Author: Winks_Elf
Because I''ve been married before, I''m getting comments from my own mother on how I shouldn''t wear white, or a real wedding gown. Um, hello? That''s MY decision! She''s also said not to invite her friends because they went to my first wedding, and she doesn''t want to be embarrassed (not my fault he was a cheating ba$tard!) that I''m getting married again.

Funny part is, she really likes my boyfriend! We''re not even engaged just yet (its coming soon), and I''m already hearing crap.

Are you ''effing kidding me??? Doesn''t want to be embarassed???

 

[PrincessDijon]

My mom started with the
"Well, what you NEED to do is...."
"Well you HAVE to invite __________ (fill in one of HER friends)...
"You shouldn''t even be worrying about this right now it''s too far away..." (Not when you have to start saving a crap load of money.....)
and the KICKER....
"well I''m THE MOTHER OF THE BRIDE...." (It so makes me not want to get married again!!!)


She wants to control my wedding!!!!AHHHHH

Background: I eloped once before with my XH and she refused to go to to it. Now because I am getting married again she wants to take over it and get the "celebration" she never got to have last time....All fine and dandy if she''s paying for it....

 

[tropiqalkiwi]

This isn''t nearly as awful as some of the other comments here, but I am getting very fed up with people asking if I''m going to wear flats at my wedding.

At nearly every wedding dress salon I have gone to the person helping me has asked how tall my finance is. Well I am 6 feet tall myself and am very used to comments about my height, and taking the comment casually I tell them he is the same height, 6 feet. Immediately they act concerned and say, "Oh, so you are going to wear flats right?!?"

I tell them I have not made my decision yet, I''m waiting till I find a dress, but if I do decide to wear flats I will be choosing them for comfort reasons not because I am ashamed of making myself taller than my fiance!

 

[Deelight]

Date: 1/15/2009 3:18:13 AM
Author: tropiqalkiwi
This isn''t nearly as awful as some of the other comments here, but I am getting very fed up with people asking if I''m going to wear flats at my wedding.


At nearly every wedding dress salon I have gone to the person helping me has asked how tall my finance is. Well I am 6 feet tall myself and am very used to comments about my height, and taking the comment casually I tell them he is the same height, 6 feet. Immediately they act concerned and say, ''Oh, so you are going to wear flats right?!?''


I tell them I have not made my decision yet, I''m waiting till I find a dress, but if I do decide to wear flats I will be choosing them for comfort reasons not because I am ashamed of making myself taller than my fiance!

You could always tell them you will be rocking some stripper boots and do they have in stock?

Winks

that is terrible of your mum to say that

I am so sorry.

 

[Blair138]

I am getting some of the SAME comments!

From a co-worker I have basically been told that my tastes are too expensive (I believe I posted about this already in here), but guess what lady, I''m paying not you!

oh and FI''s mom was really good at the beginning and now she asks him questions instead of me, when she knows that he has the worst memory and can''t keep things straight...why won''t she just ask me!?!

oh, and I was also getting told I was planning too early.

People need a filter!

 

[musey]

Date: 1/15/2009 10:06:30 AM
Author: Blair138
From a co-worker I have basically been told that my tastes are too expensive

Wow, that is RUDE! We got told that, semi-jokingly, about our registries (someone asked us if they could get us an off-registry gift from some place that wasn''t "so expensive" - for the record, our registries were at Williams-Sonoma, Pottery Barn, and CRATE AND BARREL. That WAS our inexpensive option - and the average gift on all our registries cost $30!!! FWIW, that person ended up spending about $250 on our wedding gift, one of the most expensive gifts we received).

oh, and I was also getting told I was planning too early.

I got really annoyed at some friends of my in-laws'' during a visit early in our engagement (which was 20 months - yes, I know that''s on the long side). They asked when the wedding was, we said "October 2008" (it was June 2007 at the time) and the woman said "Wow, why even bother being engaged when the wedding is that far away?"

I''m sorry, but EXCUSE ME?? For the record, we''d just booked our venue the month before, and they''d had only ONE date left in fall 2008, and nothing before. Nothing! Obviously if we''d really wanted to get married sooner we could have made it work, but we were having the wedding we wanted when we wanted, and obviously it was not all that much lead time since they didn''t have any dates left!

People need to keep in mind that others'' ideas of a good ''timeline'' for engagement and marriage does not have to line up with theirs.

 

[wannaBMrsH]

"What is the point? You already live together, aren''t you common law married?"

"You are paying for so and so right? No? But you booked/bought such an expensive (insert vendor, item here)!"

"You are going to lose some weight, right?"

"I don''t like that location, have you considered (insert their preferred location)? I love it there and everyone knows me!"

There are the other ones (You HAVE to, You CAN''T, etc.) but those are the worst ones. FI and I are paying for ourselves, his boys, and our immediate families (parents and siblings), as well as our bridal party (some of which overlap with siblings). We have narrowed our search down to two resorts in the Dominican Republic and are taking a VERY close look at costs to travel (we are only looking at all-inclusive properties, we are offering 3, 4 and 7 day options to guests, and we are ensuring that airfare is included in the group rate).

The point is that we aren''t actually married.

Why would I pay for my cousin and her FI just because no one else in their immediate family will be able to go? Why should my shoes, photographer, travel agent, wedding planner, etc...be anyone''s business? (For the record, we are not spending nearly the amount people think we are!)

Yes, I am PLANNING to lose weight, but WHY would you ask something like that? And WHY would I have to share such a difficult struggle with YOU?

Then don''t go. Go to your favorite resort where they know you.

UGH!!! Sorry, I am in feeling sickey and in a bad mood....