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My asscher three stone anniversary ring!

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Date: 1/19/2007 12:37:20 PM
Author: colorkitty
Deco, I appreciate your advice, but I disagree. I''m a sharp cookie, and I know when my husband being manipulative. I also know how and when to put my needs first. I often do. I do I believe he is unrealistic about the usage the pieces he will buys me will get? Yes. Do I think he''s doing it to be mean? No.

I love my e-ring stone. I just don''t love how big it is, how much attention it gets, how I''ve knocked it into everything possible, and how I''ve broken off a corner in just 4 years. He is not being a bad person. He just does not get it.

Edit: I think a lot of men think they get their girlfriend a ring and then she wears it for life and that''s that. Our circumstance is a little different because, other than tell me no diamonds, he didn''t help pick it out, nor did he propose with it (or ever). He can legitimately look at me and tell me I picked it out. And I can legitimately claim I wanted a diamond, and having that option shelved, picked my favorite color stone, which happens to be very unpopular and of which cutters don''t seem to bother with unless it''s a huge slab. Took me months just to find a jeweler that had heard of that color sapphires. But regardless of what the ring is, or how it came about, I don''t think too many men want to hear that their wife wants a new one.
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okay wait a minute... you wanted a diamond engagement ring and instead hegave you the greenlight for a gemstone ring that you picked and he never actually proposed with?

Why did he not care that you wanted a diamond?
Why did he not propose with it?
 
Date: 1/19/2007 2:06:55 PM
Author: lumpkin
I think it''s gorgeous!

I also think your husband needs to get over himself. It totally aggravates me when men get all huffy over ''I bought you that, you don''t wear it'' bla bla bla. Please! The ring is about you, not him.

On the other hand, if he''s going to be all huffy about it anyway, send it back, save your money and buy a ring for yourself and wear it on your right hand.

It''s a beautiful ring, you should be able to enjoy it guilt free. If you can''t, send it back because it will never bring you joy.
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I don''t agree with the highlighted part at all.... particularly where e-rings are concerned, or gifts from men. If you want it to be all about you, buy it yourself!
 
Date: 1/19/2007 2:59:54 PM
Author: colorkitty

So I can understand. However, I would re-set that stunning yellow honker of yours with a more protective setting (personally I''d love to see what Leon would do for that stone) and either keep the asscher ring (if I loved it)... or get myself a really nice wide BLINGTASTIC band/ wedding ring and wear that by itself when I didn''t feel like wearing the sapphire (I ADORE that color. Is that called ''canary''?). If I kept the asscher ring, I''d tell hubby that I would alternate once its re-set... and really would do so.
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It''s funny you would mention Leon because there''s a picture of a pad sapphire very similar in size and cut to mine in a Leon setting that I''ve wanted for that yellow stone since before I got it. My husband agreed we should get a new setting later down the road, but we didn''t think I''d have this many problems with the current one. It''s a basket setting the jeweler welded together himself and he set the stone up way high. I don''t know that we can afford Leon. I found a picture on google of the ring I''m talking about for eye candy.

The weird thing is that my husband is not a traditional guy. Until I stopped wearing the sapphire and we broke down and got a cheap band, I didn''t have a wedding ring at all. On our wedding day, he exchanged back to me my e-ring. I think he really just likes the ring. I think he thinks it''s pretty. Seriously. He thinks diamonds look stupid.

Beacon- I''m not 100% sure I''m going to return it. I really do like it and if it fit my right hand, I''d turn it into a RHR.
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If you got it from BN I think they will resize it for you for free if you send it back to them. It is very pretty.
 
Date: 1/19/2007 4:50:40 PM
Author: Cehrabehra


Date: 1/19/2007 2:06:55 PM
Author: lumpkin
I think it's gorgeous!

I also think your husband needs to get over himself. It totally aggravates me when men get all huffy over 'I bought you that, you don't wear it' bla bla bla. Please! The ring is about you, not him.

On the other hand, if he's going to be all huffy about it anyway, send it back, save your money and buy a ring for yourself and wear it on your right hand.

It's a beautiful ring, you should be able to enjoy it guilt free. If you can't, send it back because it will never bring you joy.
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I don't agree with the highlighted part at all.... particularly where e-rings are concerned, or gifts from men. If you want it to be all about you, buy it yourself!
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He bought, I'm assuming, the ring to please her, as a gift to her. If you buy someone a gift, the gift is about them. That's what I mean. If the gift is given without a giving spirit, and there is guilt over it by the person receiving it, it's not much of a gift, IMO.

I bought my husband a watch, for example, which was an anniversary gift and marked a very special time in our lives. It was the best I could afford and I picked out something I knew that he would enjoy. Now he wears something else that I gave him and I don't mind at all. I certainly would not make him feel guilty about it.

But everyone's relationship is different and opinions are like belly buttons. Everyone has one, and some are more attractive than others, LOL!
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I don't necessarily think everyone should agree with my opinion.
 
I don''t agree with the highlighted part at all.... particularly where e-rings are concerned, or gifts from men. If you want it to be all about you, buy it yourself!
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Having to pick it out myself with no help from him certainly did not feel like a gift from him... it felt like a gift from me... except not quite what I would have wanted had I been given free reign. He didn''t propose because he didn''t feel it was necessary. I''m far sadder about missing out on a proposal and a ring he picked than I am about not having a diamond. However, that''s water under the bridge and the ring is one thing we can work on now. I disagree that my ring is not too big. It''s 10x8mm, which is far too big for me. I''ve learned to live with it, but the next one of his friends comments on how it must of cost more than their car while their wife is sitting there with a 1 carat diamond is going to get a swift kick!

The bottom line is that I''m happy to have it reset so I can wear it occasionally, but I simply won''t wear it on a daily basis. I''m embarrassed to have a stone that large. It''s important to me to be modest, not flashy, and attract no attention. I''m sorry to say I caved into pressure from my family 4 years ago to finally get a ring, otherwise they would not accept the engagement, and from my husband not to get a diamond.
 
Have you just thought about maybe doing a small band? You could maybe even compromise and do diamonds and sapphires that way you and your husband can be happy.
 
I think lisaC's idea of having the stone cut to a more manageable size (like 7mm X 7mm?) and put into a setting that protects the stone if it's hit is a fabulous idea. Would your husband be okay with that? It's totally reasonable to feel as though the stone is too big and therefore, you don't want to damage it if you smack it on anything.
 
Also, if you wanted diamonds, maybe you could have the sapphire re-cut and then set as the main stone in a three-stone setting with diamond sides. One of my wedding communities had a "show me your colored stone e-ring" post today and several girls had GORGEOUS three-stone rings with sapphires as the center stone.

I think your sapphire nestled between two ACAs would be stunning.
 
It''s beautiful and SO elegant! How can I resist not one, not two, but THREE asschers! Congratulations!
 
It''s beautiful, I''m glad you added a picture!! Congrats on your beautiful ring!
 
I also wanted to add, since I didn''t earlier, that I think your new ring is gorgeous! But I can understand how you feel. I hope you and your husband come to a decision you''re both happy with!
 
This is a really confusing situation! I can''t understand how he is so sentimental about the yellow sapphire when he didn''t pick it out and he didn''t propose with it! I would agree with the others who said, since you are unhappy with the size of the sapphire and it has a chip, it can be recut to a better size for you. Then you can get a new setting for it.

But I think there''s nothing wrong with having more than one ring, either. There is no reason for him to be hurt for you to wear other rings sometime.
 
Date: 1/19/2007 9:44:31 PM
Author: colorkitty

I don''t agree with the highlighted part at all.... particularly where e-rings are concerned, or gifts from men. If you want it to be all about you, buy it yourself!
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Having to pick it out myself with no help from him certainly did not feel like a gift from him... it felt like a gift from me... except not quite what I would have wanted had I been given free reign. He didn''t propose because he didn''t feel it was necessary. I''m far sadder about missing out on a proposal and a ring he picked than I am about not having a diamond. However, that''s water under the bridge and the ring is one thing we can work on now. I disagree that my ring is not too big. It''s 10x8mm, which is far too big for me. I''ve learned to live with it, but the next one of his friends comments on how it must of cost more than their car while their wife is sitting there with a 1 carat diamond is going to get a swift kick!

The bottom line is that I''m happy to have it reset so I can wear it occasionally, but I simply won''t wear it on a daily basis. I''m embarrassed to have a stone that large. It''s important to me to be modest, not flashy, and attract no attention. I''m sorry to say I caved into pressure from my family 4 years ago to finally get a ring, otherwise they would not accept the engagement, and from my husband not to get a diamond.
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I think you should really think about this situation you''re in.... and what you really want that will best fix this and not throwing diamond bandaids on it... kwim? I think being really honest with yourself, really honest with your husband - even shedding tears if you need to purge whatever''s going on inside of you and get it out in the open.... figure out what it is that you *truly* want and not just what will get you by... and if it means that your husband goes and picks something out for you then talk to him!!!
 
Maybe I misunderstood what he said on thursday? Because when we talked last night, he was adamant that I keep it. He wants to make me happy, but doesn't always understand how, and says the wrong things. He says he bought the ring for me to enjoy and doesn't care what hand/finger I wear it on, how often I wear it, or if I wear it. It's mine and I can do whatever I want with it, including returning it, but he'd prefer that I don't, because he meant it to be a very special gift from him. He says I can turn the sapphire into a pendant or have it reset. I'm going to leave it alone for now. In the long term, I'm leaning toward wearing just a band on my left hand and alternating rings on my right, although I also think the sapphire would make an amazing pendant. A fun project we can work on together in a few years.

So unless something disastrous happens to it in the next 27 days, I'm keeping the ring! And we're both very happy about it. Which is good, because I lurves it and didn't want to give it up. He'll always love the look of the sapphire on my finger more, but he admits that, considering how often he looks at my rings vs. how often I do, it's more important to him that I wear what I like. I think most of his behavior was rooted from a disappointment that I don't like what he likes. He wants to make me happy, but couldn't accept that what made him happy didn't make me as happy. He has snapped out of that, as he always does. He's starting to warm up to the asschers :) and know thinks they're pretty, too.
 

I''m really glad you guys got that resolved. It''s such a pretty ring and it looks very nice on you. I personally like diamonds for bridal jewelry because they are so much tougher than other gems. I think your sapphire is beautiful, but I can understand your fear of damaging it. Congratulations on keeping that beauty!



 
Color Kitty,

You love it! Keep it and don''t say if anything changes in 27 days; I think he should not changes his mind.

You love it so enjoy!!!! You are a sweetie and wear it in good health!!!
 
Colorkitty, I''m so glad you are going to keep the asscher ring! It may be hazardous though - you may find yourself staring at the ring, holding up traffic, driving off the road.... Ha-ha! Just joking! Seriously, don''t be surprised if you find yourself staring at it for minutes on end. Asschers are captivating!

I replied on your other e-ring thread with a link to my pink sapphire setting, but just thought I''d add my 2 cents here - get the stone polished/recut, get a new setting that is low on your finger, use either a halo or sidestones to protect the sapphire. This sapphire is a gorgeous color and I know you will love it once you set it properly!
 
The asscher ring is just gorgeous and I''m so glad that you''ve talked things out with your husband so that you can keep it and enjoy wearing it!
 
Oh Colorkitty - your ring is absolutely beautiful! Wear it and enjoy it!!!!!
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Beautiful rings CK! Those asschers are gorgeous and I agree that if you choose to do so, Richard Homer would do something marvelous with that sapphire of yours. His work truly is amazing. =)
 
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