My best friend''s wedding

[larussel03]

So, it''s so odd but my best friend and I ever since high school seemed to go through the same things at the same times. Our first serious (and bad boy) boyfriends, first long term relationships, we even do similar things like when we want attention from our bfs, we just say "attention" as a joke---but we do these things without knowing the other does them. Many people even say we look alike (I wish, she''s absolutely beautiful).

So today she called me to tell me that a former friend of ours got engaged, and then we started talking and we both are planning on getting engaged within the next 6 months and we picked the SAME DATE in 2007 for our wedding!! November 3rd! Well, she was thinking that or the last day of Oct and I was thinking that or the 2nd Sat of November. So, I''ll take the 2nd Sat just in case, but it''s so eerie how many things happen to the both of us at the same time.

Do you think it''d be wierd to get married a week after your best friend? Maybe I shold plan it for a different month bc we will prob be each other''s MOH''s too, or at least she''ll be mine, I dont know if she''ll end up having a relative as the MOH but I think I''m prob it. She did say the date first, so she has first dibs. I know I"m getting ahead of myself here, but I want to make sure I pick a date that will be really special...

 

[snuga]

I don''t think there is anything wrong with having weddings so close together. It seems like everything else you guys do is fairly similar/happens around the same time, it almost makes sense to have your weddings so close. I was in a wedding this past summer and the couple got married on the same day that the bride''s parents did, some 20 years later. The bride brought it up with her parents first to make sure they didn''t have a problem with it, but they seemed like it was something special they could celebrate together. Talk to your friend about it, I''m sure she wouldn''t have a problem with it being so close, and it will always be a great time of year to celebrate with each other. The only reason I can think of changing the month is if you are worried about planning or it being too stressful, otherwise I think it would be fun. Just my .02.

 

[ello]

I personally see nothing wrong with it. It''s a wonderful celebration to share amongst friends - GO FOR IT!!!

 

[researcher]

One of my closest friends and I got married 1 month apart, and other than having a lot of conflicts with setting wedding related dates (engagement parties, showers, and bachelor/bachelorette parties) it was fun to have someone going through the same process! We looked through magazines together, went to bridal events/shows together, and even went dress shopping together! Oh, but it was difficult on mutual friends as they had all the gifts to buy and events to attend. But, some of that was due to the fact that, in addition to our being good friends (in each others weddings), our now husbands are good friends as well (we all went to the same high school). But back to my point--there are some upsides, some down. I would consider your guest lists and activities and make sure there won''t be too many conflicts, and also make sure it won''t be a hardship on friends!

 

[larussel03]

I''m not worried that she''ll mind, we should have expected it haha. But I''m just thinking that if we end up being each other''s maid of honor, it may be too stressful since our "duty" is to help each other out with each other''s weddings.

 

[peonygirl]

If you were married a week apart, it might impact your honeymoon plans. Just a thought.

 

[anchor31]

I think that''s so great! I absolutely think you can help each other out even if you''re both planning your own wedding. Do you have other bridesmaids to help you out? As for the dates, should you really be the only one to change your plans for this? Maybe you and your best friend could pick out dates that are convenient to the both of you. I''m very excited for you, I don''t think that it takes the light away from your own day at all!

 

[Blue824]

There''s totally nothing wrong with that.

Just take into consideration that the couple to get married first would have to delay their honeymoon

And if you''re each maids of honor the time requirements....is she going to be able to help you with everything you''d want her help with and are you going to be able to be there for everything she''d want you there for? I think time would get stretched pretty thin and it would be pretty stressful, for me, personally.

Not that those are reasons to change dates, but just to keep in the back of your mind to be prepared for!

 

[MelissaSue]

I think it would be awesome! You could totally plan everything together! Have joint showers. So much fun!

 

[appletini]

I second the joint showers...how fun! Also have your weddings at least two weeks apart to allow time for the honeymoon.

 

[JDgirl]

I guess I''m the weird one, but I''d want some space between the two. Maybe it''s because I''m not in your situation, so I don''t know what it''s like to have someone going through the same things at the same times. But I''d want to be able to focus on her event, and I''d want her to be able to focus on my event. Plus, I wouldn''t want any honeymoon conflicts. All in all, I just would prefer to have my own special time and let her have hers. But if you enjoy sharing the things that you go through together, then by all means, go for it.

 

[larussel03]

I think I''ll prob just decide on another time b/c I do want us each to have our own special day. Plus, if we''re planning weddings together, we''re more likely to end up having totally similar receptions b/c we''ll end up agreeing on what we like and just having the same type of thing, and that''s not as much fun. I think I''d like to go for a completely diff season so that we dont end up having mirroring weddings.

 

[AndyRosse]

Date: 11/9/2005 11:45:00 AM
Author: *~Sweetpea~*
I think I''ll prob just decide on another time b/c I do want us each to have our own special day. Plus, if we''re planning weddings together, we''re more likely to end up having totally similar receptions b/c we''ll end up agreeing on what we like and just having the same type of thing, and that''s not as much fun. I think I''d like to go for a completely diff season so that we dont end up having mirroring weddings.

I agree. You don''t need two people pulling their hair out when planning two weddings back to back. You need at least one to be semi-rational!!

Also, there would be concerns about the honeymoon, as others have pointed out.

 

[MissAva]

What if people who need to travel choose to go to one wedding or the other...could cause conflict.

 

[larussel03]

Maybe a solution would be that I could still have my wedding in November as well, have it the 17th, and she can have the 3rd (or the last sat of oct, which is the other one she was thinking of) but we''d have to agree to not talk about the details so that our weddings didnt end up being too alike. We dont have too many friends in common, 4 from highschool have moved away, though, one is in medical school in NY, one lives in NY, one in DC and one in New Jersey (I live in MA) so 3 of the 4 are within driving distance. But those are the only ppl that we have in common.

Either that or I''ll just move it completely. I''m not going to "call the month" b/c if she still wants it that month, but a diff day then that may kind of kill the month for me...I guess I''ll have to really think about it. It''s not like I dont have time

I just really like November...

 

[jaysonsmom]

I had a friend that got married a week before me, and even though we weren''t best friends, she postponed her honeymoon just so that she could attend my wedding, I thought that was so sweet. But you HAVE to take that into consideration.

 

[njc]

I say go for it! One of my good friends and I got married 3 weeks apart and we were bridesmaids for each other. She picked the date first (which was the one i actually had in mind for months, but she got engaged first!) so we picked our date based on that we wanted a 2 week honeymoon and needed to be back in time for hers. We ended up not taking the honeymoon until after her wedding for various reasons, but the time at home right after the wedding was wonderful... i highly recommend at least a couple day delay before you leave!

It was great to have someone to bounce ideas off of and vent to. We poured through bridal mags together over lunch, helped with those etiquette questions about addressing invitations etc. It was awesome to have a good friend to share with!

The one thing that did help us out a lot was picking dates (or at least giving a headsup on weekends, ex: my bach party is either going to be the 7th or 14th) *early* for showers and other parties. Now my friend went a little crazy and didnt really "consult" me first (long stupid story) and ended up planning her bachelorette party, out of town, the weekend BEFORE my wedding. The only good thing was it was a GREAT motivator for me to get things done early. We also had the understanding between us that neither was really going to be able to help out much, but would do what she could!

 

[larussel03]

Well I talked to my best friend today and I''m going to "reserve" the 17th of November and she''s going to reserve either the 3rd of November or the last Sat of October 2007 (prob depending on her honeymoon plans). Very exciting!!! We''ll have to talk about MOH''s though, if she feels it''d be too stressful for us to be each others MOH then we can pick someone else, but I still want to ask her first.