My dress is too short! HELP!

[mayerling]

You could save yourself endless turmoil if you just call the person that has your dress, have them get a tape measure, and measure it from top to bottom. Then you'll know exactly what you're working with! It just seems silly to get so worked up without actually knowing how long your dress is! If you find it's too short, THEN you can start thinking of options, but it's important to get a real measurement on YOUR specific dress from the person that has it right now, rather than just "about four feet".

I tried to do this but the person who has my dress was not able to get an accurate measurement. I feel like I've already imposed enough by asking them to pick it up for me, I don't want to keep insisting on an accurate measurement. Given that about 4 feet is enough to give me an indication that the dress is too short - it would have to be well over four feet to be long enough - I'm trying to figure out a way to salvage it, get them to exchange it for me, or possibly sell it on.

 

[Clairitek]

I think ETrillion explained it all well- where the measurements come from and how it is likely that your dress will be fine. To calm your fears, I would politely ask the holder of your gown (your MIL, right?) to find a tape measureme, hang the dress up so it falls straight, and measure it. If you're feeling pushy, just say "No rush! Whenever you get a chance, just to calm my worries." Otherwise youre going to continue to work yourself up, when you might not have to worry at all!

Is it possible for her to ship the gown to you or are you worried about paying duty? Where is the wedding? US or UK? The dress was ordered in the US, right?

 

[sonnyjane]

You could save yourself endless turmoil if you just call the person that has your dress, have them get a tape measure, and measure it from top to bottom. Then you'll know exactly what you're working with! It just seems silly to get so worked up without actually knowing how long your dress is! If you find it's too short, THEN you can start thinking of options, but it's important to get a real measurement on YOUR specific dress from the person that has it right now, rather than just "about four feet".

I tried to do this but the person who has my dress was not able to get an accurate measurement. I feel like I've already imposed enough by asking them to pick it up for me, I don't want to keep insisting on an accurate measurement. Given that about 4 feet is enough to give me an indication that the dress is too short - it would have to be well over four feet to be long enough - I'm trying to figure out a way to salvage it, get them to exchange it for me, or possibly sell it on.

Gosh, I'm sorry I just have to disagree! I don't think it's that much of an imposition, and I think it's rather important! I certainly wouldn't make a decision about paying extra for alterations or even selling it completely if you don't know how long it really is! "About four feet" just isn't accurate enough to make this decision or send you into a panic! I hope you change your mind about asking the holder of the dress to measure it.

 

[ETrillion]

ETrillion, I have an additional question: In your experience, is the norm for dresses to be made for a 5'9'' bride? That's what I was told. But now I'm thinking the consultant made a mistake and the norm is for dresses to be made for 5'6'' brides which is why the petite seems to be too short for me.

Hello again mayerling,
Your consultant was right. All designers make their dresses to fit a frame of about 5'9" (without heels). They make the dresses to fit the models and everyone else has to alter the dress to fit them the exact measurement varies between designers and dresses, but as a general rule, the dresses are made to fit taller girls.

And to answer another issue brought up, "petite" in the bridal and fashion world is not the same as the real world. I guess that when 5'9" is the standard, 5'6" is petite. In reality, "petite" is a subjective term and does not automatically have meaning.

 

[mayerling]

You could save yourself endless turmoil if you just call the person that has your dress, have them get a tape measure, and measure it from top to bottom. Then you'll know exactly what you're working with! It just seems silly to get so worked up without actually knowing how long your dress is! If you find it's too short, THEN you can start thinking of options, but it's important to get a real measurement on YOUR specific dress from the person that has it right now, rather than just "about four feet".

I tried to do this but the person who has my dress was not able to get an accurate measurement. I feel like I've already imposed enough by asking them to pick it up for me, I don't want to keep insisting on an accurate measurement. Given that about 4 feet is enough to give me an indication that the dress is too short - it would have to be well over four feet to be long enough - I'm trying to figure out a way to salvage it, get them to exchange it for me, or possibly sell it on.

Gosh, I'm sorry I just have to disagree! I don't think it's that much of an imposition, and I think it's rather important! I certainly wouldn't make a decision about paying extra for alterations or even selling it completely if you don't know how long it really is! "About four feet" just isn't accurate enough to make this decision or send you into a panic! I hope you change your mind about asking the holder of the dress to measure it.

Thank you all for your replies. Just to clarify, the reason I'm asking for advice is precisely because I don't intend to pay extra for alterations; I want to try and see whether they can do it for me since they messed up. And I don't intend to sell it sight unseen; I'm trying to figure out what my options are so I know how to proceed once I confirm that it is too short.

 

[mayerling]

ETrillion, I have an additional question: In your experience, is the norm for dresses to be made for a 5'9'' bride? That's what I was told. But now I'm thinking the consultant made a mistake and the norm is for dresses to be made for 5'6'' brides which is why the petite seems to be too short for me.

Hello again mayerling,
Your consultant was right. All designers make their dresses to fit a frame of about 5'9" (without heels). They make the dresses to fit the models and everyone else has to alter the dress to fit them the exact measurement varies between designers and dresses, but as a general rule, the dresses are made to fit taller girls.

And to answer another issue brought up, "petite" in the bridal and fashion world is not the same as the real world. I guess that when 5'9" is the standard, 5'6" is petite. In reality, "petite" is a subjective term and does not automatically have meaning.

Thanks ETrillion. Once again I'm confused, though. If she's right that the dress is normally made for a 5'9'' bride, how could a 53'' hollow-to-hem measurement work for a 5'6'' bride? (I know you probably already answered this when you said that it's 53'' from top of bodice to hem - I just wish somebody from the salon or the designer would confirm this is what they're referring to).

 

[mayerling]

I think ETrillion explained it all well- where the measurements come from and how it is likely that your dress will be fine. To calm your fears, I would politely ask the holder of your gown (your MIL, right?) to find a tape measureme, hang the dress up so it falls straight, and measure it. If you're feeling pushy, just say "No rush! Whenever you get a chance, just to calm my worries." Otherwise youre going to continue to work yourself up, when you might not have to worry at all!

Is it possible for her to ship the gown to you or are you worried about paying duty? Where is the wedding? US or UK? The dress was ordered in the US, right?

I'm not worried about the duty, and had originally considered having it shipped, but now that there's a problem I'd rather it stay in the US until I figure out how to handle things.

 

[ETrillion]

ETrillion, I have an additional question: In your experience, is the norm for dresses to be made for a 5'9'' bride? That's what I was told. But now I'm thinking the consultant made a mistake and the norm is for dresses to be made for 5'6'' brides which is why the petite seems to be too short for me.

Hello again mayerling,
Your consultant was right. All designers make their dresses to fit a frame of about 5'9" (without heels). They make the dresses to fit the models and everyone else has to alter the dress to fit them the exact measurement varies between designers and dresses, but as a general rule, the dresses are made to fit taller girls.

And to answer another issue brought up, "petite" in the bridal and fashion world is not the same as the real world. I guess that when 5'9" is the standard, 5'6" is petite. In reality, "petite" is a subjective term and does not automatically have meaning.

Thanks ETrillion. Once again I'm confused, though. If she's right that the dress is normally made for a 5'9'' bride, how could a 53'' hollow-to-hem measurement work for a 5'6'' bride? (I know you probably already answered this when you said that it's 53'' from top of bodice to hem - I just wish somebody from the salon or the designer would confirm this is what they're referring to).

No worries, mayerling. The 53" measurement for the petite cut is for a 5'6" bride with no heels on. So since you are 5'3" and plan on wearing hells (approx. 3") makes you then 5'6", and the dress will fall perfectly. So if a bride who is 5'6" wears a dress with a 53" measurement it will be the right length for her ONLY if she wears flats.

Hope that helps!!

 

[sillyberry]

FWIW, I am *terrible* at measuring things by eyeballing them. Weight, height...I always get it wrong. So unless you know this person to have a great eye, "about four feet" may not be all that instructive. I agree that it isn't too much of an imposition to ask for them to measure with a measuring tape. I would be happy to do that for someone I cared about, particularly to save them so much stress and anxiety!

 

[meresal]

I just had a BRILLIANT idea... I measured myself to give you some perspective.

I am just under 5-8. Holding the end of the measuring tape under my big toe, I pulled it up to the top of my bust (as in, a dress would show no cleavage at all, and I have 24DD so that adds some as well to mine) and it measure 53 inches.
This measurment I did only accounts for a very straight dress since I measured directly to the floor. The actual Neckline to Hem measurment would fall to the edge of the skirt, and however full it is will add more inches. However, considering I am 4 inches taller than you, it seems that you have room to add heels.

You are going to be fine if there are 53 inches.

Hope that helps a bit. Do you have a measuring tape... it is not that hard to do yourself. Obviously won't be exact but I think it will help ease your mind.

 

[mayerling]

I just had a BRILLIANT idea... I measured myself to give you some perspective.

I am just under 5-8. Holding the end of the measuring tape under my big toe, I pulled it up to the top of my bust (as in, a dress would show no cleavage at all, and I have 24DD so that adds some as well to mine) and it measure 53 inches.
This measurment I did only accounts for a very straight dress since I measured directly to the floor. The actual Neckline to Hem measurment would fall to the edge of the skirt, and however full it is will add more inches. However, considering I am 4 inches taller than you, it seems that you have room to add heels.

You are going to be fine if there are 53 inches.

Hope that helps a bit. Do you have a measuring tape... it is not that hard to do yourself. Obviously won't be exact but I think it will help ease your mind.

Thanks for trying Meresal. I'm sure that if the actual length of the dress is 53'' then I'll be fine. The problem is that I was told that it's 53'' from hollow-to-hem and I'm 52'' from hollow to hem.

Also, the person who picked it up for me did use a tape measure to measure it. It's just that the dress was lying on the bed and it was difficult to get an exact measurement. It measured at around 4 feet .

 

[mayerling]

Ok, I think I'm going to have the dress properly measured by either the store or a seamstress (given that the store is far away), and if and when it's confirmed that it's too short, I'm going to call and make a fuss, primarily because they made a mistake but also because I've been trying to get a hold of them over email for a week now and they never bothered to reply.

 

[meresal]

NM

Have you tried calling the studio to get ahold of the sales woman you ordered the dress from? Just so you know, this past weekend was a holiday (Labor Day) and they might have been really busy.
I'm not sticking up for them, I am just trying to give you ideas to ease your mind and get answers faster.

 

[mayerling]

NM

Have you tried calling the studio to get ahold of the sales woman you ordered the dress from? Just so you know, this past weekend was a holiday (Labor Day) and they might have been really busy.
I'm not sticking up for them, I am just trying to give you ideas to ease your mind and get answers faster.

No, I haven't called. I'm not very confrontational and thought it would be better to handle it over email (I wanted to have everything in writing as well). So I emailed on the 2nd and again on the 6th but have received nothing.

 

[OUpearlgirl]

I still think you should just relax about this situation. Etrillion explained it best-- I was waiting to go into that conversation until I had the time.

Let's say, at worst, it's too short. Your wedding is a year away. Should that happen, and I REALLY don't think that will be the case you need to go into the store, put the dress on, and explain the problem. The sooner you can do this, the better. If it is the stores fault then they absolutely should cover the costs and you should insist on it.

I still think you are freaking out. I understand you don't like confrontation, but since you seem so upset about this the best thing to do is pick up the phone.

 

[Dreamer_D]

Tough love here: you are making stress and trouble for yourself.

Solution 1: Tell the person who has the dress to measure it. No one can eye something and be accurate and "about four feet" is not a measurement.

Solution 2: call the store to confirm the length of the dress and the measurement method.

This is not confrontation, it is problem solving.

Right now you are just driving yourself in circles trying to solve a problem that may or may not even exist.

 

[FrekeChild]

Ditto Dreamer D. You are freaking yourself out.

Lets look at it this way. The company told you that the H2H measurement was 53 inches. The consultant said it was 56 inches. If you are 63 inches tall, and with 3 inch heels, you're around 65.5 inches tall. The H2H from the company is 53 inches (we're assuming that's to the top of the dress).

The H2H from the consultant is measuring at 56 inches (hollow of the throat), and your H2H is measuring at 52 inches (assuming you're measuring at the throat as well). Maybe it's just me, but it sounds to me like that's just about perfect, if not a bit too long?

IF it is 48 inches, then the company screwed up your order, and they need to rectify it.

At this point, you are panicking unnecessarily. You haven't tried on the dress, you haven't gotten an accurate measurement on the dress, and you're freaking out that it's wrong without getting all of the facts. Does the person who has the dress have access to someone who is between 5'3 and 5'6? They can hold the dress up to them and see where it hits them. Or get the dress and try it on yourself. If it is that big of a deal to you (and it certainly seems like it is) then have the person holding your dress ship it to you so you can have some peace of mind one way or the other.

You have a year. You have a (lovely) dress. You have plenty of time to fix this IF there is indeed a mistake. Take a deep breath and calm down.

Remember, wedding planning is supposed to be fun!

 

[mayerling]

Thanks, everyone, for trying to reassure me.

I've asked for a more accurate measurement and this time the dress measured 50'' from top of bodice to hem. I'm still not confident about the way it was measured, though.

FI helped me write a more forceful email to the company the other night and it actually prompted them to reply to me. So now I'm waiting for the production team to explain what they mean by 53'' hollow-to-hem. According to their size chart it's supposed to be 56'' H2H, so either they screwed up by making it 3 inches shorter, or the production team made a mistake and meant to say that the dress measures 53'' from top of bodice to hem - this is unlikely as I doubt the person measuring it for me would have been off by 3 inches.

 

[Winks_Elf]

Just an FYI, and to attempt to help you be a little more assured, I'm 5'9" tall. I just took a tape measure, and in bare feet 53" comes from just hovering above the floor (where a hem of a gown would hit) to the true hollow of my neck. I'm sure it will be just fine, but until you get to see the gown in person you'll be worrying about it. (((BIG HUG!)))

 

[mayerling]

Just an FYI, and to attempt to help you be a little more assured, I'm 5'9" tall. I just took a tape measure, and in bare feet 53" comes from just hovering above the floor (where a hem of a gown would hit) to the true hollow of my neck. I'm sure it will be just fine, but until you get to see the gown in person you'll be worrying about it. (((BIG HUG!)))

Thanks for trying to reassure me Winks. I'm still confused, though. I'm 5'3'' and definitely measure 52'' from hollow to hem.

 

[slg47]

I think it depends on how poofy your dress is (if that makes sense)

Hollow-to-hem is a specific length measurement used for bridal gowns only. Some designers offer the option to have a gown cut to a particular length for certain bridal gown designs. This is a difficult measurement to take. Fortunately, it is not needed for bridesmaid dresses, and only needed for a few bridal gowns. If the bridal gown you are ordering requires this measurement, we strongly recommend using a professional seamstress experienced with bridal gowns.

The hollow-to-hem measurement is taken from the depression at the base of the neck just above the collarbone to the hem. When taking this measurement, you will need to account for the fullness of an A-line or full-skirt gown by moving the tape forward away from the body, at the hem. The tape should be pulled out according to the fullness of the skirt. You will need to take the measurement with the exact heel height you will be wearing. Standard hollow-to-hem typically is 58 inches although it varies between designers.

 

[doodle]

I seriously think you need to either ask that the dress be shipped to you or ask that someone the same height try it on for you. You're asking a company to rectify what could be a completely nonexistent issue, and IMO, it's unfair to take up their time having to deal with your uncertainty. As of yet, your only complaint is that you think you might have something to complain about in the future, but you don't know yet. Save your sanity and find out already. Ultimately, I say this because I'm selfish and want to see shoe-shopping pictures.

 

[mayerling]

I seriously think you need to either ask that the dress be shipped to you or ask that someone the same height try it on for you. You're asking a company to rectify what could be a completely nonexistent issue, and IMO, it's unfair to take up their time having to deal with your uncertainty. As of yet, your only complaint is that you think you might have something to complain about in the future, but you don't know yet. Save your sanity and find out already. Ultimately, I say this because I'm selfish and want to see shoe-shopping pictures.

Thanks for the advice, doodle.

Unfortunately, nobody the same height as me is where the dress is. As for it being shipped, it seems a bit silly to do that if I end up having to return it to be fixed.

Also, the main reason I'm worried is not because I was told the dress is about 4 feet long - that's just what arose my suspicions. I'm worried because the factory said they made the dress with a 53'' H2H measurement, even though they were supposed to make it with a 56'' H2H measurement. They said this 2 weeks ago and I'm still waiting for them to clarify whether what they said was just a typo and they meant to say 56'' or whether they made a mistake and produced a dress shorter than what I ordered.

 

[meresal]

Mayerling...

When were you planning on coming back to the states to try on the dress? How long will that be before the wedding?

 

[mayerling]

Mayerling...

When were you planning on coming back to the states to try on the dress? How long will that be before the wedding?

The wedding isn't for another year. I wasn't originally planning on coming back; FI was going to be back for the holidays and he'd bring it back to me. Now, I'm thinking of going with him to the US for the holidays so I can bring it back myself. But if there's something wrong with it, I want it to be fixed in time for me to pick it up all fixed up in December.

 

[lucyandroger]

Mayerling...

When were you planning on coming back to the states to try on the dress? How long will that be before the wedding?

The wedding isn't for another year. I wasn't originally planning on coming back; FI was going to be back for the holidays and he'd bring it back to me. Now, I'm thinking of going with him to the US for the holidays so I can bring it back myself. But if there's something wrong with it, I want it to be fixed in time for me to pick it up all fixed up in December.

How much would shipping the dress to you cost? It must be cheaper than a flight to the US, right? Even if you have to ship the dress back to the US because something is wrong with it...

 

[mayerling]

Mayerling...

When were you planning on coming back to the states to try on the dress? How long will that be before the wedding?

The wedding isn't for another year. I wasn't originally planning on coming back; FI was going to be back for the holidays and he'd bring it back to me. Now, I'm thinking of going with him to the US for the holidays so I can bring it back myself. But if there's something wrong with it, I want it to be fixed in time for me to pick it up all fixed up in December.

How much would shipping the dress to you cost? It must be cheaper than a flight to the US, right? Even if you have to ship the dress back to the US because something is wrong with it...

That's probably true. But waiting to ship it over to find out if there's something wrong with it, and shipping it back to be fixed means that FI won't be able to pick it up when he's over there for the holidays. I think they take 3 months to produce the dresses. 3 months from now would barely be enough time for them to fix it in time for the holidays.

 

[lucyandroger]

hmmmm...I get what you're saying. I just don't think a company is going to agree to completely remake a dress without you actually trying it on and proving it is the wrong length.

Could you have the friend that picked up the dress bring it back to the bridal salon? They are experts on this and the company would most likely listen to them if they agree that the dress was made incorrectly. In fact, shouldn't they be contacting the dress company instead of you?

 

[mayerling]

hmmmm...I get what you're saying. I just don't think a company is going to agree to completely remake a dress without you actually trying it on and proving it is the wrong length.

Could you have the friend that picked up the dress bring it back to the bridal salon? They are experts on this and the company would most likely listen to them if they agree that the dress was made incorrectly. In fact, shouldn't they be contacting the dress company instead of you?

I'm not sure I understand why they wouldn't agree to change it. They said they made it with a H2H measurement of 53'' even though I paid for 56''. Why would it matter whether I try it on or not?

 

[lucyandroger]

hmmmm...I get what you're saying. I just don't think a company is going to agree to completely remake a dress without you actually trying it on and proving it is the wrong length.

Could you have the friend that picked up the dress bring it back to the bridal salon? They are experts on this and the company would most likely listen to them if they agree that the dress was made incorrectly. In fact, shouldn't they be contacting the dress company instead of you?

I'm not sure I understand why they wouldn't agree to change it. They said they made it with a H2H measurement of 53'' even though I paid for 56''. Why would it matter whether I try it on or not?

Oh, sure...if they agree that they made it the wrong length, then I imagine it would be straightforward.