my fiance''s sooo sweet...to get the 3 ct. stone...the poor resident.......

[k2aimeroo]

hi everyone again!!!!

I think you people are the sweeetest on earth!! Everyone has given me nicer compliments than my own friends have!! I just wanted to appreciate my fiance and I love all the comments everyone has made about how sweet he is... He wanted the big 3 carat...didn''t really realize how pricey diamonds are..but was determined. What you guys don''t know...and you''re fiances and husbands may kill me for this... he is a 29 year old "poor resident" He is not a rich CEO that has cash to burn. He works other jobs moonlighting to make extra $$ as his residency pays little for the long hours he works. Granted, in a few years he will make excellent money as a practicing doctor but for now, he does not. He refinanced the condo, as it is worth more than he paid when he bought it and took out a loan to get the ring. He could have done anything else with the money...but he wanted me to have a ring that never needed to be upgraded when he was making real money..... I am a lucky girl!!
I also am getting a real kick out of the threads that talk about upgrade and shrinking diamond syndromes....he already thinks it looks smaller than it originally did...we were engaged a few months ago!!! He is competitive with the other guys and their girls'' rings for sure... so ladies, sometimes its the MAN''S EGOs that help our love for bigger-better diamonds!!!! ''

Cheers to bling and the men that we love so much and that love us!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
your friend,
Amy

 

[door knob solitaire]

I soo agree...he is SOOOO sweet!

I have to tell you DSS hasn''t sunk in yet for me...where your HUNK is concerned. It is huge in competition or not! Especially on your delicate little hand.

Spread some more sweetness our way...in the form of more photos!!!

 

[k2aimeroo]

check out the photos in the "I love my ring and my fiance" thread... ok girls....out to meet my honey for dinner and cocktails!!! Have a a great night!!!

 

[guylian]

residency is tough. crazy hours coupled with madness plus sleep deprivation. he practically lives at the hospital i bet!

awww, but your honey is sweet for making ends meet to get what he wanted for you.

CONGRATULATIONS and CHEERS!

ps: you''re lucky to get a night out with your resident, especially on a weekday!

 

[Diamond*Dana]

How very sweet of him and it is a beautiful ring!

 

[NewEnglandLady]

Okay, okay, I know I''m going to sound like the wicked witch of the west here, but your boyfriend took out a home equity loan to pay for the ring?? And he works moonlighting jobs while also being a resident and working 18 - 24 hour shifts (is it even safe to have an extra job??) to pay the bills. Please don''t get me wrong, your ring is beautiful, but if my boyfriend said "I want you to have a 3 carat ring and I''m going to take out a home equity loan to pay for it" I think I''d punch him, haha. I think it''s great that he wants you to have a nice ring, but I can''t help but think the way he went about it isn''t such a good financial decision, I take it that you''re okay with it? I know he''ll be making quite a bit more in a few years, but he definitely does not now.

Again, it''s a beautiful ring, but reading about it made my heart a bit pained.

 

[Brilyant]

Date: 2/7/2008 11:11:53 PM
Author: NewEnglandLady
Okay, okay, I know I''m going to sound like the wicked witch of the west here, but your boyfriend took out a home equity loan to pay for the ring?? And he works moonlighting jobs while also being a resident and working 18 - 24 hour shifts (is it even safe to have an extra job??) to pay the bills. Please don''t get me wrong, your ring is beautiful, but if my boyfriend said ''I want you to have a 3 carat ring and I''m going to take out a home equity loan to pay for it'' I think I''d punch him, haha. I think it''s great that he wants you to have a nice ring, but I can''t help but think the way he went about it isn''t such a good financial decision, I take it that you''re okay with it? I know he''ll be making quite a bit more in a few years, but he definitely does not now.


Again, it''s a beautiful ring, but reading about it made my heart a bit pained.

I am 110% with you.

 

[zhuzhu]

Date: 2/8/2008 1:56:18 AM
Author: Brilyant

Date: 2/7/2008 11:11:53 PM

Author: NewEnglandLady

Okay, okay, I know I''m going to sound like the wicked witch of the west here, but your boyfriend took out a home equity loan to pay for the ring?? And he works moonlighting jobs while also being a resident and working 18 - 24 hour shifts (is it even safe to have an extra job??) to pay the bills. Please don''t get me wrong, your ring is beautiful, but if my boyfriend said ''I want you to have a 3 carat ring and I''m going to take out a home equity loan to pay for it'' I think I''d punch him, haha. I think it''s great that he wants you to have a nice ring, but I can''t help but think the way he went about it isn''t such a good financial decision, I take it that you''re okay with it? I know he''ll be making quite a bit more in a few years, but he definitely does not now.



Again, it''s a beautiful ring, but reading about it made my heart a bit pained.

I am 110% with you.

I am with you too....

 

[Phoenix]

Date: 2/8/2008 2:47:11 AM
Author: zhuzhu

Date: 2/8/2008 1:56:18 AM
Author: Brilyant

Date: 2/7/2008 11:11:53 PM

Author: NewEnglandLady

Okay, okay, I know I'm going to sound like the wicked witch of the west here, but your boyfriend took out a home equity loan to pay for the ring?? And he works moonlighting jobs while also being a resident and working 18 - 24 hour shifts (is it even safe to have an extra job??) to pay the bills. Please don't get me wrong, your ring is beautiful, but if my boyfriend said 'I want you to have a 3 carat ring and I'm going to take out a home equity loan to pay for it' I think I'd punch him, haha. I think it's great that he wants you to have a nice ring, but I can't help but think the way he went about it isn't such a good financial decision, I take it that you're okay with it? I know he'll be making quite a bit more in a few years, but he definitely does not now.



Again, it's a beautiful ring, but reading about it made my heart a bit pained.

I am 110% with you.

I am with you too....

I'm sorry but me three...I hope I don't sound like a hypocrite, since my DH has bought me quite a few pieces of jewellery but he only did so in the past few years. When we first got engaged, even though I was already on an expat package and my DH was already working as a lawyer, he bought me a 1ct e-ring and a pair of 0.80tcwt studs for not a lot of money (well, it was enough spending for him at the time - but he took it out of his savings). I LOVED them and he had no problem with me not having bigger diamonds and neither did I. We never even as much as looked at jewellery for several more years. If he'd said he was going to work extra hours AND take out a loan to get me a bigger e-ring, I'd definitely have said no and I would have wondered about his financial decision-making ability. I'm sorry to sound harsh, but the two of you are going to be joined together, in more ways than one, and you'll have to make wiser financial decisions than that.

 

[ang3199]

Date: 2/8/2008 6:24:58 AM
Author: Phoenix

Date: 2/8/2008 2:47:11 AM

Author: zhuzhu

Date: 2/8/2008 1:56:18 AM

Author: Brilyant

Date: 2/7/2008 11:11:53 PM


Author: NewEnglandLady


Okay, okay, I know I'm going to sound like the wicked witch of the west here, but your boyfriend took out a home equity loan to pay for the ring?? And he works moonlighting jobs while also being a resident and working 18 - 24 hour shifts (is it even safe to have an extra job??) to pay the bills. Please don't get me wrong, your ring is beautiful, but if my boyfriend said 'I want you to have a 3 carat ring and I'm going to take out a home equity loan to pay for it' I think I'd punch him, haha. I think it's great that he wants you to have a nice ring, but I can't help but think the way he went about it isn't such a good financial decision, I take it that you're okay with it? I know he'll be making quite a bit more in a few years, but he definitely does not now.




Again, it's a beautiful ring, but reading about it made my heart a bit pained.

I am 110% with you.

I am with you too....

I'm sorry but me three...I hope I don't sound like a hypocrite, since my DH has bought me quite a few pieces of jewellery but he only did so in the past few years. When we first got engaged, even though I was already on an expat package and my DH was already working as a lawyer, he bought me a 1ct e-ring and a pair of 0.80tcwt studs for not a lot of money (well, it was enough spending for him at the time - but he took it out of his savings). I LOVED them and he had no problem with me not having bigger diamonds and neither did I. We never even as much as looked at jewellery for several more years. If he'd said he was going to work extra hours AND take out a loan to get me a bigger e-ring, I'd definitely have said no and I would have wondered about his financial decision-making ability. I'm sorry to sound harsh, but the two of you are going to be joined together, in more ways than one, and you'll have to make wiser financial decisions than that.

I agree with you ladies as well, I just didn't want to be the big b*tch bringing it up.

While it is a gorgeous ring and congrats, I was also a bit pained reading about the home equity loan. And he competes with other guys and their fiance's rings? Huh?

 

[icekid]

haha, sorry Amy... but I have to agree. My husband would have words for me if I told him I planned to work extra hours moonlighting so I could buy a new big diamond. Save for a house? Maybe! You will find that people here do not believe in financing diamonds, which are a luxury purchase. Not to mention 3 cts! It''s just not financially smart to spend money you don''t have, nor money that you THINK you will have in the future.

Who said that doctors are terrible with money?

But anyway, what''s done is done and your ring certainly is lovely. Hope you enjoy it!

 

[bee*]

NEL I totally agree with you! Your ring is beautiful but I would have killed D if he had done that!

 

[k2aimeroo]

well! I guess that does sound crazy in a way... believe me -- it is not really like that. I don''t feel like I need to explain, but just trust me. He gets plenty of sleep and his moonlighting job is the cushiest around...he sleeps, studies, etc. His residency is also pretty cushy. We do not struggle financially...but I REALLY do appreciate the honesty of everyone and their concern. My fiance is the most anal person and financially-secure person...who over analyzes everything he does, especially with money (and now that we''re planning the wedding....) He would never make a decision that he was not comfortable with - and he has a lot of help too!!!!!!!

 

[steph72276]

Well, it is a very beautiful ring. Congrats on your engagement!

 

[NewEnglandLady]

So long as you two are both fine with it, then I''m happy for you. Phoenix eloquently said what I was trying to say in that his financial decisions will significantly affect both of you and that you should be able to have a say in the ring if you think he''s going too far. It sounds like you''ve both discussed it and you are okay with the loan, so I hope you wear the ring in good health!

 

[LegacyGirl]

Date: 2/8/2008 6:59:50 AM
Author: ang3199

Date: 2/8/2008 6:24:58 AM
Author: Phoenix

Date: 2/8/2008 2:47:11 AM

Author: zhuzhu

Date: 2/8/2008 1:56:18 AM

Author: Brilyant

Date: 2/7/2008 11:11:53 PM


Author: NewEnglandLady


Okay, okay, I know I''m going to sound like the wicked witch of the west here, but your boyfriend took out a home equity loan to pay for the ring?? And he works moonlighting jobs while also being a resident and working 18 - 24 hour shifts (is it even safe to have an extra job??) to pay the bills. Please don''t get me wrong, your ring is beautiful, but if my boyfriend said ''I want you to have a 3 carat ring and I''m going to take out a home equity loan to pay for it'' I think I''d punch him, haha. I think it''s great that he wants you to have a nice ring, but I can''t help but think the way he went about it isn''t such a good financial decision, I take it that you''re okay with it? I know he''ll be making quite a bit more in a few years, but he definitely does not now.




Again, it''s a beautiful ring, but reading about it made my heart a bit pained.

I am 110% with you.

I am with you too....

I''m sorry but me three...I hope I don''t sound like a hypocrite, since my DH has bought me quite a few pieces of jewellery but he only did so in the past few years. When we first got engaged, even though I was already on an expat package and my DH was already working as a lawyer, he bought me a 1ct e-ring and a pair of 0.80tcwt studs for not a lot of money (well, it was enough spending for him at the time - but he took it out of his savings). I LOVED them and he had no problem with me not having bigger diamonds and neither did I. We never even as much as looked at jewellery for several more years. If he''d said he was going to work extra hours AND take out a loan to get me a bigger e-ring, I''d definitely have said no and I would have wondered about his financial decision-making ability. I''m sorry to sound harsh, but the two of you are going to be joined together, in more ways than one, and you''ll have to make wiser financial decisions than that.

I agree with you ladies as well, I just didn''t want to be the big b*tch bringing it up.

While it is a gorgeous ring and congrats, I was also a bit pained reading about the home equity loan. And he competes with other guys and their fiance''s rings? Huh?

Thank goodness I wasn''t the only one!

Mine would be dead if he did that. I''m totally for buying within your means. To risk losing a home over a ring is just insane to me. You can always upgrade in the future, there is no need to put yourselves into debt so soon into your lives.

 

[Italiahaircolor]

^^ Whew, thank God I wasnt the only one thinking all that was stated above.

I couldn''t imagine being a resident (my father is a doctor and has shared with me his experience) and moonlighting to pay for a freakin'' diamond! Actually, I am all about big beautiful rings...but taking a home equity loan...esspecially in this housing market???? Never ever, no way!

I wish you the best of luck as you proceed in life...

 

[motownmama]

It''s a really beautiful and classic ring - you will love it forever. Just don''t try to "keep up with the Jonses" and you''ll be fine. ENJOY your ring!!

 

[guylian]

PRIDE - it costs alot.

 

[TravelingGal]

OK gals, she didn''t come here to be judged...the deed is done. SMTR is for showing bling! At least he''s a future doc doing stuff like that and not a (insert low paid wage earner here). And it IS a lovely ring.

However, I would agree with one thing...beware the man''s ego. Sometimes it gets you a nicer ring that you hoped for. Other times, it gets you nothing but massive headaches. There are just SO many ways one can try to keep up with the joneses....

 

[diamondseeker2006]

I think it was totally and completely 100% fine for him to borrow to buy that ring!!! His income will be such that he can easily pay back the home equity loan, and I really support the idea of getting the ring now that you''ll be proud to wear in the social circles you will soon be in rather than getting a small stone now and changing it later! I do understand that some people are sentimental and do not want to upgrade later.

Doctors borrow all the time to go to med school knowing they will have the money to pay back the loans. Borrowing is only irresponsible if it puts you into long term debt or if you do not have the income to make the payments. There''s nothing wrong with him borrowing in this situation when he knows he''ll have the income to pay off the ring once he is in practice.

The extra work is another issue, and that is certainly between the two of you whether he can handle that on top of residency.
I"m sorry you got some negative reactions regarding borrowing money. I have sympathy because we got engaged while my husband was still in college, and he borrowed the money from his Dad to get my 1 ct. diamond. He very easily paid it back the first year after graduation. We have now been married 31 years and are completely debt free (as in house and cars paid for), so it did not hurt us a bit! So I don''t see a big deal when you know you''ll soon have the money to pay it off!

 

[MichelleCarmen]

Beautiful ring. Congratulations.

To those who chose to lecture: It''s not really your business to judge. Sorry, but that is my opinion. The comments seem to be siding on rudeness. This is a diamond board, not a financial investing board!!!

 

[Imdanny]

Amy, do you have stats?

 

[icekid]

Date: 2/8/2008 11:58:10 AM
Author: diamondseeker2006
I think it was totally and completely 100% fine for him to borrow to buy that ring!!! His income will be such that he can easily pay back the home equity loan, and I really support the idea of getting the ring now that you''ll be proud to wear in the social circles you will soon be in rather than getting a small stone now and changing it later! I do understand that some people are sentimental and do not want to upgrade later.

Doctors borrow all the time to go to med school knowing they will have the money to pay back the loans. Borrowing is only irresponsible if it puts you into long term debt or if you do not have the income to make the payments. There''s nothing wrong with him borrowing in this situation when he knows he''ll have the income to pay off the ring once he is in practice.

The extra work is another issue, and that is certainly between the two of you whether he can handle that on top of residency.
I''m sorry you got some negative reactions regarding borrowing money. I have sympathy because we got engaged while my husband was still in college, and he borrowed the money from his Dad to get my 1 ct. diamond. He very easily paid it back the first year after graduation. We have now been married 31 years and are completely debt free (as in house and cars paid for), so it did not hurt us a bit! So I don''t see a big deal when you know you''ll soon have the money to pay it off!

I''m pretty surprised that you think this way. I will be a fully-trained doc in 4 years, and certainly do not currently spend like I''m already making real money. You never know what will happen! not to be morbid, but who is to say I will not become sick and never practice? And now, given the serious talk about universal healthcare doctors may take a serious hit to the amount of money they make. Physicians already make far less than they used to. In addition, most physicians these days have crazy school loans, MANY of my classmates (me too!) have $250,000! in loans. Believe me, that amounts to some serious monthly payments. Not really a great idea to add to your debt if you can avoid it. A wise mentor advised if you live like a prince as a medical student/ resident, you''ll live like a pauper when you''re an attending.

Anyway, I truly hope k2aimeroo loves and enjoys her ring forever! And that she and her fiance never run into financial trouble either. We all have our priorities and having different ones does not make them wrong

 

[Kaleigh]

What a gorgeous stone, and the setting is lovely. Can you tell us about the setting?? Congrats on your engagement.

 

[lumpkin]

I love the graduated baguettes on the setting. The diamond is just beautiful.

 

[golden]

Congratulations on your engagement!!! And it's gorgeous!!!

 

[Linda W]

Congratulations on your engagement. Your ring is soooo beautiful. It looks gorgeous on your hand

Wear it with pride.

Linda

 

[surfgirl]

Date: 2/8/2008 10:28:57 AM
Author: LegacyGirl

Date: 2/8/2008 6:59:50 AM

Author: ang3199

Date: 2/8/2008 6:24:58 AM

Author: Phoenix

Date: 2/8/2008 2:47:11 AM


Author: zhuzhu

Date: 2/8/2008 1:56:18 AM


Author: Brilyant

Date: 2/7/2008 11:11:53 PM



Author: NewEnglandLady



Okay, okay, I know I'm going to sound like the wicked witch of the west here, but your boyfriend took out a home equity loan to pay for the ring?? And he works moonlighting jobs while also being a resident and working 18 - 24 hour shifts (is it even safe to have an extra job??) to pay the bills. Please don't get me wrong, your ring is beautiful, but if my boyfriend said 'I want you to have a 3 carat ring and I'm going to take out a home equity loan to pay for it' I think I'd punch him, haha. I think it's great that he wants you to have a nice ring, but I can't help but think the way he went about it isn't such a good financial decision, I take it that you're okay with it? I know he'll be making quite a bit more in a few years, but he definitely does not now.





Again, it's a beautiful ring, but reading about it made my heart a bit pained.

I am 110% with you.

I am with you too....

I'm sorry but me three...I hope I don't sound like a hypocrite, since my DH has bought me quite a few pieces of jewellery but he only did so in the past few years. When we first got engaged, even though I was already on an expat package and my DH was already working as a lawyer, he bought me a 1ct e-ring and a pair of 0.80tcwt studs for not a lot of money (well, it was enough spending for him at the time - but he took it out of his savings). I LOVED them and he had no problem with me not having bigger diamonds and neither did I. We never even as much as looked at jewellery for several more years. If he'd said he was going to work extra hours AND take out a loan to get me a bigger e-ring, I'd definitely have said no and I would have wondered about his financial decision-making ability. I'm sorry to sound harsh, but the two of you are going to be joined together, in more ways than one, and you'll have to make wiser financial decisions than that.

I agree with you ladies as well, I just didn't want to be the big b*tch bringing it up.


While it is a gorgeous ring and congrats, I was also a bit pained reading about the home equity loan. And he competes with other guys and their fiance's rings? Huh?

Thank goodness I wasn't the only one!


Mine would be dead if he did that. I'm totally for buying within your means. To risk losing a home over a ring is just insane to me. You can always upgrade in the future, there is no need to put yourselves into debt so soon into your lives.

And here I thought I was the only b#*chy one who was thinking 'huh?!?' Add me to that list too.

K2, congrats on your engagement and wear your lovely ering in good health!

That said, it might seem like PS condones getting the ring "by whatever means necessary", but that's not really the case. The majority of us would NEVER promote or encourage anyone, particularly the men here, to overextend themselves over an ering. I think the common guide is one should get what one can afford now - meaning pay cash, not credit. If you cant pay for it in full, then you cant "afford" it. I say this because I would hate for some guy to read this thread and think we all condone getting a ring that is outside one's financial means. I also hope that your FI can get over being in competition with his social circle over what he gives you. To me, that's not really a healthy thing. There are so many "gifts" that dont cost a thing and are far more valuable than an overtly expensive bauble. Just my two cents.

ETA: diamondseeker, with all due respect, borrowing from one's Dad vs. borrowing off a home equity loan are two very different things aren't they? I dont think that's a fair comparison. And while I know that K2 came here looking for agreement, sorry, but the overextending combined with taking on extra jobs when one is already maxed out on a medical residency program (think how horrible it would be to make a life threatening mistake on one's rounds because one is exhausted working multiple extra jobs to pay for a ring?!?) combined with the drive/need to keep up with the Joneses? That doesn't sound like a recipe for a health financial future, doctor or not.

 

[jng2b]

Well, she kind of asked for it by posting about exactly how they were able to afford the ring. Those are the kinds of details one should keep to themself.

Honestly, I would feel HORRIBLE if my FI was working a second job and took out a loan on his house to pay for a 3ct ring, just because I want to have big rings like everyone else! I would be horrified! I would refuse the ring and insist on something within our means. And even though everyone keeps saying, "Well, we don't know their financial situtation," we know that they cannot afford the ring! Otherwise they wouldn't take out a loan for it against their house! This is just the craziest thing I've heard in a long time.