My looong talk with my sister... and her answer

[KimberlyH]

I am just so thrilled for you, anchor!! This is fantastic news. Relish in it.

 

[krockie]

I''m so glad for you, and for her, too. It sounds like she''s taking a big step for herself right now, and that will be so important for her future. But finally, she''s letting you in which is even better. Whew.

 

[Maisie]

That is such wonderful news - I am so happy things are being resolved.

My sister is two years younger than me. She was married at 17 to a very abusive man. (We didn''t know until after they divorced that he had been beating her very frequently for most of the marriage).

After they split up I felt really responsible for her. I needed to look after her and I felt I did a very good job. She relied on me and I really liked that. I thought it might make up for the years when she was afraid and in pain and we didn''t help her. (not that we could as we didn''t know about it).

She met a new man a couple of years ago. Not only did she agree to marry him after just a year - she also decided to move 300 miles away. This devastated me and I got really annoyed with her and the situation. I got myself so stressed out and I begrudged her the time she spent with him and I would be mad with her if he called or text her while she was with me.

On her wedding day I watched her walk up the aisle. She looked so happy. She looked amazingly beautiful and the way he looked at her really blew me away. I realised I had to hand responsibility of my little sister to someone else.

I''m not saying its normal the way I felt when I was looking out for her - or my reactions when she met her hubby - But I can sort of see where your sister is coming from. A bit of distance will do you both the world of good and when she comes back you can have a normal sister relationship. I am sure you will both be happy with this shift in balance.

Good luck!!

 

[FireGoddess]

Date: 5/17/2007 7:46:34 PM
Author: onedrop
GREAT news!!! This is a clear example of how communication can change things. I am so happy for you Anchor. In the end you *could* have had your wedding without your sister, but there would always be regrets I am sure. Luckily, you don''t have to worry about that because you two seem to have ironed everything out. Good for you!!!

I agree. Her feelings are valid, but it didn''t help anyone, including herself, to keep them pent up and lash out at people instead.

I hope, now that she has agreed, that she will begin to let go of this and be a true friend and sister again.

Good luck!

 

[firebirdgold]

 

[sumbride]

So happy to hear this positive resolution!!! She has definitely had a lot of turmoil, but it sounds like she finally figured a few things out, and I''m glad you have your sister back!!!

 

[anchor31]

I don''t have time to answer everyone right now, but thank you, all of you!

 

[Mara]

congrats anchor on working through a difficult situation...and ending up with a stronger and more communicative sister and a MOH to boot! hopefully your sis can ''find herself'' while she is away and come back a better and happier person. and you guys will all be fine without her, which will probably also show her that it''s okay to think of herself sometimes as well.

in any case, how draining this must have all been for you and your family. go out and celebrate!

 

[akw94]

Anchor, I''m so happy to hear that things are better. It''s great that you two are happy and have come to a resolution that makes you both feel good. I''m glad she was smiling!