My mom''s MOB dress? What do you think?

[Independent Gal]

My mom is smitten with this dress for WP 2 and asked what I think and if I have any reservations. I felt a pang of 'huh?' But I can't figure out why. What do you guys think of this dress, keeping in mind mine, etc. (I can repost pics if that helps).

 

[Sha]

I think it looks a bit 'fancy' for a MOB dress. I think that her dress should be more understated, so as not to take any attention away from you and your splendour on that day.

Edited: is that a shawl or a train thingy?

 

[surfgirl]

My mother did something similar for my sister''s big wedding bash. Except the bodice was white off shoulder with a HUGE ballgown skirt. I thought it was totally inappropriate and I feel similarly for your mother''s suggested dress. It feels like she''s trying to upstage you and that bugs me. She should wear, IMO, something way more understated. Can you go shopping with her so you can guide her a bit? I would feel like you feel, if it was me...Too "LOOK AT ME!" and the MOB shouldn''t be taking away from her own daughter, IMO...

 

[KimberlyH]

It's definitely not typical MOB, but it is gorgeous...you'll have to decide if you're okay with it being a bit over the top for an MOB outfit. I have a slightly skewed perspective of what is and is not acceptable (at least by some peoples' account). My belief is that no matter what your mom wears everyone will still know you're the bride and you and your FI will still be the center of attention. I wanted my mom to feel beautiful on my wedding day, she choose to wear a whit dress and I was a-okay with that. But if it's really gonna bug you I'd say something.

 

[swingirl]

It depends on the formality of the wedding, what the groom's mother is wearing, what the BMs are wearing, and of course your dress. Don't worry, your mother WON"T look like a 20 year old model. Without knowing what your mother looks like (and no offense to women here in their 40s-50s) most women can't pull off the whole strapless thing once their arms look their age.

Although the style is not your typical subdued MOH is must mean something to your mother to want to wear it. It doesn't look very confortable either, not for sitting or breathing! Has she actually tried it on?

 

[robbie3982]

I think it''s beautiful, but I don''t know that it would look so great next to your dress. Can you post them together?

 

[blushingbride]

I have to agree with some of the previous posts that this dress might take away from you and your dress. It''s beautiful, don''t get me wrong, but probably a bit much for your mom to wear at your wedding.

 

[surfgirl]

Date: 9/19/2007 10:39:16 AM
Author: swingirl
It depends on the formality of the wedding, what the groom''s mother is wearing, what the BMs are wearing, and of course your dress. Don''t worry, your mother WON''T look like a 20 year old model. Without knowing what your mother looks like (and no offense to women here in their 40s-50s) most women can''t pull off the whole strapless thing once their arms look their age.

Although the style is not your typical subdued MOH is must mean something to your mother to want to wear it. It doesn''t look very confortable either, not for sitting or breathing! Has she actually tried it on?

Ha! And no offense taken!

 

[lyra]

As I fall into MOB age range, I was expecting to see something a bit more, uhm, conservative perhaps? No offense to your mother, but wow, that dress seems a bit too flashy and inappropriate for a MOB ensemble.

 

[FireGoddess]

WHOA!

It is a stunning dress but quite, uh, attention commanding...much moreso than I would find okay for a MOB dress. Not that the woman should be wearing a potato sack, but...that dress seems a little too fancy.

 

[basil]

Actually, I think it''s a pretty dress.

If that''s your mom''s typical style and she can carry it off, then people might be expecting it.

Otherwise, it''s kind of an...interesting...choice!

 

[FireGoddess]

It''s too late for me to edit so I''ll post again - I don''t remember what your dress looks like - how formal is your wedding? If it''s pretty formal, that dress could fit in well.

 

[fleur-de-lis]

If your mom is a 23 year old Pakistani-American, she''ll look beautiful.

Nah, in all seriousness, it''s a very pretty dress, but it seems both pretty ornate and in a bold color; it looks like an western dress that is inspired a bit by the sari. I suppose it would also depend on the spirit and decor of the wedding and reception whether it would work or not. Can you repost the picture of your dress? What, again, is your venue going to be, and do you have photos/weblink to it?

(Of course, it could be argued that if your mom is absolutely smitten with the dress, you should let her wear it even if it borders on being inappropriate. She''s not wearing white. It''s a big day for her as well and she could just be giving in to her feelings of joy and complete celebration at the marriage of her daughter. If it makes her feel like a queen who is gently in the background while you still look like a beautiful young princess, it could be argued, why not?)

 

[april diamonds]

IMO it''s a pretty dress but I probably wouldn''t have chosen it.

BUT (I think I''m disagreeing with most people?) I don''t think it''s that inappropriate. It looks nothing like your (or any) wedding dress really. (assuming she''s not getting it in white or ivory). I think that if your mom really loves the dress you should just let her wear it. You are going to look so fantastic anyway that it won''t matter what anyone else is wearing.

This is just my opinion, but I think the MOB should be able to shine too. I find it a wonderful celebration of generations almost, seeing your child get married has to be soooo exciting. My mother is taking me to get my Chinese dress made, that I will change into after the ceremony and I encouraged her to get two dresses so she could change too (like she did for my sisters'' weddings). I''m happy that she''s taking so much pride in it and wanting to look her best. Just my 2cents!

 

[Maisie]

I think its a lovely dress, and I agree with fleur-de-lis that it reminds me of a sari.

I also think its a little bit over the top for a MOB but if thats how she would normally dress people probably won''t think anything.

I remember your wedding dress and I don''t think they would compliment each other.

 

[Miscka]

OK so I have been thinking about this, and I agree that it won''t complement your dress very well. I feel like it will make your dress look really unstructured. Maybe that is the wrong word, but it is a very structured and detailed dress, which I think may be a little over the top. However, I would be willing to bet your Mom is interesting and stylish like yourself, so maybe she can pull it off!

 

[happilyeverafter]

It IS a beautiful dress, but I share an opinion with most here in saying that it might be a little too flashy. But as long as a. you''re comfortable with it (maybe?) being more ornate/formal than your dress b. it''s not white c. it won''t look silly in pics with the rest of the family then let your mom wear it. As long as she feels great and is not stepping on toes then why not?

 

[gailrmv]

Usually I wouldn''t think of a MOB choosing a strapless dress. It seems like maybe a younger, uh, bridelike style! It is a beautiful dress though!

 

[whenharrymetsally]

Date: 9/19/2007 12:54:29 PM
Author: FireGoddess
It''s too late for me to edit so I''ll post again - I don''t remember what your dress looks like - how formal is your wedding? If it''s pretty formal, that dress could fit in well.

Hm...i can see where the "Huh?" would come from...but i have to say....Wow, that is a gorgeous dress! I can definitely see that it might be just a wee bit flashy for perhaps a ceremony, but if the evening reception is in a fancy place or like FireGoddess says, if it is a formal thing..it might work?

 

[Sabine]

I agree that it doesn''t quite match the tone of your dress.

 

[Kismet]

I dunno, maybe it''s just me, but I wouldn''t feel right dictating to my mother what she could and could not wear. I know I certainly wouldn''t have wanted my mother saying "No, Kismet, you can''t wear that silver dress, you just wouldn''t look like a bride in it. You must wear the big, poofy white dress to look like a bride."

 

[diamondfan]

It is pretty, but I will delicately ask if your mom''s figure is similar. That dress is somewhat tight and I cannot see someone in it who is not built similarly. I also think that it is a bit fancy and ornate, and as mother of the bride might be too attention catching.

 

[anchor31]

A strapless MOB dress seems strange to me. I don''t know how old you mother is, but I''d be worried about it not being age-appropriate (ie: My mom will be 53 and I can hardly imagine her wearing this at my wedding).

 

[Independent Gal]

Hi Ladies,

Thanks for all your comments. I think you hit the nail on the head in terms of what was ''huh?''ing me and in terms of why I''m hesitant to say something. It IS flashy, and possibly a titch over the top. The wedding will be what we are called ''Formal with flare!'' Evening gowns and tuxes welcome, but so are stripey socks.

My mom''s figure is pretty hot so other than arms, she can carry it off. She''s turning 60 this year, but she only weighs 5-10 pounds more than I do, and she''s taller. She was thinking she''d do a shawl to cover her arms as that is definitely a trouble spot for her.

In terms of flashiness, my mom has got more and more and more flashy, the older she has got. She used to be horribly shy, and I think as she has become gradually less shy, so has her taste. But I''ve had more than a few ''huh?'' moments in the last few years. She wears things that I sometimes think are too young for her. That said, she can almost carry it off. She''s elegant and slim. But she IS 60!

And I think a tiny corner of my brain was going ''well, that dress is much flashier (and twice as expensive!) than mine. am I worried about being upstaged?'' But over the course of the day I''ve been thinking it over, and I realized that I''m really not worried about being upstaged. Partly, I LOVE the idea of sharing the stage with my mom. After all, that lady raised me! She is an awesome mom. I kind of feel like she deserves to take a bow, know what I mean? Second of all, she never had a wedding. Her first marriage was in my grammy''s living room when she was 19. There were 10 guests. Then she married my step-dad in the court house, while we waited in the car. Their witnesses were a secretary and the janitor! So I kinda feel like, if she wants to be flashy at my wedding, heck why not? She never got to be flashy at HER wedding.

It''s true it doesn''t go with my dress. And I guess I do sort of think it''s inappropriate. But I also think I want her to wear what she wants to wear.

Thanks so much guys, for helping me figure out my ''huh?'' Now I have to figure out whether to say anything. I probably won''t. Maybe when I go visit I''ll suggest we go shopping together and hopefully something else will jump out at her!

 

[surfgirl]

Hey IG, here''s an idea for a strategy...Why not ask her if she is willing to wait until you see her so you two can go dress shopping together? That you''d love for her dress to "go with" or compliment your dress a bit more so family photos look more cohesive (or something like that?!). Maybe letting her know you''d like to share that dress shopping experience will sit well with her and then you can see if you guys can find a nice dress that goes with yours a bit better....? Just a thought, because if I''m being honest, in photos, I think her dress will stick out like a sore thumb compared to your dress...

 

[zoebartlett]

Here is a picture of the MOB dress and Indy''s dress (on someone else):

 

[zoebartlett]

Well, I first want to say that I love the color of both dresses. On my computer your mom''s dress, Indy, looks like burnt orange or rust (maybe a deep coral??). It''s gorgeous! While it seems a little more formal than any MOB dresses I''ve seen at weddings, I think it''s beautiful. I don''t think anyone will mistake who the bride is though.

 

[canuk-gal]

HI:

I think it is stunning--I''d love to see a picture of her in it!

cheers--Sharon

 

[surfgirl]

Now that I see both dresses next to each other, I think they clash quite a bit...just my opinion though...and I''m certainly no fashionista!

 

[zoebartlett]

Hmmm, I keep coming back to the dresses and I think I agree with surfgirl. They are both so detailed with pattern or design that they look very busy next to each other. I still think they''re very pretty though, but maybe not together.