Nail Salon jealously lol

[doobao]

Jealousy is such common human emotion, but I totally agree with Crown1 that it''s never classy.

I live in an area where women wear diamonds bigger than the average size.
Plus my friends who got engaged or married all have huge rocks.
I''m not jealous of them, but I do think both my "soon to proposed" bf & I feel pressured.

But I know I will be the happiest & luckiest woman in the whole wide world no matter what size of diamond he proposes to me with because he adores me in a way that I think a 100 ct diamond don''t even come close to.

BTW! I wanna see some pictures too! I LOVE Asscher cut & can never get tired of them!

 

[Nicrez]

Date: 4/18/2007 11:15:08 AM
Author: littlelysser
Not trying to flame anyone...I just think it was an odd post and people are responding to it and it isn''t about upgrading, really.

Wanting to upgrade - totally fine with me. I''d LOVE a 4 carat asscher. But it doesn''t seem like that is what this post was about.

Just seemed like a strange post...kind of bragging about the size/clarity/color of her current ering but then saying it was too small. Talking about being spoiled and that it was the FI''s fault. Just seemed disingenuous or something...and it was odd to equate how much FI loves you with the size of the rock.

She talked of wanting to be satisfied, but comparing her diamond with others.

And the point about the fact that a three carat asscher isn''t going to be a big rock...well that is true.

"having a huge rock to show the world how much I mean to him. I guess im a bit spoiled but he did this to me. Oh by the way my asscher is a medium size. E vs1 1.55ct at 25 isnt bad right?"

"I hope when I get the size of my dreams ill be satisfied."

Littlelysser, I totally agree with you. That was exactly what I got from the post. It wasn''t a "hey, I found a really great 3ct stone I really want, I think I will upgrade" kind of post, it was as if it was a sort of validation to her current ring, then a shameless "I''m so spoiled" statement, and this notion that 25 year olds walk around with huge diamonds. Upgrading is fine if it''s appreciated and the sentiment behind the original is there, I think, but this seemed more like a post about how hers was just not enough, and just seemed like a comment celebrating the megative reasons for wanting an upgrade. It wasn''t phrased as badly as the ideas seemed to have been conceived in my opinion.

If people post a question on this site, I will expect every post to have positive reactions and negative ones. That is expected. But to ensure that everyone who posts gets a pat on the back and a cookie, just perpetuates a kindergarten attitude that people are too fragile to handle the truth or different opinions...

 

[lumpkin]

Off topic, but Dooboa, your yorkie is precious!!! What a little cutie. Is that Ralphie?

 

[doobao]

Date: 4/18/2007 12:21:07 PM
Author: lumpkin
Off topic, but Dooboa, your yorkie is precious!!! What a little cutie. Is that Ralphie?

lumpkin~ it IS off topic! But THANK YOU for your compliment to Ralphie!

she''s my baby~~~~~~~~~~~ kiss kiss kiss~~!

 

[boston_jeff]

Date: 4/18/2007 9:49:58 AM
Author:Mrs.soontobealfonzo
I went to get my nails done yesterday, and here come this women maybe late 20's with a hug rock. I couldn't stop staring then comparing it to mine. My rock started to look like a pebble. I went home, and told my fiance I was jealous and all he did was laugh. He told me that my upgrade was part of the budget for the wedding and not to worry. You'll get 3ct on our wedding day. I now have two amazing things to look forward too. Making alex my husband and having a huge rock to show the world how much I mean to him. I guess im a bit spoiled but he did this to me. Oh by the way my asscher is a medium size. E vs1 1.55ct at 25 isnt bad right?


Has anyone ever gotten jealous of a big rock, then got an upgrade right after, and if so how did it feel when you did? Did you just want to go bigger ? I hope when I get the size of my dreams ill be satisfied.

I would make sure that you fiance is really OK with your apparent dissatisfaction with the ring he recently proposed with. I am sure he wants you to be happy, and I know he laughed it off talking about upgrades, but my guess (from my own experience) is the 1.5ct purchase was a HUGE deal for him, and when he made it he thought it would be the ring of your dreams (because it was coming from him) and, at that size, that you would be thrilled (at least for awhile).

I know that if my FF was struggling so much with a stone that is quite big for her age I might be a little hurt/disappointed/feel she missed the point of what the ring means.

ETA: Mara makes a good point... I think it is weird if the fiance is actually OK with it...

 

[Mara]

actually in thinking about this more...it''s so random that mrs soontobe came home, said something along the lines of ''wah my diamond is small'' and then her fiance did what? patted her on the hand going ''don''t worry honey you will have a 3c at the wedding'' and she said what? ''okay thanks i feel better now?''...does this interaction seem so random? is that normal convo? hehee. or maybe it''s just me!! could be.

 

[togal]

Date: 4/18/2007 9:49:58 AM
Author:Mrs.soontobealfonzo
I went to get my nails done yesterday, and here come this women maybe late 20''s with a hug rock. I couldn''t stop staring then comparing it to mine. My rock started to look like a pebble. I went home, and told my fiance I was jealous and all he did was laugh. He told me that my upgrade was part of the budget for the wedding and not to worry. You''ll get 3ct on our wedding day. I now have two amazing things to look forward too. Making alex my husband and having a huge rock to show the world how much I mean to him. I guess im a bit spoiled but he did this to me. Oh by the way my asscher is a medium size. E vs1 1.55ct at 25 isnt bad right?

Has anyone ever gotten jealous of a big rock, then got an upgrade right after, and if so how did it feel when you did? Did you just want to go bigger ? I hope when I get the size of my dreams ill be satisfied.

This isn''t the first time on these boards that I''ve read posts by young women referring to the size of their rock and equating it with what it says to the world about how much their fiance/hubby loves them. To me it''s a little sad to think that this the way many people view the engagement ring.

I am older and realize that this is just silly. I''ve known several women who have no diamond at all, whose husbands love and appreciate them very much. It''s really a matter of economics and has absolutely nothing to do with a man''s capacity to love a woman.

Having said that, "Mrs.soontobealfonzo" believes that the bling size directly correlates with how the world acknowledges her soon-to-be-husband''s love for her. Therefore, it is a good thing that he is willing to buy her the three carat honker of her dreams before the wedding. Good for her!

One other point -- this is a forum to "shamelessly brag" about our diamond jewellery, therefore, I see nothing wrong with this poster boasting a little about their ring. If a person''s going to boast, this is definately the forum to do it. It might not go over so well in the ''real world'', but that shouldn''t deter anyone here. Afterall, let''s face it, the majority of us on this board would drool over a beautiful three carat rock.

"Mrs.soontobealfonzo" did ask a legitimate question in her post, so her post wasn''t quite as pointless as some are making it out to be. I hate to think that a person can''t make a post without people jumping all over them for having their own opinion on something. ''Mrs.soontobealfonzo'' was asking about how people felt after they got their upgrade. It seems to me that many people jumped on her with unsolicited advice. I would like to think that this is a friendly on-line community where one shouldn''t feel afraid to make a post without having their words picked-apart.

Anyway, in answer to the original question: YES, I have many times been jealous of a big rock (primarily the ones I see on this forum). I got an upgrade (albeit a humble one compared to many here), and was thrilled (still am). I plan to upgrade again when my finances allow, but I never regret upgrading!

 

[littlelysser]

Date: 4/18/2007 12:01:04 PM
Author: allycat0303




Littlelysser, what are we mind twins? That's the exact thing I got from this post (and other posts in the past too)

Woohoo! I have a mind twin!

We could totally kick butt in card games!

edited because the smiley face with heart eyes makes a VERY different statement than the one I meant to insert...

 

[VegasAngel]

No. someone will always have a bigger ring, bigger house, nicer car, better body, etc.. than me so whats the point? I love jewelry & sure, it''s nice to ogle huge rocks but I''m not going to feel cheated in some way. Not going to say I have never been envious of a person/object but I try to count my blessings & appreciate what I do have when I feel envy kicking in.

 

[littlelysser]

Date: 4/18/2007 12:44:52 PM
Author: Mara
actually in thinking about this more...it''s so random that mrs soontobe came home, said something along the lines of ''wah my diamond is small'' and then her fiance did what? patted her on the hand going ''don''t worry honey you will have a 3c at the wedding'' and she said what? ''okay thanks i feel better now?''...does this interaction seem so random? is that normal convo? hehee. or maybe it''s just me!! could be.

It certainly wouldn''t happen at my house.

Right after my FI bought my engagement ring, I saw a marc jacobs purse that I fell in LOVE with. It was about $1200. We got engaged around christmas time...So I showed him the purse and said now, that would be a great xmas present, don''t you think? I was *sort of* kidding...cause you know, I knew I just got my ring but really, LORD knows I love a purse.

He looked at me, half-kidding, and suggested that I sell my ring on ebay and use the proceeds to buy the bag (and maybe a couple others). So that conversation would have ended VERY differently in the littlelysser household.

For the record, I got a tempurepedic pillow for christmas from him that year. Worst part? It totally makes me neck hurt and now he uses it.

Now, technically, he says he got me my ering for xmas...but really, we all know I got a pillow. hehee.

 

[Cehrabehra]

Date: 4/18/2007 10:14:43 AM
Author: amylikesrocks
I agree with you 100% neatfreak.

My engagement ring size is not a reflection on how much my husband means to me. Its a reflection that we started our life wanting to save for a home and pay off his student debts. Yes, 12 years later, I''m in the market for a new ring but its not going to replace my engagment ring. Its going to be a ring I''m going to wear on my right hand.

exactly! my stone is a reflection of going *without* an e-ring for 15 years, finding the balance between having something I never feel the urge to upgrade ever again, and not spending all of our money on it LOL If it were up to my husband I still wouldn''t have a stone because he doesn''t see their point... but also, if it were up to my husband it would be 40 carats because that''s how much he loves me! Besides, how much a person loves someone else is absolutely mutually exclusive to how much they can afford or wish to afford.

 

[Cehrabehra]

Date: 4/18/2007 10:42:38 AM
Author: Nicrez

I just find this one-upsmanship attitude in engagement rings really horrible. Just buy more jewlery, or clothes to show off, but leave your engagement ring out of it. That explains the 2ct+ Bort on a Band I see everywhere now...

what is "bort"?

 

[Cehrabehra]

Date: 4/18/2007 11:01:49 AM
Author: lumpkin
This board is upgrade heaven. I''ve seen several posts where people got upgrades before the wedding, changed settings, changed shapes, etc., and no one flamed them. Why are ya whompin'' on this gal??? If she wants a bigger diamond, why is that offensive???

I don''t think it''s bad she wants a bigger diamond, though I do agree wholeheartedly with df when she said, "leave things to look forward to". I "upgraded" my stone several times before I even bought it LOL I watched my budget double several times and its still going up LMAO!!! When all is said and done, I''m spending about (I can''t even type it lol) more than I set out to spend.

 

[Madam Bijoux]

From Wikipedia:
Bort or boart is a term used in the diamond industry to refer to shards of gem-grade/quality diamonds. In the manufacturing and heavy industries, "bort" is used to describe dark, imperfectly formed/crystallized diamonds of varying levels of opacity. The lowest grade, "crushing bort", is crushed by steel mortars and used to make industrial-grade abrasive grits. Small bort crystals are used in drill bits. The Democratic Republic of the Congo provides 75% of the world supply of crushing bort.

 

[Nicrez]

LOL, "Bort on a band" is something I have taken to calling the stones you see at "maul" stores most often...

technical term for a diamond with such low clarity that it is actually used only for industrial diamond use, like diamond dust (like when polishing diamonds) or for technology or cutting purposes (Diamond tipped drills, etc)...


"All these twin-groupings are quite regular and conform to certain definite crystallographic laws. Other intergrowths of two or more diamond crystals may be met with, in which the grouping is irregular and accidental, and cannot be referenced to any general rule, the relative positions of individual crystals being determined by chance. In such inter-growths may be found small crystals growing singly on a larger one, or several crystals of more or less equal size may be united in an irregular group. Such groups are unsuitable for cutting as gems and are usually devoted to technical purposes, the same is true to a certain extent in the case of the twinned crystals above described. Irregular groupings of diamond crystals may, in a crystallographic sense, be referred to as bort, in the technical sense, However, the term bort includes all stones which, from some reason or another, are unfit for use as gems, and this term is even applied to simple crystals disfigured by some serious fault, such as imperfect transparency, bad color, etc. Bort occurs in a peculiar spherical form, being built up of a large number of small crystals radially arranged, so that the whole group takes the shape of a more or less perfect sphere. Numerous small points project from the surface of the sphere, these being the corners of the individual crystals forming the group. These spheres of bort are found in all diamond mines to the extent of from two to ten per cent of the total output. Not infrequently only the outer shell of the sphere has the radially fibrous character just described, the central portion being occupied by a large, regularly-formed single crystal, which is usually so loosely attached to the radially crystalline shell that it falls out when the latter is broken."

excerpt from this webpage: http://www.minelinks.com/alluvial/diamonds2.html

 

[Ellen]

Date: 4/18/2007 1:05:32 PM
Author: togal



''Mrs.soontobealfonzo'' did ask a legitimate question in her post, so her post wasn''t quite as pointless as some are making it out to be. I hate to think that a person can''t make a post without people jumping all over them for having their own opinion on something. ''Mrs.soontobealfonzo'' was asking about how people felt after they got their upgrade. It seems to me that many people jumped on her with unsolicited advice. I would like to think that this is a friendly on-line community where one shouldn''t feel afraid to make a post without having their words picked-apart.

I totally hear what you''re saying, and I know you mean well. And I agree. But this very thing will happen, no matter how innocuous the post may be, it can easily take on a totally (and unwanted) direction. I have been on many boards, and have seen it firsthand. And while I "thought" I had learned what and what not to post about, and how to word things carefully, I have found out it is almost impossible to keep a thread on the track you want, or even the track it should be/stay on. It happens for a variety of reasons, many which could be avoided by posters, but often are not.

It has made personally decide to rarely start a thread anymore, it''s just not worth it. And that''s not because I post only wanting to hear what I want to hear, it''s because some can''t stick to the question/topic at hand, some misinterprut (that can be the poster and/or readers fault), some plain just don''t read, some read only what they want, etc. One should post expecting the unexpected, always.

This post was not directed at anyone in partcular.

 

[Cehrabehra]

Date: 4/18/2007 11:47:38 AM
Author: lumpkin
Ellen and Littlelysser, just trying to lighten up the thread. It was beginning to feel way too serious.

I guess I''m having an Aspie moment. I just didn''t get anything heavy out of her post...thought she was kind of laughing at herself??? Call me shallow, but I''ve had diamond envy, so I can relate.

ETA: OH, and my diamond envy actually occured when I worked as a nail tech, so I even further relate to the OP! Gosh I saw some huge rocks on some of my clients!

I had diamond envy for 15 years. And it wasn''t even about size it was about wanting ANY diamond. I never in a million years thought I''d get a diamond the size I did and so I never wanted it. I was *just* as envious of the little tiny diamonds as I was over the big ones.

In fact even now I don''t find envy over the really large stones. I envy more the lifestyle that goes with it - mainly having a nanny and housecleaner LOL I would also like a personal assistant to help me manage my time... and a gardener.... If I had hundreds of thosuands to spend on a diamond I wouldn''t - I''d upgrade my "staff" hehehehe

 

[Cehrabehra]

Date: 4/18/2007 12:09:17 PM
Author: belle
will the new ''upgrade'' be clarity enhanced like your current diamond or is that part of the reason you want to make a change?

is this the same person who had the sigline about how all her friends are jealous?

 

[Cehrabehra]

Date: 4/18/2007 12:44:52 PM
Author: Mara
actually in thinking about this more...it''s so random that mrs soontobe came home, said something along the lines of ''wah my diamond is small'' and then her fiance did what? patted her on the hand going ''don''t worry honey you will have a 3c at the wedding'' and she said what? ''okay thanks i feel better now?''...does this interaction seem so random? is that normal convo? hehee. or maybe it''s just me!! could be.

its just you mara LOL the rest of us all come home regularly and get patted on the head and handed 3 carat stones (((((poooooor mara)))))

 

[littlelysser]

Date: 4/18/2007 2:14:16 PM
Author: Cehrabehra

Date: 4/18/2007 12:09:17 PM
Author: belle
will the new ''upgrade'' be clarity enhanced like your current diamond or is that part of the reason you want to make a change?

is this the same person who had the sigline about how all her friends are jealous?

No, different person.

 

[KristyDarling]

We''ve seen many posts like this on PS, so none of this should be new to the veteran PSers. I agree that some responses are a lil'' judgemental, but that may be more of a reaction to the OP''s somewhat entitled tone of voice....which I attribute to, well, being 25 AND having a very indulgent fiance! (and for anyone who likes jumping to conclusions: I''m referring to this thread only and am *not* implying that all 25-year-olds are immature!)

OP may not have the most grounded handle on her priorities, but at least she is was honest in her post and didn''t try to hide her feelings. Most people aren''t born with a built-in sense of what''s most important in life. For a lot of people, it takes time to grow, mature, and realize that something like diamond size is totally irrelevant to love and life in general, and like someone else said, is simply a matter of economics.

 

[JZuino]

I really think the orginal post was misconstrued. While I love my engagement ring it is simply a piece of beautiful jewelry. My finacee and I knew long before he bought the ring that we wanted to spend our lives together. The ring didnt change who we were, didn''t change our feelings, didn''t change our relationship. At the most all the engagement ring did was add a little sparkle to my life and demostrate to others how "serious" we were; although those important in your life should probably be able to tell that without a ring. I could''ve received a bigger ring if I wanted to wait longer to get married; it was my choice and I simply didn''t want to wait however that doesn''t mean I am ruling out an upgrade in the future. Like I said its just a beautiful piece of jewelry and who doesnt want more of that. Regardless of what is on your hand, the relationship is what matters and I think the orginal poster understands that ("now have two amazing things to look forward too. Making alex my husband...")

 

[Cehrabehra]

Date: 4/18/2007 1:05:32 PM
Author: togal

This isn''t the first time on these boards that I''ve read posts by young women referring to the size of their rock and equating it with what it says to the world about how much their fiance/hubby loves them. To me it''s a little sad to think that this the way many people view the engagement ring.

I am older and realize that this is just silly. I''ve known several women who have no diamond at all, whose husbands love and appreciate them very much. It''s really a matter of economics and has absolutely nothing to do with a man''s capacity to love a woman.

you are SOOOOOOO right. All those years of wanting an e-ring so bad... it took getting one to realize I never really needed it afterall. Still glad I got it, but the need I thought it would fill - turns out it was never actually there! The ACT of receiving it was 100% of the meaning. Not the stone itself. The stone itself is almost apart... more of a reflection of me than of his love. But it is still kinda hard to separate it... it is a symbol of the meaning... and the size of the symbol means NOTHING.... it''s the size of what it symbolizes that means EVERYTHING.

 

[curiopotter]

Well, back to the actual question you were asking...


Do I feel jealous and want an upgrade when I see other people''s jewelry? No.

I work in an extremely affluent area of Houston, and if I became jealous of every 4 or 5 carat diamond that gets waived infront of me, or every Black American Express card I get handed, then I''d just crumble! Seriously!

And I was raised with the "upper crust" of society! The highschool I went to, currently has TWO students driving Bently''s to school! My parents are both physicians, and I was raised to be very fortunate and appreciative of the love I have from my family, and not the things we own. I grew up modestly, and without recognition of status. I''m now 24, and I had never seen my mom''s engagement ring until a few months ago. She just never wore it, and I was absolutely shocked when she pulled it out!

I had been telling her about how frustrated I was with finding ''the'' setting, and she finally got fed up with my rant and said,"It''s not about the ring! The ring is just a symbol of the love and trust you have for one another. It doesn''t matter if you have a million dollar ring, or a hundred dollar band!" My parents have been together for 32 years.

A diamond doesn''t mean anything, and a ring is just a symbol.

I appreciate people''s jewelry, and I''m more in AWE than I am jealous. For me, it''s about the history of that diamond, and the cut, and all of the beautiful and unique nuances that I''ve learned here on PS that make diamonds like that so rare and unique.

 

[Cehrabehra]

Date: 4/18/2007 1:05:32 PM
Author: togal

One other point -- this is a forum to ''shamelessly brag'' about our diamond jewellery, therefore, I see nothing wrong with this poster boasting a little about their ring. If a person''s going to boast, this is definately the forum to do it. It might not go over so well in the ''real world'', but that shouldn''t deter anyone here. Afterall, let''s face it, the majority of us on this board would drool over a beautiful three carat rock.

I have no problem with someone bragging about their 3 carat stone... it''s more offensive to say yeah I have a 1.5 carat stone and eh its okay. Everyone here knows a 3 carat stone is awesome! But everyone here also knows a 1.5 carat stone is awesome too! Not something to yawn over and treat as though unworthy.

 

[Cehrabehra]

Date: 4/18/2007 2:02:46 PM
Author: Madam Bijoux

From Wikipedia:
Bort or boart is a term used in the diamond industry to refer to shards of gem-grade/quality diamonds. In the manufacturing and heavy industries, ''bort'' is used to describe dark, imperfectly formed/crystallized diamonds of varying levels of opacity. The lowest grade, ''crushing bort'', is crushed by steel mortars and used to make industrial-grade abrasive grits. Small bort crystals are used in drill bits. The Democratic Republic of the Congo provides 75% of the world supply of crushing bort.

thank you MB I thought to look it up but I didn''t know if it was an actual term... I kept thinking "port" LOL! and wondering if it was another type of wine

 

[Cehrabehra]

Date: 4/18/2007 2:03:53 PM
Author: Ellen

It has made personally decide to rarely start a thread anymore, it''s just not worth it. And that''s not because I post only wanting to hear what I want to hear, it''s because some can''t stick to the question/topic at hand, some misinterprut (that can be the poster and/or readers fault), some plain just don''t read, some read only what they want, etc. One should post expecting the unexpected, always.

This post was not directed at anyone in partcular.

I know *exactly* what you mean

 

[aquarius_ser]

Unless you''re marrying Donald Trump or someone like that, someone is ALWAYS going to have a bigger rock than you, honey. I could probably write several paragraphs about how "off" your post sounds (self-esteem issue, perhaps), but others have already done that so I won''t waste my time. I will leave it to "technical" advice... if you are just worried about getting the biggest rock for the carat size, do not get an asscher...

 

[Cehrabehra]

Date: 4/18/2007 2:23:51 PM
Author: curiopotter

I grew up modestly, and without recognition of status. I''m now 24, and I had never seen my mom''s engagement ring until a few months ago. She just never wore it, and I was absolutely shocked when she pulled it out!

I had been telling her about how frustrated I was with finding ''the'' setting, and she finally got fed up with my rant and said,''It''s not about the ring! The ring is just a symbol of the love and trust you have for one another. It doesn''t matter if you have a million dollar ring, or a hundred dollar band!'' My parents have been together for 32 years.

okay, your mother is 100% correct, but I have to ask, so what''s the ring like?

 

[snuga]

Date: 4/18/2007 2:23:51 PM
Author: curiopotter
I appreciate people's jewelry, and I'm more in AWE than I am jealous. For me, it's about the history of that diamond, and the cut, and all of the beautiful and unique nuances that I've learned here on PS that make diamonds like that so rare and unique.

Ok, don't make fun of me...

I have to agree with curiopotter, when I look at my diamond, I do see sparkle and all that, but as a scientist, I also see a chunk of carbon. The thought of what diamonds undergo in order to become diamonds is incredible to me. The fact that all carbon on the earth originated in stars is so crazy. To know that something millions/billions of years old can be so beautiful and hold such emotional meaning in an engagement ring is awesome. I think I may be in the minority here, but I generally appreciate the chemistry behind diamonds when I see them before I notice the size/clarity/cut... That's why my "something old" at my wedding will be my diamond. There's not much more that's older!!

I know.. I'm a dork... LOL