Nail Salon jealously lol

[gailrmv]

I don''t have a lot to add, but

I was sitting next to someone yesterday who has a beautiful solitaire, about 2 carats, exactly the kind of ring I would love to have. (I love my own ring, but I would not say no to an upgrade.) Anyway, while i was sitting there, admiring her ring, and thinking how much I''d like to look down to my own finger and see it there, I got to thinking - it wouldn''t change my life one bit. I would enjoy it sure, but my life would be exactly the same - same frustrations, problems, and positive things as now. This may be obvious to everyone else, and of course I''ve always known it rationally, but for a while I was emotionally putting all these expectations on material things which of course they couldn''t deliver.

I didn''t read everything Peridot wrote but I agree with the basic sentiment that housing prices have risen so astronomically that it may cause people to buy other things instead. (I''m not saying this is a good thing to do or even a rational thing, but I can see why people are doing it.) I.e. a person might think homeownership is so unattainable for me right now, but this other luxury item I can have right away.

 

[Cehrabehra]

Date: 4/24/2007 7:02:45 PM
Author: Mara

6 months isn''t going to change the above. 6 months changes nothing.

______________

I totally missed this until Cehra quoted it but I have a story.

We got married in May 2004. In Jan 2004 we bought our townhouse.

A bunch of people said ''why are you buying now, just wait the 5 months until you are married, it''s easier and less paperwork''.

We said, ''well we don''t know what will be going on in May or June or July 2004...we know now that we have this opportunity, we love this place, and we want to take it.'' We were getting a stellar deal on the unit, it was brand new and the old buyer had fallen out of financing and the builder was done and wanted to move on so gave it to us at the price the old buyer was getting it which was like $30k less than last unit sold.

We got married in May 2004. In June 2004, a townhouse in our complex, end unit like ours, mirror image, sold for about $100k more than what we had just paid 6 months ago for our own unit.

That 6 months would have entirely priced us out of that community/complex/unit...we would not have been able to afford to get that same place.

So we are SOOO glad we didn''t wait the 6 months or whatever until we got married like so many people were saying. Since then the values have only gone up. Even though things are holding now and may be dropping like $10k here or there, we are still so happy we took the risk at the time.

So yes 6 months can change a ton. The RE market here vs 6 months ago is actually a very different landscape. A year ago is even more of a change. I think part of it depends on what area you are in...if you are in a volatile, quickly moving market that is in demand like California or similar then 6 months could make or break whether you have a 2 bedroom or 3 bedroom or a house or a condo etc. I don''t think that ALWAYS happens but it''s smart to just be watching things and be able to be ''ready'' if something does work in your favor. Just my own experience.

totally - this actually happened to us twice. We were going to move in 2000. We were looking at houses in rancho penasquitos for around 425k. We decided to wait just a couple years until he was done with school and BOOM the houses were 650! So we were then looking at houses in vista for about 450 and during the 6 months I referred to above they went to 550! Again, priced out.

 

[Cehrabehra]

Date: 4/24/2007 7:02:48 PM
Author: TravelingGal
You know, it''s often this whole ''you have to pay your dues'' that rankles younger people. People who''ve paid their dues think that others should as well. There might even be a bit of jealousy when younger people somehow get things without paying the perceived dues. It''s common in the workplace...older people won''t promote younger people even though they are deserving without putting them through the wringer first. Younger people often don''t see why they have to climb that ladder a step at a time. The generation gap goes both ways...believe me, I have lived it and are still living it.

My thing is if younger gals can get more and are happy with their lives even if isnt''what I would do, I don''t care....more power to them. As long as they don''t file bankruptcy and make others pay for their mistakes, it''s their life.

Actually I agree 100% with all of this. Except that I would also add please don''t whine or complain about how you "can''t" or people will tell you how you *can*. The "dues" we''ve paid have been easier than what others have had to pay so you''re right that it isn''t fair to base it all on that... but it''s so natural to find solutions to problems and it bugs me when people aren''t proactive yet reserve the right to complain. I admit it''s just one of my peeeeves.

 

[Blenheim]

Peridot -- Regarding the larger downpayment, it can help you buy a more expensive house while paying the same monthly payments. For example, you could put down $x and spend 30% of your income each month on the mortgage, or you could put down $x+y on a house $y more expensive than the first and have the same monthly payment. In fact, you might get better interest rates since you''re putting a larger percentage down, making your monthly payment less. And it takes you from paying PMI to not, then that''s an additional savings.


I''m a younger PSer (23 y.o.) and wanted to mention something. I''ve mentioned upgrading, diamond bands, etc. on here, wanting to get others'' opinions. But just because I mention something doesn''t mean that I spend that money. After spending a couple of months debating what I wanted for a wedding band, I elected to go with a $100 gold band rather than a diamond band. FI brought up adding pear sidestones to my ring sometime within the next year (we were originally thinking of doing it in 5 yrs since we didn''t have the money for it when he bought my ring). We went to get it priced out and look at some pears, and I ended up almost crying in Quest''s parking lot afterwards at the thought of changing my ring. I had no idea I was that sentimental about it.

And while I talk about these kinds of things, I don''t think of myself as particularly materialistic. I like thinking about material things, but I just don''t value most of them enough to actually spend the money on them.

(Said as I''m sitting on a couch that used to belong to my parents, wearing shorts that I bought in high school, typing on a 5 year old laptop.) Just a reminder that sometimes we only see one side of the story on here...

 

[Skippy123]

Wow, it is kind of shocking to me that this thread is 8 pages. There are some interesting topics going on here.

 

[gailrmv]

Ya know, can I rant a bit on something kind of related that has been bugging me? Speaking of costs, generational differences, etc...

I feel like the gap between rich and poor in this country is growing wider all the time and also the gap between middle class and wealthy is growing a lot too. I could be wrong but I think the differences are now than before and it may be affecting some of the consumerism, debt spending etc that we are seeing.

I know that certain professions will always pay more due to the nature of the work, market conditions, etc, but the gap is growing wider in my opinion and it really concerns me. For example, thinking of two of my college friends. One went to law school and the other is a teacher. One earns WELL over $100,000 while the other earns approx $35,000. Now, I understand that my lawyer friend took 3 years to attain higher education (he had a scholarship, but even consider the cost of tuition). He works longer hours than my teacher friend. And of course, she has a lot more vacation time than he does. But over time, his income will grow significantly and I don''t even want to venture a guess as to how high it can go. My teacher friend will probably earn modest raises each year. Both of these individuals were good students in college and I would say both are smart, talented people. They are both contributing to society but they have just chosen different career paths. Again, I understand that lawyers should earn more to account for investment in education and longer work hours, but should it be 3,4,5 times as much or even more? I don''t really think so and it bothers me.

 

[Cehrabehra]

Date: 4/24/2007 9:34:59 PM
Author: gailrmv
Ya know, can I rant a bit on something kind of related that has been bugging me? Speaking of costs, generational differences, etc...

I feel like the gap between rich and poor in this country is growing wider all the time and also the gap between middle class and wealthy is growing a lot too. I could be wrong but I think the differences are now than before and it may be affecting some of the consumerism, debt spending etc that we are seeing.

I know that certain professions will always pay more due to the nature of the work, market conditions, etc, but the gap is growing wider in my opinion and it really concerns me. For example, thinking of two of my college friends. One went to law school and the other is a teacher. One earns WELL over $100,000 while the other earns approx $35,000. Now, I understand that my lawyer friend took 3 years to attain higher education (he had a scholarship, but even consider the cost of tuition). He works longer hours than my teacher friend. And of course, she has a lot more vacation time than he does. But over time, his income will grow significantly and I don''t even want to venture a guess as to how high it can go. My teacher friend will probably earn modest raises each year. Both of these individuals were good students in college and I would say both are smart, talented people. They are both contributing to society but they have just chosen different career paths. Again, I understand that lawyers should earn more to account for investment in education and longer work hours, but should it be 3,4,5 times as much or even more? I don''t really think so and it bothers me.

personally I think teachers should earn more - maybe then more would choose that occupation and society as a whole would have a greater vested interest in the education of our children.

 

[decodelighted]

The more outrageous sentiments that get posted by OP -- the more I feel "baited". Especially with all the other "hot button" threads she''s started.

"T" word ring a bell?

Just my dawning suspicion. I sure hope I''m wrong. Well, do I?

 

[KimberlyH]

Date: 4/24/2007 10:11:08 PM
Author: Cehrabehra

Date: 4/24/2007 9:34:59 PM
Author: gailrmv
Ya know, can I rant a bit on something kind of related that has been bugging me? Speaking of costs, generational differences, etc...

I feel like the gap between rich and poor in this country is growing wider all the time and also the gap between middle class and wealthy is growing a lot too. I could be wrong but I think the differences are now than before and it may be affecting some of the consumerism, debt spending etc that we are seeing.

I know that certain professions will always pay more due to the nature of the work, market conditions, etc, but the gap is growing wider in my opinion and it really concerns me. For example, thinking of two of my college friends. One went to law school and the other is a teacher. One earns WELL over $100,000 while the other earns approx $35,000. Now, I understand that my lawyer friend took 3 years to attain higher education (he had a scholarship, but even consider the cost of tuition). He works longer hours than my teacher friend. And of course, she has a lot more vacation time than he does. But over time, his income will grow significantly and I don't even want to venture a guess as to how high it can go. My teacher friend will probably earn modest raises each year. Both of these individuals were good students in college and I would say both are smart, talented people. They are both contributing to society but they have just chosen different career paths. Again, I understand that lawyers should earn more to account for investment in education and longer work hours, but should it be 3,4,5 times as much or even more? I don't really think so and it bothers me.

personally I think teachers should earn more - maybe then more would choose that occupation and society as a whole would have a greater vested interest in the education of our children.

As a future teacher (I'm currently in a Master's program earning my M.Ed.) I must say, that a lot gets overlooked in regards to teachers' salaries. You pointed out the vacation factor, I will only have to work 10 months a year. There is also the 11% difference you, as a non-teacher, must pay in taxes that I am able to avoid. And I, as a public school teacher, will have a pension, while most people must save for retirement via a 401(k).

Most teachers I know are veterans in CA, and they all make more than $70,000 a year (including a P.E. teacher).

Believe you me, I know how difficult teaching is, I'm a sub and have been told I deserve combat pay. But those factors need to be taken into consideration when discussing teacher salaries.

Talk about a thread hijack.

I think it's time to serve up some pie.

 

[Miranda]

Date: 4/24/2007 10:23:01 PM
Author: decodelighted
The more outrageous sentiments that get posted by OP -- the more I feel ''baited''. Especially with all the other ''hot button'' threads she''s started.

''T'' word ring a bell?

Just my dawning suspicion. I sure hope I''m wrong. Well, do I?

Ya know Deco, I was kinda thinking of the ''T'' word....Or just some poor attention starved, patronized young woman that seems not to think before she posts. Either way...

 

[Skippy123]

Kimberly,
Yeah for pie!!! Strawberry is my favorite

I know some wonderful ladies out there who like lemon.

 

[poptart]

Date: 4/24/2007 10:53:03 PM
Author: Miranda

Date: 4/24/2007 10:23:01 PM

Author: decodelighted

The more outrageous sentiments that get posted by OP -- the more I feel 'baited'. Especially with all the other 'hot button' threads she's started.


'T' word ring a bell?

Just my dawning suspicion. I sure hope I'm wrong. Well, do I?

Ya know Deco, I was kinda thinking of the 'T' word....Or just some poor attention starved, patronized young woman that seems not to think before she posts. Either way...

I'm still trying to figure out the word, lol! I'm an English major, I swear! Someone needs to put up some coconut cream pie in this here thread. YUM!!!

*M*

 

[Harriet]

Can someone please explain "the T word" to me?

 

[Cehrabehra]

Date: 4/24/2007 11:17:21 PM
Author: Harriet
Can someone please explain ''the T word'' to me?

thavingth

(that''s "savings" for the lithpy)

 

[Harriet]

Sorry for being dense, but I still don''t get it.

 

[Kellybell]

Date: 4/24/2007 11:29:34 PM
Author: Harriet
Sorry for being dense, but I still don''t get it.

...I think it stands for troll...

 

[Cehrabehra]

Date: 4/24/2007 11:29:34 PM
Author: Harriet
Sorry for being dense, but I still don''t get it.

they''re talking about someone, I have no idea who.... and I''m making jokes by saying the word "savings" (re this thread) with a lisp so that it begins with a "T".

 

[Harriet]

Cehra,
As always, you crack me up!

Kellybell,
I finally get it.

 

[peridot83]

Hello all, since the thread seems to be winding down, I''ll give my last thoughts:

1. I stand corrected on my 6 months don''t matter rule . Hopefully the market isn''t that crazy when I try and enter it

2. Lawyers/medicine v. teachers salary. The reason, in medicine that the salaries are so large is pretty clear: there are very few people who have their skills. For Law. that''s harder to justify. However, note that most people don''t stay at a big private firm for more than 3 years, and almost all for not more than 10. The pay is partially so high because there is no job security (there are 200 graduates out the next year who would be happy to take your place) coupled with the high stress, and long hours. Also, you''ll only be receiving that really high salary for a few years until you have to switch jobs.

3. I guess the reason I reacted so hard to this thread. Is because, among the good advice responding constructively to my and others points, terms such as "whigning" and "entitled" and "irresponsible" are thrown out at people''s situations even though the person is giving valid, logical reasons and facts for their decision. These are expectedly loaded terms by an older person/(person with more life experience) to someone younger. Why? Because its how parents respond to children when they are trying to make light/put down the value of what a child is saying (basically you are behaving badly i.e a brat). While I definitely respect that those with more life experience know more than I do about finances, I would assume since we are all adults with valid points there would be no need to be condescending.

Thank y''all for entertaining my long posts... and I''ll let you know what engagement ring I end up getting in the end =P

 

[musey]

How is it that poor boston creme always gets left out??

 

[Skippy123]

I love boston cream pie; yummmy! I want a piece.

Oh my gosh Sara you are a NUT BALL! LOL

 

[Cehrabehra]

Date: 4/24/2007 11:40:49 PM
Author: Harriet
Cehra,
As always, you crack me up!

Kellybell,
I finally get it.

I get it too now, duuuuuh LOL And as for me, I''m better in person where I can make silly voices and cross my eyes rather than explaining my goofiness ::sigh:: LOL

 

[Nicrez]

I doubt T word. I think it''s just a regular gal looking for people to communicate with, even if we may or may not agree with her. I can certainly understand fascination with diamonds. I mean I gave up a very lucrative career, just to go back to school, and make a whole lot less, just to play with gems all day long... Tee hee....

And excuse me but isn''t this AMERICA?! Where the heck is the APPLE PIE?! The kind with the crust on top as well, and the cut outs and cinnamon...

PIE!

 

[Cehrabehra]

Peridot (and others) if there was one thing I would have you take away from this discussion it wouldn''t be anything specific about finances, but rather that the fact is you don''t have to justify your choices to anyone. Period. The minute you do start justifying it, it takes power away from the decison you''ve made and allows room for the questioning of that decision. If you say, "Houses are worth 3x more now than they were for my parents therefore I should have a ring valued 3x more than my parents" I can come back with, "If houses are 3x more now, then using that logic you should spend 1/3 on a ring, not 3x more." Seeking validation of your opinions opens it up for others to disagree with them.

The fact of the matter is though that all that truly needs to be said is, "Look at this ring I''ve got" and it isn''t anyone''s business the choices you make or how you''ve arrived at your decision. So don''t open yourself up to the criticism by seeking justification with theories and ideas. Just proclaim your decision and to hell with anyone else. I''ve overused the word justification here, but I hope you understand what I''m saying

There is no ONE right answer.... some of us shared our own paths and it is sometimes hard NOT to cringe when you see how someone might be making things more difficult for themselves, but life is about living and learning and all of us make mistakes and have unique paths so it really doesn''t matter if anyone else is cringing as long as you are confident in your choices.

 

[emilina22]

haha this is the most off topic thread ever.....

we jumped from talking about nail salon jealousy....to younger p.s''ers and assumtions about them....to real estate....and now boston creme pie!!!

lol

i love it

 

[peridot83]

I guess I'll make one last post, irk this is what happens when you'd rather do anything than work...

What I think another poster mentioned, and I experienced myself, was after I made a thoughtful post about how I thought savings and the real esate market worked and asked if I was right or wrong in my assumptions, I, and others, got a lot of backhanded condescending remarks such as: Oh look at people "whigning" or acting all "entitled" to both a house and a pretty engagement ring. I don't think anything in my posts or others justified such a response. In no way ever, did I say, I "should" be able to do this or I "should" have that. And neither did i think any of the twenty somethings who replied. I don't need this board to pat me on the back for having a financial strategy. What I did need from the board, and what I did receive (thank you!!) was to point out if any of my assumptions in constructing a financial plan that made sense to me were untrue. For example, my 6 month assumption about housing prices(which many of you were able to point out is not true). I expect constructive criticism of my choice not attacks or judgments on my , or my preceived groups, deficiencies in morals or values.

Its late and I probably am not describing myself properly so here's my poorly thought out analogy! If I posted on Rocky Talky a post that said: What do you think of this diamond? Put out the specs and said "I know a lot of people think you don't need a 'D or E' color and can actually go down to an H or I, but for me I want to know that no regular person looking at this diamond, once mounted, from any angle would be able to see any brown"

In response to such a post I'd expect pictures showing how G & H round brilliants really look the same as a D once mounted and face up, or that flouresence can help with the color etc. I'd even expect posts such as "a D diamond is overpriced and not worth the money." What I would NOT expect is people to start attacking me as idiotic or silly for looking at a D diamond. Or talk about how people who look at D diamonds are uneducated and hopeless.

This is obviously just one persons take, and I apologize for making this issue so long and dramatic. I apologize for my verboseness. I also want to reiterate my thanks to all of those who gave me solid examples and advice to look into!

 

[rainbowtrout]

OK, I know it is a thread hijak, but some of these pies are crazy looking! like that strawberry one, how do you fit all those fat berries in there, and why don't they look cooked at all? Odd.


Also, I think my favorites pie is Chocolate, but I can't seem to find a photo.


I actually do agree that there can be a lot of condescension sometimes, but I also agree with Cehradabra (sp?) that an internet forum is not the place to seek approbation of your financial choices. (to be fair, the one time I looked for advice I got EXACTLY what I needed, a kick in the butt!)

But anyway, if you're paying the bills and the taxes, your choices aren't hurting me...

RE: real estate. It does frustrate me that I won't be able to buy ANYTHING until I'm at least done with my doctorate, especially since I'm living in New York. I can't even concieve of having that much money in my bank account right now! (I'm 22, btw). The 2500 we are each putting towards the wedding seems enormous to me.

There's always a balance between enjoying what you have now, and providing for the future. I doubt any of us hit that balance perfectly.

 

[rainbowtrout]

Date: 4/24/2007 12:15:50 PM
Author: Independent Gal
It doesn't always have to be one or the other! If you shop smart, you can have gorgeous things and be sensible about saving money too.


I LOVE beautiful clothes and I LOVE a glamorous lifestyle, but I put saving first. So, I buy my Barney's clothes at the Barney's outlet when they're on clearance, or I shop at Century 21 in New York. That way, I get designer clothes at something not THAT much more than GAP prices (if you do it right). And when I want that Zagat 28 meal, I check for things like Monday night tasting menus or other 'deals'. I bought my furniture and rugs second hand.


You can have beautiful things AND be responsible if you know how to take advantage of bargains. Also, you can save so much by simply not wasting money. Do you really need all those features on your phone, e.g.? Can you take public transport? Why not get the brussels sprouts instead of the asparagus if they're on sale?


So, here I am, somewhere around the three decade mark, with 10 years of higher education (OK, granted I had scholarships for grad school, and so could invest most of the year's worht of salary I had earned and saved between undergrad and grad school), no debt, equity in a condo, a healthy retirement fund, 2 months salary worth of cushion in my savings account (I'm working on 6!), and let me tell you my salary is NOWHERE NEAR 6 figures.


Of course, I don't have a nice big diamond...

... but someday I will. And I'll have security too!

YES, your philosophy sounds exactly like mine and where I hope to be at your age. I am the Queen of Zagat 28's for lunch or Restaurant week, and only ordering one meal to split between the both of us (actually we do that everywhere). Of course, right now we only do it once or twice a year, but still.


And thrift/consignment shopping is the Best Thing Ever. So is raiding your parent's and stepparent's closets for what they can't wear anymore or don't want...although I think I may have to stop doing that when I hit a certain age or risk being branded a permenant adult child who refuses to buy her own clothes.


Travel is worth it to me, though. Travel and books are the things I spend any money on right now. Cause I could do it now or later, and "later" with travel tends to become "never."

 

[Harriet]

Date: 4/24/2007 11:51:57 PM
Author: peridot83
Hello all, since the thread seems to be winding down, I'll give my last thoughts:

2. Lawyers/medicine v. teachers salary. The reason, in medicine that the salaries are so large is pretty clear: there are very few people who have their skills. For Law. that's harder to justify. However, note that most people don't stay at a big private firm for more than 3 years, and almost all for not more than 10. The pay is partially so high because there is no job security (there are 200 graduates out the next year who would be happy to take your place) coupled with the high stress, and long hours. Also, you'll only be receiving that really high salary for a few years until you have to switch jobs.

My apologies for taking this thread further afield. Peridot, you are assuming that the big firms have a large supply of lawyers. Unfortunately, for most who go through the 3 years of hell, the big firms are highly selective. Also, some lawyers do have specific and unique skill sets!

 

[anchor31]

Date: 4/24/2007 11:10:54 PM
Author: Skippy123
Kimberly,
Yeah for pie!!! Strawberry is my favorite

OMG that looks amazing!!! YUMMO!