Name change- are you/have you made the switch??

[Clairitek]

Date: 7/20/2009 6:23:30 PM
Author: dreamer_dachsie
C-tec I had already published under my maiden name and when I changed it, I started publishing as Dreamer Maider Married, cited as ''Married, D.M.'' Works well and let me keep a little of my maiden name at least professionally!

This is interesting! I don''t have a current middle initial so it wouldn''t be tough to make that transition if I go to DH''s name full out.

I have a question though- when you do a search in the database for your published work and only put in your First and Maiden names, does your more current married work show up?

 

[cammy85]

Date: 7/21/2009 11:42:41 AM
Author: Patchee
I have a question, can you change your SS# and DMV but not change anything else?

Or will that jam you up down the road? I just received my marriage license yesterday and thought, heck I will take a walk down to SS to change it, then DMV... but do they take the certified copy of our marriage license?

Do I need to have a bunch of copies (at $10. a piece) for these places to keep or can I/they just make a copy?

I do not want to change banking information, credit, work etc. stuff.

Is it ok to do the above two but nothing elsE?

Patchee - I''d say if you change nothing else you may have a few issues with credit cards and stuff. However most places just need to see your marriage license, they don''t keep them. I have two certified copies and my original. All I have kept throughout the name change process.

So you don''t need 30 copies of your license/certificate. However if you don''t change anything else, I don''t know how that works. Technically your legal name would be your new name, and i think would get confusing if not reflected on your Credit Cards and stuff. What if they check your ID when you use your Credit Card and the names don''t match? I see no issue in not changing your name professionally, however.

Hope that helps!

 

[Gypsy]

Nope haven''t done it. Keep thinking I might, but all the paper work makes my headache. I''m incredibly lazy. I doubt I will, honestly.

 

[Clairitek]

Date: 7/21/2009 12:35:58 PM
Author: cammy85

Date: 7/21/2009 11:42:41 AM

Author: Patchee

I have a question, can you change your SS# and DMV but not change anything else?

Or will that jam you up down the road? I just received my marriage license yesterday and thought, heck I will take a walk down to SS to change it, then DMV... but do they take the certified copy of our marriage license?

Do I need to have a bunch of copies (at $10. a piece) for these places to keep or can I/they just make a copy?

I do not want to change banking information, credit, work etc. stuff.

Is it ok to do the above two but nothing elsE?

Patchee - I''d say if you change nothing else you may have a few issues with credit cards and stuff. However most places just need to see your marriage license, they don''t keep them. I have two certified copies and my original. All I have kept throughout the name change process.


So you don''t need 30 copies of your license/certificate. However if you don''t change anything else, I don''t know how that works. Technically your legal name would be your new name, and i think would get confusing if not reflected on your Credit Cards and stuff. What if they check your ID when you use your Credit Card and the names don''t match? I see no issue in not changing your name professionally, however.

Hope that helps!

If you did only the license and SS card and nothing else I don''t think that the highlighted issue would be the biggest one. I''ve been with my friend several times where she has her DH''s name on her license but her maiden name on her CC. She just hands it to them and says "This is my maiden name, I just haven''t changed my CC" and the cashiers haven''t seemed to care (though, I agree that it should matter). I think the biggest issue would be having your CCs and bank stuff (and any loans) tied to a name that is NOT on your social security card. I personally could see it being an issue when you apply for a new loan or mortgage or new credit card. If the name on your application does not match the name linked to your SSN I''d think that would raise some red flags.

 

[ficklefaye]

three of my friends changed their names after marrying and all of them had issues

1- they wouldn''t let her drop her middle and last name, so now her name doesn''t even fit on one line on her driver''s license
2- they wouldn''t let her drop her middle name (mom''s maiden name) so now she dropped her old last name and took on her husband''s last name
3- they wouldn''t let her keep her middle name so she dropped it and added her husbands last name

i guess it really depends on the person you are dealing with, needless to say, i''ve decided not to change mine

 

[Octavia]

Date: 7/21/2009 11:42:41 AM
Author: Patchee
I have a question, can you change your SS# and DMV but not change anything else?


Or will that jam you up down the road? I just received my marriage license yesterday and thought, heck I will take a walk down to SS to change it, then DMV... but do they take the certified copy of our marriage license?


Do I need to have a bunch of copies (at $10. a piece) for these places to keep or can I/they just make a copy?


I do not want to change banking information, credit, work etc. stuff.


Is it ok to do the above two but nothing elsE?

Patchee, I haven't changed my name and I don't plan on it, but I have done a lot of research on the laws about it. From that, I can tell you that you really can't use a different name on your work documents than what is on your Social Security card. The government will send your employer a "no match" letter, which basically is a fraud alert, if the name in the SS database doesn't match the information your employer sends them (tax withholdings, earnings information, etc). Even if your employer didn't care, you'd probably have issues with your tax returns at some point...IMHO, dealing with the IRS because they think you've filed fraudulent tax returns (or not filed at all) sounds a lot worse than changing your info at work if you decide you want to legally change your name. The same problem could apply to banking, since your bank will issue a tax document for any interest income. Anything that has legal impact (even credit cards involve a contract between you and the issuer) should be in your legal name -- and if you change with SS and the DMV, your legal name has changed and these other entities should be notified.

 

[Elmorton]

I made the switch literally the day after I returned from the honeymoon and had everything - from DL and SS to alma mater records switched over within the week. I had no desire to have my identity in limbo. I''m really happy with how I did things - I''m a firstname maiden newlastname (dropped my middle name to take on my maiden as a middle), so I feel like my name represents all of who I am now.

I do think that I would have felt differently about the name change had I not finished grad school a month before the wedding. Everything in my life when I got married was new - new home, new town, new career - so it was fitting that I had a new name to go with that new life. Had I been a bit more established on my own, I doubt I would have done it. Still, I''m happy I did. I love the sound/look of my name, and I enjoy that I share a last name with my hubby.

 

[Laila619]

I changed mine right away. It was relatively painless. Credit card companies will just do it right over the phone nowadays! I was shocked to find that out. The big ones are the DMV and SS office.

Also, if you update your passport to your new name within a year after your wedding, there are NO fees to get a new one. So I made sure to take advantage of that.

I think changing my name made it really feel ''real.'' Plus it''s so fun to be Mrs. Hisname now.

 

[Scorpioanne]

Date: 7/21/2009 9:25:20 PM
Author: Octavia

Date: 7/21/2009 11:42:41 AM
Author: Patchee
I have a question, can you change your SS# and DMV but not change anything else?


Or will that jam you up down the road? I just received my marriage license yesterday and thought, heck I will take a walk down to SS to change it, then DMV... but do they take the certified copy of our marriage license?


Do I need to have a bunch of copies (at $10. a piece) for these places to keep or can I/they just make a copy?


I do not want to change banking information, credit, work etc. stuff.


Is it ok to do the above two but nothing elsE?

Patchee, I haven''t changed my name and I don''t plan on it, but I have done a lot of research on the laws about it. From that, I can tell you that you really can''t use a different name on your work documents than what is on your Social Security card. The government will send your employer a ''no match'' letter, which basically is a fraud alert, if the name in the SS database doesn''t match the information your employer sends them (tax withholdings, earnings information, etc). Even if your employer didn''t care, you''d probably have issues with your tax returns at some point...IMHO, dealing with the IRS because they think you''ve filed fraudulent tax returns (or not filed at all) sounds a lot worse than changing your info at work if you decide you want to legally change your name. The same problem could apply to banking, since your bank will issue a tax document for any interest income. Anything that has legal impact (even credit cards involve a contract between you and the issuer) should be in your legal name -- and if you change with SS and the DMV, your legal name has changed and these other entities should be notified.

For Canadian women this isn''t a big deal at all. None of my income tax info from my main job is correct (I added DH''s name and have a double barrelled surname) and I have filed electronically every year and my info is mostly in my old name. I did change my SIN number after the wedding and thought it would automatically change the name when I got my income tax form but it didn''t. I haven''t cared enough to fix it as they don''t seem to care. BTW, my wedding was 5 years ago almost!

 

[newsboysgrl777]

Haven''t read the entire thread yet (I''m lazy at quarter to 9 in the morning...LOL), but I do plan on changing my name. I don''t love his last name at all...and I''m quite used to mine, but I realized that, for me, I wanted to give myself completely over to him, and hanging onto my own name (even hyphenated) was holding out on him. (This is just how I feel for me, not how I feel in general...at all) But, I haven''t actually done everything yet. Mostly because the time has flown since our wedding (3 weeks ago tomorrow) and I''ve been sick for almost 2/3 of it, but I''ll have to get started on it really soon.

I did get the missnowmrs.com subscription last year while I was still engaged and had completed all the paperwork well in advance, so all I have to do is just print up what I have and go to each place/mail the forms in. I realize some of the forms may not be exact (as some said, they needed to re-fill out forms for SS or DMV), but at least it''s an idea and a starting point.

Also, I''ve pretty much been changing my name on things and when I need to sign up for something new, I use my ''new'' name...even though it''s not official yet.

 

[zoebartlett]

I made the switch not long after we got back from our honeymoon. It wasn''t a big process but I''m still getting used to my new name a year later.

 

[violet02]

I made the switch right away, within the first couple weeks of being married.

I did SSN, waited for my new card then did DMV, passport etc.

Okay so today I went to get a resale license with my business partner who was married in 2007 and they said her name didn''t match her driver''s license and they rattle off some name I''d never heard of. Turns out she''d gotten all of her info changed EXCEPT her SSN info AND it was her last husband''s name! I''m so suprised she was able to get a driver''s license, file her taxes and everything without needing to change her SSN info ever. In fact in between being married to husband 1 and husband 2 she went back to using her maiden name.

But a friend pointed out that as long as the numbers match it''s probably fine. I''m still suprised!

 

[bee*]

I will change my name eventually but not yet. I do like my surname and D''s surname is an extremely common one in Ireland whereas mine isn''t. I do like the thought of us having the same last name though. I still have to get my marriage cert sent out so as soon as I get that I will probably start changing things.

 

[zoebartlett]

Date: 7/24/2009 3:10:18 AM
Author: violet02
I made the switch right away, within the first couple weeks of being married.

I did SSN, waited for my new card then did DMV, passport etc.

Okay so today I went to get a resale license with my business partner who was married in 2007 and they said her name didn''t match her driver''s license and they rattle off some name I''d never heard of. Turns out she''d gotten all of her info changed EXCEPT her SSN info AND it was her last husband''s name! I''m so suprised she was able to get a driver''s license, file her taxes and everything without needing to change her SSN info ever. In fact in between being married to husband 1 and husband 2 she went back to using her maiden name.

But a friend pointed out that as long as the numbers match it''s probably fine. I''m still suprised!

Violet, I don''t remember ever having a SS card so I thought it would be a good idea to get one after we got married. At the time, I wanted to use my maiden name as my last name so I asked for a new card with my name written that way. THen I went to the DMV to get a new license with my new last name. When I handed the girl behind the counter my new SS card, she said it wsn''t valid or legal. I was really surprised because I thought if anything would be legal, THAT would be it. She said that you could virtually change your name to anything (actually, Humpty Dumtpy was the example she used

) but unless you go to court and legally change your middle name, it isn''t valid. So now my license has the only name that the DMV would allow me to have: Zoe, Given Middle Name, Husband''s Last Name. It''s a long story to point out the highlighted part, but I wanted to give an example of how changing your SS info might not mean much anyway. Sorry to ramble!

 

[honey22]

I can''t wait to take his name. I am really looking forward to it! I have even started practising my new signature. I know, I am a dork!

 

[violet02]

Date: 7/24/2009 7:20:47 AM
Author: ZoeBartlett

Date: 7/24/2009 3:10:18 AM
Author: violet02
I made the switch right away, within the first couple weeks of being married.

I did SSN, waited for my new card then did DMV, passport etc.

Okay so today I went to get a resale license with my business partner who was married in 2007 and they said her name didn''t match her driver''s license and they rattle off some name I''d never heard of. Turns out she''d gotten all of her info changed EXCEPT her SSN info AND it was her last husband''s name! I''m so suprised she was able to get a driver''s license, file her taxes and everything without needing to change her SSN info ever. In fact in between being married to husband 1 and husband 2 she went back to using her maiden name.

But a friend pointed out that as long as the numbers match it''s probably fine. I''m still suprised!

Violet, I don''t remember ever having a SS card so I thought it would be a good idea to get one after we got married. At the time, I wanted to use my maiden name as my last name so I asked for a new card with my name written that way. THen I went to the DMV to get a new license with my new last name. When I handed the girl behind the counter my new SS card, she said it wsn''t valid or legal. I was really surprised because I thought if anything would be legal, THAT would be it. She said that you could virtually change your name to anything (actually, Humpty Dumtpy was the example she used

) but unless you go to court and legally change your middle name, it isn''t valid. So now my license has the only name that the DMV would allow me to have: Zoe, Given Middle Name, Husband''s Last Name. It''s a long story to point out the highlighted part, but I wanted to give an example of how changing your SS info might not mean much anyway. Sorry to ramble!

It wasn''t a ramble!

I was just thinking about how you could go to the DMV and do exactly that, change your name to anything you wanted. What do you need a legal name change for if you can file taxes and do the rest of it without having to change your SSN? Sounds like it doesn''t matter. I''m suprised people go to court to legally change their names then. Unless it affects wills or something.

 

[Octavia]

Technically, in the US, your legal name is what your state of residence has on file for you. The DMV, being a state agency, can only use what the state has deemed your legal name. The federal government defers to the states on the issue (one of the few remaining vestiges of federalism/state's rights, and one that will probably go by the wayside in the next decade or so, in favor of a centralized national ID card). Each state has specific procedures for name changes at marriage, but if you don't want to follow the approved procedures, you have to go to court for a name change decree. That's why some women have no problem moving their maiden to middle, and others have to jump through hoops. In most states (all but 7, at last count), men who want to change their names at marriage have to go to court anyway -- only women get to do it the "easy way."

It's funny because the logical way to change one's name would be marriage licence (or court order) --> DMV --> Social Security, but people seem to have the most trouble with the DMV. AND, you would think that the Social Security office would be a little more careful in verifying the legal name change, but most of the mistakes seem to be caught on the back end with tax/benefit issues, not at the branch offices.

 

[museikchik]

So I am probably the oddball, I was really excited about changing my last name but not for the "normal" reasons. I can''t stand my biological father and have always wanted to change my name. When my mom remarried, my stepdad did want to adopt us but when I found out that my biological father wouldn''t have to pay child support if we did that I decided not to. I know that sounds terrible but if you knew what he put my family through you would want him to pay too. So I never changed my last name and just allowed people to pronounce it however they wanted because it didn''t really feel like mine. As soon as we got back from the honeymoon I started the process to change my name. I still need to change my gym membership, my JCPenney card and my student loan but for the most part I am finally rid of the last name I have resented for so long.

 

[Blair138]

Just went to Social Security yesterday-surprisingly it took 30 minutes, not bad AT ALL. Next is DMV once I get my card, I imagine that will be hell

 

[jstarfireb]

I haven''t done it yet (got married in May). My residency coordinator has asked me to wait until after some major paperwork is taken care of in his office before he gets around to helping me with that. Which is fine by me, since I don''t really want to hyphenate to begin with (husband is insisting!).

However, I heard something kind of surprising a few days ago. Is it true that you can not change your name legally unless you wrote the correct new name on your marriage license? Not realizing this, I wrote my maiden name on it, because we obviously weren''t married yet. I figured they just look at the husband''s name on the marriage license to verify it, but your name didn''t have to be changed there. Can anyone help?

 

[DMBFiredancer]

Date: 7/21/2009 2:47:06 AM
Author: Haven

As a teacher, though, it was very strange to have a new last name. I hear my last name called (beckoned, demanded, pleaded, whined, screamed) by teenagers hundreds of times throughout the day, so it was very strange to be start the school year off with a new last name. In fact, it took me a while to answer to my new name at the beginning of the school year. My former students largely refuse to call me by my married name, it''s as if they cannot grasp the change, which is fine by me.

I am a teacher, too and I worry about how I will handle this. I am so used to being called out on the playground by old students with my old name. It will be a weird transition period to be called 2 different names at school for a few years (especially since I teach 1st grade - I will keep hearing my old name for 5 years until they are 6th graders!)

It will definitely be a weird transition for me, but I am looking forward to it since I love my FI''s last name (think - the "W" last name in Sense and Sensibility)

I assume I have to wait for my license to come in the mail to start the ball rolling so I havent started anything yet. The only thing I did was change my facebook name - just so I could get used to seeing it since its something I look at everyday.

 

[marlie]

Not a newlywed but am getting married next summer. For some reason, I am struggling with the whole name change identity thing WAY more than I ever thought I would. I''ve been with FI for nearly 13 years so you''d think I''d be used to the idea of it by this point but no...it''s just weird. His last name is perfectly nice but I personally prefer my last name with my first name. I know that I want us to have the same name though. It''s just a hard thing to wrap my head around. THis thread made me feel better that I''m not the only one. All my friends seemed to do it without thinking about it!