Need Opinion. most people pick out a setting for their GF or buy solitaire and let her decide?

[HVVS]

Date: 2/20/2010 4:50:02 AM
Author: garek007
after talking to her dad and sister, I've decided I will just pick one and give it to her. She is VERy indecisive anyways, and her dad and sis seem to think picking the ring is the best option.

So then, if you do all the choosing, I (female) offer Choice #4: Spend *your* entire budget on the biggest and best center diamond that you can afford and mount it in a simple solitaire mounting. Then if simple is not her taste, and she decides wants a $5000 designer platinum setting and nothing less will do, she buys that remount with her money, and has the stone reset in in it. And you are off the hook and don't have to worry about fashions. All you have to do is pick the diamond. You can't really go wrong picking a great center stone. It will impress as-is, and it provides a great platform for a fancy mounting if that's what she wants. If it were me, I'd rather receive a bigger & stunning diamond than get a lesser or smaller diamond and a $3k setting. there is nothing "tacky" about a classic and elegant solitaire.

I have known guys who picked expensive mountings, and the gal hated it and picked something else super-expensive, and then she decided later that she wanted Setting #3 instead, and the poor guy paid for all of it. Nope. She gets to finance her whims, not you.

 

[Dancing Fire]

Date: 2/20/2010 4:50:02 AM
Author: garek007
after talking to her dad and sister, I've decided I will just pick one and give it to her. She is VERy indecisive anyways, and her dad and sis seem to think picking the ring is the best option.

aren't most women??
smart guy

cuz you will definitely be sorry if you pick a setting that she didn't like.

 

[HVVS]

Indecisive? Not I, Sir.

 

[marcy]

I am glad you are going with option 2.

 

[garek007]

why is that marcy?

 

[Laila619]

Pick something classic and simple and elegant and I'm sure she will love it!

The mistake I see a lot of guys make is they seem to be drawn to chunkier and thicker/wider settings that appeal to a man but that few women would choose on their own.

 

[cara]

Well, I vote #1 just for posterity''s sake as I''m very glad that I had input into my engagement ring. I don''t normally wear much jewelry at all, but it turns out I''m very particular! Even things that I liked pictures of didn''t look great when I tried them on, so I''m not sure how my well-meaning BF could have done as well without me there to evaluate things as well. And my dad would NOT be one to consult on that particular purchase, nor my sister actually, but certainly other families may be different.

I''m also not a girl that had wanted some romantic surprise proposal, though my guy ended up doing a great job there even though I had a hand in selecting the ring. Obviously I would have said yes to a cracker-jack ring with the right guy proposing, but this way I got a ring that I love for reasons of both style and sentiment.

 

[garek007]

laila, good call on not getting chunky jewelry. I have good taste and think I know what she will like, but yes, I think I am drawn to the chunkier stuff a bit more. If I go with my local jeweler I can make sure that if I start with a chunkier design, I can slim it down a bit to make it more elegant.

 

[kenleekenlee]

I have a feeling that the vast majority of women don''t share the same views as most here on PS. I imagine most of the fairer sex would be absolutely thrilled with just the idea of their love interest putting a ring on their hand - and wouldn''t be terribly concerned with what designer setting is holding what point, cut, clarity, etc diamond.

Think about it, you''re visiting a website whose members are comprised of people who have a well above average interest in a very specific area - shiny things and the shiny things that let them show off their shiny things.

Imagine an average person, Joe Sixpack - if you gifted him with a TV, he''d be blown away and as long as it turns on and lets him watch the Winter Olympics (is anyone else watching? it''s exciting stuff!), it''s all good. Now take someone from a group of people with an above average interest in TV specs, say, an AVSForum member. Then it goes from being blown away to ''I wish he would have asked me what TV to get, because blah, blah, blah, contrast ratio, black level, gamma curve...'' etc. Perhaps giving a bottle of wine to a wine snob would have been a better analogy, but I hope you get my point.

Everyone should understand this concept before joining random communities and asking opinions - most of the time, they''ll strongly lean to one side. I also feel that those giving opinions also need to be cognizant of this, too, and perhaps not push too hard in one direction. There''s a proverb - something something grain of salt...

/diatribe(sorry, I meant no offense to anyone)

By the way, A+ on deciding for yourself. I''ll be in your shoes in a few months...

 

[garek007]

kenlee, a VERY good point. There is nothing wrong with the people who visit this forum by any means, BUT you are right that they are more educated on this stuff and thus have higher expectations. I think I knew this somewhat subconsciously and it helped my follow her dad and her sister''s advice. The bottom line is that I know her better than the people posting here and while I appreciate the comments, in the end I think I know what she will be ok with.

I like the idea of making it a ''gift'' and while I know that she would love to pick out her own setting, part of her will be like "why didn''t you just pick one, now I have to figure it out." She really HATES making decisions.

Thanks for the very astute observation.

 

[CharmyPoo]

I just wanted to also reassure you on your decision. 80% of my female friends did not have a say in their engagement ring and it was a surprise for them. 15% knew it was coming and gave ideas such as the diamond shape and types of settings they liked with the ultimate decision being up to the guy. The other 5% was completely involved - I fit into this category. I wanted it to be a surprise but I got so curious and my fiance knows I want my hands in everything .. didn''t feel comfortable making a choice without me.

 

[IceExplorer]

Date: 2/21/2010 2:15:14 AM
Author: kenleekenlee
I have a feeling that the vast majority of women don't share the same views as most here on PS. I imagine most of the fairer sex would be absolutely thrilled with just the idea of their love interest putting a ring on their hand - and wouldn't be terribly concerned with what designer setting is holding what point, cut, clarity, etc diamond.


Think about it, you're visiting a website whose members are comprised of people who have a well above average interest in a very specific area - shiny things and the shiny things that let them show off their shiny things.


Imagine an average person, Joe Sixpack - if you gifted him with a TV, he'd be blown away and as long as it turns on and lets him watch the Winter Olympics (is anyone else watching? it's exciting stuff!), it's all good. Now take someone from a group of people with an above average interest in TV specs, say, an AVSForum member. Then it goes from being blown away to 'I wish he would have asked me what TV to get, because blah, blah, blah, contrast ratio, black level, gamma curve...' etc. Perhaps giving a bottle of wine to a wine snob would have been a better analogy, but I hope you get my point.


Everyone should understand this concept before joining random communities and asking opinions - most of the time, they'll strongly lean to one side. I also feel that those giving opinions also need to be cognizant of this, too, and perhaps not push too hard in one direction. There's a proverb - something something grain of salt...


/diatribe(sorry, I meant no offense to anyone)


By the way, A+ on deciding for yourself. I'll be in your shoes in a few months...

I think your opinion and examples hold a lot a validity. The people on here are a tremendous resource and absolute top notch with dissecting each aspect and converting their professional lingo into layman terms for the rest of us. THANKS EVERYONE! With that in mind, most have a passion for diamonds that the average person, male or female doesn't have.

My GF doesn't frequent jewellery forums, browse diamonds or settings at the mall or antique shop nor has she showed any interest in the 4 c's. My knowledge thus far (as limited as it is) far exceeds what hers will ever be. She's more into shoes than diamonds... LOL

My initial motivation for coming here was to save money and find value. Shortly after lurking I realized that I needed to increase my knowledge base to accomplish either. I can say, without hesitation, I've accomplished what I set out, thanks to this great community. I'm truly enjoying this whole experience thanks to the knowledge I've gained here. I can only assume Garek007 feels the same. Kenleekenlee, I'm sure you will too, if you don't already.

Kenleekenlee, if I may? If you are using your real name or a name that your GF might recognize, you might want to change it.

garek007 - Keep up the posting. I enjoy reading what you are going through, we are running virtually parallel with our time lines on this project. To top it off, it sounds like our GF's are very similar. I gave the 'go ahead' on the CAD design yesterday, I'll post when I get the results back.

 

[garek007]

IceExp, will keep posting for sure. It''s funny you''re just getting into the CAD, I''m visiting a local jeweler this Wednesday, so I am right behind you

My GF doesn''t frequent jewellery forums, browse diamonds or settings at the mall or antique shop nor has she showed any interest in the 4 c''s. My knowledge thus far (as limited as it is) far exceeds what hers will ever be. She''s more into shoes than diamonds... LOL

This is so true. I am trying to decide between two diamonds right now, and I am leaning for the higher quality diamond, a VVS1 G color as opposed to a VS1 H color. The truth is, most average people, unless they have done their research, don''t even know what the four C''s mean. So to them there is virtually no difference between a G VVS1 and an H VS1.

When I started educating myself in the beginning of January I was dreading it. I bought three books from Amazon before I found pricescope, and I really wish I hadn''t. I''ve barely opened them. I feel like an expert now (I know I''m not). Terms like ''eye-clean'', ASET, IS, girdle, crown height, etc. all mean something to me and I don''t have to look them up when I read them. It''s great!

In the end I may end up going with the higher quality diamond, simply because it''s a good price and "I will know" that it is the higher quality. It would be nice to own such a rare stone.

 

[kenleekenlee]

IceExp,

I appreciate the suggestion to use something other than my name as a forum username, but my SO isn''t really the type to keep tabs on my internet activity - she''d rather take her puppy to the park. That said, who knows? She knows it''s coming, and I probably won''t divulge all my secrets here anyways.

I''m glad no one took my post the wrong way. The internet can be a tricky place to navigate.

Again, best wishes to you, garek007! I hope you''re having as much fun as I am learning about diamonds.

 

[HVVS]

Don''t forget that receiving a diamond is going to make most women curious enough to start learning about them, even if they haven''t up until now.

 

[IceExplorer]

Date: 2/21/2010 1:37:49 PM
Author: garek007
IceExp, will keep posting for sure. It''s funny you''re just getting into the CAD, I''m visiting a local jeweler this Wednesday, so I am right behind you

.....

In the end I may end up going with the higher quality diamond, simply because it''s a good price and ''I will know'' that it is the higher quality. It would be nice to own such a rare stone.

Are you going to design a setting or pick out the diamond?

Much like you, I chose to go with better stats in a diamond because a) I feel like it was a really good value b) after gaining all the knowledge here *I* wanted a great performing diamond for her.

When I initially started this process, my budget was much higher because I reviewed a few samples at mall and local jewellery stores. Most of the samples I looked at had stats that were several lower and about 20% smaller than what I ended up with. I ended up with an 1.215 H&A F-SI1.

I''ve only told one person (who has shopped for and purchased a couple of diamonds) about the purchase and this was the response I got:
How big is it?
What did it appraise at?

There were no other questions asked and I didn''t offer any further information. Those 2 questions alone were enough of an indication that my newly gained knowledge wouldn''t be valued much. So, if your choice is based on the fact that ''you will know'', it''s a great reason. Someone has a signature that says something like: It''s better to have a mind cleandiamond. It seems to hold true.

 

[Chasester]

Date: 2/21/2010 11:02:27 PM
Author: IceExplorer

Date: 2/21/2010 1:37:49 PM

Author: garek007

IceExp, will keep posting for sure. It''s funny you''re just getting into the CAD, I''m visiting a local jeweler this Wednesday, so I am right behind you

.....


In the end I may end up going with the higher quality diamond, simply because it''s a good price and ''I will know'' that it is the higher quality. It would be nice to own such a rare stone.

Are you going to design a setting or pick out the diamond?


Much like you, I chose to go with better stats in a diamond because a) I feel like it was a really good value b) after gaining all the knowledge here *I* wanted a great performing diamond for her.


When I initially started this process, my budget was much higher because I reviewed a few samples at mall and local jewellery stores. Most of the samples I looked at had stats that were several lower and about 20% smaller than what I ended up with. I ended up with an 1.215 H&A F-SI1.


I''ve only told one person (who has shopped for and purchased a couple of diamonds) about the purchase and this was the response I got:

How big is it?

What did it appraise at?


There were no other questions asked and I didn''t offer any further information. Those 2 questions alone were enough of an indication that my newly gained knowledge wouldn''t be valued much. So, if your choice is based on the fact that ''you will know'', it''s a great reason. Someone has a signature that says something like: It''s better to have a mind cleandiamond. It seems to hold true.

Boy isn''t that the truth. I almost doubled my price range that I wanted to spend - and winding up with a much better diamond and 1 ct vs .75 ct. Naturally my price range was just shy of a so-so diamond for 2 ct. So I opted for the smaller 1ct and went with quality as well.

With my GF and I, I knew the style she wanted but I was really concerned with the slight variations in designs that to me indicated comfort or not. I don''t want to chance it so I''m getting a basic solitaire setting and will let her design what she wants for a setting.

It''s what will work for me, she''ll be a bit OCD in this area - who could blame her.


But fortunately for us (except sometimes). All women are different. Kudos for knowing yours

 

[garek007]

Ice Exp,

I''m buying the diamond loose and then will take it to a local jeweler to have it set. I will look at settings and probably start with one and slightly modify it to make it what I really want.

The mind clean thing is so true.