need some advice

[Bia]

Date: 4/3/2009 3:56:41 PM
Author: Jessie702
metallica.....more like whimptallica.....lol......its all about Iron Maiden, La Guns, Motely Crue, Early Bon Jovi, Judas Priest and Deep Purple

......lol.....i like early Metallica, dont like their current stuff.....sorry, i am a HUGE music fan, i sing myself, play piano and come from musical background....so dont even get me started on music...lol

Well Iron Maiden, they''re on another level when it comes to Metal. Not into Mötley Crüe, or Bon Jovi for that matter. Judas Priest..fathers, I tell you.

And btw, I agree that their new stuff is kind of weak

 

[ladypirate]

Date: 4/3/2009 4:42:14 PM
Author: Bia

Date: 4/3/2009 3:56:41 PM
Author: Jessie702
metallica.....more like whimptallica.....lol......its all about Iron Maiden, La Guns, Motely Crue, Early Bon Jovi, Judas Priest and Deep Purple

......lol.....i like early Metallica, dont like their current stuff.....sorry, i am a HUGE music fan, i sing myself, play piano and come from musical background....so dont even get me started on music...lol

Well Iron Maiden, they''re on another level when it comes to Metal. Not into Mötley Crüe, or Bon Jovi for that matter. Judas Priest..fathers, I tell you.

And btw, I agree that their new stuff is kind of weak

WHAT?!?!?!?!??!?

Bia, no! Come back to the light!!!

 

[trillionaire]

Date: 4/3/2009 3:32:01 PM
Author: princesss
Chiming in late, but better late than never, right?

There are differences and then there are DIFFERENCES. At least in my world. I like that BF and I are different. We have different backgrounds and different interests. Not all of them match up, but the important ones do. There are things for me that are deal breakers. For instance, if BF felt he was incapable of living outside of the US, we''d be done. Over. Kaput. Because that''s a part of me that I *love*, and I won''t give it up.

But if your differences are negotiables, take up some hobbies by yourself and with friends, and then maybe take up one of his hobbies in return for him doing one of yours. I joined an ultimate frisbee league because my BF loves it, and it''s a big part of his life. Would I have done it on my own? Heck no. But I really enjoy it now. And it gives us something to do together and something to bond over. Plus he''s super cute when he tries to teach me something new.

BF moved down here to be with me, and has embraced the idea of moving overseas and traveling. He had traveled a bit before we got together, but nothing like what I want to do. He''s shown me he''s willing to do the things I think are important, and I make an effort to try the things he feels are important.

But really, we''re 22 (I turn 23 in May, so I''m not much younger than you are), and our main focus needs to be developing ourselves, in or out of a relationship. So do the things you want to do. Go the places you want to go. If he doesn''t go with you, he can have a souvenier. I went to Paris by myself a few years ago (and go again in a week and a half...with family this time, though) and it was wonderful. I got to have the experience I wanted without worrying about him hating it (and he really, REALLY hates Paris). So go! Develop thyself! Enjoy thyself! Have FUN! And I wouldn''t be surprised if your BF loves the invigorated, happy you that comes with doing the things you love. And if not, you''ll have the confidence to know that you can have fun and lead a full life as well by yourself as you can in a relationship, and you''ll be able to do what''s best for you. But I don''t think that necessarily needs to happen anytime soon.

 

[phoenixgirl]

I agree that your post is about two different issues -- planning the future and wondering if you are a right fit with each other. You should decide the latter first.

I have a similar story. DH and I started dating when we were 20 (him) and 18 (me). He gave me a promise ring in college. I always thought engagement was just a year or two off. As a sophomore I thought, well, I could engaged the summer before senior year. Then I''d have graduated by the time we get married. But I really wasn''t ready--those were just idle fantasies. DH proposed about two years out of college (after his dad asked him, "So why haven''t you married that girl yet?" . . . I''m not sure he would have thought of it on his own!), and we got married at 26 and 24. I''m sure if you had asked me at the time when I wanted to have kids, I would have said in 2 or 3 years. But now we''re having our first baby this fall, when we''ll be 31 and 29, 11 years after we met and started talking about getting married and having kids! Time is on your side, and there is no need to commit to a time line now. You''d probably just end up changing your mind anyway!

I don''t think you need to have exactly the same interests; then you might risk not being your "own people." But I do think that ideally you''d appreciate them, that your SO would like it when you read and learn new things and tell him about them. You don''t have to like mud truck driving if he does it only often enough that you get some nice alone time then too. Over the course of our relationship one or both of us has been: a smoker, a member of a rock band, really religious, really not religious, a cycling fanatic, a lazy person who watches tv all the time, an in shape person who works out all the time, etc. The important thing is that we''ve evolved and changed together. We got in shape together. We changed our religious preferences together. Those are the forks in the road you will face now before you decide to get married, where you either find a way to still be a team or decide you need to go your separate ways. Once you get married the decision is already made for you, so you must find that way to stay united somehow.

It sounds like both of you are having doubts . . . he''s not talking about engagement very much and now wants to wait 7 years to get married. You''re wondering about his lack of appreciation for your intellectual and artistic pursuits and your desire for adventure and travel. This might be one of those forks in the road. There''s no right or wrong answer in terms of parting ways or finding a way to stay together as long as you stay true to who you are and what you really want.

 

[Jessie702]

I agree Maiden is one a WHOLE different level when it comes to Metal, but if you listen to the music from Maiden, it just moves you. Run to the hills is ONE of my favorites from them. Ehhhhh, im more of a early Bon Jovi Fan, Little Runaway is my favorite from them. And your right Priest and Deep purple are thee FATHERS when it comes to metal. Have you ever heard of a band Giuffera.....they are pretty good, never got really big here.....its a shame

 

[monarch64]

Date: 4/3/2009 3:36:19 PM
Author: elledizzy5

Date: 4/3/2009 3:31:31 PM
Author: Bia

Date: 4/3/2009 3:03:40 PM
Author: dragonfly411
sounds like I need to go educate myself on metallica. BRB lol

LOL

Elle and I are metal heads dragonfly, so don''t necessarily take our words for it hehehe. Beware, they take some getting used to if you''re not into heavy metal

ETA: Glad you''re feeling better sweetie

Erm, where did you find those sweet little emoties with the pinky and forefingers up?

And I really DO like Metallica, I just don''t happen to be world''s number one fan and think they''re the be-all and end-all...my tastes reach farther and into different genres than some of the men I''ve dated or been married to, ha ha. I meant no offense to any of you rockin'' gals who love them some Metallica!

 

[dragonfly411]

I wanted to update quickly. SO seems to understand how I''ve been feeling and is working with me on things. On Saturday he brought me lunch at work, and we spent the evening together. Sunday he loaded my kayak before I was even out the door, and asked me about it all evening when we got home. And it looks as though we''ll be getting an apartment very very soon which is a nice step forward. He''s also helping me get starter plants for my garden