Need some perspective on co-worker behavior

[Gypsy]

That's so funny.

 

[arkieb1]

One more thing. She makes well over 6 figures.

If she really needed it I could understand it but yep that is really bizzare. Glad you got a new cup, I doubt I would want it back now either......

 

[LaraOnline]

Let me get this straight...
it's either paper cups or bring your own banged up unloved mug to work.
This woman found a banged up unloved mug and then washed it and used it rather than going for a disposable cup.

She was drinking from it - I think - and you came over mid beverage to say it was your mug and you left it behind...but you refrained from telling her that you had either bought another mug to replace it or needed that one back...she was using it at that second as she prefers it to a paper cup...
as the end of the work day she tracks you down and says hey did you want your mug back, and you say no...

maybe I'm missing a little in the cultural translation.. but... I want to say 'passive aggressive' but that seems a little harsh lol
Maybe just a few 'mixed messages' coming from you?

At the end of the day funny little interaction and I wouldn't read too much into it.
fun thread though

 

[Polished]

I think it might be more What The Hell from your end because you're in the know that it's your mug. Also people who are rich can sometimes be oddly parsimonious over certain things.

 

[baby monster]

Let me get this straight...
it's either paper cups or bring your own banged up unloved mug to work.
This woman found a banged up unloved mug and then washed it and used it rather than going for a disposable cup.

She was drinking from it - I think - and you came over mid beverage to say it was your mug and you left it behind...but you refrained from telling her that you had either bought another mug to replace it or needed that one back...she was using it at that second as she prefers it to a paper cup...
as the end of the work day she tracks you down and says hey did you want your mug back, and you say no...

maybe I'm missing a little in the cultural translation.. but... I want to say 'passive aggressive' but that seems a little harsh lol
Maybe just a few 'mixed messages' coming from you?

At the end of the day funny little interaction and I wouldn't read too much into it.
fun thread though

Well, possession is 9/10 ownership and I wasn't about to do a repo job on a coffee mug

would it be less passive to say that I want the mug back and then throw it straight in the garbage because the thought of drinking from it after her revolts me?

 

[baby monster]

I think it might be more What The Hell from your end because you're in the know that it's your mug. Also people who are rich can sometimes be oddly parsimonious over certain things.

Yes, thank you. Odd it is.

 

[baby monster]

Maybe she's got a "sterilizers - keepers" kind of philosophy?

Heeheee. Although I wonder how well can you ever sterilize plastic. What if the previous owner had a communicable disease?

 

[momhappy]

Let me get this straight...
it's either paper cups or bring your own banged up unloved mug to work.
This woman found a banged up unloved mug and then washed it and used it rather than going for a disposable cup.

She was drinking from it - I think - and you came over mid beverage to say it was your mug and you left it behind...but you refrained from telling her that you had either bought another mug to replace it or needed that one back...she was using it at that second as she prefers it to a paper cup...
as the end of the work day she tracks you down and says hey did you want your mug back, and you say no...

maybe I'm missing a little in the cultural translation.. but... I want to say 'passive aggressive' but that seems a little harsh lol
Maybe just a few 'mixed messages' coming from you?

At the end of the day funny little interaction and I wouldn't read too much into it.
fun thread though

Well, would it be less passive to say that I want the mug back and then throw it straight in the garbage because the thought of drinking from it after her revolts me? Would you say it's too aggressive then?

It's entirely possible that the woman might be thinking the same thing. She might be thinking that you wouldn't want the cup back because she drank out of it, which is why she didn't offer to give it back. In all fairness, you didn't ask for it back. It was probably an awkward situation for her too. She probably thought that some random stranger left their coffee cup and it was a finders-keepers sort of thing. To her surprise, it ended up being the lost cup of her co-worker. She was maybe caught off-guard and unsure how to respond. I admit that it may be a bit odd to find, sterilize, and use a coffee cup, but I think some people are being a bit harsh in their criticism of her. Again, we don't know her and we don't know that she doesn't have some sort of underlying issues that we might not be aware of.

 

[LaraOnline]

would it be less passive to say that I want the mug back and then throw it straight in the garbage because the thought of drinking from it after her revolts me?

Yes, that's the aggressive part of passive agressive lol
But let me ask you this: why were you drinking coffee in the toilet in the first place?
Didn't your mother raise you right?

 

[baby monster]

It's entirely possible that the woman might be thinking the same thing. She might be thinking that you wouldn't want the cup back because she drank out of it, which is why she didn't offer to give it back. In all fairness, you didn't ask for it back. It was probably an awkward situation for her too. She probably thought that some random stranger left their coffee cup and it was a finders-keepers sort of thing. To her surprise, it ended up being the lost cup of her co-worker. She was maybe caught off-guard and unsure how to respond. I admit that it may be a bit odd to find, sterilize, and use a coffee cup, but I think some people are being a bit harsh in their criticism of her. Again, we don't know her and we don't know that she doesn't have some sort of underlying issues that we might not be aware of.

Can you let me know why you think that matters? If I found something and a person came up to me saying it was theirs, I'd immediately hand it over. No discussion of whether the person wants it or not. It wasn't mine to begin with so the person gets to decide what to do.

 

[TooPatient]

It's entirely possible that the woman might be thinking the same thing. She might be thinking that you wouldn't want the cup back because she drank out of it, which is why she didn't offer to give it back. In all fairness, you didn't ask for it back. It was probably an awkward situation for her too. She probably thought that some random stranger left their coffee cup and it was a finders-keepers sort of thing. To her surprise, it ended up being the lost cup of her co-worker. She was maybe caught off-guard and unsure how to respond. I admit that it may be a bit odd to find, sterilize, and use a coffee cup, but I think some people are being a bit harsh in their criticism of her. Again, we don't know her and we don't know that she doesn't have some sort of underlying issues that we might not be aware of.

Can you let me know why you think that matters? If I found something and a person came up to me saying it was theirs, I'd immediately hand it over. No discussion of whether the person wants it or not. It wasn't mine to begin with so the person gets to decide what to do.

Anything short of cash they watched me pick up or jewelry, I agree with the bolded! (and for cash or jewelry, if I knew the person and had reason to believe them I'd hand it over then too!)

I still can't get past --- EWWWWW!!

Who picks up a plastic cup from a bathroom and decides to start using it?!?! I don't care how new it looks, I'd never do this!

If it is a bathroom for employees only, she should have just left it in hopes the owner would come back for it or taken it to a lost/found or break room or whatever you guys have there.

If it is a restroom open to the public..... even bigger EEEWWWWWWWWWW!!!

 

[momhappy]

It's entirely possible that the woman might be thinking the same thing. She might be thinking that you wouldn't want the cup back because she drank out of it, which is why she didn't offer to give it back. In all fairness, you didn't ask for it back. It was probably an awkward situation for her too. She probably thought that some random stranger left their coffee cup and it was a finders-keepers sort of thing. To her surprise, it ended up being the lost cup of her co-worker. She was maybe caught off-guard and unsure how to respond. I admit that it may be a bit odd to find, sterilize, and use a coffee cup, but I think some people are being a bit harsh in their criticism of her. Again, we don't know her and we don't know that she doesn't have some sort of underlying issues that we might not be aware of.

Can you let me know why you think that matters? If I found something and a person came up to me saying it was theirs, I'd immediately hand it over. No discussion of whether the person wants it or not. It wasn't mine to begin with so the person gets to decide what to do.

It matters because just because you can say with 100% certainty you'd know how you would respond in this situation, doesn't mean that everyone else would respond in the same way. Maybe she didn't handle it the way she intended to (because she was caught off-guard) and she regretted it, which might explain why she chatted you up and offerd to give it back later.
Also, why is it any more "ew" than going to a coffee shop, ordering s cup of coffee, and drinking it out of a mug that probably hundreds of other people have used? I, personally, wouldn't "recycle" a found coffee cup by sterilizing and using it, but technically-speaking, she probably assumed that a privately-owned coffee cup has been used less than one owned by a restaurant.
Again, I can't hep but feel that some folks are being a bit harsh here. I don't want to go into any personal detail, but I have a child who is very socially-awkward and maybe that makes me more sensitive to people that we might consider to be odd. I have actually seen/heard other children call my child a "weirdo" and that sucks. Sometimes, there are reasons why folks are odd and unless we know those reasons, we should try to give them the benefit of the doubt.
Was your coffee cup situation strange? Absolutely. However, if it happened to me, I would cut her some slack, write my name across the front of my new coffee cup with a Sharpie, and move on with life.

 

[Loves Vintage]

Let me get this straight...
it's either paper cups or bring your own banged up unloved mug to work.
This woman found a banged up unloved mug and then washed it and used it rather than going for a disposable cup.

She was drinking from it - I think - and you came over mid beverage to say it was your mug and you left it behind...but you refrained from telling her that you had either bought another mug to replace it or needed that one back...she was using it at that second as she prefers it to a paper cup...
as the end of the work day she tracks you down and says hey did you want your mug back, and you say no...

maybe I'm missing a little in the cultural translation.. but... I want to say 'passive aggressive' but that seems a little harsh lol
Maybe just a few 'mixed messages' coming from you?

At the end of the day funny little interaction and I wouldn't read too much into it.
fun thread though

Well, possession is 9/10 ownership and I wasn't about to do a repo job on a coffee mug

would it be less passive to say that I want the mug back and then throw it straight in the garbage because the thought of drinking from it after her revolts me?

I have to ask -- do you have other issues with this woman? Is it possible that perhaps she has some issues with you too, and just didn't want to deal with you when you first asked her about it? Or maybe she had something more pressing to tend to at that moment?

 

[partgypsy]

Maybe she's "Bedullin" from the Ranger's Apprentice series (Erak's Ransom).
Will loses his beloved horse in a sandstorm and almost dies trying to find the horse. The A member of the Bedullin find the horse which means it is now that person's horse. The same group later rescues him from certain death. They are curious yet puzzled by Will's insistence that it is his horse. They say to him "Well it seems obvious it was your horse, your horse recognized you, but it is now (names) horse." (Emotional protests from Will). "If you liked the horse, why did you let it go?"
I didn't let him go, we were separated in the storm!". "You let go of the reins?" "yes. "So you lost the horse." "Yes".
They patiently have to explain in this world, that he lost possesion of his horse. Whoever found the horse, it is theirs.

This was humorous. I think the behavior was strange, in that I would immediately offer the mug back. To be generous maybe what went through her mind was,
"This is awkward, I've been using a co-worker's mug, I should offer it back. However now that I'm been using HER mug (awkward) would she even want it back? ... probably not." Walk away.

 

[kgizo]

I don't think its that odd since she found you later and offered it to you. You probably caught her off guard with your comment and she could have been distracted or embarrassed. There have been many times at work where ive heard something but my mind is on my next meeting so it doesn't register until I slow down a little.

While I would not do this, I know many, many people buy consignment clothes bc they are big into living with a small foot print. For me, it grosses me out. For those of us who have bought preloved jewelry, did you thoroughly sanitize before wearing? To each their own.

 

[baby monster]

Thank you to everyone who indulged me with a response. I decided not to expend any additional mental energy on this so no further discussion necessary.

 

[LaraOnline]

It's entirely possible that the woman might be thinking the same thing. She might be thinking that you wouldn't want the cup back because she drank out of it, which is why she didn't offer to give it back. In all fairness, you didn't ask for it back. It was probably an awkward situation for her too. She probably thought that some random stranger left their coffee cup and it was a finders-keepers sort of thing. To her surprise, it ended up being the lost cup of her co-worker. She was maybe caught off-guard and unsure how to respond. I admit that it may be a bit odd to find, sterilize, and use a coffee cup, but I think some people are being a bit harsh in their criticism of her. Again, we don't know her and we don't know that she doesn't have some sort of underlying issues that we might not be aware of.

Can you let me know why you think that matters? If I found something and a person came up to me saying it was theirs, I'd immediately hand it over. No discussion of whether the person wants it or not. It wasn't mine to begin with so the person gets to decide what to do.

She probably just wanted to finish her cup of coffee she'd just made lol.
Or at least get half a dozen gulps down before tipping the rest away and handing the darn cup back.

All the best to you baby monster!

 

[hippi_pixi]

I still can't get past --- EWWWWW!!

Who picks up a plastic cup from a bathroom and decides to start using it?!?! I don't care how new it looks, I'd never do this!

If it is a bathroom for employees only, she should have just left it in hopes the owner would come back for it or taken it to a lost/found or break room or whatever you guys have there.

If it is a restroom open to the public..... even bigger EEEWWWWWWWWWW!!!

I don't understand why most people have glossed over this bit!

I have no problem drinking out of a mug someone else has drunk out of but i would never drink out of a strange mug found in a bathroom. Not even after 'sterilising'. Even if i left my own mug in a bathroom i wouldn't want to use it again, it'd be in the bin.

A common concept on PS is 'mind clean'. A mug in a bathroom regardless of its previous history is never going to be mindclean for me.

Mmm this coffee tastes like crap!