Negative registry experience so far?

[misysu2]

We''ve just recently had our first couple of purchases off of our wedding registry and I was really excited. Then, FI''s bro called to tell us we have a lot of extraneous stuff on it and that we should remove some. Then FI looked at my list and scoffed, "uh, outdoor fireplace? that''s so silly!" (he didn''t want to be involved with the registry, because all he wants is a bowflex, and knows that''s not going to happen).

I feel like the registry''s a good mix of fun and practical, expensive and not-so. I hate that people are already trashing on it. Is this what''s going to happen for all of the other guests as they look at it? Why are people being so critical?! I was so excited about the registry and finally getting some buyers! Now I feel like I''m getting dumped on.

Anyone else have this experience?

 

[Haven]

I haven''t had this experience because I, well, haven''t actually added anything to our registry yet.
HOWEVER, although everyone is entitled to his opinion that doesn''t mean that it should always be SHARED. It sounds like your FBIL needs a registry of his own. The first item: Miss Manners'' Guide to Excruciatingly Correct Behavior.

I wouldn''t sweat it, sounds like you''re dealing with someone who''s trying to spread his unhappiness around. If you want to put individually wrapped Jelly Bellies on your registry, then by all means do it. People are not obligated to purchase from your registry, and you are certainly not obligated to make anyone but yourselves happy with your choices. And outdoor fireplaces are AMAZING, I hope it''s the first thing purchased for you!

 

[sumbride]

Some people are just judgmental. Are the people complaining typical complainers?

Registries are both "wish lists" and "practical". They are a place for you to say "hey, I like this and it would be great in our life... buy it if you are so inclined... but you don''t have to." And I happen to think an outdoor fireplace is an awesome registry gift!

As long as you have a mix of price ranges, this is one of the times where you just have to turn a deaf ear and ignore the complaints!

 

[Cleopatra]

Hi Misysu

!! I''m sort of worried about the whole "registry scolding" ... I set up our registry last week at Bed Bath and Beyond - FI didn''t help because he didn''t care....ha.

I have nothing extravagant on it - no china, no $600 vacuum or anything like that - just lots of little odds and ends that we would like to make our home an "entertainment home" - because we love to throw dinner parties. The most expensive thing I have on my registry is a $200 down comforter - because we''ve BEEN needing a new comforter. I mainly have things in $50 range and $100 range - only a handful of things over $100.

I went to an engagement party recently and the couple registered before the party - and I did overhear many people saying how extravagant their registry was - i think you will always have judgmental people who think that you are expecting to receive these gifts...

Register for whatever you want! If you want a fire-pit - register for it! At least, after the wedding, you can buy it with your registry completion program and get a good percentage off!

 

[misysu2]

Thanks ladies. You do know how to make a girl feel better. FBIL/BEST MAN gets on my nerves because he talked smack about my registry then bought us a $15 knife from it. AND, he set up a REGISTRY for his own CHRISTMAS PRESENTS. Geez. Now I know what it's like to have siblings.

I'm VERY excited because FI and I just found out he was accepted to a residency program in Tacoma Washington, and it was BOTH of our first choices! And we're planning on buying our first house there, and we'll finally have some income, and life is about to get exciting!!!

I'm going to have to veto FI on the fireplace, because he will NOT be complaining when we're sitting on our big deck in Washington state in front of our fire!!

 

[Sabine]

Awe, I haven''t had any comments on my registry yet, but I just wanted to say CONGRATS on your FI getting your first choice residency program! That is so exciting!

 

[Cleopatra]

Yaaaay! Congrats Misy! How exciting!!!

And definitely do NOT take that fire-pit off! That would be absolutely awesome in that freezing cold! Plus, I tend to buy gifts similar to that off of registries....it''s something different and unique! I like it!! If we had a porch/backyard, I think I''d put a fire-pit on our registry too!!!!

And LOL about a registry for Christmas Gifts! I''ve never heard of people doing that!!!!! WOW!

 

[misysu2]

Thanks Sabine and Cleo! We're super excited! FI's going to be a pathologist and I get to quit this suck job I'm in now and concentrate on my museum career...

I actually just added this to the registry-- http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0898868297/ref=wl_it_dp?ie=UTF8&coliid=I31YFVHUWUO83V&colid=33R1BCKJE3FX1

 

[Cleopatra]

Museum career?! Misysu - we ARE PS soulmates! I have an Art History degree and am moving at the end of next year for my OWN museum career!!!! HA!

 

[misysu2]

So funny Cleo! I have a MA in Anthropology and will now be able to get a certificate in museum studies at U WASH!

Come visit me!! haha!

 

[Gypsy]

Congrats misysu and FI!!!

That''s great news that you will be in a position to purchase a house, and that you will be able to pursue your own career!

As for the FBIL... he''s obviously just a PITA frankly, and wanting to spread his misery around. Ignore him as much as possible. And keep the fire pit. I''ve never cared what anyone has put on their registry... as long as there is a good mix of price ranges what does it matter?

 

[laine]

I bought a wedding gift recently, and noticed that the couples registry was like 12 pages long, and that they had registered for every appliance known to man and about 15 towels. In addition, they were trying to keep their wedding smallish and expected money from his side of the family, so this just seemed kinda crazy (though I never said a word to them--that would be rude!). However, as long as you haven''t registered for everything in the store like this couple did, I''m sure you''re fine! It sounds like you put some thought into having some things that will appeal to everyone, which is really nice. And the fireplace sounds great, hope you get it!

 

[partyjewels]

There have been a few times when looking at registries (mainly weird things, IMO on baby registries) that I''ve had a little "really?" moment, but I''ve never said anything to anyone because it''s not like I was being forced to buy it, so it wasn''t a big deal. And some places have that awesome deal if you buy things off of your registry after the wedding date. That being said, I think the fire pit makes perfect sense, and you should definately leave it on! If FI and I didn''t already own a fire pit for our patio we''d be putting it on our registry!

 

[rainbowtrout]

*looks EXTREMELY sheepish*

I have the Dyson Animal on my registry.....

We have 15 towels, too, I bet, if you count all together 4 big towels, 4 washcloths, 4 handtowels, and a bathmat.

And a down comforter

Haha perhaps we are one of *those* couples...but no one is expected to buy us all or everything on it, so I just see it as giving people choice.

 

[Sassee]

Date: 12/19/2007 3:44:50 PM
Author: misysu2
Thanks ladies. You do know how to make a girl feel better. FBIL/BEST MAN gets on my nerves because he talked smack about my registry then bought us a $15 knife from it. AND, he set up a REGISTRY for his own CHRISTMAS PRESENTS. Geez. Now I know what it''s like to have siblings.

I''m VERY excited because FI and I just found out he was accepted to a residency program in Tacoma Washington, and it was BOTH of our first choices! And we''re planning on buying our first house there, and we''ll finally have some income, and life is about to get exciting!!!

I''m going to have to veto FI on the fireplace, because he will NOT be complaining when we''re sitting on our big deck in Washington state in front of our fire!!

Oh my goodness. I just read your line that he is setting up a registry for Christmas presents. Surely, its tongue in cheek??!!!

 

[misysu2]

Date: 12/19/2007 6:11:43 PM
Author: Sassee

Date: 12/19/2007 3:44:50 PM
Author: misysu2
Thanks ladies. You do know how to make a girl feel better. FBIL/BEST MAN gets on my nerves because he talked smack about my registry then bought us a $15 knife from it. AND, he set up a REGISTRY for his own CHRISTMAS PRESENTS. Geez. Now I know what it''s like to have siblings.

I''m VERY excited because FI and I just found out he was accepted to a residency program in Tacoma Washington, and it was BOTH of our first choices! And we''re planning on buying our first house there, and we''ll finally have some income, and life is about to get exciting!!!

I''m going to have to veto FI on the fireplace, because he will NOT be complaining when we''re sitting on our big deck in Washington state in front of our fire!!

Oh my goodness. I just read your line that he is setting up a registry for Christmas presents. Surely, its tongue in cheek??!!!

Haha NO! It''s at one of the pricier kitchen suppliers, too. There''s about 15 items, probably just enough for one present per fam member... haha. This guy kills me.

 

[sumbride]

Hey Rainbow... don''t worry, I registered for 2 sets of towels for both bathrooms... that''s right. FOUR sets of TOWELS. And I got them. Not every couple lives in a 1 bath apartment, and even if they do, they probably won''t forever. I like having a fresh set for guests.

My registry was pretty long but we had a lot of guests. BB&B tried to tell me to register for... 900 items!!! yes, 900! They said if we had 300 families coming, we would need to offer them three choices each because of showers and wanting to have options. I looked at the "advisor", looked at my FI, looked back at the advisor and said "uh... I don''t think there are 900 items in this store that I actually want!" He then tried to tell me that it "didn''t matter"... that I should register for towels in EVERY color because the guests were going to buy the color they liked anyway, no matter what I picked, and it would be easier for me to return them if they were on the registery. I laughed hysterically, picked out towels that matched our decor, and left.

and we didn''t get any towels that WEREN''T on our registry. We did get a lot of other stuff that wasn''t though. Fitz and Floyd Barnyard Canape plate anyone???

 

[Gypsy]

Date: 12/19/2007 6:34:50 PM
Author: sumbride
We did get a lot of other stuff that wasn''t though. Fitz and Floyd Barnyard Canape plate anyone???

One word for you sumbride: EBAY.

 

[misysu2]

Date: 12/19/2007 6:56:44 PM
Author: Gypsy

Date: 12/19/2007 6:34:50 PM
Author: sumbride
We did get a lot of other stuff that wasn''t though. Fitz and Floyd Barnyard Canape plate anyone???

One word for you sumbride: EBAY.

TOO funny! Can''t wait to see what interesting things we get!

BTW, we also registered for a bunch. Maybe 8 sets of towels, new silverware, and practical things right up to the outdoor fireplace and Wii. Honestly, we NEED the practical things; they shouldn''t be scoffed at-- we have been out of college for 4 years and STILL are using upside down cardboard boxes for coffee tables.

 

[Gypsy]

Date: 12/19/2007 7:08:09 PM
Author: misysu2
Honestly, we NEED the practical things; they shouldn''t be scoffed at-- we have been out of college for 4 years and STILL are using upside down cardboard boxes for coffee tables.

Don''t feel too bad about that. I''m using plastic bins for end tables, and my coffee table is a relic from my grandfather''s garage sale cruising days. They are first on our list for furniture in the new year. We did our bedroom and part of our living area last year... but I couldn''t find tables I liked that were cat friendly AND I could afford. So... plastic bins. And I''ve been out of LAW SCHOOL for 5.5 years.

Granted the reason we even HAVE to buy these items is because the cat (FMIL''s cat Noel) destroyed our last set, but still, we''ve been in CA for a YEAR now.

 

[OUpearlgirl]

Date: 12/19/2007 4:00:23 PM
Author: Cleopatra
Museum career?! Misysu - we ARE PS soulmates! I have an Art History degree and am moving at the end of next year for my OWN museum career!!!! HA!

I'm an art history major too But I'm thinking of going into ancient jewelry appraisal..

 

[zoebartlett]

I keep looking at our registries (in particular, the one at C & B) and I feel guilty. I felt guilty that we were registering for some pricey items (wall art with leaves from C&B, a "griddler," new toaster, a Dyson Slim, table and floor lamps, among other big ticket items), so we began to add inexpensive things too. Well that led me to feel guilty that I had just put $4 dish towels and magnetic measuring spoons, and other "cheap" items that we could easily afford ourselves. I''d hate for anyone looking at our registry to think, "Man, they''re registering for THAT? They can certainly afford to buy XYZ for themselves. They''re just being greedy." Or to think "Geez, they''re asking for a bit MUCH, aren''t they?"

Yes, clearly I spend too much time thinking about this. Bottom line...we want to put variety into our registries and if we get things we''ve asked for (big or small, expensive or inexpensive), that''s great. If not, we''ll probably get it ourselves after the wedding. At least we''ve given ideas to our guests.

 

[Anastasia]

I don''t see any problem with putting expensive, "wish list", type of items on your registry. I always figure that a group of people might want to go together on a large gift from all of them. I think your FBIL has too much time on his hands!

Cleo, Misysu and OUPear girl - my eight year old daughter wants to "open a museum" when she grows up. She loves American History. We took her to the historic sites in Philadelphia recently and she was so excited. I think it is adorable that she has such an interest in museums and history. I think it would be very cool if she really does pursue it when she grows up.

 

[brazen_irish_hussy]

Yea to another anthropology major! I am getting ready for grad school to be an archaeologist right now.
The point of the registry is to make it easier for the people who are buying for you and to help you get the things you want. Most of my family have holiday registries on Amazon because it is such a perfect idea. As long as you are covering all price ranges, there is nothing to complain about. Tell your FI that if he doesn''t like your list he can do it himself and you two can compare. Nothing like putting the fear of work into him to shut him up.

 

[sumbride]

Date: 12/19/2007 6:56:44 PM
Author: Gypsy

Date: 12/19/2007 6:34:50 PM

Author: sumbride

We did get a lot of other stuff that wasn''t though. Fitz and Floyd Barnyard Canape plate anyone???

One word for you sumbride: EBAY.

It sold last month for a mere $2.99. A bargain for any Fitz & Floyd collector. We were happy to see it go!!

 

[Gypsy]

Date: 12/19/2007 10:53:38 PM
Author: sumbride

Date: 12/19/2007 6:56:44 PM
Author: Gypsy

Date: 12/19/2007 6:34:50 PM

Author: sumbride

We did get a lot of other stuff that wasn''t though. Fitz and Floyd Barnyard Canape plate anyone???

One word for you sumbride: EBAY.

It sold last month for a mere $2.99. A bargain for any Fitz & Floyd collector. We were happy to see it go!!

ROFLMAO. That''s great! Glad you got rid of it. I got a Lenox Poppies Pig Cookie jar as an engagement present. Apparently it''s a hot ticket item, I was amazing at how much it sold for on ebay (have no idea what it sold for any more, just remember my astonishment).

 

[sunnyd]

style="WIDTH: 99%; HEIGHT: 131px">I''m VERY excited because FI and I just found out he was accepted to a residency program in Tacoma Washington, and it was BOTH of our first choices! And we''re planning on buying our first house there, and we''ll finally have some income, and life is about to get exciting!!!

I''m going to have to veto FI on the fireplace, because he will NOT be complaining when we''re sitting on our big deck in Washington state in front of our fire!!

misysu, DEFINITELY don''t get rid of that fire pit! are you currently from the northwest? let me tell you how many people have outdoor fireplaces out here. my parents have 2 in their backyard!

tres populaire, and a favorite thing to do on summer nights!

 

[misysu2]

Date: 12/20/2007 7:06:48 PM
Author: sunnyd

style="WIDTH: 99%; HEIGHT: 131px">I''m VERY excited because FI and I just found out he was accepted to a residency program in Tacoma Washington, and it was BOTH of our first choices! And we''re planning on buying our first house there, and we''ll finally have some income, and life is about to get exciting!!!

I''m going to have to veto FI on the fireplace, because he will NOT be complaining when we''re sitting on our big deck in Washington state in front of our fire!!

misysu, DEFINITELY don''t get rid of that fire pit! are you currently from the northwest? let me tell you how many people have outdoor fireplaces out here. my parents have 2 in their backyard!

tres populaire, and a favorite thing to do on summer nights!

We''re currently in Houston, so it''s going to be a BIG but happy move for us.
All right!! Good to hear I''m on the right track. Registered for a hammock, too.

 

[somethingshiny]

I never had anyone say anything inappropriate about our registry. We had everything from an ice-cream scooper to a big screen TV (DH''s idea) on our list.

The only time I''ve ever heard anyone complain about any registry was when I had a cousin register for china (which no one else in my family did). It wasn''t so much that she registered for it, but that each dinner plate was nearly $200.

 

[goldenstar]

FSIL put things like furniture (bed, sofa, dining set) on their registry only because they would get a discount on whatever was not purchased at the end. Clever right?

I knew what they were doing, but it might have come off a little weird for people who didn''t. Oh well... at least they saved money when they bought their awesome sectional.