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New Diamond Ring - Terrible Mistake

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chamomiletea

Rough_Rock
Joined
Aug 16, 2016
Messages
92
I have made a terrible mistake in buying a ring and now I am not sure what to do.
The background is.. my wedding set started to not fit. I now live in hotter climate and the rings were half a size two small.
I got my engagement ring resized. My husband got nervous about this because he is a cautious person and the ring but it was OK because it is a solitare ring and it all worked out for the best.
My wedding ring is a full eternity that cannot be resized. It is a beautiful delicate ring but it no longer fits. It is now in a box while I decide what (if anything) to do with it.
My hand has felt empty without a wedding band and last week I made the mistake of buying a diamond wedding band on a whim. I got it from a local estate jewllery store. It is a beautiful ring. A 6 stone diamond ring from the 1940's. It was two thousand dollars. It was too small so they said they would resize it for me, half a size (to 5.5). They took the money, gave me a reciept, kept the ring for resizing and told me it would be ready end of this week.
I felt bad about it all weekend. The nice pieces of jewllery I have are gifts from my husband. We never make these sorts of decisions alone and I felt that it was an impulse buy, by myself with no sentiment towards the ring. I told him because I couldn't not (he's going to notice a huge sparkly new band) and he got really really really upset.
Today I decided to ask for a refund. I still don't have the ring as the store still has it but it has probably been resized by now.
I rang them up and they said they do not offer refunds at all as they are one off, estate pieces plus it has been resized (to a more popular size). They said they could possibly offer a store credit but no refunds. I said 1. They have my money but I have not picked up the ring so it's not like I have worn it and then given it back. 2. I don't want to buy anything else from the store at this moment in time. 3. I said I would pay for the resizing and suck up that cost ($100) because that seemed fair.
This ring has now loads of bad feeling attached to it. I don't want it.
Where do I stand? I would have thought that trading standards would mean I have a right to change my mind within 28 days. I am from the UK where that is standard but I do not know my consumer rights here.
I am so sick with myself. I do not want a fake wedding band which is what this now feels like. Plus the diamonds are too big for me, I got carried away. I am more of a delicate band sort of woman.
If they won't offer me a refund I feel like I have no option but to leave them with my 2,000 usd. What a stupid, expensive mistake. What should I do?
 
I did a quick Google and it would appear under federal law that there is a 3 day cooling off period which in my case is until Midnight tonight so I am assuming under that law that I am entitled to a full refund.
California state law says that refund policies should be clearly displayed (for example if they only accept store credit) and if they are not, that the customer is entitled to a 30 day full refund. I was not aware of and refund policies when I handed over my money so hopefully I am covered under this as well.
 
Read more into the cooling off period and it is not applicable in this situation. :cry:
 
You bought it and had it resized. That would void any return at most places. Sorry, but I don't see why your husband is upset when your wedding band doesn't even fit any more and can't be resized. I think the "loads of bad feelings" associated with the band are because of your husband, not the vendor (who is not in the wrong at all,) or the band.
 
It sounds like you might have a good argument with the state law though…the onus seems to be on the seller to inform you of their refund policy, which they did not do.
 
I would assume as they've effectively customised it for you (by resizing) that you lose any return rights. The more a ring is resized, the more likely there are to be issues with its integrity in the future. And that will affect resale value for the shop.

I think your option, if the shop won't change their mind as a goodwill gesture, is to go ahead with the purchase and then sell the ring (on Loupe Troop for instance) to recoup as much of your costs as possible.
 
I agree with lissyflo... sell it yourself to recoup your losses. Your original band doesn't fit so you can't use/wear that. It seems like you've just changed your mind about what type of ring to replace it with. Unfortunately - You have a case of buyers remorse, it doesn't matter why but it's certainly not the business's fault.
 
Gosh it is so different here in America. By law in the UK you are entitled to a refund within 28 days as long as the goods aren't damaged. I didn't change my mind on what band I want. I don't want any band now. If I did I could pick something else in the store. Also my husband is an amazing man. It's not his fault his errant wife went off and spent thousands of dollars of our money on something without discussing it with him first. I feel like rubbish truth be told. I'll see what the store comes back with, they didn't notify me of any refund policies so it would appear I am covered under that. If not, I guess I just threw 2k down the toilet. Expensive lesson learnt.
 
chamomiletea said:
Gosh it is so different here in America. By law in the UK you are entitled to a refund within 28 days as long as the goods aren't damaged. I didn't change my mind on what band I want. I don't want any band now. If I did I could pick something else in the store. Also my husband is an amazing man. It's not his fault his errant wife went off and spent thousands of dollars of our money on something without discussing it with him first. I feel like rubbish truth be told. I'll see what the store comes back with, they didn't notify me of any refund policies so it would appear I am covered under that. If not, I guess I just threw 2k down the toilet. Expensive lesson learnt.
Click to expand...

Most places do have a reasonable return policy, but it's voided when you alter/customize the product such as having it sized. I'm sorry you feel badly - maybe they will help you out. If not, you can try to sell it so you aren't throwing away the $$ and it's not as costly a mistake. I've learned the hard way to think long and hard about any purchases over a certain dollar amount. Buyers remorse is the worst. Good luck!
 
I am so sorry that you are feeling distressed at the moment and I can relate - I have had BAD cases of buyer's remorse. I truly hope you can work something out with the vendor. Or recoup a maximum by reselling.

However, just for future reference and warning for other readers, I'd like to point out that we've all become very accustomed to generous refund policies. This is (also in the EU and UK, as far as I know ) just a generous business practice by most vendors (except for internet shopping, because you pay without inspecting in person).
So neither in in the UK nor EU you have a right to get a refund per se.

https://www.gov.uk/accepting-returns-and-giving-refunds

I have learned this the hard way too (very
expensive sweater...) . Just because it's a fancy shop, they aren't always super customer oriented.... Most times this applies to small individual businesses, who just can't offer the same policies than, say h & m. Usually they do have a sign someplace in the shop, stating this policy.. And yes, most times you only really see it after paying :wall:
And as was pointed out above, customized items don't have to be taken back unless faulty.
So IF the jeweller didn't get the size right, you might have a claim. But as far as I know he still has the right to try and fix it ...

Best of luck and I hope everything works out for you in the end.
 
Kbell said:
Most places do have a reasonable return policy, but it's voided when you alter/customize the product such as having it sized. I'm sorry you feel badly - maybe they will help you out. If not, you can try to sell it so you aren't throwing away the $$ and it's not as costly a mistake. I've learned the hard way to think long and hard about any purchases over a certain dollar amount. Buyers remorse is the worst. Good luck!
Click to expand...
Thanks for your kind reply. I did have a bad feeling when they said it was too small. Like it wasn't meant to be. I don't know if it has been resized yet. I have been reading up and if it hasn't I am entitled to a full refund as nowhere did they say their return policy in the shop except in tiny writing at the bottom of the receipt and apparently according to law that is insufficient. They are probably quickly getting it sized now so they don't have to refund me! If I knew all sales were final I would not have bought it. I am so used to the UK policies I honestly didn't even think it would be a problem. Lesson definitely learnt for next time!
Anyway never mind. I may as well pick it up and sell it. It's probably not worth what I paid either but at least I will get something back.
 
kipari said:
I am so sorry that you are feeling distressed at the moment and I can relate - I have had BAD cases of buyer's remorse. I truly hope you can work something out with the vendor. Or recoup a maximum by reselling.

However, just for future reference and warning for other readers, I'd like to point out that we've all become very accustomed to generous refund policies. This is (also in the EU and UK, as far as I know ) just a generous business practice by most vendors (except for internet shopping, because you pay without inspecting in person).
So neither in in the UK nor EU you have a right to get a refund per se.

https://www.gov.uk/accepting-returns-and-giving-refunds

I have learned this the hard way too (very
expensive sweater...) . Just because it's a fancy shop, they aren't always super customer oriented.... Most times this applies to small individual businesses, who just can't offer the same policies than, say h & m. Usually they do have a sign someplace in the shop, stating this policy.. And yes, most times you only really see it after paying :wall:
And as was pointed out above, customized items don't have to be taken back unless faulty.
So IF the jeweller didn't get the size right, you might have a claim. But as far as I know he still has the right to try and fix it ...

Best of luck and I hope everything works out for you in the end.
Click to expand...

Thanks, at least I am not the only person to have done a silly thing. Interesting about UK laws, they are generally very generous with refund policies.
 
Yeah but Chamomiletea wasn't told, either in writing or verbally, that she wouldn't get a refund…if the info she read on-line is correct, I think she might have a case.

Trying to get this store to comply is another issue, if in fact the law is on your side Chamomiletea. I would discuss it with the store and see how they react.

I'm not unsympathetic to the store…I'm sure it's frustrating when someone changes their mind on an expensive item. But I think chamomiletea should have been told of the refund policy and the store might be at fault for not doing so.

I get that this ring has bad vibes for you Chamomiletea…my husband would probably get upset if I spent thousands of dollars without discussing it first.

There was a similar situation on PS, but it involved an internet vendor…the buyer wanted to return a stock ring that had been resized. The vendor wouldn't give her a refund because it had been resized and therefore was considered a custom piece by the vendor. Turns out the policy was on the website but the buyer missed it, and there was still a lot of arguing on PS about it, with some feeling the buyer should have been told verbally or in writing she wasn't entitled to a refund prior to purchasing.

I don't know, it's a tough situation and I hope you can work out something with the store.
 
Last edited:
junebug17 said:
Yeah but Chamomiletea wasn't told, either in writing or verbally, that she wouldn't get a refund…if the info she read on-line is correct, I think she might have a case.

Trying to get this store to comply is another issue, if in fact the law is on your side Chamomiletea. I would discuss it with the store and see how they react.

I'm not unsympathetic to the store…I'm sure it's frustrating when someone changes their mind on an expensive item. But I think chamomiletea should have been told of the refund policy and the store might be at fault for not doing so.

I get that this ring has bad vibes for you Chamomiletea…my husband would probably get upset if I spent thousands of dollars without discussing it first.

There was a similar situation on PS, but it involved an internet vendor…the buyer wanted to return a stock ring that had been resized. The vendor wouldn't give her a refund because it had been resized and therefore was considered a custom piece by the vendor. Turns out the policy was on the website but the buyer missed it, and there was still a lot of arguing on PS about it, with some feeling the buyer should have been told verbally or in writing she wasn't entitled to a refund.
Click to expand...

The owner was meant to call me back and I know she is in the store right now. I have this feeling she knows that she should have told me and is not calling me because she is waiting for the ring to be resized. They only took it to be done yesterday so there is a chance it hasn't been done. If it has I have no case. I am going to go there this afternoon as I am with my children right now.
At this point I am starting to accept the fact that I have lost all if not some of the money. I made a mistake. I should have gone with my gut and not bought it. However no where in the store does it say anything about refunds or not. If there was I would definitely have been more cautious.
 
If it makes you feel any better, you wouldn't have been entitled to a refund in the UK either. Whilst many businesses offer refunds for 'change of mind' when purchased in store, they are not required to by law. Plus, very few businesses would offer this for customised purchases, eg. even John Lewis doesn't.

[If you buy online in the UK, you are entitled to a refund for any reason whatsoever, ie. including change of mind, within 14 days - see the Consumer Contracts Regs. But customised purchases are excluded from this.]

Perhaps if you explain to your OH why you did it, you'll both start to feel better about the purchase and want to keep the ring. When I lost my wedding band, all I wanted to do was not feel 'naked' on that finger (as I can't wear my engagement ring to work) so I just bought one myself. OH was a little upset it wasn't joint / from him, but I explained how sad the loss was making me and he understood. Then, on my next significant birthday, I suggested that he buy me an eternity ring, which I could wear with the band. Which is exactly what we did.
 
Why was your husband so upset? Was it the money? If so, then maybe selling the ring to recoup at least some of the money is the way to go (and maybe sell your wedding band that you can't wear too).

If it's because he feels that he should be the one to buy you jewelry, maybe you guys can talk that one through. If you felt better about his reaction you might feel better about the ring.

Most estate stores/boutiques in North America have store credit only return policies, so you do need to be careful about making large purchases. I'm on another board where a man spent $10K on a Mikimoto strand and was only able to return it for store credit (the very next day) after his wife said she didn't like it. I felt so bad for him.
 
HI:

I cannot understand why your husband is SO upset...or continually upset: in fact, many of your posts talks of how he "loses" it. I can only surmise this is why you feel panicky and while your ring situation is unfortunate, this is not anything to be SO distressed about. Sumpin goin on......
 
chamomiletea said:
The owner was meant to call me back and I know she is in the store right now. I have this feeling she knows that she should have told me and is not calling me because she is waiting for the ring to be resized. They only took it to be done yesterday so there is a chance it hasn't been done. If it has I have no case. I am going to go there this afternoon as I am with my children right now.
At this point I am starting to accept the fact that I have lost all if not some of the money. I made a mistake. I should have gone with my gut and not bought it. However no where in the store does it say anything about refunds or not. If there was I would definitely have been more cautious.
Click to expand...

Ok Chamomiletea, I see…I've made bling mistakes too and I know it's very upsetting. I'm sorry your husband wasn't on board with the purchase, but maybe you can talk about it with him and smooth things over. I'm hoping you can reach a point where you both feel better about the ring. And selling it is always an option too. I know you wish this whole thing never even happened and I hope you can move past the whole experience soon!
 
Thanks for the replies. He basically said that he was very upset, not cross and that I could buy it if I wanted but as it was meant to be my new wedding band he would have liked us to choose it together like we did the first time around. He said our 5 yr anniversary was coming up and he was hoping to treat me and getting a WB on our wedding anniversary would have symbolic. He said he felt very sad that I went into this purchase alone and that I left him out. If it was any other piece of jewelry he wouldn't care, if I had bought a necklace or earrings or whatever he wouldn't care. He said my wedding band like my ER was meant to be a gift from him. He got panicky over the resizing of the ER because it was expensive stone and he was worried I had handed it off to someone unknown jeweler who could have damaged it. That was a separate issue, that worked out fine.
Anyway I feel guilty. The new ring means nothing to me, I don't want a wedding type band for my right hand or another finger so it's not like I want to keep it and put it on another finger.
The store wouldn't give me a return or store credit in the end. It was the ring or nothing. I told her she should put a sign up saying all purchases are final and she said it was on the reciept and she didn't have to do that. That's all a moot point anyway as they had already resized the ring.
I told her to keep the ring and the money, that it was bad karma for me now and on her head be it. I didn't want to give her the satisfaction of me taking the ring when she knows full well it would have cost her nothing to swap it. I would have accepted store credit and I would have swapped it for a non sentimental piece like a new bangle or something but they wouldn't give that to me. I am cross because they would have ended up resizing the ring anyway as it was small and she even said when I was in there that was the only ring under size 5.75 because they don't sell well. They are all estate pieces, they are all second hand and have been customised in the past for whoever they belonged to.
I will work (I am an artist) to put back the money into the joint account to make me feel better for being wasteful and I will forget about it.
 
Why won't you take it and try to sell it at least?
 
OP
You state that your eternity band cannot be resized. I had my wife's eternity band resized 1 size about a year ago. I bought it from a local, reputable jeweler and they sent it out to do the work. The band had to be cut and another diamond was added. So if you check around perhaps someone in the UK can do the job for you, given you still like your band and want to keep it.
 
chamomiletea said:
Thanks for the replies. He basically said that he was very upset, not cross and that I could buy it if I wanted but as it was meant to be my new wedding band he would have liked us to choose it together like we did the first time around. He said our 5 yr anniversary was coming up and he was hoping to treat me and getting a WB on our wedding anniversary would have symbolic. He said he felt very sad that I went into this purchase alone and that I left him out. If it was any other piece of jewelry he wouldn't care, if I had bought a necklace or earrings or whatever he wouldn't care. He said my wedding band like my ER was meant to be a gift from him. He got panicky over the resizing of the ER because it was expensive stone and he was worried I had handed it off to someone unknown jeweler who could have damaged it. That was a separate issue, that worked out fine.
Anyway I feel guilty. The new ring means nothing to me, I don't want a wedding type band for my right hand or another finger so it's not like I want to keep it and put it on another finger.
The store wouldn't give me a return or store credit in the end. It was the ring or nothing. I told her she should put a sign up saying all purchases are final and she said it was on the reciept and she didn't have to do that. That's all a moot point anyway as they had already resized the ring.
I told her to keep the ring and the money, that it was bad karma for me now and on her head be it. I didn't want to give her the satisfaction of me taking the ring when she knows full well it would have cost her nothing to swap it. I would have accepted store credit and I would have swapped it for a non sentimental piece like a new bangle or something but they wouldn't give that to me. I am cross because they would have ended up resizing the ring anyway as it was small and she even said when I was in there that was the only ring under size 5.75 because they don't sell well. They are all estate pieces, they are all second hand and have been customised in the past for whoever they belonged to.
I will work (I am an artist) to put back the money into the joint account to make me feel better for being wasteful and I will forget about it.
Click to expand...

Your husband sounds like a controlling *******. Sorry. I'm calling like I see it. After reading thread after thread and post after post from you bragging about your D one day and E the next internally flawless diamond and your husband's penchant for "quality" but not being able to produce a GIA report, I call bullshit. He was pissed you sent it for resizing and was worried- exactly. He was worried that someone might find out it wasn't exactly what he told you it was.

Your statement in a past thread that you live in a 3 and a half million dollar house but you aren't allowed to spend 2k on a band? Not buying it.....

Should be a lot of red flags for you:( You OBVIOUSLY have trust issues with your ring AND more importantly, your husband.

https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/i-found-out-the-actual-price-of-my-diamond.227873/

https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/lost-gia-certificate-what-do-i-do.227499/

https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/how-many-people-have-or-buy-d-if-diamonds.224946/

https://www.pricescope.com/communit...-diamond-opinions-wanted.229218/#post-4136935
 
Lol I know what my last threads are.
Being rude about my husband on the limited information I have shared about my extensive life is like putting 2 and 2 together and coming up with 1000. It's rude, it's unecessary, it has nothing to do with diamonds or consumer rights on jewllery purchases in the US (which is what this thread was about) and is verging on Internet bullying.
Thank you to everyone who replied to my thread sensibly and who offered support and information on my crazy purchase gone wrong.
 
Last edited:
WillyDiamond said:
OP
You state that your eternity band cannot be resized. I had my wife's eternity band resized 1 size about a year ago. I bought it from a local, reputable jeweler and they sent it out to do the work. The band had to be cut and another diamond was added. So if you check around perhaps someone in the UK can do the job for you, given you still like your band and want to keep it.
Click to expand...

Thanks for your reply. I would love to get it resized but they said because of the prongs it would be very difficult and could potentially ruin the ring. I can take it to a different jeweler and see though :).
 
chamomiletea said:
Lol I know what my last threads are.
For the record not that I have to justify my personal life on a diamond forum, he is retired and what we have has to last forever. A house is an investment not a throw away purchase like rings, cars and clothes. It's his money not mine, he earnt it before he met me. We have the GIA report, I have seen it. However since then we have moved 3 times, once including across the Atlantic Ocean and I don't know where it is now. I didn't boast about my ER more than anyone else here 'boasts' about their ring. I was excited I could share my ring. It's not like at a dinner party in RL I can suddenly say 'let's look at each others rings and talk about stats and how sparkly they are and how different they all are'. It IS a D or E I dunno and it is IF, why do you care?
Also being rude about my husband on the limited information I have shared about my extensive life is like putting 2 and 2 together and coming up with 1000. It's rude, it's unecessary, it has nothing to do with diamonds or consumer rights on jewllery purchases in the US (which is what this thread was about) and is verging on Internet bullying.
Thank you to everyone who replied to my thread sensibly and who offered support and information on my crazy purchase gone wrong.
Click to expand...

Now I'm "internet bulling you?"

Ok. Get. A. Grip.

You never had a crazy purchase gone wrong. You bought a ring you liked. You told your husband and he flipped. Then you decided you DIDN'T like it. Now you are here blaming the vendor, being a martyr to your husband, and looking for sympathy and commiseration.
 
I have just edited my previous to one reply because I realised that I don't have to justify my life or prove my life is real to anyone on the internet. If my life is unbelievable than I take that as meaning I am very lucky. If anyone insists on bringing my previous posts up as being a false hood then I remain amused to the reality TV nature of what I thought was a place to admire diamonds of all shapes, sizes and yes clarity because believe it (or not!) People DO buy IF diamonds.
I have smiled for the first time since crazily paying for something I didn't end up buying because if anything is proof that there are people crazier than me, it's the internet.
 
I'm sorry you weren't able to work something out with the store Chamomiletea. FWIW I think the salesperson should have told you verbally the store doesn't accept returns, even though it was on the receipt. Your story is a good reminder to others to check on return policies before purchasing. I think you should try to sell the ring but it's definitely your decision to make and none of my business lol! You have to do what feels right to you. I can tell it's been an unpleasant experience all around and I hope you can put it past you quickly.
 
Is it worth one more trip back to the shop to ask? In all reasonableness, having the return policy advertised solely on the receipt is utterly pointless - by definition, by the time you have a receipt you have already purchased something, hence too late to be warned of the conditions of sale!

I would also take the ring from them. If you don't want it, take it straight to another jeweller/pawn shop/wherever to sell for you to at least get something back. Hell, give it to a charity for an auction prize or something if you're really happy to sink your $2k - they'd be delighted and at least someone would benefit other than the jeweller!
 
Ok, don't cut off your nose to spite your face. You paid $2K. Take the ring. Sell it. Donate it. The seller is not going to feel badly just because you refuse to take the ring. They will just think, "Cool, this lady came in off the street and just handed me $2K for absolutely nothing. Works for me!"
And when you post stuff online, people will have opinions. That is the way of public forums. I agree with soxfan, but maybe her point is that if you examine your situation and your feelings, maybe you don't intrinsically dislike that ring as much as you say or feel like you should. (It's more a result of your DH's opinion and reaction.) And then if you can identify and own your feelings, owning that beautiful ring won't be such a tragedy. Maybe then you can actually enjoy something that you initially thought was beautiful. So regardless of how you view her delivery of her message, try to understand her intent. Good luck. I hope you can make something good out of this situation, for YOURSELF.
 
I have to agree that not taking the ring is not teaching anyone a lesson and the only person unnecessarily at loss from the whole ordeal is you. I understand that you have negative feelings towards the ring because it should have been a romantic gesture, but it is still precious metal and jewellery worth money. I'd take the ring, give it as a gift, donate it anything, sell it, but I assure you the seller isn't going to lose any sleep over this and leaving it behind us ultimately the most worst resolution to this whole situation, you are really not 'proving a point'.

Why donate the $2k to the jeweller you have no feelings for when you could use that towards someone more in need / that you care about/ try to sell (even just got the experience).
 
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