Newly engaged: upgrade later or no new setting?

[Bliss]

Sorry -- title should read: UPGRADE LATER OR NEW SETTING NOW?

Wow! FI just posed an interesting question. We went to the diamond district Saturday to scope out a new setting. Excel and ERD were closed, however! But we did go into some other recommended jewelers like Mimi So and etc.

All of the salespeople (surprisingly) told me NOT to reset my stone! They said it looked good as it was and just to buy a blingy wedding band. I was shocked because I had my heart set on a new setting. And I was also shocked because you'd think they'd be falling all over themselves to sell a new setting AND band. I tried on a few halos (which I LOVE) and the salespeople pushed me saying it was trendy (SO NOT TRUE) and that a good diamond doesn't need a blingy setting. (AGAIN, NOT TRUE!)

So FI asked me if I would rather just keep the acme platinum setting and upgrade the stone in a few years. I'm OK with the setting now (but I don't love it)... and I guess it wouldn't make sense to make a custom setting now if we were going to upgrade the stone in a few years, right? We're thinking 3-5 years because he bought this stone when we were in our twenties and now it makes sense to have a little bigger stone for us. (But it's nowhere near a high priority!)

Custom setting now (only to be discarded in 3-5 years) or sit tight and wait for an upgrade? I'm now leaning toward an upgrade down the road. Durrrr... Also, we're thinking since we probably won't get much back for the diamond maybe we'll just give it to my mom for a RHR when we upgrade, in which case the custom setting won't be wasted, just resized. Sometimes I look at it and think I should just keep it as it is for a few years (or maybe forever) because I do love the stone and the setting isn't horrendous... just vise-like in the prong department. LOL.

What would you do? Did anyone who upgraded toss their custom setting? If I do that, I'll have 2 platinum settings going to waste. Geez, you think you're going in for a tweak and then think overhaul. Beware the diamond district!!!

 

[KimberlyH]

I''d keep the setting and upgrade down the road, then pick a setting I love.

 

[neatfreak]

Date: 6/9/2008 10:10:23 AM
Author: KimberlyH
I'd keep the setting and upgrade down the road, then pick a setting I love.

I agree...and I have to say that while I love me a good halo, I kind of agree with the jewelers (ducks). A big gorgeous stone like yours can stand on it's own, it doesn't need a halo IMO...And while halos have been around for a long time, you have to admit that they are trendy right now. Everyone is getting a halo, not that it's a bad thing, but it is something to consider.

But what is most important is that you love your ring, so if a halo will do that for you then you should do it!

 

[Bliss]

Thank you, KimberlyH! Thank you, neatfreak!

Your settings are so beautiful!!!

I think that's what we'll do... I'd hate to blow through settings in such a short period of time. I wasn't even thinking upgrade until FI suggested it would make more sense. It actually does now that he brought it up. It's something up for debate. If I had reset now, I wouldn't want to upgrade so soon.

So the question is -- reset now and upgrade in 5-10 years? Or no reset and upgrade in 3-5 years? Sometimes I feel like I might never want to upgrade if I just reset the stone. I'm happy

FI makes things so complicated. He's a numbers guy. LOL.

 

[KimberlyH]

I''d still choose to leave the setting as is and upgrade sooner rather than later. Then again, I''m counting down the years until I can upgrade my center stone, but I don''t think I''ll ever change my setting, so I''m biased, or have a one track mind, or whatever you want to call it.

 

[neatfreak]

I''d say change your setting now, but not into something super crazy that can''t be upgraded with your stone (i.e., get a beautiful band with a replaceable head that can be switched out with a new stone). And I only say this because you''ve been complaining about your setting from day 1, so I really don''t think you''re happy with it. Otherwise I''d say wait.

 

[NewEnglandLady]

Ditto to this. Word for word.

How much of this decision is based on timing? I mean, do you really, really want a change now as opposed to having to wait at least 3 years for an upgrade? My fear would be is if you went for the halo now because you love it and wanted a change and did feel after a few years that it was a little trendy, then you'd still be many years away from an upgrade. And if you LOVED the halo and wanted to keep it, but also wanted an upgrade, then you'd have to buy a new stone AND new setting.

I think if I were you I'd wait until I upgraded to the size I would keep forever, then decide on a setting after that. I know that means not being able to change the setting for a bit, but hey, you can still get a beautiful, blingy wedding band!

ETA: Oops, I meant to quote Neatfreak's post!

 

[gwendolyn]

If the main thing that''s bugging you with your current ring is the prongs, can you see if a jeweler can make them less monster-truck-like (your words, not mine!

) by shaving them down a bit or something? Only if you decide to wait for an upgrade, obviously, but if that''s the main thing that''s bothering you, I''d see if maybe they could tweak it a bit so you actually like your current setting.

 

[HollyS]

You have a beautiful, and large by most people''s standards, diamond in a classic setting. It''s absolutely gorgeous in its simplicity; letting the stone be the ''star of the show''. (And halos will be ''dated'' in a little while. People will still love them, but they will be icons of an era. And the era will be past.) If simplicity is not your thing, maybe a custom setting by a great artist (like Leon M) will give you the desired result.

Why would you need an upgrade in 3-5 years? This is a beautiful ring. Really. And unless everyone you hang with is sporting 3 or 4 carats as an e-ring, you can''t possibly feel ''shrinkage'' anytime soon. Put your money towards somethiing else. A house? Kids? A college fund for kids? Retirement?

 

[diamondseeker2006]

Bliss, you have a 2.7 ct. F VS2 diamond and you are thinking of just giving it to your mother when you upgrade???? I''ll have to say that you could certainly make a lovely 3 stone right hand ring for yourself! But if there are those in your social circle with 3+ ct. stones, then I suppose I can understand the idea of upgrading.

Otherwise, I''d certainly go ahead and get Leon to reset it now since I think 2.7 is large and beautiful! It is a shame to have such a beautiful stone in a setting you don''t like. But I''d personally not put a halo on a stone that size. If you think it is too small, then I''d just wait and upgrade the stone and reset at that time.

 

[risingsun]

I absolutely agree with DS. You have a large, beautiful diamond now. Have it put in a setting without a lot of extras--it doesn''t need it.

 

[Kaleigh]

Date: 6/9/2008 11:37:21 PM
Author: risingsun
I absolutely agree with DS. You have a large, beautiful diamond now. Have it put in a setting without a lot of extras--it doesn''t need it.

Exactly my thinking as well. You have a gorgeous stone, it doesn''t need a halo to over power it, or take away from it. Less is more, thinking simple elegance will stand the test of time.

Leon Mege, ot MWM....

 

[Bliss]

Thanks, ladies!

What excellent advice. Thank you SO much for your wise & practical thoughts. I really appreciate it.

NewEnglandLady: THANK YOU! What a GORGEOUS SET!!!! Sapphires! SWOON. Asscher. SWOON. Eternity. SWOON.
I'm going to keep my eye out for a slightly upgraded setting so as not to be too wasteful. But I do think I'll wait for the dream setting once I upgrade to the size I want forever.


gwendolyn: Thanks! YES, the Godzilla prongs bother me! They don't bug me so much that I can't sleep, but they bug me in the way a window treatment that isn't quite right throws the balance off the room. Ya know? I can live with it and be happy and grateful for it. But it's something I'd like to change in the future - the question is just sooner or later?

HollyS: Thank you so much. BTW, beautiful eternity band in your avatar! I think I might just let the stone be the star of its own show... I don't feel shrinkage yet, but I know I want to end up around 3.5 -- it's the size my mom has and I've always loved it as a little girl. So that's my "forever size" and FI was so generous to offer, I thought... Hmmm! We're doing well and saving well, also own a home (in Manhattan) and no kids yet! But we do have a nest egg... The upgrade isn't a must but we can well afford it, so why not now? Then again, why not just get a great setting for now? LOL. The eternal dilemma!

diamondseeker2006: Thank you so much as well! Your set is TO DIE FOR. So classy! See, your setting is gorgeous! Simple, elegant... with a little flair, too.

My mom loves diamonds and I'd hate to trade in a stone and lose so much value off of it. That's one reason I'd rather just let her do her thing with it and make a necklace or something. She has given me so much in my life!

I don't wear that much jewelry anyway besides a necklace and earrings. It would be a nice gift. Maybe a halo isn't the way to go. What about a teeeeeensy halo? I saw one on a 2ct and it was soooo lovely. It was like a nice sized stone with a tiny glimmer around it. Lovely!

Marian: Your setting is gorgeous. Big beautiful rock. Beautiful blingiful setting. Just classy classy classy! May I ask who made your setting?

Kaleigh: Thank you! OMG. Your set is the "forever set." THUNK! (Faints)

 

[MonkeyPie]

You could always get a setting with an easily removable peg head - and then when you upgrade down the road, only the diamond and head will be replaced

 

[Dreamer_D]

Date: 6/9/2008 11:53:10 PM
Author: Kaleigh

Date: 6/9/2008 11:37:21 PM
Author: risingsun
I absolutely agree with DS. You have a large, beautiful diamond now. Have it put in a setting without a lot of extras--it doesn''t need it.

Exactly my thinking as well. You have a gorgeous stone, it doesn''t need a halo to over power it, or take away from it. Less is more, thinking simple elegance will stand the test of time.

Leon Mege, ot MWM....

I agree with these people agreeing with DS

You shouldn''t have to suffer for the next three years with a setting you don''t love. I read on some other threads that Leon''s amazing settings like the one that Scarlett has are only ~$3000, so you can get it now and love your ring now! The waiting will be agonizing if you try to "put off" having a set you really love. Your man is a numbers man so tell him this: The $$ spent on your current ring is WASTED if you do not love it utterly and completely. Spending a little extra now to get a killer setting you adore will make you loooove it, and therefore makes the $$ spent worthwhile. To wait just wastes the money you already spent. The cross the upgrade bridge when you come to it.

Think that''ll work?

 

[diamondseeker2006]

In light of what you have said, I would recommend upgrading now rather than later. 3 ct. stone prices have already increased drastically this year, and waiting is only going to make it worse. So since you know you want to upgrade, I'd do it now and then get an elegant setting. Are you sure the vendor of the current diamond wouldn't let you trade it in on a larger stone?

Oh, and thank you for your very sweet compliments regarding my rings!

 

[Bliss]

MonkeyPie: EXCELLENT IDEA!

dreamer_daschie: What regal pooches you have! BEAUTIFUL! AND BRILLLLLLLIIIIIIIAAAANT IDEA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I''m totally doing it. I won''t go the crazy custom route, but I will change the setting so I don''t have to avert my eyes from the ghastly acme prongs every time I look down at it! LOLOLOL. You. Are. Brilliant.

 

[Bliss]

diamondseeker2006: AAAAACK! That is what I was thinking!!!!! Decisions, decisions. LOL. Crazy I can''t pull the trigger just yet. I''m going to ask the vendor if we can upgrade now. We''ve been looking at stones in the range we''d like and they aren''t that far off the mark. Diamond prices HAVE gone up significantly. I was a little surprised, too! We recently had to get the ring reappraised and it was surprising how much more we now have to pay. But I''m sure it was because the acme metal prongs are so huge it factored in... platinum prices are up and the prongs are like 3200 grams a piece. 6 prongs and you see why...

 

[reader]

Wondering about the band....are you adverse to swapping out bands as well, or would you be happier wearing the same wedding band for the rest of your life? How would the new diamond or setting you choose affect your band choice?