Now I'm worried...

[entitledpearl22]

Hullo!

I was a LIW a couple of years ago and two of my best friends recently became engaged. They were going through the same things you were - one had been in a relationship for 7 years and the other for 10 years (though she started dating her SO at 16, so that's not as 'terrible' as it sounds!)

I am friends with both SOs and I heard many times how crazy their girlfriends were making them - that they were treating a proposal like a promotion - something they wanted to control minutely, but still wanted it to be "a spontaneous, romantic surprise." Well, I hate to tell you, you can't have both!

In both cases, the girls would complain to me about how it was taking so long, they wouldn't give a timeline (sound familiar????), etc. etc. I merely advised them to do what I did. Choose a time in the future that you absolutely MUST KNOW by. In my friend's case, she wanted to be engaged before her 30th birthday. So I told her to let me him know this, casually and not aggressively, that she had to know by then or she would assume he didn't have the same goals and move on with her life. And then, let it go. Do not say one more word, at all, in any way. Don't push over other girls to catch the bouquet at a wedding, don't look through his email, and don't send him tons of pictures of rings you love unless he asks in that direction. The more you bug, the more it feels like a chore for him, rather than a special, exciting time for him!

In both cases, within 6 months they were engaged. Whether it was my advice or not I don't know, but I DEFINITELY saw less arguing, less tears, and less little comments "Oh, so and so got engaged last week! Isn't that lovely?" (said airily, as if it didn't matter, while the SO rolled his eyes....) And actually, it made them much more pleasant to be around. LOL!!!

Good luck. I know it is VERY hard to wait, but you have an advantage over many other ladies, which is that you know it's coming and a somewhat timeline for that to happen. Every time you start to think "engagement" or "ring" or "wedding", look at your SO, squeeze his hand, and admire what you love about him. Be happy in his company, because waiting for a certain day or event to be excited about being with him is missing out on a lot of time before then!

XO,

a former LIW (who actually just gave up and asked him herself, while watching Jeopardy one night! hehe.)

Genius advice... I think I shall apply this to my situation. I hate that I am probobly driving him crazy so I will try to lay off the sarcasm as well regarding friends engagment announcements! Thats a biggie for me