OH NO... GF has different tastes!

[Ordieth]

oh man... so many posts...

Ok...... let me first say, Thank you all!!! your comments and opinions are very helpful. However, I feel that I was unable to portray the entire situation to everyone....

I will try to give some more details.

My girlfriend and I have been dateing for 4 years now.. We have talked about marrage, so I know that if I propose, I will get a yes. While I do know this, we have never actually "shopped" for rings. So far I have bought her a "Hearts on Fire" pendant necklace, and just recently a .33 ct. wt. earings for our aniversary. She currently lives in missouri while I live in michigan. This is a temporary arrangement as she will only be there for 2 years for med school. However, a few times in the past we have looked at some ring designs.

Most recently, while x-mass shoping, she wanted to compair her new earings against the ones at the mall. This action resulted in us walking through the store, and she tried to point out some of the things she liked and did not like. She did point out a split band solitare, and a tension setting, but she was not dead set on either. (who can blame here, we were at a mall store

) She really only likes the round brilliants (she is as big a fan of sparkles as I am

) However, she did not want a ring with a lot of little diamonds/stones.

As I see it she wants a RB, Large Center stone, a simple but unique band, and above all else, I have to surprise her. It is this last request that makes me want to keep the 3 stones. I believe that I can keep every aspect of her ring that she requests, and add a touch of me to it. This is in hopes that she will look at her ring not simply as the ring that she choose, but as the one that we made. I know this sounds a little selfish, but to me it seems a little romatic...

I am not sure anyone else would agree, but I must emphasize that this story is much deeper and more complex than I can simply write.

I think that worse come to worse, if she doesn''t like the ring, we can look for a new one for her wedding ring. I know that we will have a long engagment, and I know she isn''t very fond of wedding bands, (but like I said, she changes her mind a lot). I could always turn the engagment ring to a RHR, and get her a new ring for the wedding.

Does this sound crazy?

Thank you all for your help and input!

 

[kcoursolle]

I agree with pheonixgirl, she took you to the jewelers specifically for the purpose of showing you what she liked so you didn''t pick out something she wouldn''t like. If she really didn''t care she wouldn''t have bothered to take you there.

To me these words say solitaire, not a three stone.
''Simple, but unique''
''Big center diamond''
''Round Diamond''

However, since she is still unsure of what she wants picking out a simple setting as suggested above and then picking out a more elaborate setting after getting engaged might be a good idea.

 

[drk]

My DH and I picked a ring that we BOTH liked. I really liked three-stone rings, he liked solitaires. Since he wasn''t a ring person to start with and had to be talked into getting me an E-ring in the first place, I wanted to get something he''d be proud to buy and to see me wear. We picked out the stone together based on his budget (and I ended up going with a much larger one than I originally thought I''d want), and picked the setting together too. We did end up with a solitaire, but I liked it too. I figure the 3 or 5 stone can come as an anniversary present in future years...

 

[Jelly]

Goodness get what SHE wants!

Learn from others''s mistakes such as poor Selma''s fiance:

Selma''s Thread

 

[E B]

However, she did not want a ring with a lot of little diamonds/stones.

Darlin'', you have to take a hint. You said she didn''t even look at three stone rings when you were out. She looked at split-shank and tension set rings, which should give you a clue...it sounds like she wants a solitaire (even from her description of what she wants, that''s what I gathered). While three stone rings are beautiful, I didn''t like them on my hand at all.

You have to realize that she''ll be wearing this forever, so you should be more interested in pleasing her rather than pleasing you and her. What if she was going to buy your wedding ring, had a general idea of what you wanted, but decided to go with what she wanted (something completely different)? Wouldn''t you want to have some say in what you were going to wear for the rest of your married life?

She''s expressed interest in two different styles. Take her out and have her try on as many styles as she can until she knows which one she wants. Start looking now at settings she has expressed interest in. It''s expected that she''ll change her mind at some point, and you might have to change stones/settings. That''s the way it is. Until then, surprise her with what she loves now.

 

[E B]

Here's a .90ct, H, SI1 (looks incredibly clean on the cert) that's worth a look:

.90ct, H, SI1 0.8 HCA $3876

...and just in case she shows a serious love for tension settings:

Gelin Abaci TR-039 14KWG $960

...and together you have a gorgeous and simple (yet unique) solitaire that fits within your budget. Just something to think about.

 

[snowflakeluvr]

i agree with the others here. get what SHE wants; i''d suggest a simple solitaire and "upgrade" as able. why not consider some sort of wedding band for YOU with three small stones in it? that may satisfy your taste. it seems from your few posts that you are "stuck" on this three stone thing-is it because you love the look of it? because it signifies something? i have been married almost 20 years and am wearing something quite different from the set we chose when we became engaged(he surprised me with a 4 prong simple setting; almost immediately upgraded to a channel-set diamond band). i, like many of the others here am picky about the jewelry i wear. you know your future fiancee best, but i still would strongly suggest a style she''ll love not one you''ll love. good luck. it seems that there are endless options today and it does definitely make it very difficult for a lady to decide!

 

[Ellen]

Date: 11/26/2006 8:32:08 PM
Author: Ordieth
oh man... so many posts...

Ok...... let me first say, Thank you all!!! your comments and opinions are very helpful. However, I feel that I was unable to portray the entire situation to everyone....

I will try to give some more details.

My girlfriend and I have been dateing for 4 years now.. We have talked about marrage, so I know that if I propose, I will get a yes. While I do know this, we have never actually 'shopped' for rings. So far I have bought her a 'Hearts on Fire' pendant necklace, and just recently a .33 ct. wt. earings for our aniversary. She currently lives in missouri while I live in michigan. This is a temporary arrangement as she will only be there for 2 years for med school. However, a few times in the past we have looked at some ring designs.

Most recently, while x-mass shoping, she wanted to compair her new earings against the ones at the mall. This action resulted in us walking through the store, and she tried to point out some of the things she liked and did not like. She did point out a split band solitare, and a tension setting, but she was not dead set on either. (who can blame here, we were at a mall store

) She really only likes the round brilliants (she is as big a fan of sparkles as I am

) However, she did not want a ring with a lot of little diamonds/stones.

As I see it she wants a RB, Large Center stone, a simple but unique band, and above all else, I have to surprise her. It is this last request that makes me want to keep the 3 stones. I believe that I can keep every aspect of her ring that she requests, and add a touch of me to it. This is in hopes that she will look at her ring not simply as the ring that she choose, but as the one that we made. I know this sounds a little selfish, but to me it seems a little romatic...

I am not sure anyone else would agree, but I must emphasize that this story is much deeper and more complex than I can simply write.

I think that worse come to worse, if she doesn't like the ring, we can look for a new one for her wedding ring. I know that we will have a long engagment, and I know she isn't very fond of wedding bands, (but like I said, she changes her mind a lot). I could always turn the engagment ring to a RHR, and get her a new ring for the wedding.

Does this sound crazy?

Thank you all for your help and input!

Ordieth, I'm not sure why you're asking us if we think this is a crazy idea. This entire thread has been an almost unanimous NO to the 3 stone ring. I doubt any of us have changed our minds. We're women, we know women, we know what your woman looked at and told you she liked.

It was a solitaire.

If you are hell bent on getting her a 3 stone ring when it's highly unlikely that's what she wants, that is certainly your perogative, but please don't expect us to give you a thumbs up on it.

 

[dtnyc]

I have to agree w/ everyone who is telling you to avoid the 3 stone setting. If she specifically said she wanted a "big" round stone do not spend money on side stones that could go towards the center stone.
3 stones are lovely- one of my best friends has one that her dear husband surprised her with, but whenever I see it I think 1) that the side stones are almost too big for the center stone and make the center stone look smaller and 2) that if he had not done side stones she could have had a real whopper of a solitaire.

For a lot of women size does matter-

and it''s the size of the center stone, not the total carat weight that really matters. She would probably prefer a bigger center stone than a center stone w/ 2 side stones. As others have said, you can always add side stones down the line.

I don''t know how you feel about upgrades in the future, but upgrading by adding side stones is easy and could be less expensive down the line than upgrading to a larger center stone- unless you purchase from a place that has a trade-in policy. Also I know some some people are sentimental about e-rings and with a side-stone addition upgrade you still have the "original" ring that you proposed with.

If you feel that she wouldn''t HATE a 3 stone, I would suggest doing the largest round brilliant in your budget and then doing smaller side stones- would tapered baguettes fulfill your 3-stone vision? Perhaps you could do a split shank w/ 2 very small diamonds in the setting?

 

[winternight]

''Simple, but unique''
''Big center diamond''
''Round Diamond''


Personally I can''t stand 3 stone rings so I''d take the hint she probably just isn''t into that look. Also they''re really popular right now and she might not feel its a "unique" ring.

Why not take her out shopping to some better jewelry stores, maybe you can say you are looking for somehting for your mother as a cover, and get more input from her?