Perfect age difference between siblings...

[Dreamer_D]

Dreamer, if there no strong arguments on either camp, then I say do it and do it now! Seriously, you're a great mom and you will be able to handle it just fine. And I do think that close age siblings will entertain each other in a different, and possibly more mutual way. I think it'd be great!

haha! Thanks TGal. I suppose one argument against is that I have started a weight loss plan... I am now a little below my pre-pregnancy weight. Do I wait 6mo and get to my goal, only to gain it all again when pg or do it sooner and then worry about losing it all after it is all done with? The thought of losing it all to gain it all again is painful. But losing might make recovery faster and perhaps result in a better pregnancy (I think some of the issues at the end were because I was so heavy by the end of it).

 

[softly softly]

Based on my experience with my own children who are 17 months apart, I kind of love it. Maybe it's because they are same sex siblings but it's really not as bad/hard as everyone expects it to be. My older daughter will never remember being an only child, all of her childhood memories will involve her little sister who is her best friend (right now) and playmate. She never had a chance to get really spoiled but still received more than enough attention from us. My girls play together all the time and it's awesome. They fight also but nothing dramatic and regardless of age difference, siblings will fight. That link above was a turn off to me the first time it was posted and it still is. I can only speak for my situation and I will say that it works for us. I couldn't imagine life with my 3 year old and a new baby right now. I also don't understand why it's so hard to have 2 in diapers at the same time. It's really not a big deal at all and we just got it over with faster than being done with diapers and then having to start all over again. And my almost 2 year old is now peeing on the potty because she has been watching her sister do it so I feel like the diaper issue is a non-issue. We've been done with bottles and all the baby crap for a while now and I was thrilled every time we were able to get rid of something--bouncy seat, Bumbo, pack n play, etc. Maybe my age does have something to do with it as well so since DH and I are not getting younger, we are glad to have the baby years behind us. Anyway, this is a long-winded way of saying I really don't think there is a perfect age difference. Everyone will have their own opinion based on their experiences but it really all comes down to what works for you and your family, a very personal thing.

I'm going to ditto everything Curly has said because my experience mirrors hers - except that I have a boy and girl. Which is not to say that two under two isn't a crazy experience and I'm sure if I'd been asked this question in the first two years of my daughter's life I may have been slightly more equivocal in my response, because there were days when I felt overwhelmed by the demands of two small children.

Now they are 4 and 5 I wouldn't have it any other way. As of this moment they absolutely adore each other and now that the eldest is in full time school I am realising just how much easier it is to get things done when they are off playing together.

The only thing I would add is that I think that sibling relationships are just as dependant upon personality as they are upon age. While it definitely helps that my kids are close in age and therefore have more in common, I don't think things would be so harmonious had they been born in reverse order. My son adored his sister from day one and has never been jealous, or even overly possessive of his toys. He is also very sweet natured. My daughter, while loving and warm, is also extremely jealous, particularly if I give attention to other children (her brother being the only exception to this) so I doubt she would have taken particularly well to a younger sibling.

 

[gailrmv]

Dreamer, just wanted to say I am in pretty much the same boat. Wavering back and forth all the time!

We're definitely getting excited at the idea of a second child, but frankly, I am scared as heck as to how I would take care of two little ones at once. I don't have family in my city, my DH works long hours and often does not see DS at all during the workdays. I am a SAHM. It's basically me and the little guy all day, every day. My only "break" is when he goes to the gym's daycare. My son is wonderfully energetic and very spirited - in other words it is a full time job taking care of him. I don't know if I could handle two at home full time without help. We probably will wait until he goes to preschool (or school)! or maybe arrange to have a mother's helper or SOMETHING. I feel good about the routine we have now and kind of don't want to interrupt it.... yet we know we want a second and I don't know that there will ever be a perfect time.

Hearing about Steph's kids makes me think a longer age gap sounds just about perfect. However, my brother and I are 5 years apart and we had absolutely nothing in common growing up and are not close now. Some of that is personality conflict but I am sure the age gap did not help. I always said that I would not have my kids that far apart. Plus, I'm not getting any younger.

And, after seeing several close friends go through horrible experiences with miscarriages and infertility attempting their second child, sometimes I think I should just count my blessings to have a healthy baby and just be done. (But... fear is not a good reason to make this decision - and I think we will go for it.)

 

[steph72276]

Dreamer, just wanted to say I am in pretty much the same boat. Wavering back and forth all the time!

We're definitely getting excited at the idea of a second child, but frankly, I am scared as heck as to how I would take care of two little ones at once. I don't have family in my city, my DH works long hours and often does not see DS at all during the workdays. I am a SAHM. It's basically me and the little guy all day, every day. My only "break" is when he goes to the gym's daycare. My son is wonderfully energetic and very spirited - in other words it is a full time job taking care of him. I don't know if I could handle two at home full time without help. We probably will wait until he goes to preschool (or school)! or maybe arrange to have a mother's helper or SOMETHING. I feel good about the routine we have now and kind of don't want to interrupt it.... yet we know we want a second and I don't know that there will ever be a perfect time.

Hearing about Steph's kids makes me think a longer age gap sounds just about perfect. However, my brother and I are 5 years apart and we had absolutely nothing in common growing up and are not close now. Some of that is personality conflict but I am sure the age gap did not help. I always said that I would not have my kids that far apart. Plus, I'm not getting any younger.

And, after seeing several close friends go through horrible experiences with miscarriages and infertility attempting their second child, sometimes I think I should just count my blessings to have a healthy baby and just be done. (But... fear is not a good reason to make this decision - and I think we will go for it.)

TDM,
We're in almost the same situation that you're in and that played a role in wanting to wait a bit longer between children. My husband works 12+ hour days and we only have 1 family member close by where we moved, so in that case it is very helpful to have an older sibling that is more independent. But like everybody else says, whatever happens you just make it work and it becomes the "new normal". You are a great mom and will do fine with whatever you decide.

 

[steph72276]

Dreamer, if there no strong arguments on either camp, then I say do it and do it now! Seriously, you're a great mom and you will be able to handle it just fine. And I do think that close age siblings will entertain each other in a different, and possibly more mutual way. I think it'd be great!

haha! Thanks TGal. I suppose one argument against is that I have started a weight loss plan... I am now a little below my pre-pregnancy weight. Do I wait 6mo and get to my goal, only to gain it all again when pg or do it sooner and then worry about losing it all after it is all done with? The thought of losing it all to gain it all again is painful. But losing might make recovery faster and perhaps result in a better pregnancy (I think some of the issues at the end were because I was so heavy by the end of it).

Why don't you continue on your weight loss plan for 6 more months, go full force with having a healthy pregnancy a motivation, then start trying after that. I think the healthier you are before your pregnancy as well as how active you are during your pregnancy determines what happens afterward. It won't be so overwhelming after baby number 2 if you are already at or close to your goal when you get pregnant. This way, if it takes you a few months, they will be close to 3 years apart...not too close to make you insane, but not that far apart.

 

[TravelingGal]

Dreamer, if there no strong arguments on either camp, then I say do it and do it now! Seriously, you're a great mom and you will be able to handle it just fine. And I do think that close age siblings will entertain each other in a different, and possibly more mutual way. I think it'd be great!

haha! Thanks TGal. I suppose one argument against is that I have started a weight loss plan... I am now a little below my pre-pregnancy weight. Do I wait 6mo and get to my goal, only to gain it all again when pg or do it sooner and then worry about losing it all after it is all done with? The thought of losing it all to gain it all again is painful. But losing might make recovery faster and perhaps result in a better pregnancy (I think some of the issues at the end were because I was so heavy by the end of it).

I totally understand Dreamer. Part of why I decided to work on getting in shape was because there is a small window where TGuy and I are thinking of having another child. Now that I'm 15 pounds down, I'm thinking...uh, no...don't want to get pg again. My friend, who just had her second, said she totally had a different mentality and thought she would lose it after the second. But she said losing it first would have been wiser because she said her second pregnancy was more exhausting - partially because of age and partially because she was up 20 pounds to start from the first.

If you were lose it all, and maintain good eating habits with the second pregnancy, my guess is that you won't gain as much. Also, my friend and I were doing pilates for nearly a year before she got pregnant with her first. She had a c-section for both and credits the ab strength for making recovery a lot easier. She's really struggling with her second recovery. Likewise, I was doing pilates until I was about 7.5 months pregnant and had a very easy recovery.

I think it pays to be in shape.

 

[Dreamer_D]

Steph and Tgal I agree. I gained almost 60lbs when pg, so that on top of the 40lbs overweight I was to begin with meant I weighed a staggering amount when Hunter was born. Though I had no *major* complications, there were little things -- extra amniotic fluid, lots of water retention, slightly elevated BP -- that I would like to avoid. Not to mention that I had knee pain after birth and my recovery was really long. Losing the weight and getting back in shape has taken 18 months! Granted I did not try very hard the first 12 months, but still. My hope next time is to start 20lbs lighter and then "only" gain 40lbs tops next time, and to stay active if humanly possible .

DH and I are tentatively thinking to TTC in about 3-4 months... I would like a summer 2011 baby since it will mean returning from maternity leave in summer 2012 prior to the start of the fall term, and because that birthday is better for getting a spot in our daycare Not essential reasons to time things this way, but they seem better than nothing... Finger crossed I can lost 16 more lbs in that time!

 

[vespergirl]

I think Vespergirl posted an article several months ago that stated that 3 years in age difference was ideal--I think the article said that with 2 years apart, the siblings tended to compete too much with each other. More than 3 years and the kids were too far apart in age to relate...or something like that. I remember this because my sisters are close in age (2 years between each) and they still compete with each other despite being in their 30's, haha.

I'll have to see if I can find the article...

ETA: I found the article (I'd sent it to a friend). It doesn't really mention anything about an upper cap, just the issue of closely-spaced siblings. My closest sister is still 7 years my senior and we were not clost at all growing up (too far apart in age), but are close now.
http://www.empathicparenting.org/closely.html

NEL, it's so funny that you mention that article, because after that and other research saying the same thing, I really wanted to wait 3-4 years so that the older one would be more mature, but not too much of a gap. As it is, I had my two boys 3 and a half years apart. As far as sibling rivalry goes, everything has been going great since I had Connor in April. Andrew just adores him (he calls him "my first baby") and loves to play with him and help feed him and stuff. However, Andrew has been taking out any subconscious issues he may be having on us by regressing. He was pee & poo potty trained before the baby was born, but now he will only poo in Pullups if at home (he's perfect, no accidents out of the house). He is also more whiny for our attention. I was so worried about him taking it out on the baby, but he doesn't he loves the baby.

I think part of the problem is that 3 year olds are apparently a lot harder to deal with than 2 or 4 year olds. When Andrew turned 3, and I was thinking "What terrible twos? Andrew was an angel the whole time he was two" people were telling me that terrible twos is a myth, three is really the hardest age. I found this to be true in spades. However, now that he's nearing 4, his behavior is getting much better, so in a nutshell, I kind of wish we had waited until Andrew was 4 to have Connor.

My brothers & I were all 5 years apart (one is 5 years old than me, the other 5 years younger). We were all very close growing up and still are, and the strange thing is that my 2 brothers, who are 10 years apart, have the closest relationship of all. So, I think that even with a big gap, kids can still be close. However, they will probably be super-close if they are closer in age, like 1 or 2 years apart, because they'll have more in common.

 

[TravelingGal]

I think Vespergirl posted an article several months ago that stated that 3 years in age difference was ideal--I think the article said that with 2 years apart, the siblings tended to compete too much with each other. More than 3 years and the kids were too far apart in age to relate...or something like that. I remember this because my sisters are close in age (2 years between each) and they still compete with each other despite being in their 30's, haha.

I'll have to see if I can find the article...

ETA: I found the article (I'd sent it to a friend). It doesn't really mention anything about an upper cap, just the issue of closely-spaced siblings. My closest sister is still 7 years my senior and we were not clost at all growing up (too far apart in age), but are close now.
http://www.empathicparenting.org/closely.html

NEL, it's so funny that you mention that article, because after that and other research saying the same thing, I really wanted to wait 3-4 years so that the older one would be more mature, but not too much of a gap. As it is, I had my two boys 3 and a half years apart. As far as sibling rivalry goes, everything has been going great since I had Connor in April. Andrew just adores him (he calls him "my first baby") and loves to play with him and help feed him and stuff. However, Andrew has been taking out any subconscious issues he may be having on us by regressing. He was pee & poo potty trained before the baby was born, but now he will only poo in Pullups if at home (he's perfect, no accidents out of the house). He is also more whiny for our attention. I was so worried about him taking it out on the baby, but he doesn't he loves the baby.

I think part of the problem is that 3 year olds are apparently a lot harder to deal with than 2 or 4 year olds. When Andrew turned 3, and I was thinking "What terrible twos? Andrew was an angel the whole time he was two" people were telling me that terrible twos is a myth, three is really the hardest age. I found this to be true in spades. However, now that he's nearing 4, his behavior is getting much better, so in a nutshell, I kind of wish we had waited until Andrew was 4 to have Connor.

My brothers & I were all 5 years apart (one is 5 years old than me, the other 5 years younger). We were all very close growing up and still are, and the strange thing is that my 2 brothers, who are 10 years apart, have the closest relationship of all. So, I think that even with a big gap, kids can still be close. However, they will probably be super-close if they are closer in age, like 1 or 2 years apart, because they'll have more in common.

Vesper, I totally buy that three one of the harder ages. I feel the same way about 2...it's been easy thus far. Fun, full of wonderment and delight. But I see a glimpse of things to come, and I fully fear age 3!!!

 

[NewEnglandLady]

This thread is actually really interesting because I feel like DH and I sort of planned to have kids around 3 years apart...as much as you can plan that sort of thing, you know? We haven't even started on #1. Anyway, I keep wanting to wait a little longer so we can fit a few things in before TTC to the point where this weekend we thought "maybe 2 years apart is better for us--we can get a bit of a later start and still have them both before we hit mid-thirties". Anyway, it's great to hear about all of these real-life scenarios.

 

[E B]

I haven't had time to read all the responses, but I will before we try for number 2. Hopefully.

As it stands, we're planning on a ~3 year age difference. We'll probably start trying around Henry's 2nd birthday, so 3 years give or take a few months. Again, hopefully!

 

[Burk]

I think it depends on your first too. Mine are 2 years apart but my first is a pretty mature 2 year-old. She is super helpful with the baby. I can ask her to entertain her brother while I cook dinner and she's great with him. She gets me diapers and actually even practices changing diapers on her animals and dolls and asks to help change her brother. The first few months were pretty rough because my husband works super long hours, travels a lot and, as we all know, newborns are a lot of work (I felt like I was constantly nursing and asking Tayva to play by herself ). Now I can't imagine it any other way. If there's a third we'll probably go for a 2.5-3 year gap between Kade and potential new baby.

 

[puffy]

for me, 2 years apart is good. my 2 boys are 2 years apart and i love it that way. since N was a newborn, B loved him to pieces...always wanted to hold him, helped with diaper changes, burping, singing to him, etc. and now that N is almost 8 months, B plays with him all the time, 'reads' to him, gets him toys, just entertains him while i am getting things done. and N is cruising all over the place now and i haven't exactly baby proofed just yet, so B keeps him out of trouble for the most part. i love it that they are pretty close in age.

 

[gailrmv]

Thanks Steph - you are sweet

[trying to quote your reply to me, obviously I do not know how to do it in the new PS]

 

[hawaiianorangetree]

I can tell you what is not a good age difference 11 years just as the oldest leaves the house, the youngest is a teenager and getting ready to drive...what was I thinking

DRG, are you able to elaborate on your experience for me please? The reason I ask is because if DH and I decide to have a child together there will be 12 years between my daughter and the baby, and 18 years between DHs daughter and the baby. That's a huge gap! Were there any positives to the gap? What other negatives did you find? TIA

 

[House Cat]

10/11 years apart was the only way I could keep my own personal sanity.


With the way things are working out, my youngest is going to be as much of a handful as all three of my older children put together. I think our higher power had it planned that way. BTW, my three older children are blended by marriage, 2 are his, one is mine, the youngest is ours.

The downfall to this age difference is that my five year old is very teenager-like. He wants an I-pod, a cell phone, and an x-box. He loves Metallica, Led Zeppelin, and The Beatles. He also thinks wearing shorts "isn't cool" and insists upon wearing jeans everyday. He also wants to grow his hair long. The major downfall is that he's treated like the little prince of the house. It takes a lot of counter balancing to get him off his princely pedestal in order to show him that he's HUMAN and he needs to participate in the home activities.


His siblings are very bonded to him, but it isn't the usual sibling bond. I wouldn't call what they have parental either. I'm careful not to put them into that role very often. They babysit rarely. I make sure that their time together is play time, etc. Soon though, the older ones will be living on their own, and I'm sure the relationship will change for all of them. It might feel more parental in the years to come.

The older sibs ages are 16, 16, and 17. They've been together for ten years now. They are extremely close. I would say that having them close together has its benefits in the fact that these kids are really tight. I'm not so certain, if I had to raise them from infants that I would have been ok though. Those first five years are really difficult. I give so many props to the moms who raise multiple young ones at the same time. I don't know how they do it! They're amazing to me.

 

[DivaDiamond007]

My sister and I are 18 months apart and as children we were best friends and played together all the time. As we got older we grew apart though. I matured much faster than she did, and even now at 26 and 28 (I'm older) it's obvious that I have more "life experience" than she does even though we are so close in age.

My son turned 2 in July and I'm expecting our second child, so our kids will be 2.5 years apart. On the good side DS is a great helper and is getting the hang of taking directions. I also feel like our kids won't be so far apart that they won't be able to play together as children. On the bad side, we'll probably start really potty training when the baby is born, and I don't want DS to revert to diapers. I've also heard from my mommy friends that it's not the terrible 2's to worry about, but the terrible 3's are just that - TERRIBLE.

I don't think there's a universal perfect age gap because there are so many other factors to consider. Mom's health, work schedules, quality time able to be spent with the kids, transporation, money, housing, childcare arrangements and cost, etc.

 

[hawaiianorangetree]

Housecat, thank you for your personal experience with the large age gap between kids. I really appreciate it.

It sounds like it is definately workable and can have some advantages which makes me happy to hear.

 

[qtiekiki]

I haven't read through all the responses.

I thought the "perfect" age gap is 2 years, but 18 months is working for us. My kids are 18 months (and 2 days) apart. So far, it's been great. Meena isn't a very mature 2 years old, but she is pretty independent. So she is fine playing by herself, and occasionally she will play with Jaron. She'll make faces at him, pat him, bring him toys, etc, and he just adores her, giggling and smiling at her. Two in diapers had really been an non-issue. You change one, then the other. No big deal. Before Jaron was born, I was extremely worried about jealousy. But so far, that hasn't been an issue either. Yes, Meena will sometimes tell me to put Jaron down or to play with her, but it's normal. I can't wait until they can interact more.

I have two sisters. I am in the middle. Older sister is 25 months older than me, then other sister is 18 months younger. I am pretty close to both of them. My two sisters are close, but probably not as close as I am to either of them. They fought more growing up too, but it was more of a personality issue.

 

[janinegirly]

I think 3-4 yrs..I suppose mostly for the parents. 3 years to me is a happy medium.

on a side topic -- how'd the flight go with H??

 

[Dreamer_D]

I think 3-4 yrs..I suppose mostly for the parents. 3 years to me is a happy medium.

on a side topic -- how'd the flight go with H??

The flight out was the worst ever... he cried and writhed and fussed for like 2 hours! But we did not have the car seat, though we did have an empty seat beside us. He just had a hard time falling asleep in my arms. The flight back was bliss, we brought the car seat and he played and at nap time went in the car seat and slept! No crying or fussing the whole time. Lesson learned -- don't fly with a toddler without a car seat!

How was your flight?

 

[janinegirly]

I think 3-4 yrs..I suppose mostly for the parents. 3 years to me is a happy medium.

on a side topic -- how'd the flight go with H??

The flight out was the worst ever... he cried and writhed and fussed for like 2 hours! But we did not have the car seat, though we did have an empty seat beside us. He just had a hard time falling asleep in my arms. The flight back was bliss, we brought the car seat and he played and at nap time went in the car seat and slept! No crying or fussing the whole time. Lesson learned -- don't fly with a toddler without a car seat!

How was your flight?

lol, our flight out was also the worst ever..although not much better on the way back. No empty seat next us..in fact not an extra seat on the entire plane (both ways!). She fussed all the way there (only taking a break to poop) and then cried all the way down. The way back she cried all the way up, then fell asleep from too much crying and then cried the whole way down (no interest in bottles, fruit wraps or Dora DVD/playdoh during crying spells). Oh well!! At least I know mine isn't the only toddler who doesn't like planes! She really wanted to get out or at least walk around and toddler do not like to be told no! One funny thing she did was walk up and down the aisle and pull everyone's earphone cord out, oops!! Interesting on the car seat--from now on we will have to purchase a seat anyway.

sorry for the threadjack.

 

[Miscka]

Hi PSers...wanted to bump this thread to see if anyone had new thoughts on this...Dreamer? Anyone? DS is 15 (almost 16)mo, and I have the baby fever so badly! But we had originally planned on TTC when he turned 2, so I am interested in others experiences!

 

[janinegirly]

ETA: I didn't realize this post was from over 2yrs ago! eek and I responded 2 yrs ago too, lol. I started reading closer and thinking DD again is thinking of another baby, and then realized the date..hehe.

 

[NewEnglandLady]

I would love to see this thread brought back to life since we talk about when to TTC #2 often. I've gone in every direction possible: Before TTC #1, I thought 3 years between kids (if we had #2) would be perfect. Once we had K, I wanted another immediately. Now that I'm back at work and juggling everything, I don't want to try right away. So it seems that #2 around the 2 year mark might be good. I don't know!

 

[Haven]

I just wanted to share that I'm five years (and six grades) older than my sister A, six years older than my sister H, and nine years older than my sister T. I know people worry about their children being close if they have them far apart, and it's true that when we were younger I kind of hated all of them because they were my embarrassing little sisters that I had to babysit all the time. However, once I went away to college we all became very close, and as adults the four of us are best friends.

So, for anyone who wanted their kids to be close together in age but just couldn't or didn't make it happen, there's still hope! Sometimes I feel like the four of us are the closest siblings in the world. I love my sissies.

As for us, I'm pregnant with our first so I'm going to have to wait and see how it goes with one. Ideally, I would like our kids to be closer in age than I was to my sisters, but of course this can all change once I see what it's really like to have a child!

 

[NovemberBride]

NEL,

I don;t think there is a right or wrong answer to this question, but I am happy to share my perspective. My DD will be almost 3 when I have #2 in September. Although #2 is not born yet, I am really happy with the way the spacing is turning out because DD has become so much more independent over the past year. She can now follow most instructions (not that she listens all the time!) and can play independently by herself for a period of time. She is also mostly potty trained. All of these things I think will help make it a little easier when #2 comes along. Aside from those things, I just was not ready to TTC until she was 2. I felt like it took me a whole year to get my body and my sanity back after she was born, and then I wanted a year to just "be me" before getting pregnant again. In that year I took some weekend trips with friends without DD and DH, spent a good amount of time exercising and just generally got my sense of self back. I was 30 when I had DD and although being a mom is a big part of who I am now, it was important to me to get the other parts back (professional, social, etc) after 2 years of being preggo and having a newborn in which the "mom" part of my life took precedence. I knew I only wanted one more child, so I also didn't feel a huge rush to TTC again quickly. My DH was ready long before I was, but then again he didn't have to be pregnant. I would not have wanted it any other way.

 

[amc80]

Our current plan is to space our kids two years apart. Baby #1 is due 8/14. We are planning another cruise in November 2013. Baby #1 will be about 15 months. I think we'll start around that time for #2.

DH would like the kids to be a year apart. Not going to happen unless 1) he figures out a way to be pregnant, or 2)there's a little oopsie. I want at least a year off between babies to have my body as my own.

 

[janinegirly]

Ok I'll answer it again 2 years later, lol. My answer is still 3 years, although it's only been 8 mo's since we've had #2 (3yrs and 1 month after DD1), so ask me again in a few years.

My reasoning for 3 yrs is it seems like a good compromise in being far enough apart that there is some breathing room for the parents (when they are young, but also in college years), but also some room for individuality and attention since they will be at different stages through the years. But close enough that they can relate and play. Not having both in diapers helps, having one in preschool and old enough to be a little helper (and want to be) does make it easier. However it did mean having a newborn with a 3 year old which can be challenging as well.

Still it does ultimately depend on each child, the family dynamic and if same sex/different sex siblings.

In my own case my sister is 11yrs younger which I'm sure would be panned as the worst possible spacing, yet we are best of friends. Our relationship evolved over the years, from me being mommy-sister , to bossy sister (teen years) to best friend (now that she is in her 20's).

 

[Miscka]

I would love to see this thread brought back to life since we talk about when to TTC #2 often. I've gone in every direction possible: Before TTC #1, I thought 3 years between kids (if we had #2) would be perfect. Once we had K, I wanted another immediately. Now that I'm back at work and juggling everything, I don't want to try right away. So it seems that #2 around the 2 year mark might be good. I don't know!

This is EXACTLY how it went for us. Right after I had DS I wanted another ASAP, but as he got older and there was more to deal with, I pushed it off for sure.

My own brother was 7 years younger than me, and I definitely viewed him as more my baby than anything. He passed away last year, but I wonder if that would have changed as we grew older, I think it would have. Losing him has kind of made me want DS to have a sibling closer, and preferably 2 siblings also, as DS has grown it has become more and more apparent that he is EXTREMELY social, he loves everyone. I think he would be an excellent big brother...when the time comes