Photos of my e-ring, am I being too picky about the setting?

[junebug17]

Re: Photos of my e-ring, am I being too picky about the sett

Thanks for posting a pic on your hand little birdie, I had been wondering what it looks like IRL - I think it looks quite a bit better in your pic than in the enlarged ones from WF. That the stone is heart-shaped is apparent in your pics. Hopefully Tacori will be willing to make changes so that you are happier with it - I'm thinking at the least maybe the prongs could be shaved down, particularly the lower ones. I agree that this seems more like a modification as opposed to customization, I think you have a good argument there. Please let us know how you make out.

 

[kefira]

Re: Photos of my e-ring, am I being too picky about the sett

I think the ring looks much prettier on your hand than it did in the initial pictures. With the right wedding band the lower prongs may become even less obvious, blending into the diamonds or metal below, if that makes sense. Congrats on your engagement!

 

[Dreamer_D]

Re: Photos of my e-ring, am I being too picky about the sett

What does the profile on the ring look like? If you have a local jeweler who is really really good and either hand forges or else has a bench in house at least, they may be able to make a new head for your shank. It would void the warranty... but the warranty isn't worth much anyway IMO.

 

[aljdewey]

Re: Photos of my e-ring, am I being too picky about the sett

And this is what I'd tell them, exactly. I'd send the ring right back to them, explain that you paid a customization fee. Not just a fee to stick a heart on the thing, but to make the heart shape work with the shank. And that you are unhappy and want them to fix the bleeping prong issue to your satisfaction. And that before they go off half cocked you want to approve any changes so that you can be sure you will like and approve of the final product.

I'm not trying to be difficult, Gypsy, but I just don't see how there's basis to demand this.

She asked in advance for modifications to the prongs and was told no, Tacori wouldn't do it (presumably because those prongs are integral to the design element). She knew this before the ring was made and went forward with it anyway. How is that now someone else's financial problem? She also agreed to leave it to their discretion as to 3- or 5-prongs, so there's no basis there either? And, she knew this was non-refundable.

I think the ring does look very much in line the same feel of the original ring, and I think for what it is (designer setting with specifically huge prongs), it does 'work' with the shank.

The only thing at issue here is that she doesn't like it, which I fully understand and do empathize with, but I don't see where that makes it someone else's problem financially.

Beyond that, this is also a design integrity issue. In this instance, Tacori isn't merely the bench executing someone else's design vision; they are the designer, and LB is buying their vision. Designers are often very unwillingly to compromise the integrity of their designs, and if they wouldn't agree to modify pre-sale, I can't see them agreeing to do it post-sale.

I think that leaves LB at having to go to someone else to have the prongs worked on if that's what she wants. It will invalidate the warranty, as Dreamer said, but LB may determine the prong fix more important to her in the long run.

 

[yssie]

Re: Photos of my e-ring, am I being too picky about the sett

And this is what I'd tell them, exactly. I'd send the ring right back to them, explain that you paid a customization fee. Not just a fee to stick a heart on the thing, but to make the heart shape work with the shank. And that you are unhappy and want them to fix the bleeping prong issue to your satisfaction. And that before they go off half cocked you want to approve any changes so that you can be sure you will like and approve of the final product.

I'm not trying to be difficult, Gypsy, but I just don't see how there's basis to demand this.

She asked in advance for modifications to the prongs and was told no, Tacori wouldn't do it (presumably because those prongs are integral to the design element). She knew this before the ring was made and went forward with it anyway. How is that now someone else's financial problem? She also agreed to leave it to their discretion as to 3- or 5-prongs, so there's no basis there either? And, she knew this was non-refundable.

I think the ring does look very much in line the same feel of the original ring, and I think for what it is (designer setting with specifically huge prongs), it does 'work' with the shank.

The only thing at issue here is that she doesn't like it, which I fully understand and do empathize with, but I don't see where that makes it someone else's problem financially.

Beyond that, this is also a design integrity issue. In this instance, Tacori isn't merely the bench executing someone else's design vision; they are the designer, and LB is buying their vision. Designers are often very unwillingly to compromise the integrity of their designs, and if they wouldn't agree to modify pre-sale, I can't see them agreeing to do it post-sale.

I think that leaves LB at having to go to someone else to have the prongs worked on if that's what she wants. It will invalidate the warranty, as Dreamer said, but LB may determine the prong fix more important to her in the long run.

This is my main concern with this approach. The design is Tacori's. Tacori chose to execute their design in this specific way. Having another jeweller re-work the aesthetic subverts the intent of the original designer... after the changes the ring carries the Tacori name but the design is no longer an "original Tacori", nor is it an "inspired-by"... what is it? I also think that modifications like this can be quite pricey to do well, and they're still risky (in terms of both achieving the desired look and compromising the structure of the ring)

I think your WF rep should have steered you from this design more forcefully from the beginning, honestly, but that isn't helpful right now. I hope WF and Tacori will work with you to either modify this ring or propose an alternative that necessitates minimal additional financial investment!! Because I hate to think of a PSer "living with" her brand new engagement ring

 

[aljdewey]

Re: Photos of my e-ring, am I being too picky about the sett

This is my main concern with this approach. The design is Tacori's. Tacori chose to execute their design in this specific way. Having another jeweller re-work the aesthetic subverts the intent of the original designer... after the changes the ring carries the Tacori name but the design is no longer an "original Tacori", nor is it an "inspired-by"... what is it? I also think that modifications like this can be quite pricey to do well, and they're still risky (in terms of both achieving the desired look and compromising the structure of the ring.

I think the above only matters if the OP set out to own "A Tacori", and from her details earlier in the thread, that wasn't the goal. What she wanted wasn't the Tacori name/label; she just wanted that shank design. Now she's in a position where she has money sunk into that setting that she can't get back, so the most logical route would be to modify that setting.

I agree with you that a full head replacement would be too risky, but her primary issue is the lower two prongs. I think a skilled bench could reshape and perhaps slightly shave down those prongs to make LB happier with the aesthetic outline of her stone, which is her priority.

I think your WF rep should have steered you from this design more forcefully from the beginning

I really gotta disagree with this premise. While this particular client is disappointed, it's also entirely possible that 10 other people could make the same choice and be thrilled with the result produced. I feel It's not for the S/A to decide what a client should do; her role is to make recommendations, not strong arm choices.

The S/A did tell LB that she should consider another setting style if she had concerns/reservations, and I believe that's the limit of what she should be expected to do. I remember distinctly a few years back when CehraBehra designed a ring and the designer really strongly encouraged her to modify the design. She acknowledged that her taste wasn't for most, but it was positively what she wanted.....and she was right. She was thrilled with the net result, and it looked great on her.

LB seemed equally certain that the most important thing to her was getting this shank......and she got it.

 

[VRBeauty]

Re: Photos of my e-ring, am I being too picky about the sett

What does the profile on the ring look like? If you have a local jeweler who is really really good and either hand forges or else has a bench in house at least, they may be able to make a new head for your shank. It would void the warranty... but the warranty isn't worth much anyway IMO.

I agree with Dreamer. Choose your jeweler carefully because it would require a skilled jeweler to do this, but I think this is the best approach.

Even in the other round-to-heart conversion little birdie showed, Tacori adapted a 4-prong head to a heart shaped diamond by adding a 5th prong. The difference main difference between that setting and LB's setting is the shape (and prominence) of the prongs. The best design with the OP's prongs would be for Tacori to change their 4-prong head to a 3-prong head and add inconspicuous supplementary prongs on the side... but that's a major departure from the original design and that I doubt Tacori would agree to.

 

[Gypsy]

Re: Photos of my e-ring, am I being too picky about the sett

Aldj, I do understand and appreciate your point. I think the best solution would be to go back in time and NOT pick this setting. But that's not possible. I'm trying to think of ways forward that are solutions, instead of just telling the OP, well, it's all your fault so suck it up. Do you have any suggestions that are constructive and offer a solution for the OP?

I don't know what it would cost to have WF laser cut the entire head off the shank (we'd need profile shots) and stick something better on there. And I don't know that if they did so WF would warrant the work. But that may be the best way to go about this.

She won't be able to sell the setting. I can't imagine anyone buying it for any price that would make it worth her time. So I think we need to come up with cost effective ways of helping her get a setting she can live with.

 

[pyramid]

Re: Photos of my e-ring, am I being too picky about the sett

I think the ring looks fine now seeing the photos on the hand, I was imagining the bottom two prongs being further up towards the
middle of the stone. My feeling is I would not like it with just three square looking prongs, and if the bottom prongs were
removed I would not like it with just two square prongs at the top. I could live with if there were some claw type prongs put
in place of the bottom prongs, maybe double claw shape so they were wider like the original square shaped prongs at the top.
I wouldn't want little prongs as then it would look three prong like again. I think Tacori are the best qualified to decide what
looks best and it is their design. I would either keep as is or change the entire setting.

 

[aljdewey]

Re: Photos of my e-ring, am I being too picky about the sett

I'm trying to think of ways forward that are solutions, instead of just telling the OP, well, it's all your fault so suck it up. Do you have any suggestions that are constructive and offer a solution for the OP?

Who told her to suck it up? I know I didn't, and I really don't see anyone else saying that either. What I've said is that I think it's a waste of her time to go back to Tacori to plead for 1) a modification they wouldn't do the first time around and are unlikely to do now, and 2) would cost her a boatload in return shipping and more incurred taxes even if they were inclined to agree to it, and 3) could potentially STILL leave her unhappy.

And yes, I did most certainly offer a constructive suggestion - it's above, but I'm happy to repeat it. Her primary issue is the lower two prongs. (She has said if those could be amended, she'd be happy with the ring.) I think a skilled bench could reshape and perhaps slightly shave down those prongs to make LB happier with the aesthetic outline of her stone, which is her priority.

This would get her closer to what she asked for in the first place, it would not require much more sunk cost, and it wouldn't compromise the setting nearly as much as ripping out an integrated head. Also, assuming she can find a good local bench, it would also avoid shipping and paying taxes again.

My definition and your definition of 'constructive' just vary. I honestly just don't feel like it's constructive to encourage her to spend more negative energy (and potentially more time and money) fighting with vendors over a ring that's supposed to bring her joy, and I don't think it's wise to encourage a path that may also cause difficult feelings with her fiance. I don't have it in me to do that. It's not how I'd want to spend my time, so I recommended something else that I think will feel more empowering to her and hopefully yield more satisfactory results.

 

[teobdl]

Re: Photos of my e-ring, am I being too picky about the sett

Looks like a beautiful diamond! Such a lovely shape.

I agree that the only mod needed is for the 2 side prongs. My worry is that it looks like the bottom metal piece is less structural and more to protect that edge from chipping. Tough to tell without seeing a profile view. If that's the case, it may mean that you really don't want to mess with the side prongs unless you're also able to bolster the bottom one. Anyways, probably a skilled jeweler would be able to do it, but it would void the warranty.

Speaking of which, what reason would LB have for wanting to maintain the Tacori warranty, especially if it's insured? Sounds like it'd be a huge expense and hassle to ship it overseas back to Tacori if something where to go wrong, so it might be a good time to start making friends with a local jeweler now. See who's best qualified to do any kind of work you may need in the future.

 

[Gypsy]

Re: Photos of my e-ring, am I being too picky about the sett

I'm trying to think of ways forward that are solutions, instead of just telling the OP, well, it's all your fault so suck it up. Do you have any suggestions that are constructive and offer a solution for the OP?

I wasn't being pointed Aljd. Although in re-reading my post I can see how you think that.

I just meant that I was trying to help the OP find a solution that worked for her, and if you had any suggestions, considering your experience both in the trade and with WF in particular, it would be nice to hear it.

I honestly just don't feel like it's constructive to encourage her to spend more negative energy (and potentially more time and money) fighting with vendors over a ring that's supposed to bring her joy, and I don't think it's wise to encourage a path that may also cause difficult feelings with her fiance. I don't have it in me to do that. It's not how I'd want to spend my time, so I recommended something else that I think will feel more empowering to her and hopefully yield more satisfactory results.

And I agree, you are right about this. Moving forward instead of looking back is probably the most helpful path.

 

[tanzanitelover]

Re: Photos of my e-ring, am I being too picky about the sett

Sorry about all your issues.

You should be able to contact customs, if/when you return the ring for the prongs to be changed - and state that the ring is being " repaired". This means that not only will you not have to pay export tax again , but also means you wont be liable for additional " import tax & GST " when the ring goes back to Tacori into Austalia! You will need to include the original export documents when you send the ring back to Australia.

I would put the onus on Tacori to organise this with their shipping agents to do for you.

 

[Sky56]

Re: Photos of my e-ring, am I being too picky about the sett

If it can be done, I'd like to see those 4 prongs shaved. I hope you don't mind me taking the liberty of playing with your ring picture with my Paint program.

I think eliminating the prominence of those prongs turns your heart ring into a gorgeous stunner. The heart shape pops in the altered picture.

 

[little_birdie]

Re: Photos of my e-ring, am I being too picky about the sett

Woah, I've just come back to all these responses.
I did not think this would get PSer's so fired up amongst each other, I am so sorry!
WF said they will speak to Tacori about what can we done, we will wait till then. They said it would be a few days before we hear back. If it does go back it will be listed as 'for repair' so customs wont be a problem. I'm not sure how much it will be. If we do need a jeweller then I have one in mind I would like to look into-am thinking of getting them to make the wedding band so its ok. My SO has held off the engagement until the decision with the ring is made because he would like to propose with the exact same ring that we will keep. Its really sweet but I'm so impatient I feel almost like keeping thr ring as is to move things along since timing this week would have been perfect with three interstate friends coming to visit for different reasona and it would have been so good to celebrate together!

 

[Tourmaline]

Re: Photos of my e-ring, am I being too picky about the sett

It would take a local jeweler five minutes to grind/sand down the prongs! Seriously. The stone wouldn't need to be removed. I think it's absurd to care so much about Tacori at this point. Five minutes, no shipping, no big deal, beautiful result.

 

[aljdewey]

Re: Photos of my e-ring, am I being too picky about the sett

I wasn't being pointed Aljd. Although in re-reading my post I can see how you think that.

I just meant that I was trying to help the OP find a solution that worked for her, and if you had any suggestions, considering your experience both in the trade and with WF in particular, it would be nice to hear it.

No worries, Gypsy. We're totally good. I think the great takeaway is that we all really want to help her, and that's fantastic.

Maybe it's a sign of my age coming through , but I'm finding the path of quickest resolution is normally my default now. I just don't have the energy to fight what feels like losing battles if there's a better way around it. It feels like eons ago since I got engaged now, but I do distinctly recall the impatience and anticipation I felt when the ring was in progress, and I'm pretty sure I'd have had a hard time parting with it when all I really wanted to do was wear it. That's heavily impacting my recommendation now, too.

More than anything, I feel so badly when the angst over a ring ends up being a sore point between the giver and receiver. I'd do a lot to avoid making that worse.

 

[Gypsy]

Re: Photos of my e-ring, am I being too picky about the sett

I wasn't being pointed Aljd. Although in re-reading my post I can see how you think that.

I just meant that I was trying to help the OP find a solution that worked for her, and if you had any suggestions, considering your experience both in the trade and with WF in particular, it would be nice to hear it.

No worries, Gypsy. We're totally good. I think the great takeaway is that we all really want to help her, and that's fantastic.

Maybe it's a sign of my age coming through , but I'm finding the path of quickest resolution is normally my default now. I just don't have the energy to fight what feels like losing battles if there's a better way around it. It feels like eons ago since I got engaged now, but I do distinctly recall the impatience and anticipation I felt when the ring was in progress, and I'm pretty sure I'd have had a hard time parting with it when all I really wanted to do was wear it. That's heavily impacting my recommendation now, too.

More than anything, I feel so badly when the angst over a ring ends up being a sore point between the giver and receiver. I'd do a lot to avoid making that worse.

Putting myself in other's shoes is a talent I am still working on getting right, and I often screw up with that aspect of things. So I appreciate your ability to do so, and to remind me of it.

 

[charks]

Re: Photos of my e-ring, am I being too picky about the sett

Hi little birdie,

My 50 cents worth - well 50p 'cos I'm English.

I think Sky56 is on the right track.

Her photo-shopped ring looks really nice.

The problem that you have, and me also, is buying from US.

When all goes well you get a much better product at a better price.

But when it goes wrong you get a major headache dealing with customs.

They make it so difficult to return stuff for modifications.

You often end up paying 2 sets of duty then filling out endless forms to get a refund.

And then there's all that delay when you're dying to wear the ring.

It's a shame there are no Tacori dealers in OZ so any alterations you make will void the warranty but it would be interesting to know how many Tacori rings need the warranty.

Your stone is so pretty it would be a shame to hide it's light under a bushel - sorry, I meant prongs!

Best of luck,

Charlotte

 

[missy]

Re: Photos of my e-ring, am I being too picky about the sett

If it can be done, I'd like to see those 4 prongs shaved. I hope you don't mind me taking the liberty of playing with your ring picture with my Paint program.

I think eliminating the prominence of those prongs turns your heart ring into a gorgeous stunner. The heart shape pops in the altered picture.

Love this rendition Sky posted for you. Subtle change that makes all the difference IMO. Beautiful.
After vs Before...

 

[MarionC]

Re: Photos of my e-ring, am I being too picky about the sett

It would take a local jeweler five minutes to grind/sand down the prongs! Seriously. The stone wouldn't need to be removed. I think it's absurd to care so much about Tacori at this point. Five minutes, no shipping, no big deal, beautiful result.

+1
with disclaimer...

I've been studying the setting from the side [if I have found the exact right setting] and it will take some finesse to diminish the prongs. They have a quite strong design element coming up off the shank and to merely shave the square corners might do something weird looking. If the OP can find a great bench it will help.

 

[Dreamer_D]

Re: Photos of my e-ring, am I being too picky about the sett

I don't think shaving the prongs is an option given the design of the head. I think a new head would be required. Ideally, Tacori will do that for you, even if it costs some more money. Honestly, for $3k I would hope for some help in fixing this, not necessarily for free, but at least in terms of offering their services and help.

Can you just propose to your boyfriend?? It seems sad to postpone your engagement over this. In life all sorts of things will happen that are unexpected that you will have to go through as a couple. You don't want to always postpone those special moments because of these little hiccups. And remember: This does not HAVE to become a huge deal to you both. You can choose how you want to handle this emotionally and psychologically. For example, you can choose to just love your ring as a symbol and chuckle about the butterfly prongs. One day you may change the setting, or maybe not and you won't even care! You two can choose to be calm and practical about this, or build it up into an engagement-ruining moment. It really is your choice, and I hope you are able to choose the easier path.

Anyway, hopefully WF will be able to help you find a resolution. That is the simplest course of action.

 

[pyramid]

Re: Photos of my e-ring, am I being too picky about the sett

I was meaning the same in my earlier post, the sides are too flat that to just shave down the prongs may end up with
it looking funny looking like an amateur has done it. The prongs are the design. If they are not what the owner
wants they should take it up with Whiteflash that they don't feel the design looks correct on a heart shape and see
if Tacori will allow them to return as they did not see any cad drawing beforehand. The fact that the Whiteflash sales
assistant did try to dissuade you from going that route though may mean you agreed to the custom ring and just have to bear the cost and get another setting.
It is better to pay out money though than have this go on for years, and I hope the owner and her fiance to be see
it that way. It is meant to be a ring you love at the time of your engagement and not like 8 years later.

It would take a local jeweler five minutes to grind/sand down the prongs! Seriously. The stone wouldn't need to be removed. I think it's absurd to care so much about Tacori at this point. Five minutes, no shipping, no big deal, beautiful result.

+1
with disclaimer...

I've been studying the setting from the side [if I have found the exact right setting] and it will take some finesse to diminish the prongs. They have a quite strong design element coming up off the shank and to merely shave the square corners might do something weird looking. If the OP can find a great bench it will help.

 

[little_birdie]

Re: Photos of my e-ring, am I being too picky about the sett

Thank you for all the responses. Since I have had so much say in the ring already, it would be taking it away from my SO to propose to him too. I think he would be quite sad if I did that. He doesn't mind postponing, he says all that matters is that we're together and spending time together (we were previously in a LDR).
WF has emailed back, they're not sure what Tacori will do but they want us to ship the ring back and they will do whatever is necessary to have us happy with the ring which makes us feel glad that we went with WF. Things could have been much worse.
I think now that some time has passed we're not that upset about all that's happened with the ring, the important thing is the relationship itself and we're happy together.
My SO knows I love the diamond. He keeps teasing me that i'm at home staring at the ring! (He's left it in my possession for now, saying he likes knowing I have it )

 

[CharmyPoo]

Re: Photos of my e-ring, am I being too picky about the sett

I hope everything works out for you. WF is a stand-up vendor from what I have seen.

Grand scheme of things .. the ring is so insignificant. My husband deferred the proposal because of a ring too (he ended up proposing with a paper ring). I think back now and not haing a ring is such a silly reason as it is so insignificant in our life.

 

[missy]

Re: Photos of my e-ring, am I being too picky about the sett

Little birdie it sounds like WF will make it right for you whatever that involves and in the meantime good for you guys for putting it in perspective and knowing what really matters. I agree with others about not postponing your engagement till the ring is "perfect" but of course that is up to the both of you. It's just so true that things happen all the time and why put happy events on hold when they do if you don't have to. He could propose with a band or a cracker jacks ring (in fact that would make a cute awww story if you kwim).

The main thing is you have each other and if you want to celebrate with friends/family that are visiting now why make yourselves wait? Anyway just wanted to chime in with my opinion because other people's life experience can sometimes be valuable in your own life. Wishing you guys all the best for a lifetime of love and happiness together no matter the hurdles that might occur.

ETA: Charmypoo-I just read your post above and awww, I love the story about your engagement with a paper ring and I totally agree. The ring itself is truly insignificant. The love you share with your SO is everything. Thank you for sharing that story.

 

[little_birdie]

Re: Photos of my e-ring, am I being too picky about the sett

Thanks everyone, just a quick update: Tacori said they will fix the prongs so it'll be sent to them (WF will reimburse our shipping). We are so relieved.

I agree about the importance of the ring to everything else. Last year before he could afford a ring I was hoping he would just propose with a charm in the shape of an engagement ring (thomas sabo has one and he buys me a charm for each birthday/christmas). I think because it's been so long he feels he owes it to me to get things 'perfect'. It is a sweet thought!
I brought up my friends visiting and he said 'oh, why dont you wear the ring and show it to them?' 'Because I feel like a fraud pretending I'm engaged!'

 

[teobdl]

Re: Photos of my e-ring, am I being too picky about the sett

 

[junebug17]

Re: Photos of my e-ring, am I being too picky about the sett

Great news!!!

 

[yssie]

Re: Photos of my e-ring, am I being too picky about the sett

Fantastic!!

Please make sure you and your WF rep (and your WF rep and Tacori) are in communication re. exactly what the "fix" will entail! As in, make sure you understand and are comfortable with what will they do, how will they do it, and how will the ring look afterward before they start the modifications.