Please advise on a stray cat, so conflicted

[Daisys and Diamonds]

I don't think I could ever NOT keep a cat out who clearly showed bonding signals. My Mom has a cat who we call "half feral". He has indoor/outdoor access to her house and comes in to get affection only from her/to hide from bad weather/to eat. It's their happy medium to keep him safe while keeping him sane (he needs to go out).

last night Tibby came in from hanging out on the neighbour's lawn about 9pm
ate some (more) dinner and lay down on his cushion then came to bed when i went, ate 3 cat lollies (ok 7) then went to sleep purring
he got up at one stage to have a drink
but at 3am he was moewimg all over the house to be let back out
he get's a bit dramatic and throws himself aganist the front door ...so we let him out after a few minutes if he doesnt settle down/ use the dirt box

7am he's moewing under my window waking us up for breakfast

its very difficult with an adult cat to tell them im the mommy and im in charge when they (both Tibby and Borris) came to us as adult strays of their own accord

 

[737liz]

Just a quick message to say thank you to everyone for responding. I suspected this forum would encourage me to take him in. I am glad I asked as I really needed the choir to validate my position!

I have told my friends that I want to take him in and they are trying to get ahold of the neighbors who are on vacation to ask them if it is ok. If they object I will insist that they assume more responsibility for him, such as setting up their garage for him and taking him to the vet regularly. I kinda feel like it isn't even their decision anymore since they didn't take any steps to care for him up to now. But I don't want to be the reason my friends end up in a spat with the neighbors. And definitely don't want to cause unnecessary tensions between my friends and me. So, diplomacy it is.

My friends are good people, who did try to set up a winter house for the cat but due to their dog he never used it.

Again thank you all for contributing and sharing your success stories!

 

[Niffler75]

@737lizakg Good luck, hope it works out and let us know how you get on!

 

[JPie]

I hope all goes well! Would love to see updates in the future.

 

[Daisys and Diamonds]

good luck and best wishes @737lizakg

 

[missy]

Just a quick message to say thank you to everyone for responding. I suspected this forum would encourage me to take him in. I am glad I asked as I really needed the choir to validate my position!

I have told my friends that I want to take him in and they are trying to get ahold of the neighbors who are on vacation to ask them if it is ok. If they object I will insist that they assume more responsibility for him, such as setting up their garage for him and taking him to the vet regularly. I kinda feel like it isn't even their decision anymore since they didn't take any steps to care for him up to now. But I don't want to be the reason my friends end up in a spat with the neighbors. And definitely don't want to cause unnecessary tensions between my friends and me. So, diplomacy it is.

My friends are good people, who did try to set up a winter house for the cat but due to their dog he never used it.

Again thank you all for contributing and sharing your success stories!

@737lizakg good luck. May I ask why you need the permission of the neighbors? Am I wrong in my understanding that no one has taken responsibility for this cat? That the neighbors feed him but that is where it ends. They do not shelter him nor do they take care of his health.

I get your wish for being polite and diplomatic but IMO their permission is a moot point. They do not "own" this cat nor even feel (IMO from what you wrote) much responsibility towards him. I hope you are able to see your way clear to rescue him and give him a happy life for whatever time he has left.

Thank you for being his angel and taking responsibility for his life. From the bottom of my heart thank you. If the world had more people like you it would be a kinder and better world.



ETA: to share a quick story.Tommy our cat was a mouser where I worked. Greg and I would visit him on the weekends. He was kept under the most dire conditions. Dark and dirty with little food. I would see him every day and feed him and on weekends when the building was closed we would visit him. I worked on getting the super to let me take him to the vet for vaccinations and neutering. It took some time but I was successful. My boss threatened my job if I did anything to take the cat without permission. I didn't care and was quite prepared to cat nap him and take him and give him a good home. It didn't come to that and fortunately the super let me take him and then keep him. There is more to the story but suffice to say we have now had Tommy for almost 11 years and he is a sweet boy. I shudder to think of what his future would have been without us stepping in and taking him. You can and will make a difference in this cat's life. There is no better gift you can give him than a good life filled with love and safe shelter. Thank you.


Here is a photo of Tommy right after we rescued him from the basement and took him home. Look at that face.
Look at his tongue. What a precious baby. He was about 2 when we adopted him and Greg and I were/are so grateful he didn't have to spend the rest of his life in a dark dirty basement with very little food and no companionship.

 

[MarionC]

I am late to this thread because I was afraid it was going to be a sad story, but it’s not!
In my experience with a big crew of dogs and cats a bunny a parrot etc. eventually everyone comes to an understanding and there’s mutual respect. All the best to you and your new baby

 

[Mreader]

I happened to stumble upon this thread. Did you take this baby? He’s beautiful.

 

[HollyJane]

Hi all, I need some unbiased advice about a stray cat. Long story short: what is more important for the cat, freedom or affection?


Long story:

I have friends who live in a neighborhood with a deaf stray cat. Several families feed it, occasionally pet him, but for 7 plus years he has been living outside.


This summer we moved in to take care of the house (and to escape the heat of our apartment) while my friends were away. He was dangerously skinny, wobbly, and just sick looking.

I had a charity take him in. I suspected he may have a chip (he didn't), and he loiked like he needed a lot of vet care. He was dewormed, vaccinated and had blood tests. When I called and asked if I could see him, the charity said he wasn't deaf, was healthy, and that he should be released back on the streets. I obliged and took him back to his neighborhood.

He has gained weight and looks better after 6 weeks of me constantly encouraging him to feed (he tends to continue eating if I pet him). The problem is that the neighbors (my friends included) who feed him all have dogs, and the cat obviously doesn't venture to their gardens often if they are around.

I strongly feel he should be inside as he is a very tiny cat who doesn't seem to be able to hunt effectively for his food. He is nearly 10 years old, DEFINITELY deaf, and is very affectionate, despite being skittish and wary. There are also a few foxes in the area.

The charity said he seemed too feral to rehome and unhappy being caged. But with me, he will sit for up to an hour getting scritches. He has never hissed, scratched, or bitten, even when I caught him and kept him in a crate overnight waiting for the charity. At the shelter he just crawled into my lap, dug his nose into my chest, and shook like a leaf. He is a craintif but gentle kitty. He did soil himself when crated, and when being taken back from the shelter. Anyone who took him in would have had a long adjustment period.

I had initially wanted to take him in but we have two rather 'catty' cats who are also literally twice his size. Seeing as he was assessed to be better off outside, I am reluctant to lock him into a small appartement with other cats. I am not sure I will be able to find a reliable person who would be willing to try to adapt him to indoor living. Being deaf, he cannot be rehomed somewhere else with outdoor access, as venturing outside somewhere new is too risky, and no one in the current neighborhood can/will take full responsibility for him.

I do not want to be the person who ignores the experts and claims to 'know better'. But my gut tells me he would be a very happy lap cat after a rough first few months.

Sorry for the ill composed ramble.

My question: should I take him in to prolong his life, giving him the affection which he obviously wants, at the expense of his freedom, solitude, and outside access? What would you do?

Thank you all for taking the time to read all this.

Yes. Take him in. He will adjust to being inside and being a house cat. He loves and trusts you. Bring him in. Start him in with one room, and slowly integrate him into your household.

 

[737liz]

No, i haven't updated this because I wasn't able to take him. And am quite bitter about it. He is still in the neighborhood. The main house that feeds him really upped their game though. They put a fence up so that their dog stays away from one side of the garden, and have been a lot more hands on (literally). Learning I wanted to take him was a shock to them as they thought they had been doing 'well'. They have my number and call me if they go away so I can feed him. He looks healthier now. But I still think he needs to be inside. The rest of the neighborhood except one person thinks it would be mean to keep him inside though. So not the happiest of endings. I just keep telling myself that he is alive and fed and fussed over 2x a day, and still has his freedom, and is probably happy.

 

[Mreader]

No, i haven't updated this because I wasn't able to take him. And am quite bitter about it. He is still in the neighborhood. The main house that feeds him really upped their game though. They put a fence up so that their dog stays away from one side of the garden, and have been a lot more hands on (literally). Learning I wanted to take him was a shock to them as they thought they had been doing 'well'. They have my number and call me if they go away so I can feed him. He looks healthier now. But I still think he needs to be inside. The rest of the neighborhood except one person thinks it would be mean to keep him inside though. So not the happiest of endings. I just keep telling myself that he is alive and fed and fussed over 2x a day, and still has his freedom, and is probably happy.

Thank you so much for updating. How strange that ppl would think a cat, particularly one who cannot hear, would be happier outside. I’m glad that the neighbors have made some more effort though and that he looks healthier. Your efforts still bettered his life. Hugs.

 

[MissyBeaucoup]

Bless you for all you did to help this kitty! It sounds like you helped him to have a better life.