Please pray for my daughter

[susimoo]

I am late to this thread.

Maisie, I am so sorry you are going through this. I will remember you all in my thoughts. Sending positive vibes your way!!

 

[somethingshiny]

You and your family will be in my prayers. I can't imagine how difficult it must be to see your daughter going through this. I think you've been given great advice and have made a good start in stopping the behavior. You're doing a great job!

 

[Maisie]

I genuinely believe the self harming is recent. She is usually an open book and I believe her when she says she has only done it since she met this boy. We have had a lot of discussions about what happened and she has been happy to talk over her thoughts, feelings and emotions. I know things have been confusing for her and we are working on why she felt this was her only option. There was a lot of secrecy around this new 'relationship' and it was instigated by the boy. I just hope and pray I don't find out that anything sexual happened

 

[soocool]

Maise, Hugs to you!

14 is a very difficult age.Teens today have so much more to deal with than we did. My DD who will be 18 in December has a friend who started cutting herself last year.

 

[yssie]

I genuinely believe the self harming is recent. She is usually an open book and I believe her when she says she has only done it since she met this boy. We have had a lot of discussions about what happened and she has been happy to talk over her thoughts, feelings and emotions. I know things have been confusing for her and we are working on why she felt this was her only option. There was a lot of secrecy around this new 'relationship' and it was instigated by the boy. I just hope and pray I don't find out that anything sexual happened

Maisie, you're doing everything right by talking with her - and not at her. I'm so glad to hear that she's willing to confide in you!

 

[geckodani]

Maisie - Huge hugs to you. This is NOT your fault, and you are already taking wonderful steps to help your little girl. Not the same scenario, but I was in an abusive relationship at that age, and was left with my self esteem in shambles. I know my mother blamed herself after the fact, thinking that she should somehow have known and put a stop to it. In reality, her love and support is what got me going again, and still sustains me to this day.

You said that she has a strong group of friends, and in my experience that was the most helpful when I was trying to come back from that relationship. Being alone... was not good.

You said that her father has been out of contact, and that might be reinforcing the self esteem problems. If she was depressed and lost her self esteem to the point of harming herself, in my opinion the most important thing is to help reinforce her self worth. Easier said than done, I know, and it will probably be a slow process. Most of all, listen, which it sounds like you are already doing. The fact that she trusts you enough to talk to you about it already is huge as well, and will hopefully help a lot.

Prayers, hugs and dust coming your way Maisie.

 

[anchor31]

I will be praying for your daughter and her friend... When I was 16, I briefly dated a boy who attempted suicide after I broke things off with him because he was too clingy and serious. I felt extremely guilty and began to self-harm. I never told anyone about it, if anyone knew they never said. I sought help about a year later, and it really helped me. I have not been self-destructive since. So I hope your daughter and her friend get all the help they need, and you too, dear Maisie! You are a wonderful mom.

 

[lyra]

Maisie, I went through something similar with my daughter, but she was a few years older when it started. It turned out that it was a symptom of something bigger, something in all likelihood genetic. She has been in therapy and has had to try different meds, and she still has rough patches, but she's doing great now. I was pretty shocked when I first found out, because I thought to myself, "What if I lose her? What if she did something drastic and didn't say a word to me first?". It was a scary time, and a guilt ridden time for me too, although depression and other issues run deep in both my family and my husband's. I agree with others who are saying don't place blame on the boy. He may just be a small part of this, you don't know yet. It's great you are being proactive. With my daughter, there was no cause, no situation to blame really, it was just that she has a condition that requires treatment, and probably will have it the rest of her life. Meanwhile, she is a beautiful young woman with a bright future ahead of her. Try to accept anything she has to say at this point, and no matter how it makes you feel, continue to support her and communicate. Good luck, and take care!

 

[katebar]

Maisie so sorry that your DD is going through this but it sounds like you are on the right track with care and support you are giving her.