Please send me your strength...

[Beacon]

Gosh this is sad. I am sure he is depressed; it''s a very frightening thing he is facing. If I were you, I would not wait around and ask for "permission" to talk to anyone. Go ahead and call them.

Even if nothing comes of it, at least you will have expressed yourself and tried to change how things are going. You can try the best to support your BIL by showing up and being supportive. How is your sister dealing with this?

This is a very tough situation and such young people involved. Some people cannot face adversity and want to run from it. Maybe that is what his brother is doing. Maybe his brother has a secret fear that he could get such a cancer too and cannot deal with it.

But he should try to communicate and be there for his brother. He might regret it in future years if he just drops the ball on this one.

 

[KristyDarling]

Milly -- I''m so sorry you and your hubby''s (or is it your sister?) family are going through this. The avoidant behavior shown by his family sounds pretty typical in some Asian families....it''s like they''re afraid to talk about it for fear of actually having to experience those intense emotions. You are doing the right thing by being there for your husband and your BIL. Try not to fret too much about the other relatives'' behavior because that will only stress you out even more...unfortunately, you can''t change how other people deal with their feelings. All you can do is your personal best. You sound like such a caring, kind person. I''ll be thinking of him and his family.

 

[anchor31]

Thoughts and prayers outgoing... It''s such a hard thing to go through! I hope he''ll be okay.

 

[cutes814]

guys, thank you so much for all the support.

to clear up the confusion, david is my husband''s 2nd younger brother. i had a talk with sam and he agreed that i should call his 1st younger brother and talk to him about david. so i did. turns out he was not planning to be at the surgery because he didn''t know it was THAT serious. (or maybe that was his excuse, i don''t know)

after a good talk with him, he said he will definitely be there for david. when i saw david yesterday, he seemed to be in better spirit. my brother was over at the house with chillin'' with him the whole day and he was actually smiling. sam had a talk with him also and everything seems to be going well.

i finally felt relieved last night seeing david in a better mood. he knows he''s young and he knows he will definitely make it through.

so now all we have to do is wait. 16 more hours before the surgery. i''m feeling much better today than i did yesterday. thanks all for your kindness. it is helping me a great deal.

 

[Kaleigh]

Milly,
I'm glad that David is in better spirits and that his brother, and brother's will be there tomorrow. I will be praying non stop for great results. Get some rest as you have a very long day ahead of you. Sending you a huge virtual hug, what you are doing is great. We should all be so fortunate to have a caring person in our family like you. Love that you rallied support for David, that is so key in this kind of situation. I know the culture is one where there is an avoidance about talking about emotions and such. But keep doing what you're doing.

 

[cutes814]

Thanks Kaleigh.

I had about 1.5 hrs of sleep last night before getting up at 5am to get ready to take David to the hospital. When we got there, Sam dropped us off at the front of the hospital. There was me, David, both his parents, and his younger sister. Sam went to look for parking. After I helped David check in, the nurse took us up to the pre-op floor.

They only allowed one family member to go up with him and since neither parents speak English, I went with him. After they prepped him, I went back down to the waiting room and brought his mom up to see him. She was teary-eyed so I told her to try to hide it, since it''ll only make David more nervous and get him choked up too.

When I went back downstairs, Sam arrived. The second brother and his GF arrived about another 1/2 hour later. We all took turns going upstairs to talk to David before he went into the OR. We met all of his surgeons and doctors. Everything seemed to be going well. They told us the surgery would take anywhere from 10 to 14 hours and will call us on our cell every few hours to update us.

Fast forward 11 hours later and the surgery is finally done. Everything went well!!! We got to see him in the recovery room, but he was extremely drugged out and plus they were making us leave since visiting hours were long over, it was about 11:30pm. So we all went home and we''ll be back to see him again tomorrow first thing in the morning. Hopefully he''ll be awake and not constantly throwing up anymore.


I feel this HUGE weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I''m so happy that it all went so well. Now we just have to battle through 6 weeks of radiation therapy.
The surgeons wanted to keep his tumor tissue for study since they say that kind of cancer is very rare. To this day, I still can''t pronounce the name. It is so long! I can''t remember it. I''ll have to ask David what it is again, for the 5th time!


Okay, all I feel now is exhaustion. I am beat. I just wanted to come online and give you guys an update before I knock out. Thanks so much for all the prayers and thoughts you guys!

 

[monarch64]

Milly: my best wishes to you and your family dealing with cancer. Thank you for keeping us posted--it is very encouraging to hear when another person is dealing with something similar. Take care!

 

[snlee]

Milly, I''m glad to hear the surgery went well. I hope David has a speedy recovery.

Happy Thanksgiving!

 

[zhuzhu]

I am so glad to hear how well the surgery went. Please know my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

 

[Beacon]

I am so glad he got through this difficult surgery. That is fantastic news. Of course there is more to go and I am hoping for the very best for him and your whole family. It is very good that he had the support of family members at the hospital. You did wonderfully to be strong and help everyone get through.

 

[KimberlyH]

Milly,

My thoughts and prayers were, are and will continue to be with your family. So glad the surgery went well.

 

[KristyDarling]

Thank goodness! I hope your BIL has a speedy recovery and that everyone can rest easier this Thanksgiving holiday!

 

[Mara]

Milly I am glad to hear that things went well with the surgery, something to be Thankful for. Continued thoughts and best wishes for a speedy recovery and a positive future!

 

[canuk-gal]

HI:

Oh gosh, so sorry about this. Hope his recovery is quick and uncomplicated.

kind regards--Sharon

 

[strmrdr]

glad to hear things went well
prayers continue

 

[Kaleigh]

Date: 11/23/2006 5:36:42 PM
Author: Mara
Milly I am glad to hear that things went well with the surgery, something to be Thankful for. Continued thoughts and best wishes for a speedy recovery and a positive future!

Ditto!!! Hoping the days ahead go smoothly. My prayers continue...

 

[DiaDiva]

Milly, I got the day mixed up and thought the surgery was on Friday. Anyhow, I''m glad to hear the surgery went well and will pray for David''s recovery.

Hang in there.

 

[cutes814]

Hi all. I am so grateful for all your responses. It means so much to see those kind words. I also relayed all your posts to Sam and his family. They are at lost for words. They can''t believe how thoughtful and sweet you all are. It''s tough going through something like this, but the support you guys have shown made things much better.


Everyone was in a good mood tonight at Thanksgiving dinner, plus the food was delish! After we stuffed ourselves, we packed David some mashed potatoes (since that''s about all he can eat) and all of us headed to the hospital to see him again. My entire family came as well since they were over for dinner. He looks much better tonight. We brought my daughter Alyssa and when David saw her, he actually gave us a smile.

I am so thankful for David''s sucessful surgery. The journey is still tough up ahead, but the scary part is over, so it''s a good start.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone. And THANK YOU SO MUCH for all the prayers, thoughts, strength, advice, and love you have shown me. I don''t personally know you guys, but it feels so personal seeing your posts.

 

[diamondsrock]

Milly, I''m so glad the surgery went well! What a relief for you and your family. I hope his recovery is quick. Take care.

 

[KimberlyH]

Milly,

I am so glad your family was able to have some semblance of a normal holiday. I''m sure those mashed pototoes tasted better than David could have ever imagined and I''m so glad your daughter brought a smile to his face. Children are amazing healers.

My thoughts continue to be with you and yours.

 

[curlygirl]

Milly, I'm so happy to hear that the surgery went well and that David is doing ok. It must have been a truly joyous Thanksgiving for your family. I'm not surprised that cutie Alyssa was able to make David smile!! Wishing him a speedy recovery and continuing sending good thoughts to you and your family.

 

[Shay37]

Milly, I just saw this post and wanted to add my prayers and wishes for an absolute recovery for your BIL. I am happy to hear that the surgeons are pleased with the surgery. I will keep you and your in my prayers.

shay

 

[Kerbear560]

Milly, I just saw this post, and I wanted to say how happy I am to hear that the surgery went well. Best wishes for David''s speedy recovery!

 

[diamondfan]

Milly, I will hope the worst is over. And send prayers and thoughts for his continued steps toward a full recovery...he is brave and I am sure it will all be fine.