Potluck at wedding?

[swimmer]

A friend had a pie potluck. It was a morning wedding so they hired someone to come in and make omlettes and they provided muffins and a huge fruit bowl, coffees, teas, juice, but then about 12 of us out of 45 were asked to bring pies. The bride gave us general categories, mine was apple or pear, a friend got cherry or peach, others were chocolate creme, lemon meringue, key lime, chess, etc. There was an iPod for a DJ, I did the flowers from 1800flowers (daisies, hard to mess up), and they got married on the beach in a state park (almost free). We had the brunch in the Elks lodge right nearby, it was really lovely. A great view of the ocean. It cost about $400 total for the venue, and they rented the range thing for the guy to make the eggs from the Elks. The cost of the wedding was around 3,000 including her online dress.
By structuring the potluck it was really lovely, very memorable.

I''ve also been to weddings at pit bbq places where salads and desserts were brought, but the main protein was provided by the couple. People brought cornbread, jello salads, etc. It was excellent. Again, it was structured, guests who were happy to contribute were told what category to bring. That way it isn''t all one thing or the other.

Have fun luvthemstrawberries!

 

[luvthemstrawberries]

Thank you guys so much for the responses thus far! I don''t have time at the moment but I will come back later and comment some more! I just really appreciate the advice and votes of confidence! All very good points made. Thank you again! You ladies (and gents) are wonderful!

 

[Italiahaircolor]

Having a pot luck wedding and asking people to pay for things at the wedding are two totally different things...

First, I don''t think you need every guest to bring to a dish...you''d have 50 some-odd dishes if each couple brought something which would be way to much food in my opinion. But, asking your family or friends to each contribute a dish would be totally fine--you''d have a nice vareity but it wouldn''t be overwhelming either.

For instance, maybe you could send out little cards to family and close friends that say something along the lines of you''re having a potluck wedding and if they''d like to bring a dish inlue of a gift to please let you know. Have it completely organized, so people can pick to bring either an appetizer, salad, main course, dessert or sweet. This way, you''re not putting anyone on the spot asking face to face...but, you''ve also gotten the word out.

My husband and I went to a pot luck wedding a year or so back and I offered to bring a berry salad when I heard the bride was going potluck. I made it with raspberries, blueberries, strawberries, pomagrante seeds, blackberries and big purple grapes...it was delicious, but expensive because I had to make enough to feed a bunch of people...in all honesty, it did cut into my wedding present budget, but it was fun bringing an offering.

 

[Patchee]

Umm, not sure...

I too am having a very laid back wedding on a budget (who isn't on one) on my lawn at my house, 50 people however, I did get a caterer - nothing fancy who is doing BBQ chiken and ribs, burgers & dogs, meatballs, salads, fuits and cheeses. Also, I am renting tents, chairs, tables and am making the decor look as if it was in a glamorous hall but it's not.

So, yea pot luck is an ok way to go but is EVERYONE who is attending, all 100 people that close to you and your fiance that they would not mind brining the potatos to the event? Something you have to think about.

My 50 people ARE that close to me and I would not think of doing a pot luck... just my opinion and you CAN do it inexpensive! My caterer is costing $1800.00/50 people and that included EVERYTHING ... coffee, drinks, food, linens, tablewares (even though I am doing real silverware)... something to look in to.

Also something to think about is do YOU want to be manning the food supply all day? Worrying about it staying hot or cold, is there enough, is it too hot out, is the food spoling? You want to enjoy your day, not "man the whole show"

I know money is tough these days but look around, make calls you can find something other than pot luck for cheap!

 

[luvthemstrawberries]

elrohwen - Yeah I''ve looked at the chafing/warming dishes before. They just wouldn''t work for things like pizza. I guess nuggets could still be kept in them. I once tried really hard to find the warming serving stations with the sneeze guards and lights like you find in buffet restaurants, but found none for rent. I think I found one for purchase for hundreds of dollars (HA!). And good thought with the day-of planner - I never thought about that for food! I''ll keep that in mind.

deco - Yours sounds so fun!! BBQ, mac and cheese... I''m there!! Hehe. Maybe that''s something I should think about - make the sides myself and have someone set up everything and keep it warm. And pigs in a blanket, are you kidding me?? AWESOME! Hehe FI had never had them (??????) until the last Superbowl when I made them, haha and he LOVED them!! Thank you for the input also. That''s what I figured - that those in driving distance would be ok to bring something, just like with Christmas or whatever when we do them.

doodle - Haha I actually don''t have a venue yet, so if this is the avenue we like, I''ll find somewhere that doesn''t constrict this. But you do make a good point - most more formal "wedding-like" venues I''ve looked at do require you to use their chef or a caterer on their list.

swingirl - Yuck that sounds terrible with what happened. I do understand your point. But I wouldn''t have anything that our family doesn''t usually have. We have these multiple times a year, and no one has ever gotten sick from the food in my 24 years partaking of it. I wouldn''t consider this if it wasn''t something fun that we all enjoy. I''d probably only ask for the personal favorites we all tend to gravitate towards and are tried and true favorites.

 

[luvthemstrawberries]

LilyoftheValley - haha 100 is more than you think, huh? I never figured I even know 50 people, but when I sat down and just did my family alone, it added up to about 75. And in my family, everybody is close to everbody, so you can''t invite one person without the other! As mentioned before, and you make a good point about it, I don''t think I''d have 100 actually bringing dishes. Just a select few - in our family, a few of the big casseroles feed a LOT of us! Haha.

panda - Thank you for the input! Yeah I guess I do know the family/friends best. Most of them wouldn''t think twice about it, except probably "that''s strange for a wedding!" Haha but they tend to think me a little against the grain anyway.

We don''t know yet about the venue. I''d love outdoors, but it looks like our timeline is narrowing down to this November thru January, and I don''t exactly think my guests would appreciate being outdoors then, even in the South! Hehe it still gets cold here, unfortunately.

Freke - Thanks for the input! Yeah I agree to about not looking like other things were indulgences but we asked people to bring food. I''d only do this if we went really simple, fun, and unique.

mscushion - Thanks!

 

[luvthemstrawberries]

tlh - AWESOME!!! Hehe sure, I''ll let you know when we set a date (and find a place)!

Haven - Thanks for the input! Yeah I definitely like the way the bride worded their party - sort of like a party, where there happened to be a wedding also. And I so agree about the joy part - they all look like they''re so close and really, truly enjoying the time, instead of looking obligated to be there or (conversely) stealing the spotlight.

katamari - That''s definitely going to be the challenge - finding somewhere we like that is OK with not having a "licensed caterer." Thanks for your input - yeah I think some sort of coordination would be necessary. And I never thought about it being part of somebody''s gift - not that I care, but I just never looked at it that way! Interesting point. I can see how it would get expensive, but our familiy doesn''t do dishes that are that much - we''re talking corn casserole, broccoli casserole, pecan sandies cookies, homemade cornbread (baked AND fried - YUM!

), mashed potatoes, etc... all are fairly cheap and easy to make. The casseroles at family events usually feed about 10 people, maybe more or less, haha depending on how hungry folks are!

JulieN - Thanks for giving your opinion. I don''t want this to come across as me asking people to bring food, because we can''t afford it or are being cheap or something, though. For us, we don''t even call them potlucks - that''s just the universal name. Our family just calls it a covered dish meal or something, I don''t know. But it''s more of a sharing thing, where everybody is contributing and feeling like they play a part in it, so this would be the same idea. Us asking family to contribute (only if they wanted to, of course) and be a literal part of our day. I hope that sort of makes sense.

 

[luvthemstrawberries]

House Cat - Yeah I think it''d be easiest to provide the meat ourselves, and people bring sides and salads. Thank you for your opinion - I think it''d be fun too! I''d love to contribute to someone''s day like this. Plus I think family favorites would please my folks a lot more than food we can''t pronounce, hehe.

swimmer - Huh, a pie potluck? That sounds so good! And that wedding sounds absolutely awesome - exactly like something I''d love to have. And thank you SO much for both those stories - they all sound so wonderful! It''s great to hear that other people have done that, and that guests were happy to do so. I might query you later for more info, like how they asked people to bring things and such.

Italia - Yes I think it''d be easiest to only have a select group bringing food. Thank you so much for the suggestion too, that''s a great idea! And thanks for your experience too - very good to know! It''s nice to know people did enjoy bringing things.

Patchee - As mentioned above, I certainly wouldn''t have 100 people bringing a dish each. Most of that number is made up of family groups, and I wouldn''t ask all of them anyway. So it''s not as bad as it seems anyway. Haha and yes, honestly, most of that group is families that already bring food every single time our family gets together anyway, hehe. So I think I could count them as being close enough.

Your food sounds great!! That''s a good price too, for everything. I certainly would hire somebody to man the food - I wouldn''t want to be in charge of that the day of. Just please don''t think, as I said above, that I''m considering this so I can save money. I just think it''d be awesome to have all the family favorite foods there and have people contribute and feel like they really are a part of the day. That would make it so much more special to me than just feeding them. But if it turns out to seem like a chore, maybe my mom and I can just cook the casseroles and such the day before, and then have the person set it all up the day of. Eh, we''ll see.

 

[teapot]

As I mentioned in the other post, I think it depends on your friends and family. It sounds like your family would be cool with the idea, would your FI''s family feel the same? if so, I say keep it organized and low key and you will be fine. My friend used those cheap aluminum "chaffing dish" things from Sam''s club or walmart for her wedding and the food didn''t stay hot, but it wasn''t cold. To keep your pizza warm, maybe you could rent heating lamps?

My family always brings food to family events, but I know they will consider it weird if I ask them to do that for a wedding. Maybe because weddings are all day affairs in my family and they are busy. Nobody has time to cook the day off the wedding.

 

[House Cat]

LOL @ food we can''t pronounce!! I''m currently having this issue with all of the caterers I''m browsing!


One of my best friends is a wedding photographer and she did a wedding that was catered by In n'' out burger. It actually turned out really cute because all of the tables had red and white checked table cloths and the men wore khakis with white shirts, rolled up sleeves. Casual and fun, but the bride still wore a white wedding dress and the tables still had really pretty flowers on them.

I wish I could find her photos, to show you, but for some reason, they aren''t up!

 

[swingirl]

In these economic time I think people will start being creative with casual and cost-saving wedding receptions. Wedding costs have gotten so out of hand. When I was growing up the typical wedding reception included food, dancing, and wedding cake. Now there are programs, save-the-dates, elaborate floral arrangements, gifts for everyone who did anything, souvenirs for the guests, etc. It''s become more of the norm to go all out for this special day. I like the idea of BBQs and park settings as long as there is shade and comfortable seating. Oh, and good bathrooms, too!

 

[luvthemstrawberries]

Date: 3/12/2009 5:26:52 PM
Author: teapot
As I mentioned in the other post, I think it depends on your friends and family. It sounds like your family would be cool with the idea, would your FI''s family feel the same? if so, I say keep it organized and low key and you will be fine. My friend used those cheap aluminum ''chaffing dish'' things from Sam''s club or walmart for her wedding and the food didn''t stay hot, but it wasn''t cold. To keep your pizza warm, maybe you could rent heating lamps?

My family always brings food to family events, but I know they will consider it weird if I ask them to do that for a wedding. Maybe because weddings are all day affairs in my family and they are busy. Nobody has time to cook the day off the wedding.

Aha! Heating lamps were what I was trying to think of!

Yeah the little chafing dishes with tealights have never worked well for me. The little gas flames work much better.

I know FI''s family would be kind of funny about this. His mom and stepdad would be happy to help, but his sisters are weird about me anyway, so they probably wouldn''t even want to come, haha. I mean, they would, but I hardly even know them.

My family''s the same as yours - we always bring food to events, but never have to a wedding. This would be a first for my family. I think it would mostly go well. I just wouldn''t have people cooking the day of. They''d make the dishes beforehand and bring them and drop them off, then whoever''s in charge of setting up and keeping food warm would warm them up. Eh, we''ll see.

 

[luvthemstrawberries]

Date: 3/12/2009 6:03:02 PM
Author: House Cat
LOL @ food we can''t pronounce!! I''m currently having this issue with all of the caterers I''m browsing!


One of my best friends is a wedding photographer and she did a wedding that was catered by In n'' out burger. It actually turned out really cute because all of the tables had red and white checked table cloths and the men wore khakis with white shirts, rolled up sleeves. Casual and fun, but the bride still wore a white wedding dress and the tables still had really pretty flowers on them.

I wish I could find her photos, to show you, but for some reason, they aren''t up!

Hehe yeah, "Porcini Pappardelle & Goat Cheese Beignet" is like a foreign language to me. Maybe I''m a hick, but oh well.

That wedding sounds really cute and fun, and memorable! My only problem is going to be that our timeline is looking like it''s gonna be somewhere between November and January. I''d like to do something outdoors, but that probably won''t fly then. So cutesy decorations like that probably won''t fly then either.

We''ll have to see, I may have to get creative!

If you find those photos, please let me know!

 

[luvthemstrawberries]

Date: 3/12/2009 8:33:28 PM
Author: swingirl
In these economic time I think people will start being creative with casual and cost-saving wedding receptions. Wedding costs have gotten so out of hand. When I was growing up the typical wedding reception included food, dancing, and wedding cake. Now there are programs, save-the-dates, elaborate floral arrangements, gifts for everyone who did anything, souvenirs for the guests, etc. It''s become more of the norm to go all out for this special day. I like the idea of BBQs and park settings as long as there is shade and comfortable seating. Oh, and good bathrooms, too!

Whew, amen to that! Wedding costs have gotten so out of hand. It''s ridiculous. My mom was just saying how silly she thinks favors are, haha. Yeah, I just don''t see throwing $20,000 out on one day. If they money''s there, that''s fine. But I can''t ask my family to do that. And I DEFINITELY couldn''t do that myself. I be in debt till the end of time!

Hehe and ditto to the good bathrooms! My Mom would SOOOO agree!

 

[ice-queen]

As others have said, you know your family and friends best...and if this is something that everyone would enjoy, then I think it''s a fun, good idea.

A question...I''ve honestly never been to a potluck anything before. How does it work? Let''s say everyone brings a dish that feeds 10-15 people...doesn''t that mean that after after half the guests have gone through the line, there will be a ton of empty dishes? And the people towards the end of the line would seemingly only have the options of the least popular items? Just an honest question, because I''ve always wondered how these things actually worked.

 

[luvthemstrawberries]

Date: 3/13/2009 12:14:20 PM
Author: ice-queen
As others have said, you know your family and friends best...and if this is something that everyone would enjoy, then I think it''s a fun, good idea.

A question...I''ve honestly never been to a potluck anything before. How does it work? Let''s say everyone brings a dish that feeds 10-15 people...doesn''t that mean that after after half the guests have gone through the line, there will be a ton of empty dishes? And the people towards the end of the line would seemingly only have the options of the least popular items? Just an honest question, because I''ve always wondered how these things actually worked.

Good question! They''re really fun, and yummy! Typically, at least at my family''s, a family brings a dish or two of food - each enough to get maybe 10-15 servings out of. Some things, like the casseroles I make, will get about 15-20 servings out of a 13x9 casserole dish. So at Christmas, we have 6-7 families that show up. My parents host, so they provide the meats. Usually they''ll make another side dish or two. Then everybody else brings at least 1 dish, sometimes 2, sometimes a dessert too. Depends on if they''re generous and if they like to cook.

The process is the same as at a buffet. Everybody lines up. At ours, we usually send the grandparents and little kids (with a parent) through first. Usually there''s enough at something this size the everybody gets a chance at everything, and some dishes will get finished off after some people go through for seconds. Usually people are respectful enough the first time through to take small enough servings so that if everybody wanted some, there''d be enough. Larger events are kind of different. Our church used to have them once a month or so. Then, it was kind of a chance thing. The children usually were allowed to line up first. But the typical thing, for these and for big events like weddings or reunions, usually the guests of honor go through first, out of respect and so that they''ll have first pick. Usually the bride and groom and wedding party and families go first, and at our church lunches we''d send the pastor and his wife through first. Because when people bring casseroles and smaller dishes to big events, it happens just like you said - it''ll feed about 15-20 if you''re lucky, but when there are 100 people, you hope that those up front aren''t hogs, but it''s pretty inevitable that the really delicious things will be gone if you''re last in line.

So yes, in a nutshell, you''re right - in large groups, for a covered dish where individuals bring dishes, it is very likely that there will be many empty dishes. Even when only half the people have gone through. But the idea is that hopefully there is a range and wide variety of enough types of food, but also that maybe 3 people all brought corn, and 4 people brought some type of salad, etc. so that there is enough left halfway through the line for those people to still have a good range of food on their plate.

...Hehe, I can still remember the dozens of packs of bread rolls we''d have at the church lunches... and they always get finished no matter what. Southern folks love their bread! Gotta clean that plate with it!

 

[Lulie]

Date: 3/11/2009 11:42:53 PM
Author: JulieN
definitely not for me. I''d give up a dress budget and bouquet before asking people to bring food.

Yes, sorry to say. It would OK & very cool for imediate family, but for 100 is way too risky.

 

[luvthemstrawberries]

Date: 3/13/2009 2:49:20 PM
Author: Lulie

Date: 3/11/2009 11:42:53 PM
Author: JulieN
definitely not for me. I''d give up a dress budget and bouquet before asking people to bring food.

Yes, sorry to say. It would OK & very cool for imediate family, but for 100 is way too risky.

Hehe, well you guys must not have liked the wedding that Deco posted either, because that was for 175 people!

I swear though, at least 75 of that group is my FAMILY. People I see a lot - some once a year, some many times a year. I wouldn''t have all of them if you didn''t have to "invite one, invite all" in my family.

 

[Lulie]

Thanks for pointing that out luv, wow very nice!
I guess my worries would be a) food poisoning b) mother

 

[oobiecoo]

I like the idea if it fits your budget and venue! We have this public park here that has an old fish hatchery(whatever that is) building that people can rent for events and I know some churches will rent it if they don''t have their own building (its super cheap). It''s gorgeous and crafstman cottage-y... I can totally see a potluck happening at a place like that. I think the idea of picking just a few family members to bring food would maybe be best instead of asking EVERYONE. Just let them know to bring a side dish or bread or whatever. In some cultures, this is the norm.

 

[luvthemstrawberries]

Date: 3/13/2009 4:11:21 PM
Author: oobiecoo
I like the idea if it fits your budget and venue! We have this public park here that has an old fish hatchery(whatever that is) building that people can rent for events and I know some churches will rent it if they don''t have their own building (its super cheap). It''s gorgeous and crafstman cottage-y... I can totally see a potluck happening at a place like that. I think the idea of picking just a few family members to bring food would maybe be best instead of asking EVERYONE. Just let them know to bring a side dish or bread or whatever. In some cultures, this is the norm.

Thanks oobiecoo! Yeah I''d love to find a building like that around here, but I don''t think they exist, haha. Thanks for the input!

 

[packrat]

We did it at our wedding-mom, my gramma, an aunt, another aunts mom, and MIL took care of it. We got a hog from a friend and had bbq pork sandwiches and marinated pork sandwiches as the main dish. Got nothing but compliments on it, and we were really glad we did it. When we renew our vows, we''ll do the same thing!

 

[VRBeauty]

Date: 3/12/2009 8:33:28 PM
Author: swingirl
In these economic time I think people will start being creative with casual and cost-saving wedding receptions. Wedding costs have gotten so out of hand. When I was growing up the typical wedding reception included food, dancing, and wedding cake. Now there are programs, save-the-dates, elaborate floral arrangements, gifts for everyone who did anything, souvenirs for the guests, etc. It's become more of the norm to go all out for this special day. I like the idea of BBQs and park settings as long as there is shade and comfortable seating. Oh, and good bathrooms, too!

Ditto. I know I attended some potlucky wedding when I was a girl, or at least weddings where a good deal of the food was home-cooked by family members and close friends. People's expectations of weddings -- and by "people" I'm referring to both the bride and groom, and the guests -- weren't as high back then (or at least in the community I grew up in). Cake and punch, Aunt Lizzie's fried chicken and Miz Lola's potato salad... it was all good. A few things to keep in mind though: 1) most of these weddings were held in churches that were set up for storing large amounts of food (for all those church suppers and potlucks, don't ya know?) and 2) the gifts given to the wedding couple were also much more modest back then.

I know it's gauche to draw any link between the cost of the wedding and the size of the gift, but if you search past BBW threads you'll see it's not uncommon for people to try to "cover their plate" with their wedding gift. I'd most hope guests wouldn't think "modest reception = modest gift", but I also wouldn't bet against that happening.

Overall though I'm all for more realistic weddings, especially given today's economic uncertainties.

ETA the only case of food sickness I recall was a friend who was sick for her wedding, thanks to a shrimp salad served at her bridal shower a day or two earlier!

 

[Gypsy]

Didn't read the other responses. But... here are my thoughts.

I think it just depends on your age, your social circle, and the venue.

The thing about the wedding Deco posted was that it seemed like a family GTG type thing too. Like you just invite people and ask them to spread the word, and if they want to show up, great and they bring something. You don't expect only the invitee's to attend (like you invite mom and dad and not the kids, and then get ticked when the parents assume they cna bring the kids).

I think for me personally, I wouldn't have been able to pull it off. Weddings in my (and my parents, and John's parent's) social circle are ridiculous. The last 'budget' wedding my parents attended was 30K. Ours was just under that amount and by most sane people's definition we did not have a budget wedding at all.

I think if you are younger, just starting out, your family and friends are laid back, and you have it in a park or on the beach. Wonderful. Seriously. If I was invited to a wedding like this, especially now, I'd think it was great fun. I think for a second marriage, this is great too. Sure, I'd bring a dish and come along. I'd probably call up the bride and ask if there was a 'sign up sheet' so people don't all show up with the same thing. That's just how my mind works. I'd ask the family or the bride what they thought would be needed.

Potlucks always worry me because I'm afraid it will end up all potato salad, coleslaw, fruit salad, and pie. So I think you would have to provide some basics like soft drinks, plates, utensils, cups, a main dish, and some dessert. And I think some level of coordination, at least among close family members, is a good idea. Just to make sure there are enough basics for everyone. And be prepared for people not having any clue what to bring (men). So things like "Some loaves of french bread" or "ICE" or "butter" are a good idea to keep on a list so that when people call in a panic you have an affordable easy option.

If I wanted to do this... I would probably have eloped. Then had a pot luck, BBQ, picnic type reception. I think that would have made it more 'socially' acceptable to the crowds we run with, don't know why... but that's how it is.

 

[diamondseeker2006]

I''m going to weigh in here and say that unless the wedding is super-informal, such as at a park, potluck just would not be very accepted. Being in NC, you can probably get barbeque catered with a couple of side dishes for somewhere under $15 a head (buffet). We have been to one night wedding like that, and it was very nice. There would just be too many headaches with the potluck idea for over a hundred people..primarily, how people are going to get the food to the reception location prior to the wedding and just who would be people be to deal with all that food, not to mention not knowing what food you''d really end up with. I know at church, we have less than a hundred people and there is a LOT of food to deal with when we have a covered dish dinner. I just wouldn''t attempt it at a wedding. If I couldn''t afford the food, I''d have an afternoon wedding with very light food instead. I''m in NC, by the way, and I''m just not seeing potluck done at a wedding. I am with you on not overspending, though. We wouldn''t be doing any of these $50 a person dinners, either!

 

[luvthemstrawberries]

packrat - Sounds like yours was very relaxed and a lot of fun!

VRBeauty - Thanks for your input! That''s kind of the idea I was originally going for. But I do agree - there''d have to be plenty of commercial kitchen room for it, and I also agree that most times I''ve been to these things have been when we''re using the church fellowship hall kitchens. Also good point about the gift - I really hadn''t thought much about it, but I wonder if I would if I were a guest asked to bring some food.

 

[luvthemstrawberries]

Gypsy - Thanks for your input too! Yeah I agree about Deco''s post being a family thing - if this was done, it''d definitely be less of a formality, and none of the "only who is on the invitation" would really apply. Haha, unfortunately, I don''t think most of my family knows the difference anyway.

That''s good to hear you''d enjoy coming to something like this. My family and friends are definitely laid back. Much more so than ever wanting to seriously dress up, at least a good portion of them are. I agree about some sort of sign up sheet or something too if other people were actually involved in bringing food. I''m very organized too, and I certainly wouldn''t want 10 of the potato salad and no other vegetables, haha.

Haha, we are still very open to heading off somewhere by ourselves, then coming back and having a reception. Still a very viable option at the moment!!

 

[luvthemstrawberries]

Diamondseeker2006 - thanks for weighing in! Yeah I remembered you''re in NC too, so that''s very helpful to have your opinion! Sounds like our families are a lot alike, so you made some really good points I''m paying attention to.

You know, I mentioned the potluck idea to FI, and he''s kind of hesitant to it. So in my mind, I''ve come up with a much better idea - have our pizza/nuggets, then make any other sides myself. I''m really considering Smithfield''s Chicken and BBQ also - LOVE that stuff. So I think that may be a much more viable option for me and my mom to maybe take care of everything a day or so before, then just have someone hired to take care of setting everything up the day of. No cooking, just warming and keeping warm and set up.

It''s not that we can''t afford the food. I just have hard time, like you said, even paying $50 per head. I don''t consider myself a cheapo or anything, but I am frugal, and I and my family work really hard for what money we actually do have, and there''s never much to spare. I know my dad would gladly do whatever I ask him, but I just can''t do that. So I''m really trying hard to find a good mix between something meaningful, fun, and relaxed, while still unique and somewhat classy. Classy doesn''t have to be ornate, just not cheap quality. I''d rather have low quantity of things and good quality. So we''ll see what we end up doing. Ugh, it''s all a long way away anyway!

 

[Gypsy]

I would have killed for 50 dollars a head. Seriously.

But that's another story.

I am thinking that in NC you probably have some great places that do BBQ, and some amazing amature/starting out as pro caterers who have serious rigs for tailgaiting. I think that hiring someone to just churn out lots of brisket, sausage, and chicken all day plus some burgers and dogs for the kids. Then getting side dishes from Costco would be really cost effective (Potato Salad, Green Salad, Beans, Bread, Coleslaw). And you can always post at community colleges asking for waitstaff help to help serve stuff buffet style and pick up dirty dishes and re-fill drinks. Then I'd ask for potluck for desserts so Pies, fruit salads, cakes and for appetizers (so lots of dips and finger foods). Provide just beer (Keg) and wine and soft drinks and turn it into a real big BBQ party with a little potlucking help.

That's what would probably make me (as the organizer, not the guest) most comfortable. You could probably do that with fairly low cost and a lot of fun.

 

[Gypsy]

OH... I just had another idea.

How do you feel about being on TV?

I would apply to Mission Impossible on Food Network. And have them do your wedding and feed everyone on a serious budget. it would be SUPER fun, and laid back. You''d provide the drinks and alcohol. And the place.

I think that would ROCK. Seriously. Family Reunion/ Wedding/ BBQ cookout party... on a shoestring budget for 100 people. In a place with no cooking facilities. Just rent them a tailgating rig and tell them to go wild.