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Prayers needed for my godson...
- Thread starter Kaleigh
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HollyS
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Mara
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ugh, first the mom then the son. sounds like he is on a successful path to life, it would be so sad if his mother's troubles derailed him....along with just being sad in general. i hope they are both getting counseling and trying to work through the issues. i don't really understand how dark and deep the pain must be for one to really consider taking their life, nevermind try it...but it's a horrible thing for everyone around them as well. good luck and hang in there. you did absolutely nothing wrong so i hope you don't feel responsible for anything, you do what you can and that's the best there is, and i am sure you do a lot for them, lisa! hang in there.
Independent Gal
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sevens one
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Gypsy
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Oh my God. Kaleigh I''m so sorry. Wow. Just reading your post made me see stars, I can''t imagine living it without passing out. Wish there was something I could do to help. Crying is necessary at times, so let yourself grieve and know that we are here for you and for them. Hugs and prayers outgoing.
UCLABelle
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Pandora II
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I am so sorry for what you and your family are going through.
My ex-BF committed suicide 10 years ago, so I know just how traumatising a situation it can be.
Can I ask how old your godson is? Was it a 'serious' attempt or more of a 'cry for help'?
After P killed himself, I dated a guy for a while whose mother had shot herself when he was 13. I was the first person he had really talked about it to (he was 2
, and I think we kind of helped each other.
When anyone commits suicide, you go through an enormous range of emotions - above all anger, guilt and betrayal. When it is your own mother, you are faced not only with the guilt, but also with a huge sense of abandonment, sadness and anger that you are not worth enough for her to live for. Depending on the age, children will also feel both responsible and helpless. It is also a terrible shock for a child to suddenly see a parent as 'weak' and 'not in charge' - children need to be able to see their parents as strong and protective and this has been taken away from him even though she was , thank goodness, unsuccessful.
In the UK, suicides are not normally reported, because they tempt other people to do 'copycat' suicides (goodness knows why - but when P called me the night before he died, all he could talk about was the singer from INXS having hanged himself the week before.) So the suicide attempt of the mother, may have triggered that of her son in several different ways.
It's true that some antidepressants appear to cause more suicide attempts - there is some research that suggests that it is because very depressed people don't have the capability/energy to do it, when the antidepressents start working though, they are still depressed (most take a few weeks to have a proper effect) but have enough energy to do carry things through. A lot of people who commit suicide aren't actually 'depressed' - P definitely wasn't.
Your godson will need a lot of help to come to terms with his mother's actions. Trust becomes a huge problem for people affected by suicide: you are afraid to form emotional attachments with people, you are terrified of making someone else try to kill themselves - for me, I was incapable of leaving men even when I knew I had to because I was so scared of what they might do.
I hope both of them recover and go on to lead happier lives.
My ex-BF committed suicide 10 years ago, so I know just how traumatising a situation it can be.
Can I ask how old your godson is? Was it a 'serious' attempt or more of a 'cry for help'?
After P killed himself, I dated a guy for a while whose mother had shot herself when he was 13. I was the first person he had really talked about it to (he was 2
, and I think we kind of helped each other.When anyone commits suicide, you go through an enormous range of emotions - above all anger, guilt and betrayal. When it is your own mother, you are faced not only with the guilt, but also with a huge sense of abandonment, sadness and anger that you are not worth enough for her to live for. Depending on the age, children will also feel both responsible and helpless. It is also a terrible shock for a child to suddenly see a parent as 'weak' and 'not in charge' - children need to be able to see their parents as strong and protective and this has been taken away from him even though she was , thank goodness, unsuccessful.
In the UK, suicides are not normally reported, because they tempt other people to do 'copycat' suicides (goodness knows why - but when P called me the night before he died, all he could talk about was the singer from INXS having hanged himself the week before.) So the suicide attempt of the mother, may have triggered that of her son in several different ways.
It's true that some antidepressants appear to cause more suicide attempts - there is some research that suggests that it is because very depressed people don't have the capability/energy to do it, when the antidepressents start working though, they are still depressed (most take a few weeks to have a proper effect) but have enough energy to do carry things through. A lot of people who commit suicide aren't actually 'depressed' - P definitely wasn't.
Your godson will need a lot of help to come to terms with his mother's actions. Trust becomes a huge problem for people affected by suicide: you are afraid to form emotional attachments with people, you are terrified of making someone else try to kill themselves - for me, I was incapable of leaving men even when I knew I had to because I was so scared of what they might do.
I hope both of them recover and go on to lead happier lives.
Kaleigh
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Thanks everyone. This is a very hard situation. On so many levels. No simple answers, but care is being given on the highest level. I usually see things clearly, like ok you do this and this, problem solved. But not this.... His dad my friend''s EX is with him now. I have all the hope for him, and for my friend, but it''s a long road ahead. Waiting to see if I will be going with her to Pittsburgh to see him. We are on the same page, for a plan of care. She''s a nurse, which is so ironic. Anyway, wanted to check in. It''s so damn hard, but we''ll get through this.
Lisa
I am lucky to have amazing friends. I have a huge support system in place. Their words of advice have been helping me.
And all of you on PS, have been wonderful. I have read each of your responses. So thanks.
I am lucky to have amazing friends. I have a huge support system in place. Their words of advice have been helping me.
And all of you on PS, have been wonderful. I have read each of your responses. So thanks.
rainbowtrout
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Linda W
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In the world of mental health there is no black and white its all a shade of gray and for many people another birthday is a real hard fought victory.Date: 12/4/2007 1:56:17 PM
Author: Kaleigh
Thanks everyone. This is a very hard situation. On so many levels. No simple answers, but care is being given on the highest level. I usually see things clearly, like ok you do this and this, problem solved. But not this.... His dad my friend''s EX is with him now. I have all the hope for him, and for my friend, but it''s a long road ahead. Waiting to see if I will be going with her to Pittsburgh to see him. We are on the same page, for a plan of care. She''s a nurse, which is so ironic. Anyway, wanted to check in. It''s so damn hard, but we''ll get through this.Lisa
I am lucky to have amazing friends. I have a huge support system in place. Their words of advice have been helping me.
And all of you on PS, have been wonderful. I have read each of your responses. So thanks.
Day by day at first then month by month but the guard can never come down.
They both need the best help that can be found its a sad fact that the field is filled with a bunch of quacks who are over their head dealing with a serious illness.
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Lisa, my heart is with you. I agree with Storm that it is hard to get really expert care, but I will be praying that your friend and her son get it. Since you said that your friend''s depression is situational, I hope that she will be able to achieve emotional balance quickly. God willing, she, also will then be able to help her son. I hope that all the support systems available to them and to you remain firmly in place. I know how hard it is to go through this with a child.
Love,
Deb
Love,
Deb
Pandora II
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Kaleigh
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I am so very sorry Michelle. Such a terrible thing you''ve had to endure, so my heart goes out to you.Date: 12/5/2007 12:35:38 AM
Author: SanDiegoLady
My prayers are for those who are left behind. She had a little boy, who I will never know.. Bunny lived a hard fast life, filled with sadness and abuse. So much was her undoing.
Because my Mom passed away when I was just eight, I know they are together so have comfort in that. She didn''t have the support system she needed, my sister.. she needed direction but didn''t know where to go.
Kaleigh I pray for your Godson and his Mom strength to live wonderful lives.. and strength for you and your family too. The best thing you can possibly do is just love and remain steadfast in support. I wish I could simply give you a hug.. this is really the best I can do.. but.. remember to keep your chin up. We all have our arms around you.
I talked to my godson''s dad. He called with an update. He''s doing well considering. My best friend is leaving tomorrow to be with her son. Lots of healing needs to take place. From what his Dad told me this hospital is top notch so he''s getting excellent care. But the real work happens once he comes home. I''m keeping the faith, and feel in the end there will be light. Yes it will be a roller coaster, I''m not naive. I appreciate all the support from the caring PS''ers. Your arms around me is very heart warming. My chin is up!!! Promise!!!
risingsun
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Kaleigh
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My godson is doing as well .... He is recieving excellent care in a special psyche unit for teenagers, he's 18. He wants the help, and is being a good patient. Of course he is looking forward to coming home, but that won't happen for a while. His Mom is on her way to be with him, she will work along with the docs for a few days, and the healing process shall get into full swing. I would imagine they will meet with father, mother and my godson. I pray that happens anyway. I'm waiting to hear more from his Mom once she gets there and is able to see him. Physically he's ok. No damage from the overdose so far...
Thanks Layla.
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