PS Fairy Dust Please for my Mom.

[Gypsy]

Monnie, I have no IDEA (except that it was late and I was tired) how I missed that wonderful post of yours about being trust into a parent role to my mom. But I missed it. You''re absolutely right, I haven''t played the role of the adult with my mother. I went to the east coast when I was twenty two, and returned when I was thirty one. My mother and I had a problematic relationship a lot of that time. I was trying to assert myself as an adult and she was trying very hard to keep hold of her baby. It''s only been the past couple of years that we''ve been really connecting again, and I felt ''safe'' enough to return to CA and be close to her. And it didn''t occur to me, but you are right. Everytime I do something I think of all my mother has done for me when I''ve been ill, she''s been my best advocate and most concerned and considerate support, and I''ve been trying my best to emulate her example, and not let her down. Thank you most especially for : "
Anything you need that I could possibly offer, you got it." Your insight and caring have been amazing honey, they are bandages and hugs, and light. You''ve already given so much. Thank you

I didn''t even realize that until I read your post and Ellen''s, that I was trying to live up to a standard I had in my head, and that part of the stress is because I have become the parent... thank you both for pointing it out to me. I guess I''ve been putting a lot of pressure on myself to meet the standard of care my mom''s given me. And maybe it''s time to acknowledge that I AM doing the best that I can, and that I have been there for her, so that the feeling in the pit of my stomach that I everything I''m doing is STILL not good enough can recede. Deep breath. I don''t know what I would have done without you guys.

And thank you everyone for understanding my anger... it makes me feel less guilty about it. And able to see that maybe the way I''m reacting is natural. And that the anger will go away, and until it does, I shouldn''t beat myself up about it, but maybe just continue to control it.

Ellen thank you for your wise words that just added to Monnie''s wonderful insight: this really rang a bell with me: "Our "world" gets turned upside down. It''s terribly stressful and draining. You love them, you want only the best, but yet you can be constantly challenged between them taking turns for the worse (or even worse, up and down), and dealing with doctors who really should have gone into some other position. (not ALL doctors)." It''s so true. I haven''t even given myself permission to go anywhere, even to a movie, because it felt wrong... but everything feels wrong. So maybe with my aunt taking care of her tomorrow, I can give myself permission to embrace the chaos inside me, and do something about it... other than chug a halfd a bottle of wine one night. LOL.

Harleigh honey, you are a jewel. Thank you for thinking I''m a whining drama queen. It helps to know that, a lot. Thank you so much for your prayers, hugs and well wishes sweetie. ((HUGS)).

Storm... I''ve got my chin up now and I have to thank you for letting me know that this is normal, and that I''m handling it alright. I lose perpective, and you, all of you, help me regain it daily. Thank you again for being such a loyal friend.

Skippy, Thank you for checking in, checking up, and generally for being the wonderful person you are. She does seem to be improving. She was communicating to the nurses and seems to have started trusting that they are looking out for her, she waves at them. And has stopped the kicking. Her voice is hoarse, but her writing is better. I will know more about her metal state when I go to visit tonight, after the 8:00 shift change. I''ll post an update tommorow, with the hope that she''s a more lucid and less terrified. It breaks my heart to see her so scared. And I feel helpless. She''s SO strong, and seeing her like this, well, it''s frightening... but I''m coming to terms with it. She''s always been larger than life in my mind, with an indominable will. I think it''s time, as an adult, that I accept that she''s human, and that she''s more like me than I thought.

Thank you Lorelei... I love your AV''s, they always make me smile. ((HUGS))

Jas honey... so succinct. I haven''t been allowing myself to do any of those things. But, I promise to give myself more leeway. And I will take in a movie or other out of the house, not watching the phone, purely recreational activity tomorrow. Jas''s orders.

Kaleigh, thank you. You are so strong and so wise, and it''s a relief to me everytime I read your posts. John has been wonderful. And he told me last night to thank you ALL for all the compliments to him. I forgot (tired, sorry), but please know that we both read this thread, and you comments and they really help both of us so much.

Thank you everyone, lurkers and posters all.

 

[Skippy123]

Date: 9/28/2007 12:40:59 PM
Author: Gypsy

Skippy, Thank you for checking in, checking up, and generally for being the wonderful person you are. She does seem to be improving. She was communicating to the nurses and seems to have started trusting that they are looking out for her, she waves at them. And has stopped the kicking. Her voice is hoarse, but her writing is better. I will know more about her metal state when I go to visit tonight, after the 8:00 shift change. I''ll post an update tommorow, with the hope that she''s a more lucid and less terrified. It breaks my heart to see her so scared. And I feel helpless. She''s SO strong, and seeing her like this, well, it''s frightening... but I''m coming to terms with it. She''s always been larger than life in my mind, with an indominable will. I think it''s time, as an adult, that I accept that she''s human, and that she''s more like me than I thought.

Gypsy, sweetie; I don''t know if this will help but my mom was in the hospital 2 months and had to have a dangerous operation done. Kind of the same sort of doctor too. I think it is the drugs they use that make a person''s mental state that way. Let me tell you my mom is 110% better. I cried soooo much too; I also prayed hard and knew that good thoughts/prayers from others were helping. Those things kept me strong; it is super scary because our moms took care of us and now we are taking care of them so you feel more helpless. So honey, remember she will be better but it takes awhile and I am glad you visit her. It use to break my heart to see people at the hospital w/no one to visit; you are such a good daughter with a huge heart. Thanks for updating us; I look for your posts to make sure there are baby steps of improvement. I am w/Monnie; I wish I could sit w/you and her during this time but I can''t so I am sending strong positive thoughts/prayers. Hugs sweetie!

 

[KimberlyH]

So redundant to continue to say that I''m thinking of you and your family, but I am. When my husband''s mom was in the hospital, on multiple occasions before she died, and placed on anti-phsychotics (she was an extremely difficult patient w/ Alheimer''s) she always went a bit crazy on us: hitting, screaming, claiming we were trying to steal her money, that people were trying to hurt her, etc. It is, in my limited experience, quite normal what your mom was doing. It sounds like she''s improving now, though, and waving and sitting in chairs is just so great...baby steps, baby steps. You aren''t whiny, nor are you a drama queen, you''re a human being who is hurting and scared....no need to apologize for that.

 

[Gypsy]

Skippy and Kim, THANK YOU! I''m off the hospital.

 

[monarch64]

Layla, you know, the more I read about you and your experiences in this whole saga I''m thinking that we share a lot of similarities in the way we''ve both dealt with these things (your mother''s surgeries and my father''s surgeries). When you talked about feeling like you were trying to live up to the high standard of care your mother had established with your upbringing, it totally reminded me of my own feelings of inadequacy in that department...I''ve always looked up to my mother and father and thought they were such great parents because they just did everything possible for me and my brother, absolutely above and beyond, imo. So when I kind of had to take over the "adult" role when my dad was going through all his trauma and my mom was a total basket case, I remember feeling like "am I doing this well enough? Can I handle this?" I was constantly second-guessing myself and that caused me a great deal of stress, because I wanted to do everything RIGHT, and do for them like they''d done for me all the years I was growing up and beyond... I don''t think I ever did come to a point when I stopped beating myself up about not being there with them enough, or doing enough to take care of both of them, or being dad''s best advocate, or whatever. So through your thread I''m actually gaining some insight as to why I felt that way. It''s not like I started reading your thread and had that fabulous post at the ready last night when I wrote it, it actually just occurred to me that maybe this is why we feel the way we do about the whole issue. So I''m glad that you''ve been sharing so openly here, and obviously I''m glad I could offer some of my own insight...but just know that I''m "growing" with you in heart and spirit and I think that is great. Thank you for keeping the thread current, not only do we all get to follow what''s going on and root for your mom''s health and you and all of your family, but we (at least me, hee hee) get to apply some of this to our own lives and thought processes and have some realizations.

Hope your mother is peaceful tonight and that your visit goes as well as can be expected...I look forward to the next update. Take care, sleep well.

 

[Ellen]

Date: 9/28/2007 12:40:59 PM
Author: Gypsy


Ellen thank you for your wise words that just added to Monnie''s wonderful insight: this really rang a bell with me: ''Our ''world'' gets turned upside down. It''s terribly stressful and draining. You love them, you want only the best, but yet you can be constantly challenged between them taking turns for the worse (or even worse, up and down), and dealing with doctors who really should have gone into some other position. (not ALL doctors).'' It''s so true. I haven''t even given myself permission to go anywhere, even to a movie, because it felt wrong... but everything feels wrong. So maybe with my aunt taking care of her tomorrow, I can give myself permission to embrace the chaos inside me, and do something about it... other than chug a halfd a bottle of wine one night. LOL.

I know. But the more you go without doing for yourself, the worse it gets, because it is so stressful, and really, depressing. If that''s all you surround yourself with, it just drags you down. And when you get like that, it''s harder to think clearly and make decisions.

That''s why I''ve been saying, take breaks. Do something fun, or at least try. I know the feeling of feeling guilty doing that, but I finally realized with my dad''s situation, that I HAD to get away, to recharge and get a fresh perspective. That only made me better in really seeing things, and making decisions. And that''s when I stopped feeling quite so guilty. It never fully went away, but I think that''s to be expected. So, go do something, anything.

I look forward to your report today, and I''m hoping it''s all good news Gyps.

 

[Gypsy]

I''ve got good news, and some drama. LOL.

Good news is the my mom looks much better, was very lucid-- if still a little confused about somethings, but is starting to talk again, and we could understand her. Her face mask is off and just has oxygen running to her nostrils. She was happy to see us. She''s very weak, and very tired and complaning out her halo

and it was wonderful. Gonna spend Sunday with her.

Only bad news is that her lungs aren''t improving and her gag reflex is still very weak. But... MUCH progress has been made.

Drama. John, my love, has a VERY VERY long fuse. He doesn''t get engraged or super angry easily, and is VERY patient, understand, and unflaggingly nice to my family. Well, in the last week my aunt has managed to COMPLETELY tick him off. Last night was the straw that broke a very patient camel''s back. I''m not getting into all the details, but she really crossed a LOT of ine she shouldn''t have with her entitlement/ transportation issues and topped it all off by saying that she certain is more stressed and upset than *I* am, and that she doesn''t understand why everyone isn''t catering to her. It''s all about her, times 20. And John... well, lost it. She had thrown a fit and run away before we arrived at the hospital, bad mouting me to the staff. And I really really cannot fathom ''talking'' to her... Screaming at her, tearing her to shreds verbally, completly ruining and cutting off my relationship with her, yes. I can easily imagine all of that. But John... since she was ranting and complaining to HIM, feels that she has opened the door for a ''conversation with him,'' regardless of the fact with my ''core'' family (step dad married in, isn''t core-- I have a weird family) I always handle things, and he just supports me. He''s REALLLY REALLY ANGRY, and did NOT want to talk to her, because he doesn''t believe speaking to people while you are enranged is a good thing, so he''s waiting until tomorrow, when he is calmer to take her aside and have a ''talk'' with her.

She''s in for a big surprise. John and I have had ''talks,'' he''s logical, infuriatingly calm and polite and like a steamroller in action. I''m vengefully hoping that it''s as frustrating with her to ''talk to him'' as it is for ''me.'' Because he has a way of pointing out what an idiot you are being, while giving you no room to attack him or throw hystericals. It''s very frustrating. LOL.

So that''s the drama. I''m avoiding hte family. Called Frank, told him I''m spending he day with my mom tomorrow and don''t want anyone else there. And we''re going a movie and doing to clothes shopping today, and having a nice dinner out.

Monnie, I''m glad that relating your exeriences and your reflections on the thread has helped you find some elightenment and resolution. We all need that... and as much as you''ve helped me, I''m not surprised that in your wisdom, you''ve helped youself.

Ellen-- you absolutely right, I''m happy to hear that you gave yourself that permission too, and that when you did, the guilt was still there (cause it is for me) but that life was better overall, allowing you to function better in general. I''m going to take a page from the Book of Ellen today and listen to my PS family''s wisdom.

Thank you all for everything. My cat is now demanding his momma, and well... I''m going to go enjoy my time with him. ((HUGS)). And again, THANK YOU ALL.

 

[KimberlyH]

Good news about your mom, crazy that your aunt feels so entitled...good for John for taking a step back and waiting until he''s calm to deal with her. Enjoy your day off, and your day with her, both will be good for you.

 

[isaku5]

I''m relieved and happy that your mom is much more lucid and calm,

and now that she''s sitting up more, her cough and gag reflexes should improve as well

Your "patient camel", and our hero John

is absolutely right in saving his "talk" for when the anger is at bay. According to your description of him, he will be a lethal opponent, and definitely put your aunt in her place.

Judge Judy, I''m not, but I have been known to ask for 20 minutes alone with a "problem" relative, and voila, the issue is resolved without name- calling, raised voice, or angry tone.

The key, as I''m sure John knows, is remaining frighteningly calm and strightforward.

 

[strmrdr]

Glad to hear your mom is doing better!!!!

Sorry to hear about your aunt......
seems like every family has one like that....


prayers continue

 

[iheartscience]

I''m so glad your mom continues to improve! And I''m so sorry about your family causing you drama *again*. (I bet you''d like to be a fly on the wall when John gives your aunt what for-it sounds like he''s the perfect person to do just that!) I hope everything continues to improve.

 

[wolftress]

Awww, that''s great news! I''m glad your mom''s lucid and communicating again. So sorry about the family dramas though... but they''re pretty inevitable in times of stress. I laughed when I read the bit about ''talks'' with John. Hopefully that will enlighten your aunt a little

Take care of yourself hon, and enjoy your time with your mom and your darling cat.

 

[AGBF]

Everything seems to be going very well, given the situation! I am glad you will be able to spend today with your mother and that she is herself-i.e. not psychotic and not wearing an oxygen mask! She is making wonderful progress and I hope that her lungs will come along just as everything else has. It has taken an eternity, of course, but she is on the road to recovery!

And I agree with everyone else that John is great! I hope you have a peaceful, pleasant Sunday with your mother, Layla.

Deb

 

[Harleigh]

Hi Layla,

Hooray for your mom, and yay for you to have someone like John in your life! He is such a strong individual and I''m so glad for the support he gives you. I really hope Frank respects your wishes and stays away when you go to visit...and we''re all rooting for John to tell the wicked aunt off! Can''t wait to hear how that goes! Hang in there! Sending more hugs your way!

 

[monarch64]

Layla, glad things are continuing in a positive direction for your mother! Sorry to hear that your aunt is causing such drama...sounds like John will soon line her out and hopefully that will be the end of her less than desirable behavior. If anything dramatic with her should continue, I would suggest letting the hospital staff on your mom''s floor know that your aunt is simply not welcome there until your mom is in better condition. There''s no law that says family members HAVE to be allowed to see patients, especially when said family member is highly upsetting to the patient. IMO, John should tell your aunt to suck on THAT one.

In my dad''s case, there were a few relatives who came to see him and tried to preach over his bedside, proclaiming that if he didn''t confess all his demons he would be damned to hell if he died. It was highly upsetting to him, and although it was not an unusual circumstance to have happen based on the fact that his family''s religion just does that sort of thing, it sucked nonetheless and got him into a very excited and volatile state that was detrimental to his vitals. That was the point when my mother said "no more," and did not allow anyone except immediate family in to see him until he was released. So...there you go...s&it happens with relatives and sometimes you or someone like John just has to put their foot down and be done with it for the sake of the ill patient, and deal with the repurcussions at a later date. Easier said than done, of course, but you have to think of your mother here and what is best for her health and well being (as you are already doing.)

Again, I''m so happy to read that she''s doing better...you''re in my thoughts each day and more than once. Take care.

 

[Lorelei]

Glad my av''s make you smile Gypsy, so in your honour, I am going to bring back my fat butt kicking karate rodent for the time being - just for you, as I know how much you love him!

 

[strmrdr]

checking in
Prayers continue.

 

[Kaleigh]

Hope all is well...

 

[snlee]

Gypsy, glad your mom is doing better and I hope she continues to make improvements. Hugs.

 

[Gypsy]

I''m so sorry to leave you all hanging. On Sunday we went to the hospital, stayed until seven, got home at 8:30 was asleep at 8:35, no joke. Yesterday I was too busy at work to do justice to the post, and I thought I''d post after dinner. Fell asleep RIGHT after dinner, John nudged me to bed at 8:00. Was in meetings this morning and afternoon. But I can post NOW!

Sunday: Went to the hospital earlier than planned-- at 2:00 instead of 3:00 (Uncle had called on Saturday night saying that his wife was going to show my aunt (THE aunt) how to take Bart into the city to visit my mom, and would it be okay if we went either in the morning or the afternoon, we told him we''d be there at 3:00) in order to corner aunt for John. Mom was SO MUCH BETTER!!!! Talking (though still difficult to understand and hoarse… but much better) and REALLY ALERT, back to herself. I was SO INCREDIBLY HAPPY. John took aunt aside to talk to her, and it seems to have worked… although he mentioned it was a LOT like talking to my grandmother… logic had little to no effect. We stayed with Mom till 7:00. I TALKED TO HER, really talked to her about most (didn''t mention all the drama with the family) of what had been going on. She doesn''t remember anything but her nightmares and so forth from the last few weeks… although oddly enough she remembers my singing to her. I cried with relief at her state, and she cried and we hugged (we much as we could with her halo on) it was really REALLY FABULOUS. She really thin (skin and bones) and her body is weak but she, herself, is STRONG and very determined to get well ASAP. I think that''s why I''ve been so tired… crisis is largely over!!! Mom even stood up and sat down a few times as exercise!!!

Monday I did not go up, Frank did. Mom failed her swallow test so is not allowed any food or water yet, but lungs showed signs of improvement, and she did more standing and sitting!! YAY!

Today, I haven''t been able to talk to the nurse BUT… they are seriously talking about moving her from ICU!!!! They were washing her hair (hard to do with the bolts), and talking hygenic care of her both times I called. There is a rumor (not confirmed, just talked to my aunt on the phone, I will wait to see what the doctor says tonight) that her chest X-ray is clear and she''s off the antiboitics!!!

Three weeks tomorrow she''ll have gone in for surgery!! And I''m praying that she''ll be out of ICU tomorrow. I''m visiting tomorrow.

So that''s the update… not let me go back and respond to your wonderful posts.

 

[strmrdr]

yah!!!!
kicken news!!!!
Thanks for the update! and get caught up on your sleep some more!

 

[Gypsy]

Kimberly-- pretty fall leaves! Yes, John is wise like that. He rarely lets temper get the best of him, bless him. And he did talk to her, thank God! I did enjoy Saturday, we went shopping, and I bought a cut outfit I''m wearing today actually, and Sunday was great. I was so happy and relieved that my mom was back. I missed her so much. ((HUGS)) and thank you so much for all your (many wonderful) posts and well wishes!

Isabel… LOL. Judge Judy huh? I am not as good as I would like at keeping my temper in my personal life (unline you and John, will continue to work on it "frighteningly calm" huh? I''ll have to remember that) so I am just grateful for his ability to do so, and his willingness to lend a hand when I''m too frazzled to do anything but scream. He is a very patient soul. He said to my aunt, "You''ve only been here a week, and your are stressed out and scared and tired. Can you imagine how Layla feels, being here this whole time?" She was silent for a moment after that and seemed reflective … that''s about all you can ask for with her and well, my grandma. They are two of a kind. And while I have patience for my grandma, I have not been as patient with his aunt of mine-- and that is something I need to work on, because as John pointed out to ME… she''s only here for a few weeks a year. So, mea culpa too.

Storm, THANK YOU! And yes, it does seem that every family as one (or a few) that are just… well, different. *shakes head*

Thing2-- I was thinking exactly that (Oh to be a fly on that wall) when he walked down the hall with her!!! Thank you honey for your support and caring!

Hi Wolftress… glad to make you laugh. John''s talks can be well, ''frighteningly'' effective as he is (don''t tell him I said so) normally right about things when he reaches the point when a ''talk'' is warranted. It''s a double edged sword for me at times, lol. I am taking care, the extra sleep really has helped, and I''m feeling much more… level. I went to lunch today and enjoyed reading my book at the outdoor table, and really just felt much lighter. It''s a nice feeling. I will take care of mom too. Thank you! ((HUGS))

Thank you Deb… your words have so far proved prophetic. She is doing so much better! She was even griping about the discomfort of the halo and joking around about various things with John and really just herself! John is great, and I had a wonderful Sunday, thank you so much for your continued well wishes and support!

Hi Harleigh… thanks for rooting for us. Your enthusiasm and energy are catching, even with typed words on a page. I am very blessed to have John at my back, and by my side. He really is wonderful. Things are much improved, and we are ALL, including John, feeling much better now. Thank you for the hugs and wonderful positive energy honey, I really appreciate it.
Monnie-- isn''t it surprising how close you can feel to someone you''ve never met? I can''t say how much your post have meant to me. I''m SO shocked by this: "In my dad''s case, there were a few relatives who came to see him and tried to preach over his bedside, proclaiming that if he didn''t confess all his demons he would be damned to hell if he died." It sounds positively medevial and I cannot imagine a sane person doing something like that over someone''s sickbed. Good for your mom in routing them out and keeping your dad''s suppportive relatives close. And I''m sorry that my thread is bring back so many difficult memories and digging up so many emotions for you. I really am. Huge BIG HUGS honey, I''m sorry I we hadn''t ''met'' and that I could not be there for you with your dad, as you''ve been here for me with my mom. You are in my thoughts as well. Take much care of yourself.

YAY LORELEI!! I love that rodent!! I want to set him as my desktop whenever you post him and all I get all dozens of rodent tiles that make my eyes cross. You made me smile BIG! Thank you so much for the thoughtfulness, it is very much appreicated, and very touching!

Kaleigh, Storm and Snlee-- thank you for the check ins, and PLEASE accept my sincere apologies for not post an update sooner. I was on here for a little while yesterday (had a bit of a bad moment regarding insurance coverage for my ring) and just… went home and passed out. It was not intentional at all. Thank you so much for your thoughtfulness your support, and for checking in to let me know that you care, and that you are here for me, for John and for my mom.

I am just so thankful and so amazed by you, and everyone who as posted, or lurked. ((HUGS)) and THANK YOU for getting me through what was hopefully the worst of all of this. With luck, fairy dust, and prayers we''ve made it through a really bad time, and looking back I know that without all of your support, I would have gone nuts. Seriously nuts, and not been ablet o function at work or at home the way I did. ((HUGS)) and countless thank yous coming your way.

 

[Kaleigh]

Yay, such great news Gypsy!! So glad your Mom is doing well. Got me all welled up when you said she remembered you singing to her. So sweet and precious. Thanks for the update!!!

 

[Fly Girl]

Awesome! Thanks for the report, Gypsy, and so glad to hear that your mom is on the mend. A long ways to go, I''m sure, but hopefully no more major crises like that one. Prayers will be continuing for you, her, John and the rest of your family.

 

[snlee]

Yay! That''s great news! So glad your mom is doing better and will be out of the ICU soon! Don''t worry about not posting sooner and thank you for the update!

 

[onedrop]

Gypsy: I have been lurking on this thread and checking in regularly for updates, although this is my first time posting. But know that you and your Mom and the rest of the family have been in my thoughts and prayers throughout this entire ordeal. I am SO elated to read about all of the good news regarding the progress your Mom has made. She seems to be a real fighter. I am wishing for a speedy recovery from here on out. And remember to take care of yourself as well!!!

 

[Shay37]

Layla, I am so thrilled that things are looking up for your family. I am also happy to hear that John is such a wonderful voice of reason. He defused the situation with what he did which is so needed during sickness. Regular times you get to blow up, not during sickness. It just seems to tie that memory too much to that. You are such a big person to admit that you carry a tiny fault in that for not being more patient. John helped you both avoid a rift, and for that I am so happy.

Just thought I''d let you know that the prayers continue for you and yours.

shay

 

[isaku5]

Great news, Layla

. Your mom is beyond the baby step phase now; I hope she''s out of ICU as soon as possible.

It was so touching to hear that your mom remembered you singing to her

Our hero John

came through again (really no surprise) with the direct approach for your aunt

. I hope she has a long memory so that he doesn''t have to do "an encore"

Layla, it''s definitely time for you to relax some more. Everything''s as much under control as you make it right now. I''m looking forward to hearing lots of stories about you resting and/or having a relaxingly luxurious good time.

 

[diamondseeker2006]

So glad to hear your mom is better, Gypsy! John sounds like a great guy! Maybe you should think about marrying him!

 

[Harleigh]

Oh, Layla! Hooray for your mom! I am so happy to hear that she is doing so much better, hun, and I know what a relief that is off of your shoulders. I was so glad to come home from work tonight and see your posts with the good news. I am certain that your need for rest is from the relief you are finally feeling...your body has been so strong for you and now knows that it can relax a bit more and in time it will catch up and heal itself and I''m sure you''ll be back to rights in no time.

I will continue praying and keep my fingers crossed that your mom comes out of ICU tomorrow. Again, I''m so sorry you are having to deal with all this, but you have all of us here who will share this with you, and you of course have John, and bless his heart for being so strong for you through this. (Personally, though, I would''ve LOVED to have been a fly on the wall when he had his little "chat" with THE aunt!)

Gosh, I''m wicked, but I thought it might give you a chuckle!

I hope tomorrow is a wonderful day, and the one after that even better. Sending smiles and hugs your way, my friend!