PS Mommy Thread-Newborn to 12 months!

[mayerling]

Amc, you're not alone in terms of pumping on the highway. I've been doing that for the past two days.

Pancake, glad you're having fun in Bali.

LC, hurray for the impending teeth but boo for the night wakings.

IHA, happy birthday to L!

S&I, yay for A sitting up!

NEL, are you on your vacation yet?

AFU, DH and I enjoyed our anniversary and our 24 hours of alone time except for the fact that I was so engorged I didn't sleep at all last night. At some point my boobs started leaking and left a huge stain on the hotel sheets. Thankfully N did okay while we were away and I'm happy to see that he hasn't forgotten how to BF after having all those bottles.

 

[S&I]

IHA, happy birthday to Liam! I can't believe he's already 1 either. He is so adorable, and I love that cookie monster cake you made for him - very talented!

AMC, that's great that B did so well on the road trip! And wow, I think A was 23 inches at his 2-month appointment! You've got one tall kiddo there. He's actually doing really well if he's only waking up once per night at his age. That's great that your DH will be taking over the nightly feeds once you go back to work, but sorry you're not looking forward to going back to work. I was the same way, but it gets easier as you get back into the groove of things. Babies have a hard time knowing when they're tired themselves, so they end up staying awake and getting fussy. Stick with the swaddle if it seems to be helping.

LC, when are you getting the Diono? Sorry E's sleep is still not great. It might be a growth spurt or teething. That's strange that he's been waking up so upset too, but it doesn't sound like he's waking out of hunger since he only took 40ml. A has been crying (but his eyes are still closed) almost every hour or less when we put him down for the night. I'll go in there and pick him up, and he'll fall asleep on my shoulder, so I put him back down and he sleeps for another 30 minutes to an hour. This goes on for about 3-4 times, sometimes more, and then he'll sleep for a 5-6 hour stretch. Last night, he woke up around 4:45am and wouldn't go back to sleep no matter what I tried. I finally took him with me to the living room to lay on the recliner just before 6am, and he nursed and fell asleep for about an hour. Now he seems to be tired, but still won't go down for a nap.

Pancake, I would love if A turned into the good baby that S is! Overall though, A is a good baby. He just has problems when he's hungry (easy solution) or when he's tired (not so easy to get him to fall asleep and stay asleep), but that's normal for babies. I'm not too worried about A not rolling on his own either. I'm just happy that he's finally figured out and semi-tolerates tummy time, ha! That's interesting that S hates both strollers equally, but sounds like she might start to enjoy them soon. Your villa in Bali sounds fantastic, and yay for S getting to take a dip in the pool everyday. Can't wait to see more pics! Hope S gets over her cold quickly too!

Mayerling, happy anniversary! Glad you were able to get away and celebrate, but sorry about being engorged. Did you pump while you were away?

 

[NewEnglandLady]

Pancake, so great to hear that you are all enjoying the family vacation!! And that S is doing so well! K is also having a tough time sleeping while we are on vacation. She's definitely not as settled and takes longer to go down for her daytime naps. I was expecting it, but am still a little bummed because we just got to a place where I could put her down for a nap and she'd go right down. Night is tougher, too. She's been moving around a lot at 3am. Not waking, just moving around. I don't know if she does this at home and I'm not aware because she's in her nursery, but it definitely wakes me here. She's also resumed her 5:45 wakeups here. Anyway, here's hoping our babes start sleeping a little better for the remainder of the vacation!

Amazing how much S is eating! I'm scared to try any finger foods since her teeth have barely broken through and I ended up having to buy food here instead of making my own. Oh well, at least she likes it.

LC, you're probably right about the teething. It's the worst because you just want them to break through already. So frustrating that it's disturbing his sleep when he's already having issues staying asleep. Is he feeding at the 11pm and 1am wakeups? My friend's 7-month old was having the same problem and her sleep consultant told her that for the next month or so, it's fine to feed at one of the wakeups, just not both. Is E really up at both? Or are his eyes closed and he's just fussing?

Thanks so much for the tip to prep Katie for a cut. It's really good advice. I know she must be used to me playing with her hair, but I'll start doing it more dilberately.

amc, awesome that B did so well on the road trip! Our trip was about 6 hours, but it was half car, half ferry rides. I thougth K would sleep well in the car, but not so much. I'm so glad B did! And pumping on the road is always hilarious. I did it a couple of times as a passenger and once as a driver. I tried draping a swaddle over myself, but it fell off when I was driving and I literally said "f*&k it". Wow, B is so long!! PSers must have long babies, many of us have kiddos in the 90th percentile for height.

IHA, look at that cutie! I can't believe he's 1!!

S&I, so cute that A is starting to grab his toes. And I'm glad that the strollers are working out for you! K did well on the car ride up, but didn't sleep as well as I'd hoped. We had to take 3 ferries to get here, so I had to take her out a few times, which disrupted things. We decided to take the infant carrier instead of the convertible seat for this trip because the base is a cinch to install in the rental car. The plan when we get back is to install the convertible and start using it.

Mayerling, congrats to N on rolling over! Is it front to back? Both sides? K insisted only rolling to her right for about a month.

AFU, vacation is going well, I need to download some pics. Like Sylvie, Katie is not sleeping as well as she usually does. I expected it, but it's still rough since we'd gotten to a great place with naps before leaving. Anyway, she seems to be enjoying herself and it's so nice to have a week of family time--we haven't had that since K was born!

Speaking of sleep, K is on the 2-3-4 routine pretty consistenly now. Meaning, she's up for 2 hours between waking up for the day and her first nap. Up for 3 hours between her first and second nap and up for 4 hours between the second nap and bedtime. She usually wakes up at 6, then sleeps from 8 - 10 and then again from 1 - 3 and goes to bed at 7. It's been a little out of whack on this vacation, but not too bad. I like that the 4 hour block gives us time to go have dinner, but 4 hours of watching an infant like a hawk can be a little exhausting.

Before having K, I always listed D and my love of travelling as a reason we held off having kids for a few years. Everybody said "you can travel with kids!" and I always thought to myself "Sure, but it's not the same at all". I have to say, travelling with K is so much fun and I love it, but it absolutely is not at all similar to travelling without kids. I'm actually reading a book on this vacation while K naps. I have never read a book on vacation in my life.

 

[ChinaCat]

Hi ladies, hoping to join you finally. No way I can catch up, so just going to jump in.

Ivy is 3.5 months now and doing beautifully. Been back at work since end of August.

Question: She's been on a pretty consistent schedule for awhile now. Eats at 7 am, 10 am, 1 pm, 4 pm, 7 pm, sometimes 10 pm. But lately she's not eating as much at some times. I'm pretty sure she's transitioning to drop a feeding and go to 3 big naps rather than sleeping every 1.5 hours out of 3. But I just can't remember how it works or what I should do.

Anyone's kiddos (that are on a schedule) transitioning around this age? I know the 4 month wakeful is around the corner, and she's already showing signs of that, but this is more like she just isn't interested in eating at 10 am. So I think I need to drop the 10 pm feeding and she'll end up eating more at the eating times during the day.

PPM- How are you feeling? I do know someone that had the same unfortunate experience as you. Anything you want me to ask her?

All the babies are so cute! AMC, O looked so much like your little one with all the blonde hair. Ivy is blonde, but not nearly as blonde as her brother was.

 

[pancake]

ChinaCat, hooray!! So great to see you here finally, and fantastic to "meet" little Ivy! She's gorgeous! Re the routine, I kind of let S dictate her routine and she ended up spacing her feeds out to 4 hourly around that age, I think. It did mess with feed-play-sleep from time to time, but it worked for us. That said, she didn't STTN at that age - was still waking once overnight after an ~8pm feed.

NEL, I feel so sorry for S when we're away from home and she has to readjust to a new sleeping environment. Poor little bubs! But we had a better night last night. S went down happily at 7pm, and then woke at about 5:30am; she tried to resettle herself for about 30 minutes but because of her very runny/blocked nose was having trouble so she eventually got up at 6am for a feed. Poor little thing - she's drooling heaps and having a bit of difficulty at times with nursing because of her congestion, but she's still so happy when she's awake!

Re finger food and teeth...S doesn't have any teeth at all still But also, babies don't grow molars and eye teeth until much later on, by which time they are definitely eating lots of solid and finger foods already, so clearly it's just dependent on the textures you give them. S eats chunks of fruit (watermelon, mandarin segments, etc), vegetable pieces (asparagus spears, broccoli and cauliflower florets, etc) and lots of bread/toast type things - the latter are her favourite. She's really methodical about it now - bite, careful chew (this bit is so cute as she purses her lips and puffs out her cheeks), swallow, repeat.

Totally know what you mean about vacation-with-baby being a whole new planet! If this were pre-S, D and I would be scuba-diving and snorkelling every day, and dining out at night... as it is now, we lounge by the pool all morning, take S out for lunch and early afternoon, then come back here and read/hang out while she has her afternoon nap. It's totally different, but not bad, I must say! And spending the family time together is such a joy.

That's amazing that K lasts from 3pm until 7pm! S still needs to have a good sleep later in the afternoon otherwise she gets stroppy by the time bathtime comes around. On holidays things have been a bit different of course, but she's been waking around 6, sleeping from about 7-8:30, napping from about 10-11:30, and then again from about 2/2:30 to about 4:30. We are 2 hours behind home here in Bali so it's a bit funny and inconsistent, though.

S&I - we should count our blessings to have "blob" babies (as I affectionately coin it) who aren't on the move, haha. That's great that Alex is happier on his tummy now! S isn't In fact, she's worse on her tummy than she was a while ago. Since she's been able to sit, she wants to sit all the time, and so is much less tolerant of being on her tummy than she used to be. Funny little things, aren't they?!

AFU, a very snuffleapagus Sylvie overnight. She had a bit of trouble with her 6am breastfeed but seems to improve during the day when it's warm and humid. She ate breakfast in front of the laptop this morning so that my mother could watch her on Skype She's currently down for her morning nap and we're heading out for lunch and a wander round later.

 

[bobbin]

Pancake: You look Ah-ma-zing! Wearing a bikini is something that I don't think I am ever going to do again. I guess C makes up for having a stomach with horrible looking stretchmarks and a muffin top. Maybe.

This is just a quick post as I want some advice on how to handle this situation. One of the mums in my mother's group separated from her husband when her bub was about 2 months old. She has a 3 yr old too. I am a member of an Australian parenting forum, but I don't frequent it very much as it is a bit catty for my liking. Anyway, I was on it the other day and I recognised her from her posts. She was posting about how she is at her wits end as her 3 year old is acting out due to his daddy leaving and how hard she is finding it coupled with her 4mo not sleeping and not being very easygoing.

Would you say something? Would you let her know you had recognised her? I want to offer to babysit her 4mo so she can spend 1 on 1 time with her 3yo. I know that I would struggle to accept the help, so how can I approach it in a way that doesn't embarass her and makes it more likely that she will accept the help?

 

[pancake]

Bobbin, thank you - I think we all have our body hangups post-baby and I am no exception, but I am getting more comfortable with it!

I think you are so sweet to want to help out your friend. Do you think you even need to say anything about knowing more about the situation? As it is, what you "officially" know is probably enough to justify your wanting to make the offer. I think it depends on the person...some would have no issue with being recognized from an online forum, whereas others would very much use the forum as an anonymous place to vnt. I think if she's more likely to be in th latter group, then her knowing that you've read her posts and know it's her would probably make het feel awkward and maybe less likely to take you up?

 

[PetitiePoire]

Pancake- I''m super jealous of you in that bathing suit! I've dropped all of the baby weight, but I have terrible stretch marks on my sides, so a bikini is no longer in the cards for this momma. You look fantastic! Now you have to buy/wear all of the cute ones that I can't wear.

Bobbin- I wouldn't let her knew you recognized her, I'd just offer to baby sit. I'm one who would say "oh, thank you!" but never follow up, so maybe it would be better to say "hey, why don't you take 3yo to the park on Saturday and I can watch 4mo for a few hours. I can imagine he is missing that one on one time." that's assuming you are relatively close to her?



AFM- L is doing great. Sleep has been weird. At her 2 month she was 6kg and 64cm tall. Still a noisy sleeper and is waking 1-2 times with monster noises between... So, I get little sleep. Sorry so short and random. We've had friends/family in town the last two weeks.

 

[lliang_chi]

Pancake, Aw, what a sweetie pie! I'm glad S is loving vacation and is slowly getting adjusted to sleeping in a new place. I can't say I've noticed Ethan being out of sorts when in a new place, but I think he's just a touch-and-go sleeper, so it is what it is. Hope S's cold clears soon. Poor little thing. Did you pack your nosefrida? I must remember to add that to my "Ethan packing list."

PP, how was the friends/family visit? Hope you can get some better sleep. Remind me how old L is again? I started to sleep better when we moved Ethan to his room around 10-11 wks. But we also have a tiny condo, so moving him wasn't really moving him far, so I was OK with it.

Bobbin, C's a gorgeous baby and a beacon of smiles! I would think she's definitely worth it. Re: your mom's group friend, do you have her email/phone number? Maybe you can contact her for a play date for the two babies. She might say, "Oh, but I have my oldest with me too." Then you can offer to watch the two little ones if she wants to do a fun afternoon with her eldest?

China, Ivy's just gorgeous!!! TBH I can't remember at 3 months, Ethan also went to day care so his schedule got all screwed up for a while. He was doing 4 bottles at day care a day, I think there were around 3+ hrs apart. I'd suggest you maybe try giving her a bigger bottle at 7AM when she wakes up, and any of the other feeding times that she's consistently eating.

NEL, hope you're enjoying your vacation. Miss K must be loving the fresh air and outdoors. Wow, K sounds like such a predictabe baby. Ethan's naps are aorund 30-45 mins, with an hour nap in hte middle of the day, right after he eats his dinner. Then he'll be up once more at 9PM for a second dinner. His wake ups at 1AM are usually just for his suckie and some pats. His 3 or 4AM wake ups lately have been for some food. Then I usually get him him after 5AM to top him up before day care. At day care they don't feed him until after 8AM so that's a long time for him to go without food.

S&I, sounds like we have the same sleepy crying kid. LOL. Ethan was a sleepy eater (would eat while sleeping, still does), seems like he's also a sleepy fusser. His eyes will be closed and he'll just kinda moan and pout. It's kinda funny if it wasn't at 1AM.... Haven't pulled the trigger on the Diono's yet. I should soon, but just dropped a chunk of change on a new fancy DSLR and feel bad about spending more in the same month. Next month is our Swiss vacation, so maybe in Nov (if Ethan makes it that long) Not sure if he will.

Mayer, happy annivesary to you and your DH! I'm so glad you had a nice anniversary night, good for you! Please remind me, was it your mom that watched N while you were gone?

More updates on us later, but off to a meeting right now. Take care ladies!

 

[pancake]

PP, wow L is growing so well! Are you tempted to move her into a separate room? We still have S in our room at 7 months but if she had been really detrimental to our sleep I think we would have moved her earlier. How has it been with all the family and friends? Thank you for the compliment. As I said in my reply to Bobbin, I think we all have our issues with post-baby body and I am definitely still adjusting to the changes - my booty seems to have disappeared, boobs are obviously lower (sigh!), I still have the linea nigra on my tummy, and my mid-section isn't as "tight" as it was before, although I am quite a bit below my pre-pregnancy weight (the miracle of BFing!). Obviously I wouldn't trade it in for the world though - I look at myself in the mirror now and sometimes just think, "This body grew Sylvie!". Amazing.

LC - we don't have a Nosefrida! I have seen it around a lot lately - various online deals, in pharmacies, etc - but never bought one! Fortunately S seems to have inherited my generous nasal passages, haha, rather than D's narrow ones, so she hasn't been completely clogged up yet. But super-snuffly-goobery! She's better today though, and had a very good night last night, so I think we're on the mend.

Which DSLR did you get? I have an entry-level Canon and really like it... D was just saying the other day that it's funny how, now that we have a baby, all of our holiday pictures are OF the baby - and hardly any pictures to identify where it is that we are! So true. I was scrolling through my phone and camera pics yesterday and 99% of them are of S doing S things in various places

 

[lliang_chi]

Pancake, I bought a Canon T4i. I'm excited! Just got the shipping confirmation today, woot woot! We have a nosefrida, but I only used it once on Ethan. He's not a fan.

So Ethan's day care asked us to date and label with contents the solids we bring in for him. Any guesses why they want that? I normally just make for him fruit or veggie purees, with a cube of oatmeal/banana. Now that he's eating meat/protien, I mix in some chicken or egg yolk (hard boiled) and some yogurt (full fat greek) if I have it.

Sleep-wise Ethan's been getting a touch better-I think. Oh and I see the barest of evidence of two little teeth on the bottom. Maybe only visible to mama eyes

 

[ChinaCat]

Pancake- you look a-mazing and Sylvie is the cutest. I just love her name too. I don't think I've ever used our nosefrieda. We have one, but I guess O's never had that bad of a cold. Supposedly they work great though.

LC-Thanks for chiming in re: feeding. Isn't it funny how you can be so consumed with things (like eating and sleep schedules) and then totally forget a month later? On your daycare- my guess is either a kid has food allergies so they want to be safe/keep those foods away or it's just a house-keeping thing- like always good to know what they are feeding your kid. Or maybe they want to be able to pay attention if they notice any changes in poop, etc. Can you ask why?

Petite-Did you share your little one's name? If not, no worries just curious! Agreed on the above- would you consider moving her? O was such a noisy sleeper we moved him to his own room right away. Ivy is not so loud, but she is in her own room. I have a monitor that I keep on super low so I don't hear all of her thrashings, but I instantly hear her if she cries. It really helps if you can get some good sleep. My sister has a very noisy sleeper (lots of grunting) and she was very resistant to moving him, but finally did and is so happy b/c she's actually getting sleep. But I know lots of moms want to keep their babies with them. Just a thought.

NEL- BF on the go! I was much more modest with O. With Ivy, I'm like whatever. We took the kids to my parents house (about a 5 hr drive) and stopped to nurse her about halfway. She wouldn't eat and at home when she does this, I have to stand up to nurse her. Yes, high maintenance much? So I get out of the car in the middle of the McDonald's parking lot in a town literally called Centerville and I'm trying to nurse her and jiggle her and keep the nursing cover on. Meanwhile it's about 104 degrees out. I'm sure I gave the smoking cowboys in their pick up trucks a show but I couldn't care less. Oh and she still refused to eat.

Feeding update if anyone cares: So we decided to just let her have 2 oz at 10 am, and then 5 oz at 1 and 4. So I BF her at 7 am, she gets 2 oz at 10 am, 5 oz at 1 pm and 4 pm, then I BF her at 7 and 10 pm. I probably should go to a 4 hour schedule, but my DH is going to be OOT next week and I don't want to mess with the schedule till he gets back.

We also just realized she hasn't had a poopy diaper since Monday. She used to be a poop multiple times a day, but it's slowed down to at least 1x a day. She seems perfectly happy, her tummy isn't hard, but it's weird. Going to call pedi, but I'm guessing they'll say a range is normal.

Other than that, she's great. She is so smiley and happy most of the time. She gurgles and "talks" all day long, belly laughs too. She just found her feet (oh how cute are their feet?) and rolled over once yesterday. She rolls from her back to side and back again all day long, but yesterday was the first time she rolled from her stomach to her back. I think it surprised her.

My favorite thing about her, besides her grin, is that if you stand her up, she only puts her feet in ballet positions. Mostly 5th, but sometimes 1st and 3rd. Hysterical.

I have to say, I'm so smitten with this baby stage. I hate admit it, but I was not so smitten with the baby stage with my first. It's normal and I know it has nothing to do with how much I love my first, but I just was very overwhelmed and emotional when he was a baby. This go round, partly b/c I know what to expect and partly b/c it's most likely our last, I'm just enjoying it so much more. I'm so thankful I get to experience it this way, but it does make me sad that I missed out on this feeling last time.

Anyone have a double stroller to recommend? I need one but we won't use it all that often so don't want to spend tons of $$$.

 

[megumic]

China, it's so nice to hear that you're enjoying the baby stage this time around! I haven't been posting here much b/c I've really been a bit of a debbie downer and feeling pretty crappy about being a new mom, my c/s, no longer working, etc. and haven't wanted to post all my negative energy. Plus I feel guilty that I am not as joyful as I expect to be or as joyful as others expected me to be.

In any event, I just wanted to say that I find it encouraging that you recognize the difference in how you felt last time and how you feel this time and I really appreciate you sharing. I hope I feel that too whenever we do go for baby #2.

 

[lliang_chi]

Meg, big virtual hug! Don't feel like you can't post here. We're here to listen and help. I hope you've spoken to your OB/health care provider about possible PPD (post partum depression). It might be that you're just dealing with baby blues, but do get a double check on the PPD. It's very easy to fall to it, especially with the lack of sleep, new baby, being home alone etc. I had the baby blues pretty bad (at least that's what it felt like to me). It eventually went away but one thing that I found helpful was I asked my husband to stay watchful if he notices I'm getting worse, or at least get me to talk about how I feel. My sister also helped in that regards too. That way you have other people also keeping an eye on how you're doing.

China, I'm glad you're enjoying Ivy's little discoveries and miracles. I did ask about why they want Ethan's food labelled and they said in case he has a reaction. I never give day care anything he hasn't had before, and only introduce new foods to him on the weekend. But whatever, if they want labels, I'll put stickie notes with what each container has. Were you a dancer before? I never did ballet so I have no idea what the feet positions are, but I think it's so cute that she's a natural. LOL! You need to get those socks/tights that have little ballet slippers on them. SO CUTE!

AFU: Woo hoo, I should be getting my camera TOMORROW! Hooray!!! I seriously cannot wait!

 

[fleur-de-lis]

Hi new mamas! Quick question from someone who is still on the pregnancy board...

Knowing what you know now, what sorts of things would you advice a couple do during these last days before life turns upside down with a baby?

For examples, I've heard:
-- See as many movies as you can in a theater, because it becomes too expensive to be worth it when you have to get a baby sitter!
-- Have dinner at that trendy spot NOW!
-- Vegas is not at all the same once you're a family-- have one last time staying up late at the casinos, going to restaurants helmed by starred chefs, and taking in shows!
-- Sleep in late!

So, if you knew then what you know now, what tips would you give your prior self?

 

[ChinaCat]

Megumic- I got so much support from this thread the first time around so please don't worry about any negative energy. It's not all unicorns and rainbows, it's HARD, and I think it's important to share all aspects. Just know you aren't alone, even moms that are more "joyful" have hard times. A week ago I was crying on the bathroom floor. So even though I'm enjoying the babyness more, it's still hard. Trying to juggle everything, plus the physical exhaustion and oh the hormones.I too thought I might have had some PPD with O and went to talk to someone. It turned out I didn't, but even just talking to someone that once was a huge relief. I'm sorry you're having a hard time, but just know that it doesn't mean you aren't a good mom and it doesn't mean you will always feel this way. Hugs. We're here if you just need to talk.

Lliang- Well at least you know they are on top of things. Maybe there are some parents who just throw new foods into the mix? That's kind of a funny thought to me- like, well he's never had strawberries but I'm sure it's FINE? I was a dancer but ballet was a loooong time ago. Yay for your camera!!! I got one for Christmas and am still trying to figure it out.

ETA: Meg, how old is Callen now?

Also, FDL, is that question meant to torture us? Kidding, great question. Will think on it for you. Off the top of my head:

Sleep in
Record the silence of your house
Movies for sure
Just leave the house spontaneously. Pick up your keys and walk out the door without an hours worth of military style prep first.
Write a letter to yourself about all the things you like about your husband. Re-read it after baby is born when you want to stab the DH, as a reminder that you actually like your husband.
Road trip or vacation somewhere you've always wanted to go
Read books
Take naps
Paint your fingernails a bright color (I somehow never do this anymore, baby always has my fingers in her mouth)
Pretty much do anything that takes longer than 3 hours b/c after baby you live your life in 3 hour increments if you're nursing
Any projects that you've always meant to do- wedding picture albums, organize your closet, etc.

 

[pancake]

China - how is the new feeding regimen going? We are like you, if we made any significant changes then we did them over a weekend when D was home too. We never had a feeding schedule though, we just followed S's natural clock which fortunately was 3-4 hourly.

It's fabulous that you're able to smell the roses more this time around with Ivy. I don't think there is anything to feel bad about, re not feeling the same way when O was small. Everybody does the best they can and the adjustment to being a first time parent is HARD! Do you feel a bit wistful at times with Ivy because you know she might be your last? I feel overjoyed most of the time with S, but I do have little moments of incredible...I don't know, sadness?...that time is moving so quickly. I feel like I just want to bottle her essence at every stage! But I comfort myself a little by thinking about the fact that we will have more children (all being well).

I giggled aloud at your "things to do before baby" list. Especially recording the silence in your home

Meg, I'm with the others. Please talk to someone about how you're feeling. It may well just be a totally normal adaptive response, but if it isn't, you will be so much better for figuring that out and doing something about it. New motherhood is HARD, and I know you're very much grieving the birth experience that you wanted. I think redefining your role (in society, in your household, whatever) is a tough process. The second my daughter was born, I didn't care about work any more BUT I still found it difficult to adjust from being someone who made a tangible contribution to society, to being a SAHM. I totally get that what I am doing now is every bit as important as what I was doing before. But it is a true redefinition, a drawing of new boundaries, and that takes time to get used to.

Do not worry about being as joyful as anyone expected you to be. Just make sure that you are looking after yourself. I worried a lot about others' expectations and was pleasantly surprised to find that the people who I care about (and who care about me) were totally supportive of whatever I was doing or feeling.

LC, not sure re the food labelling, but I assume that it's one of the reasons china suggested. I think our camera is the same one that you guys have (it's the 550D/Kiss X4) or perhaps the model just before it. It's great! For baby photos I mostly use the no-flash setting, or if there's good natural light then I use the aperture priority setting. I play a little with manual settings, but am not enough of an expert to do too much. The difference in the quality of photos is still remarkable though; I had a really good quality compact before (the Canon G11) and the quality from our DSLR blows those photos out of the park! There are heaps of good basic tutorials on the web, too.

FDL, congratulations on your impending arrival! china had some great suggestions. I would just add that, if you plan to sleep the baby in your room, you should enjoy taking naps and hanging out on your bed during the day etc, as once the baby sleeps in there it is largely his/her domain after the first few weeks. I used to be able to nap with S in the same room but after a couple of months she became too aware of her surroundings and so I couldn't hang out near her whilst she was asleep any more.

And definitely enjoy long languid brunches and lunches, dinners out, etc. We can do those things again now - S is great with brunch and lunch, and she goes down for the night at 6:30 so we can go out for dinner (and our families are very supportive and happy to stay in with S). But we can't head out for brunch and sit and read the papers for hours any more. It's definitely more fun now, but you're kind of "on" all the time, so enjoy switching off while you can!

NEL - just wanted to say, we are LOVING our Inglesina Fast!! S loves it too. It is so easy to use, wipe down, keep clean, fold up, store, etc... she is always so happy when we put her in it that she bounces up and down and makes happy noises On holidays it has been fantastic. She sits at the table with us for breakfast and just loves being a part of everything - plus at breakfast she eats the same foods as us too (toast, yoghurt, fruit pieces, baked beans, etc) so it is super exciting for her and the chair makes it so much easier!

AFU, our holiday is rapidly coming to an end - we fly home on an overnight flight (urgh) tomorrow night. S has been SO amazing on this holiday and it has been just fantastic to all be together. Everywhere we go she makes new friends - such a little pixie at the moment, it's all smiles and giggles and "play with me" squeaks and squawks! She wants to examine and touch and taste everything around her, and being on holidays, we have time to watch it all happen and help her do it. I just want to freeze time!

Yesterday D decided it was my "Mother's Day", as back in May, when it was actually MD in Australia, we were away with D interstate and I spent the whole day with S traipsing around to try and get her to nap in the stroller, as D was at a conference and we'd had to check out of the hotel that morning. I remember being so bummed and sad seeing all the families out for their Mother's Day picnics and BBQs, plus my dad was staying in the family home at the time and it was so stressful, so it was all a bit of a non-event. So yesterday morning I woke to a lovely card "from Sylvie" (with help obv!) and we went out for a beautiful lunch. D wanted me to have a massage but I'd had one the night before so I decided to save it up until today instead

 

[blondebunny]

Hi mommies!! Im not sure if this has been posted somewhere else but I was starting to look into nursing bras and was curious if anyone had any recommendations?? I had fairly large boobs before i got pregnant (34d) and now they are HUGE but didnt know if that mattered if some bras were better for you if you are smaller/bigger. Thanks so much!! Your babies are beautiful! Cant wait to join the group in a few months!

 

[pancake]

blondebunny - hello! Congratulations! Re bras, I swear by the Bravado Body Silk seamless bra, both for pregnancy and now for nursing. It is incredibly comfortable and has accommodated quite a bit of, erm, flux in my cup size. Pre-preg I was a 34B-C, during pregnancy I went up to a 36D, immediately post-partum I went up to an E+ cup for a while, and now, at 7 months post-partum, I'm back to a 34C. I wear a Medium in the Bravado bras and they have been my go-to since about 25 weeks.

For nursing tanks, I highly recommend the Glamourmom Full Bust long tanks. They give more support than most nursing tanks, are really nice and long for good coverage whilst pregnant and tummy coverage afterwards, they breathe well and the fabric is really hardy and good quality.

 

[FrekeChild]

Hey ladies!

Not a lot of time, because things are chaos, but I'm still kickin' for the most part.

Pancake, I hate you in your bikini! You look adorable though - I'm just jealous!

After about 3 days of being here, A caught a cold. And then we caught her cold. And then my BFF (came to help me because of my knee) caught her cold. So yeah, being laid up AND having a cold? Really sucks. And then that on top of unpacking...Plus the hubs started his new job the Monday after we got here. Needless to say, I am overwhelmed!

So I'll be around, but not posting much here for a while.

ETA: I'm having a rough time with being a SAHM suddenly. Thank goodness I don't have to go to work right now on top of everything else, but I feel like I have to justify taking a nap to my husband, since he's the one paying the bills, and I'm the one that's, well, napping. Meh.

Updates on A:
-started crawling August 22 (Mamas of babies with torticollis, WATCH how your baby crawls, if they use one leg to pull themselves around, and drag the other, notify your ped and INSIST on seeing a physical therapist again if you aren't seeing one currently!)
-started pulling herself to standing this week
-has gotten so fast at crawling and moving around that I can't seem to get non-blurry pictures anymore
-holding at 4 teeth, but I anticipate more soon...

And pics! Because I just uploaded a ton from my iphone...some of my faves!

 

[ChinaCat]

Freke she is so cute!!! And my first thought was "I love those pajamas!" and then I read your caption. Sorry about the colds and the move and being laid up. Hope everything gets sorted soon.

 

[PetitiePoire]

LC- Family visit was great! They loved seeing L. She is now 10 weeks old! Her room is next to ours, so it wouldn’t be THAT big of an issue, but I’m not ready. Haha Re: daycare and food- I can imagine they want to know for allergies reasons. Aw, how is he doing with the teeth coming in? So cute! Looking forward to your camera update.

Pancake- I’m definitely not ready to move her. I still wake up in the middle of the night to check on her in the pack N play. It was great having family here. It really is amazing what our bodies can do. Even with the stretch marks I smile knowing my body was able to properly care for her. That is SO sweet of your DH to give you a proper Mother’s Day!

China- I’ve definitely thought about moving her into her own room, but I’ve been able to function just fine so far, so I’m not too concerned. Just a little grumpier at DH, poor thing. It was really interesting reading your feeding schedule. I’m always curious how much L gets/should get since I EBF. Also, L has started pooping only once a day or every other day. That happened right after the doctor told me she should start doing that. The ballet positions sounds super cute! I hope you have lots of pics, the baby stage is so much fun!

Meg- I hope you are able to join in more! Feel free to vent away about any concerns/issues. I know, in general, venting has always helped me and I’m sure you’d be surprised how many can relate to different feelings about being a new mom. Also, I second China’s suggestion for FDL, which works great for new mommas, to randomly leave the house! Some days I leave for 2 hours when DH gets home to care for L. Sometimes I just need time to be ME and feel no other responsibilities. It helps tremendously.

FDL- The last thing we did before my daughter’s birth DH and I went to the circus, had a wonderful lunch, and went walking just the two of us. It was great and a day I will always cherish. We tried to do as much as we could alone before her arrival. Honestly, life has changed. My family was just here and DH and I went to the grocery store alone. It was amazing the difference of not having a baby. It was only a quick trip, but I think we will need to time alone into our lives. It’s still possible with baby and perhaps you learn to cherish it more. Also, I’ve tried my best to do everything I used to (shopping, lunches,etc) with baby. It’s much harder with a carseat/stroller, but I don’t want to feel confined.


BB- No advice on the bras. I’m small in that area, and my size has actually decreased postpartum due to the weight loss. However, I do know that I really dislike the ones I purchased before she was born, so perhaps it’s best to wait until after to find the right size/style. Now I just wear one of those light tanktop style bralettes, which doesn’t sound like something that would work for you.

Freke- I feel you on the difficulties staying home! I greatly appreciate that I’m able to, but recently I’ve had a strong urge to work! I also feel like I need to tell DH what I DO accomplish during the day. I think it’s more for me though, because he mind. I try to take time to realize all of the work and energy it does take to watch a baby. Love the new pics! She’s a doll! Ahh the crawling looks sooo cute!


AFU- Family time was great! I loved having visitors and they loved seeing L. Her nap schedules were way off though and she seems to be enjoying the quiet now with her 3 hour nap. I’ve learned her noises are just that, noises. I no longer pick her up, assuming she’s awake. I leave her alone and she’s back to sleep in a few minutes. We bought a 3in foam mattress for the PnP, fits perfectly. She slept on that last night and it was so nice having the bed back, but I still woke up to peek on her every hour or two. She was right next to the bed. I’m pathetic. Before, she would cry if I put her in the PnP, but now it seems ok with the mattress. I’m finally admitting she hates car rides now. She cries the whole time. Other than that, I just can’t get enough of her. I’m so amazed and so grateful I get to call her mine.

 

[megumic]

Thanks so much everyone for the support! It means a lot and is helpful to know others have felt crappy about new mommyhood as well.

LC, my OB did talk to me about PPD at my 2 week visit. I go back in 10 days for my 6 week post-partum visit and will likely bring it up again. I don't *think* it's true PPD, but I can't be sure. DH just keeps saying he feels like he's losing his wife, but then again he only sees me at night which is when I am the most wistful. DH has been great all around though and does ask me about my feelings, etc. Thanks for the virtual hug and encouragement

China, Callan is now one month old! I can't even believe it. Yes, the hormones plus new mommyhood really is HARD (plus boob leakage -- I just started leaking everywhere. Great. LOL) I keep thinking it has to get easier and I'll probably forget about this otherwise why would anyone ever have more kiddos?? I'm eager to turn the corner and appreciate your encouragement and thoughts.

Pancake, I think you nailed it -- about redefining my role. Totally weird and different. I always thought I'd love to be a SAHM, but turns out it's not everything I'd hoped for. Although I do think I'm still in the weeds of the newborn stage and not quite at the full on SAHM-ness. And yes, grieving is definitey the way I describe my feelings about my birth experience. A not so close friend who doesn't have kids was over and said "Yeah, it's like your baby was ripped out of you." And while I'm sure many c/s moms feel that is a harsh way to describe it and that it doesn't describe their experience, that's how I defined mine and I appreciated that someone else could verbalize what I couldn't. I think that is part of my redefinition too -- that I will forever have had a c/s and I can't make the scar or numbness go away or the memories.

PP, I will embrace that and try to get out more! We are leaving C for the first time tomorrow to attend a wedding locally. I'm not nervous right now, but I'm sure when the time comes I will be!

Thanks again everyone for the encouragement. I will try to hang around here more often from now on!

 

[S&I]

NEL, glad you're having fun on your vacation. Hope she goes back to her normal sleeping routine once you get back to reality. Let me know how she likes the Britax seat when you make the switch. Sounds like traveling with K is giving you a more relaxed vacation. I remember always trying to cram everything into our pre-baby vacations, so I end up more tired than before I left.

China, welcome! Ivy is so cute, and looks so happy! I'm glad you're enjoying the baby stages this time around. I never forced A into a schedule, so he kind of transitioned himself to his earlier 7-8pm bedtime from 10-11pm. I think it was around that age when he started sleeping through until around 2-3am before needing a bottle. Now at 5 months, he doesn't need a bottle overnight, but still wakes up once (sometimes more) to get some cuddles out of me before going back to sleep. So sweet that Ivy stands in ballet positions! I've heard great things about the Baby Jogger City Mini Double stroller. I think Janine has one, but a few of us have the single version and love it.

Pancake, I love how tiny S looks in that bed! Sorry she's been a bit stuffed up, but hope it's not bothering her too much. I think A might be coming down with his first cold. My dad said he was coughing and sneezing more than usual yesterday. He sounded a bit odd/weak last night too, but so far no high temps, so hopefully it's nothing serious. I'll echo everyone else in saying that you look great in that bikini too! And yes, another reason that I'm fine with A not rolling over yet is because I know he'll be mobile soon enough, so there's no rush on my part. Yay for your Mother's Day massage and lunch!

Bobbin, I hope you're able to come up with a plan for your friend from your mother's group. That's got to be tough for her to go through, and I'm sure she would appreciate some time to spend with just her 3yo. I think you can still offer to help her without letting her know that you saw her posts on another forum.

Petite, glad L is doing well. A is a pretty noisy sleeper too. When I slept in his nursery, I would wake up with every little noise he made, and lay there watching him to see if he was actually going to wake up. It's much better now that I'm back in my own room with the monitor. Now I'll only wake up and turn on the video when he makes a sound that's loud enough for the monitor to pick up.

LC, how do you like your new DSLR? How exciting about E's 2 teeth coming in. Take pics when you can! I had a dream the other week that all of A's teeth had come in, and I was sad because I couldn't remember when the first one came in, ha!

Meg, don't feel bad about posting. It's not always so happy and exciting times for any of us. Definitely bring it back up with your OB when you go for your postpartum visit. Or it might help a little to just vent here too. We're here for you! When I first had A, I was so sure that he'd be an only child, mostly because my recovery was hard for me and I didn't even have a bad delivery or anything, and partly because taking care of a newborn is so hard in those first few weeks/months. But after 3 months, I started forgetting about the pain of recovery and how stressful the first month was, Now I'm excited about planning for #2 in the next 2-3 years.

FDL, the lists that China and Pancake made for you are pretty good. Definitely try to go out when you can, just to do whatever the heck you want. Spontaneity goes out the window after the baby comes. It's still possible to go out with a baby, but it takes more time and planning a bit to get out of the door, and you won't be able to stay out as long either.

blondebunny, I use the Medela Ultra-Stretch Nursing Bra from BRU - at least that's what their website calls it. I think it's actually made by Bravado, specifically for BRU because I could never find it anywhere else. I'm only a C cup so I don't know how it would fit for bigger cup sizes.

Freke, so sorry A's cold went around the entire house! And wow, I can't believe she's already crawling all over the place and pulling herself up! She still looks as cute as ever! I'm sure D understands that watching A all day isn't an easy thing to do, and that you deserve your nap.

AFU, the weather change seems to have affected A because I think he might be getting his first cold. He woke up right around 5AM today, so I ordered myself a new iPhone after I nursed him. Too bad the first round of phones sold out in an hour. A is 5 months old today! I have to remember to take his 5-month picture with his Pooh Bear when I get home tonight.

 

[PilsnPinkysMom]

This thread moves so fast!! Here’s my best attempt at catching up.

Bobbin: Super cute Father’s Day photo. Definitely a sweet keepsake.

LC: E looks so grown up with that haircut.

Steph: Hope you were able to visit the shore. Nora IS tall! How tall are you and your DH?

Pancake: Sorry about the will stressors. Sounds like the trip was just what you needed. You look AMAZING, btw. I wish I looked that good pre-pregnancy, let alone post.

Mayer: Gosh, that thrush is hard to conquer!! Any recent improvements? And rolling already?! Time flies. Glad you had a nice anniversary.

Nel: LOL at the van rental! My new-mom friend bought a van. Theyre so, so not minivan people, but she loves it. They camp a lot, and she said the cargo room can’t be beat. Hope the trip continues to go well. What are you reading?

AMC: We struggle with sleep, too. Once E is overtired, all bets are off. Sounds like swaddling may be key for you.

China: She is gorgeous!!! And what a sweet name, to boot. Both of those were on our list of potential names…. so pretty! Thanks for sharing your birth story in the other thread- sounds like it was a good experience and life with Ivy is great ☺

Meg: Hugs, mama… I feel you. Definitely talk with your doc about PPD. About 1 in 7 mamas battle it. Motherhood is rough. Are you feeling any better? I know you're a terrific mother, so be kind to yourself.

Sorry for any mommies that I missed. Hope you and your LOs are all well!

AFU: I ended up having my breast abscesses drained via needle aspiration. They’ve done two rounds so far. Breastfeeding is still nuts. I’m using an SNS to stimulate supply, have some Domeperidone on the way, and am renting a scale to measure Eloise’s milk intake. It seems like I pump/nurse about 15 oz a day. Hoping the Dome will give me the edge that will allow me to give Eloise 75% (or more) breast milk.

In other news, I’m battling some PPD. E is just about six weeks, and I realized my stress/crying/anger hasn’t dissipated. Much is attributed to BF difficulties and dreading my return to work in two weeks, but I’m not acting in ways that are normal. After being awake from 2:30-6:00 AM today, yelling at my husband, and feeling angry toward poor Eloise, I realized it was time to call my doctor. They asked if I ever had thoughts of hurting myself or the baby, and to be honest, though I would NEVER act on the thoughts, I totally have. I feel like a horrible mother for saying that, but if it helps anyone else to identify their PDD or to feel less terrible about it, then it’s worth saying. For example, when nursing gets rough I start to feel really angry and resentful and take it out on Eloise. I FEEL like screaming at her and totally know how people are driven to shaking babies, but instead I do something like deliberately lay her down which I know will make her cry, and I make her cry for about five seconds because I’m so frustrated… And then I feel guilty and horrible that I “punished” her by laying her down and making her cry, and scoop her in my arms and apologize to her (an infant ) and soothe her. And then I feel even worse for acting in such a bizarre, mean, deranged way instead of just loving on my baby 100% of the time, like I’m failing at parenting or am a defective nurturer. I also say really mean things to my DH and about E at the height of my frustration. It’s not fair to E, or my husband, or myself. Having battled anxiety and depression in the past, I know very well that this is not NORMAL me, and I desperately need to get back to my normal state for everyone’s sake. My doctor's office had an overly concerned response to my inquiry, and I feel embarrassed that they even think I could be a threat to myself or my daughter, but I'd rather them be concerned than blow off my request for help.

BUT- (now that I sound really screwed up) there are plenty of great, happy moments, too!! Overall I enjoy parenthood, adore my daughter, and feel a lot closer to DH. Eloise has been smiling for about 1.5 weeks. I didn’t believe they were “real” smiles at first, but there’s no mistaking it now. That is the ONE thing that always, without fail or exception, makes me a happy mommy ☺ She eats like a champ (though nurses lazily), has gained over a pound in the last two weeks, and naps well... though only in her swing. Not sure how to transition to her crib for nap time.

 

[PilsnPinkysMom]

And a few photos to share. E at 2 weeks (with dog) and at 4 weeks. Hard to believe she'll be six weeks old on Sunday! Time for DH and I to take new photos!

 

[pancake]

PPM, I cannot believe the rough ride you've had - I think it's amazing that you are still nursing and pumping after the last few weeks! Eloise is very lucky to have you as her mother and I think that your insight into your own issues is pretty rare. How did you go with your doctor? I agree, it is better for them to overreact and worry too much about your mental state than to not have them know in the first place.

This might sound a bit trite, but I also just wanted to thank you for posting about your experience so openly here. I think we have a such a great little online environment in this thread, and people so rarely post about these sorts of things. I think it will help others a lot to read what you have written and be reassured that having those feelings is not an, "Oh, it's just me" thing.

Eloise is beautiful! Re transitioning to her crib, I wonder whether you might do well to wait a few weeks? She'll be at the height of her unsettledness around now (6-8 weeks usually) and it might be much easier in a little while. Smiles are just wonderful!!!

S&I - how is Alex doing? Hope he's not too sick with the cold, poor thing. S is still a bit goobery but otherwise completely herself so we're not worrying about it. Thank you for the compliment. I didn't realise that posting that pic would get such a response, but hey - who's turning down an ego boost? I am going to get the iPhone 5 too (have never owned an iPhone but when the 4S came out I did say I would get the 5 when it came out!) but probably not until after Christmas, so hopefully there won't be such a rush by then!

Meg - it's very sad, what you have gone through. I really feel for you; I think sometimes when we are used to being "in control", highly skilled professionals in our pre-baby lives, it makes it all the harder when something that really matters to us doesn't go to plan. I am very much of the "healthy baby, healthy mother" birth plan mentality, but even I was surprised by my own reaction when my obstetrician told me at 39+4 weeks that I would probably end up being induced. It wasn't the induction that frightened me, or the idea of a C/S that bothered me, but it was just that it was not what I had envisioned for myself - and that was not even a conscious thing, until that point I had never realised I felt that way.

I do think that time will heal things in that way, and as Callan grows and develops and becomes a real little personality I think it will help the scars fade for you. Also, re being a SAHM - I love it and loved it from very early on, but I was talking to a friend a couple of weeks ago who has a baby who's 3 weeks older than Sylvie, and she was saying that she is loving it now, but really struggled with the transition from high powered lawyer to SAHM - until about 6 months into it. So I think your experience is not uncommon, and maybe it helps to know that others feel that way too.

Oh - and re boob leakage. I think some women leak and some don't. I am one of those lucky ones in the "I LEAK!" club I cannot conceive of a life where I no longer have to wear breast pads around the clock, haha.

PP, S went through a "What? I'm in the car?? Let's SCREAM!!!!" phase around 6-10 weeks. She never screamed anywhere else and I used to absolutely HATE putting her in the car because of it and would avoid it as much as I could. She's better now, but still not a huge fan. She sort of just looks disconsolate when I put her in and goes all subdued.

That feeling of privilege around being a mother of a baby, I know exactly what you mean. I think motherhood is a joy and a privilege, or at least it is for me. I'm not sure that that feeling ever goes away!

Freke - you KNOW I think A is adorable, but those pics - fantastic! Where are those PJs from? They're so cute! She is such a cheeky little pixie. You have been having such a wretched time since the move - hopefully things will smooth out for you guys from hereon in.

 

[PetitiePoire]

PPM- thank you, thank you, thank you for sharing your experience. I suffered with bouts of depression pre-pregnancy and whole heartedly expected PPD. Anyways, it would have been nice if others were so honest about how depression feels. I grew up being told it was "normal teenage/life feelings, etc" from a family that didn't believe in depression. I think it's so important that people learn the symptoms and are able to ask for help.

Eloise is one blessed little girl to have you as her mommy. I know it's been a rough road, but you need to celebrate and congratulate yourself for fighting through these 6 weeks BFing. Although time flies with a baby, it's long time to feel like you're struggling. You and some of the others here deserve some sort of medal.

Thanks again PPM.



ETA- we weighed L daily for almost a month and she topped the charts before the end of it. What did the doctor say or how did you know E wasn't getting enough? I'm always curious for L since I exclusively BF. the doctor hasn't said that I need to supplement, but milk isn't pouring out either so I worry.

 

[mayerling]

Hi everyone,

I've been MIA for a few days because we just got back to th Uk and are trying to adjust. N did great on the flight - slept for about two thirds of it and was a happy bub for the rest. He's definitely having sleep regression issues as he's gone from waking up once per night to waking up multiple times. Also, I got him a swing and he seems to hate it. I was hoping it old be th answer to our nap issues and I'm really disappointed. I'll come back with a personalized post later but I wanted to say a big thank you to PPM and everybody else who's chimed in about how difficult motherhood is.

I don't think I hav PPD as I haven't had any thoughts about harming N or myself and I've never blown up - unless you count the fact that I still cry every once in a while, but every now then I find myself missing my past life and kind of regretting my decision to have a child so soon. I feel guilty even saying it. But I do feel overwhelmed especially now that I'm back in the UK and have a household to attend to. Until now we were at my parents' so I only had to deal with the baby. I know th problem wouldn't be so pronounced if N was a better napper so I can have time to get everything done but I feel like I spend all my time feeding him and trying to get him to sleep. I actually dread getting up in the morning but I'm better with nights because he sleeps better then.

 

[lliang_chi]

Hey mamas,

Just a quick drive by because I'm EXHAUSTED, but we got our camera this weekend, and today I took some test shots of Ethan. THought I'd share them