PS Mommy Thread-Newborn to 12 months!

[mayerling]

Rachel, I think N didn't really hold his head steady until at least 3 months. He could hold it up from much earlier but it would kind of bop around a bit until 3 months. He rolled over from front to back when he was 8 weeks old.

LC, I hear you on the sleep training. N's sleep was so crappy lately that we decided to give sleep training a go. More on that below.

Monnie and Steph, loving the baby pics!

AFU, like I said N's sleep was so bad that we decided to give sleep training a go. We weren't happy with pure CIO so we decided to do gradual withdrawal. After two nights, we decided we weren't happy with the fact that even gradual withdrawal basically involves the baby crying himself to sleep with no comfort from us so we decided to stop it, for the moment. Plus, DH seems to think that the training doesn't work because N ended up crying for 3 hours on and off the first night. I tried to tell him that sleep training takes many nights to work but it doesn't seem to register with him. Anyway, the good thing is that in the process we discovered that we can sing N to sleep. Until now, meaning for almost 5 months, we've been rocking him for every nap - and holding him while he naps - and every sleep. So we've decided that this is a big improvement for the moment and we're going to be content with it until we decide we want to make a change again. Also, for the past two nights that we've sung him to sleep, he did a 5-hour first stretch which he hadn't done in ages - lately the first stretch barely lasted 3 hours.

 

[blondebunny]

Hi everyone! Hope everyone had a great holiday! Everyones babies are soooo stinking cute!

Things have just been so busy lately. I ended up get masistis... So not fun.. And then yesterday i got another plugged duct..So ive been feeling crappy again But other than that, Ive really just been trying to focus on Chase and get into a somewhat routine around the house so I dont feel so disheveled. Chase is really such a chill baby. He really only cries when he wants his diaper changed..which really its not even a cry just acts restless and annoyed or if I am taking too long to get him into the bed to feed him. He does get bored really quickly which makes him restless/annoyed so we bought him an activity mat so I am hoping that will help him. He has started sleeping longer stretches at night...He seems to be going 4-5 hours between feedings at night time, which is nice for me because Im actually getting some sleep once I get him back down (although sometimes it takes an hour and a half to get him back to sleep). Over the past week and a half he has really started being able to control his head! He picks it up and holds it up and moves it from one shoulder to the other (on us) and turns it sideways..Only thing is he likes to headbutt me when he does it haha so I have some cuts in my mouth from him hitting me.

He had his 1 month checkup on Wednesday.. He was 5lb7oz and 18.5" when born and now it is 8lb9oz and 20.5"!! We were so thrilled with his weight and height gain! He's starting to outgrow his newborn clothes in length... He is starting to fill out though...

We ended up in the ER last night with him though... Yesterday afternoon I felt him and he was very warm so I made hubby so his temp (rectal) and it was 100.8... After discussing what we should do .. hubby wanted to just go get tylenol and give it to him, I wanted to call his Pediatrician and I ended up winning lol His pediatrician told us to bring him in to the ER since he was so young and it was high. Turns out he just had a viral fever, but they did a full work up on him.. He got a catheter so they could check his urine, blood work done..which they left the IV in him incase he needed antibiotics and a chest xray.. Of course I HAD to leave the room because I couldnt watch it all. But apparently everyone was very shocked at how chill/calm of a baby he was.. he didnt cry at all.. Of course half the things we were telling them he was doing, he wasnt doing once we got to the hospital haha and he was just being chill.. Way to make us look like liars lol Oh but he was up to 9lbs at the hospital which means he is putting weight on like a champ!

Im am still pumping to feed him. I was going to retry breastfeeding but then I got masistis and the lady told me not to breastfeed i think because i had a rash too.. so I am not sure if I am going to try to re-introduce breastfeeding or just keep doing what we are doing, which seems to work well for us because hubby loves to be able to feed Chase and it gives me a nice relaxing break..Plus he would never be able to fully empty my breasts so I feel like Id have to pump anyways since I get about 7-14ozs per pumping session..I already have about 750oz frozen!

OH and we went to cloth diapering full time at about 3 weeks or so??? We were trying to gradually get into it with him, but he was getting horrible diaper rash and as soon as we put cloth on him the rash would clear up in literally 2 diapers.. and then one night I put a disposable on him and he cried for 30 mins (totally unlike him) until i was like hmm maybe he wants a cloth diaper.. put him in a cloth diaper and he was so happy and content.. and that was it lol we were like guess we arent putting him in disposables anymore! Hubby and I absolutely LOVE cloth diapers.. its only 1 load of laundry every other day or 3rd day if we want.. I thought I was going to hate prefolds but I love them, they are pretty easy.. hubby gets kind of frustrated with them so he tends to grab a fitted and put that on him with a cover...

We got Chase's newborn photos back and I <3 them! Ill have to post a few more the last pic is one of them Im going to try to keep up more now with everyone.. I just needed a break from everything and just focus on him.

 

[blondebunny]

ok that last pic was the wrong one haha guess you'll get more pics of him now then

 

[PilsnPinkysMom]

Rachel: I use donor milk for my little E. She's had milk from SIX different mamas, two of which donate to her on a regular basis. The first time I used donor milk the mom sent me her paperwork from the milk bank (to which she also donates) as evidence of her being disease-free. Since then, I haven't requested test results, blood work, etc. I trust that these mamas are feeding their own babies with this milk, and that they're doing this out of the kindness of their hearts. There's no profit motive, as they donate for free... so, why harm another person's baby?

Someone could use a silly chain of logic of, "Well, what if her spouse cheats and contracts HIV, which he passes along to her, which she passes along to your baby?!?!?! THE HORROR!" It's silly. The same thing could happen to any one of us with our own spouses, but the fact remains it's HIGHLY unlikely.

Thanks to my donor mamas, I've been able to stop stressing about my supply (as much) and to supplement as necessary. It really improved our BFing relationship. When we had to supplement with formula I didn't feel as great. Donor milk works for us. It may not be the right choice for everyone, which is fine, but I'm glad you're giving it a try! How wonderful you've found a long-term donor!

 

[monkeyprincess]

BB, glad to hear things are going so well for you, other than the mastisis stuff of course. Chase is absolutely darling.

Mayerling, I have a crummy sleeper, and I worry it is not going to get better anytime soon. Seems like my little guy might be a challenge.

Rachel, sounds like you are doung really well. Man, I am jealous of you who describe your babies as happy and easygoing!

LC, your E is so super cute. He is getting so grown up!

Monarch, cute picture!

Newjewels, thanks for the advice. We have a hand me down swing that is sort of clunky, and E doesnt like it very much. He will be okay for a little bit and then freak. We are a bit paranoid about having him sleep anywhere but his pack n play or crib, where we have the angelcare monitor installed, unless we are awake to watch him. That is why we are sleeping in shifts. I have the DVD, and try the methods to soothe him. The pacifier works, he doesn't like to have his arms swaddled, but we do it from chest down. I am just so frustrated!

Has anyone heard of the term high needs baby? I am pretty convinced I have one. Over the past week he has gotten increasingly fussy and needy. I read somewhere that fussiness peaks at 6-8 weeks in a lot of babies, but I am not holding my breath that he will suddenly be easygoing. So I am trying to accept this and just learn to deal with the fact that I am going to have to be patient. He just needs constant contact, and even that is not enough sometimes. I just feel drained. But I do love the brief moments when I get smiles, coos and giggles, and I can tell he is going to be so fun when he better learms to cope with the world. I just hope it is not something we are doing wrong that makes him so discontent. Sorry for the vent.

 

[PilsnPinkysMom]

Hi, mama! Sorry I've been a bad PS-er lately. Still struggling with the balance of work and mommy-life.

All is well with us! E is just such a joy... my goodness. Our lives are so enriched because of her! We love being parents! Of course, there are rough days, and she is FAR from sleeping through the night... but her smiles make up for the 4AM wake ups

She's squealing, smiling, and laughing up a storm these days. She's rolling from front-to-back and is THISCLOSE to a back-to-front roll. She's also scooching all over the place on her back. We call it her upside-down crawl. She'll be 4 months old on the 5th and is 25th percentile across the board. 13lbs, 24 inches long. Breastfeeding has gotten better- on the weekends I only supplement with about four ounces a day. It's a bit more during the work week because I don't get to pump enough for her at work. She loves to "stand" and bounce around- she's already tiring of being on her back and tummy. Uh oh. I suspect she'll be a REALLY active baby.

We're starting table food this month if she's interested... Our pedi suggested BLW so that she gets some nutrition from food and I might be able to be her main milk source, not that I've minded using donor milk. It has been a huge blessing for us!

Hope to catch up more in the coming weeks, but I read often and think of you ladies all the time!

 

[blondebunny]

MP-I'm sorry you are having such a hard time.. Your first posts could have been written by me.. Word for word.. And then one night.. I just sat there and thought to myself about how I could change my attitude and maybe it'd helped baby...I was constantly frustrated.. Feeling like I wasn't bonding with him which broke my heart even more.. I felt like I couldn't figure out why he was so fussy and crabby.. And then add that as soon as hubby picked him up he'd calm down or fall asleep.. It was hard... Really made me think I wasn't cut out to be a mom I was having a really hard time.. Which was why I took the time to just focus on Chase and build our relationship and really learn his needs.. I prayed to god to give me the strength, energy, and patience with Chase... Since then things have really started getting better.. I don't let myself get frustrated when he gets crabby and after a few days he started being less crabby.. I was learning when he'd fuss when he wants his diaper changed and when he was just bored.. I was surprised at how often the kid was just bored! So I try to lay with him.. H loves peekaboo and we put him in his swing and put the mobile and music on and he loves it! We also started giving him gripe water at every bottle between 5pm and 7am to help him since that was when he seem the crabbest and had gas bubbles.. Oh and we got him th swaddle sacks instead of the blankets... He is not such a fan of the swaddling at first but he's getting used to it and it helps keep him from starting himself awake..we also have a white noise machine that I think REALLY helped him get to sleep when he was being fussy... My hubby and I are weird and would google anytime something was up with the baby and found that a lot of people said the white noise helps with the fussiness...

I really hope things start getting easier for you...hugs!

 

[lliang_chi]

MP, I'm sorry you're feeling stressed with your E. Believe me you're not doing anything wrong. Babies *DO* get more fussy @ 6-8 wks, then it breaks. I think it's because they're more aware of their surroundings and still don't know how to handle it all. Keep the faith! And not everyone has easy breezy babies. I'd say Ethan was a predictable baby, not necessarily easy. And his predictability was good and bad: I was able to anticipate he needed his diaper changed, or was hungry. But also that he's going to wake up X times or in X mins. And seriously it's trial and error when to change him, when to feed him etc. I'd highly suggest keeping a baby log (I used baby-connect.com), it helps you see the trends. Some things I did, changed him at least every 2 hours or if he pooped. Unless he was sleeping @ night, then it would be every 3-4 hrs tops (because he doesn't STTN). And try to find ways that he likes being put down. You already got a good one with figuring out how he likes being swaddled. Try to figure out what white noise he likes. Then put the sleep methods. Example, when Ethan was Ev's age, he would like shush-pat. Then he wanted swing/rock pat. When he got older, like 6 months, shush-pat didn't work so much, and he wanted to be bounced and pat, not so much shushing. Now he likes pat and singing (or maybe I just sing to try to calm myself down). Definitely stay calm, breathe slowly and stay relaxed. When Ethan was teeny like Ev, I would LITERALLY repeat, out loud in a calm voice, "You're OK, you're going to calm down, you're OK, you're going to calm down." It sounds stupid but it worked for me. I'd still do it while I was rocking/patting etc him. It's funny, my stylist (who's also my friend) said that she got this mellow vibe as she was cutting my hair.

PMP, E looks like such an angel. Can I just say I *love* her eyes! Aw, I'm so loving the cute little pink cloth diaper! I want the next baby to be a girl so I can buy all those cute frilly girly stuff. I'm really glad the donor milk is working for you. Like I told Rachel, I donated my milk, but didn't continue to have the same oversupply after the first month. I really think that hospital grade pumps worked better. Once I switched to just the Medela PiSA, I found I was getting less than the Symphony rental I had. I'm so glad to hear E's doing so well, and gaining and thriving. Hope the BLW goes well for you. JanineGirly's A also did baby lead weaning. She tried purees, but didn't like it too much. Some kiddos just really like the stuff Mom and Dad are eating.

AFU: Ethan's pulling himself up to standing, so much so we had to lower his mattress. I took off the breathable bumpers as well. He also knows how to fall back on his butt to sit down. He's pushing himself to a sit quite easily. Still not crawling properly though. Otherwise I was having such a bad weekend yesterday. J was so fussy and moody it was totally getting to me. Today I hung out with my sister all day, and I' feeling better now.

The sleep training is going OK. He's now waking once @ 11-something, put back down with no food, but with PU/PD and patting to sleep. Then he's sleeping through until his 4AM/5AM feeding. Last night he ate at 3AM, but mostly because he spat up all his dinner so I was pretty sure he was hungry sooner. Just now, E was coughing @ 1130PM, and I said out loud to J, "If he's not crying don't go in there." Of course J didn't listen, and I"m betting once Ethan saw Daddy, that's when he fussed. Oh well.

Sigh... not looking forward to goign to bed, I can already hear J snoring. Maybe I'll sleep in Ethan's room.

 

[monkeyprincess]

BB, you are right that having a positive attitude helps. I know there are days when I am tired and I get more stressed and anxious when I dont know how to soothe E. I really do feel like I have tried everything I can think of though. One thing that calms him is running water. He becomes an adorable cuddly guy when I stand with him in the bathroom by a running sink. He just goes into a trance. We have a CD with that sound, but that doesnt quite do it for him. We use a white noise machine by his pack n play, but that doesnt help his easy awakenings and extremely fidgety/restless sleep. Happy for you that you have found solutions that work for C. Sounds like you are doing an amazing job.

LC, thanks for the support. I keep telling myself this too shall pass. If I knew I would be home with him another couple months, I do not think I would be so stressed. I just hate that we have such little consistency day to day. Some days he wants to sleep all day and other days he fights sleep until crashing in the late afternoon. At nigt, he usually has one 2 or 3 hour stretch of sleep, but the rest of the night is cat naps, mostly in our arms.

I love this little boy dearly and feel so blessed to have a healthy, beautiful child. The good moments more than make up for the fussiness and frustration. But I just want my little guy to be content, and it heartbreaking for me that I don't know how to make him happy and that he spends so much of his awake time crying.

 

[monkeyprincess]

PPM, I forgot to add that your little E is so adorable. Who can resist a blue eyed blondie?

 

[amc80]

AMC, how's life pump-free? I've been pretty much pump free as well. I still nurse Ethan though, but my supply has gone way way down. THe downside is I'm up a 7 lbs, so I've been way more conscious of (trying) not to eat junk/sweets etc since I don't get those extra calories anymore. How's B doing? Any new teeth yet? Whoa, 3-4 kids?!? Bow down to you, mama!

I'm down to one pump before bed, where I maybe get 2oz. I've learned that the only reason I had a decent supply at all was because I was so diligent about pumping every 4 hours. Because as soon as I started cutting out sessions, my supply tanked. I could probably stop pumping all together, but I like knowing that B is still getting at least some BM, even if it's only a few oz a day.

No teeth yet, but I swear they are coming. Either that or I just have one drooly baby who insists on chewing on everything.

We will see about the 3-4. One at a time, one at a time.

When can we expect some development as far as holding head steady (she can hold her head really well but is still somewhat floppy and unsteady and hed-butts us on a regular basis LOL) and rolling over?
How old are most babies when they're ready to sit in a bumbo type seat?

B could hold his head pretty early on, but it didn't get really steady until after 3 months. Even now (4m this Saturday), he still wobbles every now and then. Rolling over- B has refused to do this because he HATES tummy time. But he finally rolled over this past weekend. I wish he'd realize that by rolling over, he wouldn't be on his tummy anymore.

B sat in a bumbo at 8 weeks, which was pretty early. He's still slump over every now and then so we'd have to watch him.

Plus he would never be able to fully empty my breasts so I feel like Id have to pump anyways since I get about 7-14ozs per pumping session..I already have about 750oz frozen!

That's a TON of milk!!

Has anyone heard of the term high needs baby? I am pretty convinced I have one. Over the past week he has gotten increasingly fussy and needy. I read somewhere that fussiness peaks at 6-8 weeks in a lot of babies, but I am not holding my breath that he will suddenly be easygoing.

It's true. B went from easy going, angel baby to I WANT TO EAT AND CRY ALLLLL THE TIME. Hang in there!

She's squealing, smiling, and laughing up a storm these days. She's rolling from front-to-back and is THISCLOSE to a back-to-front roll. She's also scooching all over the place on her back. We call it her upside-down crawl. She'll be 4 months old on the 5th and is 25th percentile across the board. 13lbs, 24 inches long.

Awesome! Be just rolled front to back for the first time (FINALLY). He does scoot around on his back, though. I haven't seen it, but he always wakes up perpendicular to the way I put him to sleep. So I know he's moving somehow! And what an itty bitty baby you've got! B's only 3 days behind and is around 17lbs and 26". I'd love to see them side by side!

AFU- I've got some great news. B has slept through the night for three nights in a row!! He's skipped his MOTN feeding and gone until 5ish. This morning he slept until 5:45! I thought I would feel all refreshed once this happened...nope, still tired! Ha.

B is getting SO strong. I can stand him up next to the ottoman and he can hold his weight, I just have to balance him. He's going to be a handful.

I had to box up the rest of his 3-6m clothes. He has some stuff he didn't even get a chance to wear. He's also outgrown his size 2 diapers and is now on to size 3. Crazy.

Question for you mamas- now that B is sleeping through the night, he seems hungrier during the day (makes sense since he used to have 5-10oz during the night). The problem is it's not like his stomach has gotten bigger over night. This means he's wanting to eat more often (or more at once) during the day, which causes him to spit up. But the poor little guy is hungry! So I'm not sure what to do here.

 

[Loves Vintage]

MP - Just wanted to jump in to extend some empathy to you, and to say that -- All babies are different! It sounds like you are getting to know your little guy, and yes, some babies are just tougher than others! It is not for lack of trying or knowledge or experience or anything under your control. He may indeed fall into the high needs baby category, and if so, I think it is awesome that you are figuring this out so early. Who knows - he may surprise you in time?!

Does baby-wearing help at all? I think you may have asked about this several pages ago. Anyway, there's a baby-wearer forum, where the posters are really really dedicated to baby-wearing. You might take a peek around there, or even seek out some advice from the moms there re: any wraps or ring slings, etc. etc. that might help your little guy stay close. Sounds like he is happier that way.

When do you go back to work? Are you doing daycare?

Anyway, really just wanted to pop in to tell you that you are doing a GREAT job, mama!!

 

[mayerling]

AMC, I envy you. N is a month older than B is nowhere near STTN.

 

[Kunzite]

MP - Huge hugs to you! Two of mine are/were high needs. Oliver started the trend and Elliot is finishing it with gusto! I remember feeling exactly the way you did when O was a baby. In fact, there are likely tons of posts in this very thread! It was so bad that I swore celibacy for awhile. No, seriously. No mistakes were happening on my watch as miserable as I was! People will tell you time and again about how it gets better, and you want to take it to heart but its hard to have that faith in the moment when all you want to do is cry (and cry I did!!)! But please listen to me when I say your day will come. I don't know when, but it will. Oliver was around the three month mark when we turned a corner and it just got better from there. These days you would never know we struggled the way I gush about that kid. I had actually forgotten how bad things really were until I was pregnant with the twins and went back to some of my old posts. Can you believe that? We'd gotten to such a good place that I FORGOT I had struggled so much. Now with Elliot I can handle it so much better. We're six months in (how did that happen?!) and he hasn't turned the corner yet. We struggle day and night with that kid but his crying doesn't get to me the same way. I finally realized that it's not because I'm doing anything differently and it's not because I have more patience (ha!). It's because I know without a doubt that this time will be over before I know it and I won't even remember it! I know that one day I'll be carrying on to someone about how amazing that little Elliot is and how much I love him and they'll go, "remember when he was a nightmare?" And it will take me a few minutes to realize what they're talking about. Because no, I won't remember! It's hard to say this too will pass if it never has! You're just left thinking, will it? Will it really?! I know it's our nature to look for a reason too. I mean surely something must be wrong! O's pedi was test happy and we left no stone unturned to find the source of his anger. In the end there wasn't one, it was just him! This time we just shrug our shoulders at E and tell him to be cool. Not really quite that nonchalant, but you get the idea. O tells him, "A cool bubba!" (<--- see! I can't even get through one post without grinning ear to ear thinking about something O has done!)

 

[dani13]

Hi Mp!!! Don't have a lot of time to talk, but do you have a white noise machine!!! If not, get one!!! I have a Marpac, purchased from Amazon, which we love! The baby always has it on when he sleeps. I think it really helps! Also, you should invest in a good swing. We have the Fisher Price My Little Snugabunny, which is great because it can be plugged in!!! L loves it, and sometimes it's the only thing that calms him down!!!

BB, glad you're doing great and Chase is beautiful. Just one word of advice.....stop pumping so much after you feed him. You have an oversupply issue with your milk, and that is just making it worse. Just pump enough to make the discomfort go away, then stop. Your body will the start adjusting to the amount the baby needs. If you keep pumping and pumping, your body will keep making more. It's supply and demand. Good luck!!!

Hi to all the other mamas!!!

 

[Buttons]

Hi ladies!

Monkey I have found doing the '5 S's' that Muff recommended to me has helped, although only in the last week since I saw a video from a UK morning chat show where the doctor who wrote about the technique demonstrates it. Google 'baby bliss Richard and Judy' and you should find it. I was doing it wrong before that! Also we didn't buy a white noise machine but I have a relaxation app on my phone that has all sorts of different noises on it - T seems to like the white noise one, running water, the hair dryer (much better than wearing out the motor on the actual hair dryer!), and the rainfall one. You must be exhausted, I can't imagine doing shifts to watch the baby sleep! Half the time I fall asleep while T is still nursing. Our problem is getting him to fall asleep happily for that first long sleep of the night, if only we had that sorted we would be golden. Hopefully we will work it out in time.

BB Chase is beautiful and sounds like you are taking to everything like a duck to water! We have been using cloth nappies on and off, just with the thrush we were advised to use disposables and then with the move and all the upheaval that entailed we weren't really in a position to keep on top of laundry. I have him back in cloth today though, hopefully it will go well for us.

Everyone else hello and hope you are all well! I still read every day but I've no WIFI and am wary of using up my data allowance on my phone, plus it is so hard to reply off the phone as I can't see all the past posts. But I am here!

===

As for us, the consultant paediatrician found a significant posterior tongue tie last Friday and snipped it. He thinks it unlikely it was missed at the first treatment so his view is that it reattached. He said the normal risk for that is 10% but given it has happened T once already his risk now is probably more like 50%. At the same time he said he isn't convinced of the effectiveness of the stretching exercises and that there is a risk of creating an oral aversion if they are overdone. So instead of doing them twice a day we are doing them every other day instead. BF is definitely less painful now and he is less distressed at the breast - I haven't seen the wild animal routine since he had the treatment, yay!

We are still trying to work out what his natural schedule is re naps and bedtime. He sleeps for four hour stretches at 1am and 4am, then for two hour stretches at 8am and 10am. Around noon he wants to eat/play/eat/play and if he falls asleep on the breast and I put him down asleep he wakes straight back up and cries. Eventually maybe around 4pm he'll go down for two hours. Then he wakes up around 6pm and from then until 1am he just won't sleep. We are doing bath, cuddles and feed between about 7pm and 8pm but he just won't stay asleep for longer than 10 minutes during that 6pm to 1am window. Does anyone have any advice? Do I just ride it out till he's 12 weeks and then see where we are (he's only 9 weeks now)? I'm also aware that both me and my mother are night owl type people so I am wondering if Mr T is just naturally the same. I thought all babies were really active in the mornings but that is when he's at his most docile and sleepy!

Also how much spitting up is normal for a BF baby? T spits up after every feed, with the volume becoming more significant as the day wears on (not sure if this is causing the evening wakefulness, or if the evening fretting causes wind which then causes spit up - bit of a chicken and egg question maybe). He doesn't usually seem distressed by the spit up although when he has wind that does really bother him (thankfully it usually comes up pretty quickly).

Any advice would be very much appreciated!

 

[monkeyprincess]

Thank you all for suggestions and support. Kunzite, your post in particular, made me feel better. I went back and looked at the posts on this thread from when you were dealing with O, and it was such a relief to see you and others were dealing with similar issues around E's age. Yesterday actually went much better. He had a few hours of being awake without being miserable. I so needed that. He melted down as the day wore on though, which seems pretty typical for babies. Hoping we can get a few good hours again today. He is still napping right now on his boppy lounger. Wish he would sleep like this in his bed.

LV, we just got an Ergo last week. Maybe it is just me, but I find the infant insert pretty awkward. I couldnt figure out how to get E in te carrier without being all slumped over. He did seem okay in there as long as I was moving around though. I go backto work when he is 12 weeks, and he will be in daycare. My SIL owns the daycare, so I feel much better knowing theys will all be taking extra special care of te owner's nephew.

Buttons, E has had spitting up issues too. We have found that we have to feed him smaller amounts more frequently and hold him upright for at least a half hour after each feeding. As a result, we always feed him with a bottle now, and make sure to limit him to 3 ounces max. He sometimes gets made when he is done, but if we give him more, it will just come up, so we give hima pacifier instead. He still spits up sometimes, but it is so much better now. I still think he has some reflux issues, which contribute to the problem.

Amc, yay for STTN. I cannot even imagine that happening ever again for us!

 

[lliang_chi]

Morning ladies!

MP, I'm so glad you had a great few hours with Ev. I'm hoping you'll get more of them as he's getting older. We have white noise running for Ethan when he sleeps too, and TBH I don't htink it does anything. But I keep it running because it's not hurting and who knows, maybe he'll develop a habit. Don't beat yourself up over going back to work too. If you can swing it, you can get a nanny and have her keep a routine/schedule for him. We couldn't swing it (VERY expensive in our city) so he's in daycare. Ethan eventually worked out his own routine wiht daycare and it'll of course always change as he grows and develops. I guess what I'm saying is, either way things are going to be OK in the end. It'll just take time to get there. Keep the faith.

AMC, yes, we're constantly packing up Ethan's clothes. His first batch I had J just donate it. This next one (6M) we're going to give to his friend who just had a son before Thanksgiving. What are you doing with your clothes? I told James we don't have space for them, so I want to just buy used clothes for the next kid.

Buttons, I'm glad that nursing is getting better for you and T. Hm, if T's already 9 wks, I'm not sure if it's day and night confusion. I'd suggest trying to play around with this night time routine. You said you do bath and bottle etc at 7PM. Try 6:30 or even 6PM. He'll likely get up once more (or you can dream feed) at 10 or so. That might bridge him till 1AM. He might be overtired and hard to put down at 7PM. It might seem a little counter-intuitive to put him down EARLIER, but at his young age, he'll be up at least twice to eat, so you DH can get some cuddle time with him. Maybe he can do the dream feed. It's when they're sleepy and snuggly and just sleep and eat. They're so cute. Re: the spit up, one of my friends had a daughter who was BF and also spit up. You'll have to keep him vertical. I think as he gets older he'll grow out of it.

The night after my last post Ethan woke up crying every 45 mins from 12M to 3AM. I finally had to let him sleep in my arms. It. was. awful. Then last night.... <angels hymn/heaven parts> Ethan slept through the WHOLE NIGHT!!!! I'm hoping to get more of this but we'll see. Woo hoo! I knew I had to come on the thread and share the good news

 

[amc80]

AMC, yes, we're constantly packing up Ethan's clothes. His first batch I had J just donate it. This next one (6M) we're going to give to his friend who just had a son before Thanksgiving. What are you doing with your clothes? I told James we don't have space for them, so I want to just buy used clothes for the next kid.


The night after my last post Ethan woke up crying every 45 mins from 12M to 3AM. I finally had to let him sleep in my arms. It. was. awful. Then last night.... <angels hymn/heaven parts> Ethan slept through the WHOLE NIGHT!!!! I'm hoping to get more of this but we'll see. Woo hoo! I knew I had to come on the thread and share the good news

Boxing them up and saving them for PNK (potential next kid). I will say the thought of another kid no longer makes me want to suck my thumb and rock in a corner. So that's progress. Congrats on the sleep! B did 3 nights in a row where he basically slept through the night...but last night woke up to eat at 3:45.

 

[pavelover]

Hi everyone, I don't really "belong" here but am expecting twins so I guess I'll be here soon enough. I just wanted to say all the babies are adorable and stellar job to all the mommies!

MP I won't bore you with a lot of details about my son but trust me I feel he was in the high needs category. He had some hospital stuff that I feel contributed to that but I don't know for sure what was the true cause. I'm talking like even to change his diaper he would have a major freak out to the point where I didn't like to change him in front of people because they were like what the heck is wrong with that kid. At about 3 months of age, my friend went to the store with me and I walked around and shopped while she held my screaming baby. Some lady said "there's something wrong with that baby", and like Kunzite said, there was nothing. He was just super sensitive I guess? He did have reflux and I think meds helped that but didn't stop the fussing, crying and just needing me so darn much. Also TERRIBLE sleeper. He cried in the car the entire time like a 10 on 0-10 scale. I said I wouldnt give you details, I lied, lol.
What Kunzite says is true. Its a stage, and it does go away, thank God!!!!!
Is E big enough to skip newborn insert? My son loved the sling, your carrier, the swing, the bouncer, anything with movement. He slept in a swing I can't even remember how long (like a year old maybe) all night. I was desperate and if I didn't do the swing he woke up all the time like you are describing. He still woke to eat but at least would have chunks of sleep in the swing.
Try another swing (you can return if you don't like, no?) if you can purchase one. We had that fp one that had two directions of swinging to choose from- maybe he would like the other direction. If he sleeps in the bouncer can you just let him and sleep next to him?
I mostly just wanted to send you huge cyber hugs because I totally remember (I didn't forget quite as much as Kunzite, lol) and I know it's really stressful. I'm not going to tell you to relax but I will say that I have started to wonder how much my stress level factored into making my guy more cranky? No blame, its just something to think about. I'm determined to do it differently the next time around haha. God, do you hear me? Easy babies, please!!!!
Mp post whenever you need to we are here to support you.

 

[JGator]

MP, I find the Ergo infant insert awkward too. We have used it 3 times. She cried the first time and then stopped after about 5 mins, was fine the 2nd time, and cried the whole time the 3rd time I tried it. Many hugs to you.

AFM, K is 5 weeks old now - she has her first cold. Thanks to everyone for your advice on the bottles and slow flow nipples. I started feeding K pumped breast milk in the Dr. Browns bottles and saw an LC at the hospital this week who suggested the Playtex nurser bottles as they are more similar to the breast so we are trying those now. The LC also suggested More Milk Plus supplements to increase my supply - she said the Mothers Milk tea doesn't increase your milk supply. I am able to pump between 30 - 75 ml and once got 105 ml , but that was after a few hours of sleep. I am still not sure if she is getting enough when she breast feeds and will likely make a private LC appointment next week. She gets a couple of bottles of formula (60-75 ml) and a couple of bottles of breast milk per day plus whatever she gets directly from me in her 1 hour breast feeding sessions to get 20 mins on each side. She eats between 8-10 times/day.

I am beginning to wonder if K has colic. She has evening episodes where she cries - wants to eat more, but she has already eaten recently. She's inconsolable for an hour or two. A steamy shower seems to help sometimes - and walking around with her on her stomach across my arm. We just survived one episode - she's in her bouncy chair now wide awake but at least not crying anymore. I think it's definitely gas pains. She also often seems to have gas pains frequently while I am breast feeding her - she cries and curls up/pulls her head back, legs, knees, arms swaying all over but is fiercely latched on to my breast! Often, this is followed by gas sounds/diaper deposits. I am really hoping it's not colic! She's 5 weeks now so we'll see.

 

[PilsnPinkysMom]

I am hesitant to post, but don't know what else to do... and don't want to talk to family about this and subject my husband to their judgment. Ugh. In this instance, criticism from internet strangers is better.

So, we are sleep deprived. Not a big surprise. But since having Eloise, my husband's disrupted sleep has resulted in bizarre sleepy behaviors. I have a hard time waking him in the middle of the nigh when I need help with the baby. One time he took forever preparing a bottle, because he woke up and started cracking eggs in the kitchen. Another time I asked him to turn off our bedroom fan, and he stood up, laid back down, and fell back asleep nearly FIVE times before actually getting up... And once he was up, he just wandered like a zombie around the room. I was literally shouting, "TURN OFF THE FAN!" In a particularly bad episode, he fell asleep rocking Eloise and she tumbled out of his arms onto the bed (thank goodness) and he didn't wake up to her crying.

Tonight, a little while ago, I woke up to Eloise crying. It was out of our room, where she usually sleeps, so I figured DH was walking around with her trying to get her to dose off. She has croup right now, so her sleep has been really out of sorts. Anyway... crying continues, continues, continues until finally I thought, "He needs some help." Follow her voice to her nursery... and there she is... in a laundry basket of cloth diapers. I scoop her up and think, "He must be in the bathroom and set her here for a second?" and frantically walk around the house trying to find him, calling his name... Finally, I peek back in our dark room and there he is- sound asleep IN OUR BED. I frantically wake him up and he has no idea what's going on- no recollection of how she ended up in a laundry basket.

She is alive and okay, but, oh my gosh, she could have died. She could have died. When I found her her face was smooshed- she could have suffocated. My sleeping husband put our baby, swaddled, in a laundry basket of cloth diapers. She could have died while I was laying asleep in bed.

All I can think is that I can't leave them alone. Ever. And I can't trust him to care for her in the middle of the night. Ever. And my heart is breaking because he is a wonderful, wonderful father and loves E so, so much... but he cannot function without sleep, or in the middle of the night, and more than once now it has resulted in our baby being put in harm's way.

He's supposed to take off of work tomorrow to care for her (bc of the croup), but I don't want to leave them here alone. Neither of us have slept well for days, and I know he'll need to nap at some point- and it terrifies me. Even if he puts her some place safe to sleep, what if something happens WHILE he's sleeping? She wakes up and cries, he tends to her in a half-awake state, and puts her in an unsafe situation?

I know he feels terrible and is so confused and bewildered right now... And I am too. I don't know what to do... and I am so, so thankful my baby is alive and okay It is terrible to have these feelings about my own husband, but I have to put Eloise's safety first.. and I don't know if I'm overreacting or if I'm in the right to feel this way.

 

[stephbolt]

Oh so many hugs to you PPM. I can't imagine how scary that must have been and I'm so glad sweet E is ok. I think it is normal for men to not wake up as easily when baby is crying, I know my DH just doesn't hear her crying ever, so I have to wake him up if it's his turn. But I think some of your husband's middle of the night behaviors go beyond that with him being totally unaware of what he is doing or doing strange things, and in light of that I totally understand your worry. Not sure what advice to offer but you're not overreacting, and your husband isn't a bad parent for being the way he is.

 

[Loves Vintage]

PPM - Is your DH on any medications? No need to respond with specific s on that, but it does sound like something more than just lack of sleep. My sister is on a host of medications for a chronic condition, and SHE does things like this. She actually sleeps quite a lot, but sometimes, she will get up in the middle of the night and will do odd things around the house of which she later has no recollection. In any case, even if he is not on any meds, I do think a dr's visit is in order. It really sounds like something else is going on . . . perhaps compounded by the lack of sleep?

 

[amc80]

PPM- Wow, not every sure what to say. I think your feelings are totally justified. I'd be freaking out too. DH is impossible to wake up, and he never hears the baby cry. But your problem is way beyond that. Honestly, I'd probably talk to a doctor or sleep therapist or something.

 

[lliang_chi]

PPM, okay firstly breathe mama. Hugs and breathe. You're okay, E's OK. I'm not saying this to trivialize what's going on, but you need to center yourself for your own health, to care for E and to be able to talk to your husband about this. Then get some help. Your parents/in-laws, hire a night nurse, a neighbor, a friend, SOMEONE. Even if it's for a week or just 3-4 days. You guys need some help. You said you don't want to talk to family/friends about this, so hiring someone might be best. If you can't afford it, just tell friends/family that you're hitting a wall, and you and your husband just really need another set of hands. Finally, have your husband talk to his doctor. Tell your DH this is NOT okay and it's needs to get addressed immediately. Breathe mama. E's ok, E's ok. And your DH will talk to someone to get help. LV mentioned a good point about medications. But the fact that you guys aren't getting enough sleep is definitely making things worse. You might be able to talk to your pedi about getting a night nurse as a prescription for E's health.

 

[NewEnglandLady]

PPM, I just want to tell you that I'm so sorry and second LC in reassuring you that E is okay and it's time to breathe. I also agree that at this point another set of hands is necessary. You absolutely can't do this 100% by yourself with as little sleep as you're getting. And even though it is absolutely not your husband's fault, and I have no doubt he's a wonderful husband and father, your husband can't be trusted right now. Is hiring a night nurse an option at all for you? A friend of mine hired one short-term and the nurse stayed in the guest bedroom. My heart really goes out to you. I know how it feels to make a mistake and have the thought "my baby could have just died". It literally leaves you shaking for hours/days. But E is okay and the rest can be figured out.

 

[JGator]

PPM, I think you should definitely get a night nurse to care for the baby for a while so both you and your husband can get some rest. Hugs to you and I am so happy E is okay. I wake up in the middle of the night and keep thinking K is the pillow I hug in the bed and I panic until I realize she's safely in her pack n play.

 

[monkeyprincess]

Oh PPM, I am so sorry. If I could not count on DH when I am sleeping or away from home, I wouldn't be able to cope. Big hugs. I agree with the others that you really need to find reliable help. I know how hard it is to admit you need help, but sometimes you just have to do it. I also agree that your DH needs to get checked out. How much sleep is he getting? I know some people need more sleep than others, but that does not sound like normal sleep deprivation behavior. I really hope you can find a way for both of you to get some sleep. I know I was getting really anxious and depressed before DH and Ifound a way for each of us to get at least 4 or 5 hours of sleep a night.

 

[monkeyprincess]

Pave, thanks so much for your post. Everett is having another miserable day, so it helped hearing about your experiences. It is reassuring to me that you still decided to have another baby (Twins!) after all that. Right now, I feel really trapped because he is so unpredictable, so I can never make plans too far in advance. I sent a lnk for a new swing to DH, so hopefully he will give me the ok to order it. Not that
I need his permission, but I have already spent so much money on products to help E, and most have not worked.... Hope yoyr pregnancy is goung well!

JGator, I hope you aren't dealing with colic. E started fussing around 2 to 3 weeks, and it has gotten progressively worse. I am not sure if it is colic or what. Anyway, hoping K goes easy on you! Glad the bottles are working for you. We also use the playtex nursers.

Lc, yay for STTN. He did it once so he can do it again! I am pretty sure we won't get that anytime soon, considering that we can barely get an hour or two out of him these days.

AFU, I will spare you my usual venting about my unhappy baby other than to say it is a good thing E is so adorable. Seriously though, I keep reminding myself that we will eventually get through this phase, and I am so blessed to have him after longing for him for so long. Maybe he is this way to teach me something and help me grow. We all deal with something, so I am trying not to be jealous of others' more laid back babies and enjoy him for who he is. He can't help how he is acting. I put a call in with the doctor to see if they have any suggestions based on his symptoms. Ha, if only there were a magical cure.