Mara
Super_Ideal_Rock
- Joined
- Oct 30, 2002
- Messages
- 31,003
My ex-husband used to say this ALL THE TIME. The problem was...I thought he was just kidding!What''s yours is mine and what''s mine is mine!
MZ, I love that one.Date: 3/15/2006 11:40:16 AM
Author: movie zombie
Widget, each of those quotes used to be my signature at one time or another. pricescope is the only place i can stick to one....people complain when i don''t put something new as a tag at the end of my [yahoo] e-mail that i send. currently it reads:
''My kind of loyalty was loyalty to one''s country, not to its
institutions or its office-holders.'' --Mark Twain
OMG FK!!! DH were lauging so hard, we cried!Date: 3/15/2006 2:10:21 AM
Author: ForteKitty
For everyone who has ever had an evaluation - or given one, just remember, it could have been worse.
These are actual quotes taken from Federal Government employee performance evaluations:
1. ''Since my last report, this employee has reached rock-bottom and has started to dig.''
2. ''I would not allow this employee to breed.''
3. ''This employee is really not so much of a has-been, but more of a definite won''t be.''
4. ''Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap.''
5. ''When she opens her mouth, it seems that it is only to change feet.''
6. ''The wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead''
7. ''This young lady has delusions of adequacy.''
8. ''He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.''
9. ''This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.''
10. ''This employee should go far, and the sooner he starts, the better.''
11. ''Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thingy to hold it all together.''
12. ''A gross ignoramus -- 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus.''
13. ''He doesn''t have ulcers, but he''s a carrier.''
14. ''I would like to go hunting with him sometime.''
15. ''He''s been working with glue too much.''
16. ''He would argue with a signpost.''
17. ''He brings a lot of joy whenever he leaves the room.''
18. ''When his IQ reaches 50, he should sell.''
19. ''If you see two people talking and one looks bored, he''s the other''
20. ''A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on.''
21. ''A prime candidate for natural de-selection.''
22. ''Donated his brain to science before he was done using it.''
23. ''Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn''t coming.''
24. ''He''s got two brains cells, one is lost and the other is out looking for it.''
25. ''If he were any more stupid, he''d have to be watered twice a week.''
26. ''If you give him a penny for his thoughts, you''d get change.''
27. ''If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean.''
29. ''One neuron short of a synapse.''
30. ''Some drink from the fountain of knowledge; he only gargled.''
31. ''Takes him 2 hours to watch ''60-minutes''.''
32. ''This person is a total pain in the j-as-per ''