Question for brides re: declining an invitation

[Jas12]

i don''t think it is weird that she invited you--you guys seem to ''talk'' often (more than some of my BM''s and I did in the months leading up to the wedding!) so she may feel close to you. Of course, we don''t know your relationship with her--. I would not go if you feel awk, but otherwise, your reason for not wanting to go sounds a little strange (sorry) b/c it''s her wedding, with her ''rules'' so to speak and she obviously invited you for a reason

to answer your question, i didn''t take it personally when people rsvp''d ''no''--i was more sad that i didn''t get to celebrate with them, but totally understanding of the reasons they couldn''t make it (travel, health, distance etc.)

 

[baby monster]

Date: 8/4/2007 11:33:42 AM
Author: Independent Gal
I second getting them something from their REGISTRY. My greatest fear is people spending their hard earned money on stuff that we don''t need, want, or like that will just take up precious closet space in our tiny condo. I would so much rather not get a present than get something ''for the sake of it''. So, if you don''t know specifically what she might like, choose something off the registry, or make a donation to charity in their name or something. That would be my advice.

There is no registry. The way weddings are done here is the guests are expected to bring a nice cash gift in the envelope.

 

[surfgirl]

Just because she invited you doesn''t mean you have to get her a gift. Invite doesn''t equal present, IMO. In fact, I was invited last year to a distant cousin''s wedding. I have not seen this guy since he was about 8 years old. We have no contact and I dont have contact with his parents. I declined the invitation and I sent a congratulations card. I think that''s enough. If you''re not really friends with this woman, and it doesn''t sound like you are, then dont go, dont get a gift, and just send a nice sincere card. I know people who have invited us to their baby''s "first bday party" and we
haven''t seen them in years. One cant help but wonder if you''re simply a "potential gift" and therefore, the invite. I''m not saying this is your case, but I seriously wouldn''t sweat this at all.

 

[ChargerGrrl]

Date: 8/4/2007 5:00:55 PM
Author: surfgirl
Just because she invited you doesn''t mean you have to get her a gift. Invite doesn''t equal present, IMO. In fact, I was invited last year to a distant cousin''s wedding. I have not seen this guy since he was about 8 years old. We have no contact and I dont have contact with his parents. I declined the invitation and I sent a congratulations card. I think that''s enough. If you''re not really friends with this woman, and it doesn''t sound like you are, then dont go, dont get a gift, and just send a nice sincere card. I know people who have invited us to their baby''s ''first bday party'' and we
haven''t seen them in years. One cant help but wonder if you''re simply a ''potential gift'' and therefore, the invite. I''m not saying this is your case, but I seriously wouldn''t sweat this at all.

i''m with surfgirl on this one. i''m sure miss manners would be horrified, but i see no reason why you should send a gift for what i would call an "acquaintance invitation". i got one of these invites last year from a gal at my company who works in another office thousands of miles away. did she really think i was going to attend? please! i sent a nice card and called it a day.

in regards to your original question, i too wouldn''t sweat declining the invitation or even analyzing why it was sent.