Question for colored stone peeps... How do you stop?!

[Dee*Jay]

I think I've created a monster!!!

I've got a white diamond and a yellow diamond that I really love (not that I'd be opposed to more of either to be fair!). And now that I've got Big Blue and The Green Goddess I on her way back from GIA (with no real desire for a ruby as I don't think it would look good on me or that I would ever wear it) I've ticked my major boxes. Buttttt... I've stumbled into the land of the "inexpensive other" stones. Like the grey spinel I ordered over the weekend. And then I was "just browsing around" and found about a ZILLION other stones that I somehow put into settings in my own mind and seriously thought about buying (but I managed to wrestle myself away from my American Express card before I actually did it!).

So legit question: How do you stop?! Now that I'm on this train it's barreling toward a very colorful station at top speed!

Intervention request!

 

[icy_jade]

1. By thinking about how much it costs to set those inexpensive stones, multiplied by how many stones that are unset...

2. By taking finger shots with all your rings and realizing that you don’t have enough fingers to wear them all...

 

[missy]

What does that word “stop” mean?

 

[Cerulean]

@Dee*Jay if you find out - let me know!

In all seriousness, the setting costs have deterred me from going hog wild. But...check back in, oh, in a few years to see how I am going.

I have 5 unset stones. I won't buy any more until I am done setting them, or at least 2-3 of them. Or...so I say...

 

[peacechick]

I think most of us don’t want to stop... but here is a serious answer for anyone who needs to. I definitely don’t have the budget for big flawless stones. I pride myself on subsisting on my “beer budget” and fortunately for me, I also prefer delicate rings and the <2 ct gems. No matter how ”champagne“ my taste becomes, my funds can’t stretch that much.

When I find myself desiring to acquire rarer, bigger, better gems that are outside of my comfort zone, I do a hard shutdown and step away. I switch to one of my other hobbies to fixate on. So I was away for about two years, during which I did shop and buy some pretty pieces but nothing expensive, and i did not browse stones or come to PS. It really does help.

Also, I realized that having many loose unset stones really bug me. So I won’t buy a stone unless I plan to set it.

 

[marymm]

If you really want to stop, then I suggest that you stop looking at CS and stop reading about CS ... and take out your jewelry box and glory in your treasures

 

[dk168]

Running out of funds would put a stop of CS purchases!

However, I still have quite a few to set, just waiting for funds to be available.

DK

 

[Mreader]

I don't have much good advice to give; all I can say is I feel you. Also I want to know what "green goddess" is esp after seeing "big blue" and how amazing she is. I have thrown myself into multiple projects lately mainly because I have finally decided to recycle some existing pieces. Because I am not a sane person (evidently) I want to do it all NOW. I literally have three projects in the works with Dan M now after getting one back (that makes 4 total), I have DK setting my stone in a new setting, a gem to put in my old setting (so add 2), I got Chippy over xmas, and after all that I still have at least two more stones to set in rings as well as some loose topaz that I want to make earrings out of. Not rational but I don't have the patience to eek it out over years especially since some of the pieces I want to recycle have been sitting in a box unworn. I have a new cc that has no interest until 2022 lol. Hello, I'm MReader and I'm a bling-a-holic. "Hi MReader."

 

[Dee*Jay]

I am so lucky to have all of you to commiserate! The problem isn't money (and I know how very very lucky I am to be able to say that!), it's some sort of reality check / common sense light that goes on over my head as I'm about to hit the "buy it now" button! I do think I'll be able to rein myself in after The Grey Goose arrives. And you all are right about the settings being $$$, especially in comparison to the stone itself (in the case of these less expensive ones).

IcyJade, I could never fit all of my CURRENT rings on BOTH hands... and yet...

Missy, the dictionary on my desk must be defective because there's nothing in there for "stop"!

Cerulean, the vision on having a bunch of unset stones sitting around waiting to be set is one I could easily feel coming on. But I don't have a lot of patience, so I'm not sure how long I could hold out with something unset before I did something about it. Oy.

PeaceChick, my "problem" is I'm a "purist." Oh, and I want BIG BIG BIG. I didn't pull the trigger on any other sapphire for years (aside from the dark heated one I bought many ages ago, but I didn't know a good gemstone from a pebble at that point) until this 8.59 unheated one came along. And I only wanted an unoiled emerald. Let me correct that: A BIG unoiled emerald. So that kept my wallet in my pants for many years just out of lack of finding one (until now).

Marymm, I think you're right about stepping away from the CS forum... but I love reveling in everyone else's projects, and offering any meager help I can (rare as that occurs!).

DK, I admire your patience! I was off looking at setting ideas before I ever even bought the stone, let alone the idea of having stones here waiting for me to set them!

"Hi MReader"!!! I think you and I might be sisters separated at birth. The Green Goddess is my 5.36 ct unoiled emerald, which is on it's way back from GIA right now (hopefully back late this week). I'll post a pic from my phone (easier than doing it from the computer). She's a beaut!

 

[Dee*Jay]

 

[Laurainthesky]

Maybe making a CS and setting allowance for yourself? Add such and such per month to a little account devoted to this. I plan on doing this after my current projects are completed.

 

[Mrs_Strizzle]

@Laurainthesky I do exactly that. It's nice because then I can impulsively pull the trigger on something when it pops up (especially pre loved jewelry) and I don't feel guilty about not talking to hubby first . I mean, sometimes there's just no time for that!

 

[T L]

I used to buy gems like an alcoholic buys liquor. There was a time when many of my favorite gems were very affordable and I obtained quite a bit over two decades. It was really hard not to stop because of that. However, I am now setting what I have so I can enjoy them, and I realize I won’t live forever, so my collection is not truly mine.

Elizabeth Taylor once said something akin to the fact that she is just a temporary custodian of her gems and jewelry collection. As much as she adored her jewels, the bulk of it belongs to various others now. That will eventually happen to all of our collections, unless you’re the royal family, so I know that no matter how much I want something, it will never truly be mine forever. That kind of bugs me, plus having kids about to go off to college makes you realize you have to get your financial priorities straight!

 

[Mreader]

WOW! So beautiful! I'm waiting on an emerald too (though much lower budget) so I guess we are sisters separated . Also you are so clever with names "Grey Goose" - love it!!

 

[blingbae]

I’m going to try hiding all of the vendors I follow on IG. Hopefully that helps Will report back! In the meantime stay strong!

 

[lilmosun]

I used to buy gems like an alcoholic buys liquor. There was a time when many of my favorite gems were very affordable and I obtained quite a bit over two decades. It was really hard not to stop because of that. However, I am now setting what I have so I can enjoy them, and I realize I won’t live forever, so my collection is not truly mine.

Elizabeth Taylor once said something akin to the fact that she is just a temporary custodian of her gems and jewelry collection. As much as she adored her jewels, the bulk of it belongs to various others now. That will eventually happen to all of our collections, unless you’re the royal family, so I know that no matter how much I want something, it will never truly be mine forever. That kind of bugs me, plus having kids about to go off to college makes you realize you have to get your financial priorities straight!

If I had a collection like yours, I could stop

 

[T L]

If I had a collection like yours, I could stop

Oh no you couldn’t! I could buy every lilac spinel on planet earth. Lol!

Thank you for the kind words.

 

[AnastasiaBeaverhausen]

Can't stop, won't stop!

 

[kenny]

Why stop?
Why set everything?

Just fill up your bank's safe deposit box with loose stones.
Even the smallest box can house millions of $$$$$, especially FCDs with top color.

When that box fills up, just get a bigger box.

 

[peacechick]

Gorgeous Green Goddess and so sparkly! Actually I think that as long as budget is not an issue, being a purist is a good thing and will naturally limit your collection. You will not be attracted by the 90% of gems out there that are too small, treated, flawed or otherwise imperfect.

I personally think once you have your “cornerstones”—the fabulous sapphire, the fabulous emerald, the jedi spinel etc, you will slow down. Any new emerald has to be comparable to Green Goddess, any new blue sapphire has to be really distinct from Big Blue and so on.

 

[qubitasaurus]

Actually it gets a lot easier with time, generally you can spot grey in something very quickly after a while. This tends to stop you lusting over most things -- except maybe spinels and paraiba (floursecent stones tend to be a long term issue, as they always pop in the sun and people often take pics under sunlight as they know this. It's hard to look away.). You keep searching for the ones which have no grey, but these are few and far between.... so you dont want to buy everything any longer.

Also I think you can only scroll instagram so many times, before you begin to realize different pictures look different. And its not just photography style, its often the colours of someone's fingers or something white in the background which grabs your attention. At this stage you stop wanting a bunch of IG stones too, even though you still enjoy the pictures. IG is particularly easy to see this in, as the photos on your feed are all lined up under each other. You'll eventually be scrolling it while you're shockingly tired, not really looking at the stones and things in the background/changes between photos will begin to leap off the feed. After you see it, it is hard to unsee it. Mmmm lol if you have a more balanced lifestyle and use IG for something other than coloured stones, this may be harder to pick up.

 

[chrono]

Like @qubitasaurus I became pickier over time and these days the stuff I want is priced out to the stratosphere, which puts a damper on buying gems. I don't think I've bought any gems the past few years because everything I like costs at least $10K and I cannot justify enough "wear time" for the cost.

 

[Dee*Jay]

Laura, I wish I had the fortitude to stick to a budget… but alas… !!! I do however have the ability to say to myself “that’s too much” and walk away from something.

TL, you hit on an interesting point. I have no children and my only niece is just entering kindergarten so I don’t know if she’ll be bitten by the bling bug. At some point I need to make a play for these gems…

Mreader, you probably saw in the other thread the 5.09 Ilya has, which is also unheated, but a bit lighter –and OH SO CLEAN! That one was less expensive due to the lighter color. He also got a 2.18 (if I’m remembering correctly) that’s under $2K and is on its way back from GIA with mine. Just sayin'.

Emegumi, IG is the devil! I “save” it for the end of the night and do a sweep: David Klass, Parks Fine Group, Premier Gemstones, Bijoux Box, Ivy and Rose. And then I go to sleep and dreaaaaaammmmm.

Lilmoson, YOUR collection is lovely too! Don’t sell yourself short!

Anastasia, ha! This is starting to feel like my mantra too!

Kenny, “We’re gonna need a bigger BOX.” The new PS T-shirt slogan.

PeaceChick, you’re right, I do pass on A LOT of options just because I’m stupidly picky. As for my Jedi spinel… NOPE. The seller messaged me that “it must have been sold offline and they forgot to take the listing down” and they offered me something that was a carat smaller and had a window. I’m taking that as a sign from the universe!

Qubitaraurus, that’s an important point about the different background tones, skin colors, etc. I find in taking pictures of my own stuff that is a challenge. In one photo my hand will be pink as a boiled shrimp and in the last it will look as pale as paper. Same hand – I swear!

Chrono, don’t get me started on “wear time”… Right now NOTHING I own makes its way out of the box more than once every few months. Although as I type this (in jeans and a ratty sweater with nowhere to go today but the post office to ship some glasses) I am wearing my 8+ ct sapphire on one hand and my 3+ ct yellow diamond on the other. Ha!

 

[MissyBeaucoup]

I started my colored stone journey wanting a rainbow of stones—as in ROYGBIV, which equals 7. It turned out to be LOL, because apparently one needs multiple blue sapphires in different shades, and of course, multiple pinks and pink-purples in sapphires, garnets, spinels, tourmalines...

After a while, it has gotten easier for me because I have collected stones I like. So I ask myself, “But would that be too similar to my purple JuliaB?” I could buy every little pretty stone, but the cost of settings is hard to accept, especially with gold being so high. I decided it IS okay to have a little collection of pretty stones I’m unlikely to set, but that I enjoy looking at like a mineral collector.

Also, I started collecting camellias. They are a lot cheaper.

 

[Diamond Girl 21]

Don't ask me. I totally need therapy.

 

[missy]

Don't ask me. I totally need therapy.

No you don’t. Bling *is* therapy. Good for our soul.

 

[Diamond Girl 21]

No you don’t. Bling *is* therapy. Good for our soul.

Thanks Missy! I love the positive spin. Honestly, my jewelry and gems give me great pleasure, even when I'm not wearing them.❤

Not sure what that grid is at the top.

 

[MakingTheGrade]

I just traded in buying CS for buying pearls...does that count?

 

[icy_jade]

I just traded in buying CS for buying pearls...does that count?

I did the reverse

 

[LilAlex]

This thread resonated. My biggest limiter is having things not meet expectations. It's such a hassle to return and it's stressful waiting for the confirmation for a bigger-ticket item. So I am constantly ping-ponging between "Ooh pretty!" and "Never again!"

It is so much worse during the pandemic when net-worth and free time for the well-off have both skyrocketed. Mortals can not compete in this market. In 2009 -- a true crash that also clobbered the rich -- it was fun to hunt for some "bargains."

I have no other interests that are as maddening as this one.