Raising Cain or raising kids...?

[Mara]

I don't know...it's amazing..my mother was a single parent and she still was a great mom even without that dream husband.

I think a support system in general is very important, she had my grandmother to help her out and that was crucial...but I definitely don't think it needs to be a husband or the father...if it doesn't turn out that way. Obviously lots of single mothers make a very good go of it all on their own and raise productive and happy children...somehow it's possible.

 

[pqcollectibles]

True, Mara, very true. Having both parents is nice, but not absolutely necessary. Especially when there are other great role models in childrens' lives.

We were corporate gypsies that moved far from home. We haven't had family to count on. Our neighbors where we lived in Indiana were a retired couple. They became surrogate grandparents for our kids. We've lived here several years now and have established a network of friends for support. But I still miss having family nearby.

 

[Nicrez]

I was lucky enough to have my maternal grandmother live with us when my mom was pregnant with me, and she is STILL living with my parents.




I always say I had two mommies. My grandmother was the stay at home mom who was kind and patient and spoiling me with warm cookies and fresh bread when I came home from school. She didn't speak English, so she didn't help with homework, but also my sibling and I were her life, and we still are.




My mother helped my dad run his business, but his office was about 1/2 hour away and they did the usual 9-5 work, sometimes on weekends, but then we'd help pitch in...To some extent I was raised in a sort of extended family, and my paternal grandfather and his family came to live near us by my early years as well. Close enough to vacation with and spend all vacations and holidays with, even random weekends. My paternal uncle and aunt were at most 6-7 years older, so we all sort of grew up together, like a big sort of family. What we didn't learn from our parents, we taught each other. It was a heck of a way to grow up, never lonely and I have to say that I never needed to look further than my own family to have someone to go somewhere with or do things with...almost like a traveling circus!




That's rare nowadays to find in-laws living with their children and their families...just curious is anyone else had that experience and what that was like?

 

[MichelleCarmen]

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On 3/12/2004 1:25:27 AM Mara wrote:


I don't know...it's amazing..my mother was a single parent and she still was a great mom even without that dream husband.

I think a support system in general is very important, she had my grandmother to help her out and that was crucial...but I definitely don't think it needs to be a husband or the father...if it doesn't turn out that way. Obviously lots of single mothers make a very good go of it all on their own and raise productive and happy children...somehow it's possible.

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Ooooh, I agree. I guess since my mom and my family are both not around, it's my husband that I depend upon so greatly, so for me, without my husband I'd be lost! I guess the better way to put this would have been it's important to have a close trustworthy person who you can call on ANY time for a break or just to help out around the house. Highly reliable family/friend support, IMO, is fundemental!


Michelle

 

[AGBF]

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On 3/12/2004 10:59:25 AM Nicrez wrote:


"I was lucky enough to have my maternal grandmother live with us when my mom was pregnant with me, and she is STILL living with my parents.


I always say I had two mommies. My grandmother was the stay at home mom who was kind and patient and spoiling me with warm cookies and fresh bread when I came home from school. She didn't speak English, so she didn't help with homework, but also my sibling and I were her life, and we still are.

...

That's rare nowadays to find in-laws living with their children and their families...just curious is anyone else had that experience and what that was like?"


My daughter has been brought up in circumstances similar to those in which you were, Nicrez. Although my daughter is my parents' third grandchild, she is the only one who lives close to them. My husband and I have never lived farther than a mile and a half from my parents since our daughter was born. My daughter has seen my parents every day of her life unless we took a week's vacation or one of them was hospitalized (and even during some of their hospitalizations she has seen them). Both my parents adore my daughter and would say she is the most important thing in their lives, bar none. After I pick her up at school and she changes at home, she goes to my parents' house to do her homework. My parents have, working as a team, made a smorgasbord with which to welcome her. There table will have fruit salad, tuna salad or rolled slices of chicken breast with mustad, fresh strawberries, pasta...and who knows what else. Everything will be set out in its own dish so that she can pick and choose from among her favorite foods. My parents take her to CVS for lip gloss or hair brushes (which she doesn't need) because she lives for thoise things. They love her and she loves them. You know the saying about why grandparents and grandchildren get along so well,...because they have a common enemy? That's me!!!