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My lovely girl died 7 weeks ago today, and shortly after, our breed society was asking for contributions to the Christmas newsletter, so I wrote a little article and submitted.
The newsletter arrived today and they decided to include my article.
If anyone’s interested in reading it, here it is :
Life without a Spinone
For the fourth time, we are now without a dog. You tell yourself that maybe it’ll be easier next time, you’ve been through it before. It’s not. It’s just as devastating this time as it was last time, and the time before, and the time before that.
You know you had no choice, there was nothing that could be done, you had to stop their suffering, but it doesn’t bring you any comfort at all.
You know that time will lessen the pain, that you’ll be able to think of them without tears running down your face, but when it’s all too fresh and too raw, it doesn’t help.
Why do we put ourselves through it, why do we do it again and again? The answer is very simple, we do it because we need them in our lives as much as they need us. The joy they bring us far outweighs the pain and sorrow we feel when they’re gone.
Dottie was our first Spinone, and even more special because she came to us aged 2 1/2, a sad, frightened girl, very withdrawn, and yes, I’d even go so far as to say, depressed. She didn’t seek any attention from us, yet somehow she knew that she was home. She settled in immediately, we had no problems with her at all.
It took a lot of time for her eventually come out of her shell, slowly she came to realise that we weren’t going to let another dog bully her, that she could sleep without having one eye open, that she was safe.
She was only with us for 6 1/2 years, not long enough, but during that time, she opened up our life and introduced us to lots of new people and new things. We joined the SISS, we went to meetings, the annual BBQ, the Christmas parties. We drove down to West Wittering for the beach walks, and lunch in the pub afterwards. We went to 2 Spinfests, and took her on holiday to Cornwall, Suffolk and Sussex. She loved the sea, but stubbornly refused to swim, instead preferring to rush in and splash about in the waves. She chased seagulls with no hope of ever catching them.
Her sudden death has left us with a huge hole in our hearts and our lives. When you’re living it, you don’t realise that your life revolves around their routine, so what do we do now, how do we fill the time?
When we got the phone call telling us there was nothing that could be done, we got in the car and drove to the vets, our hearts breaking that this would be the last time we’d see our beautiful girl. It was raining, and there was a big rainbow in the sky.
You think you can’t go through this again, it’s just too hard, but you KNOW you will. When you feel ready, you put this pain to the back of your mind, you open up your heart and your lives again, because as soon as you see that face, those big eyes, they’ve got you.
For now, we wait. When the time is right, when there’s another rehome out there who needs us as much as we need them, we’ll be ready and willing to do it all over again.
The newsletter arrived today and they decided to include my article.
If anyone’s interested in reading it, here it is :
Life without a Spinone
For the fourth time, we are now without a dog. You tell yourself that maybe it’ll be easier next time, you’ve been through it before. It’s not. It’s just as devastating this time as it was last time, and the time before, and the time before that.
You know you had no choice, there was nothing that could be done, you had to stop their suffering, but it doesn’t bring you any comfort at all.
You know that time will lessen the pain, that you’ll be able to think of them without tears running down your face, but when it’s all too fresh and too raw, it doesn’t help.
Why do we put ourselves through it, why do we do it again and again? The answer is very simple, we do it because we need them in our lives as much as they need us. The joy they bring us far outweighs the pain and sorrow we feel when they’re gone.
Dottie was our first Spinone, and even more special because she came to us aged 2 1/2, a sad, frightened girl, very withdrawn, and yes, I’d even go so far as to say, depressed. She didn’t seek any attention from us, yet somehow she knew that she was home. She settled in immediately, we had no problems with her at all.
It took a lot of time for her eventually come out of her shell, slowly she came to realise that we weren’t going to let another dog bully her, that she could sleep without having one eye open, that she was safe.
She was only with us for 6 1/2 years, not long enough, but during that time, she opened up our life and introduced us to lots of new people and new things. We joined the SISS, we went to meetings, the annual BBQ, the Christmas parties. We drove down to West Wittering for the beach walks, and lunch in the pub afterwards. We went to 2 Spinfests, and took her on holiday to Cornwall, Suffolk and Sussex. She loved the sea, but stubbornly refused to swim, instead preferring to rush in and splash about in the waves. She chased seagulls with no hope of ever catching them.
Her sudden death has left us with a huge hole in our hearts and our lives. When you’re living it, you don’t realise that your life revolves around their routine, so what do we do now, how do we fill the time?
When we got the phone call telling us there was nothing that could be done, we got in the car and drove to the vets, our hearts breaking that this would be the last time we’d see our beautiful girl. It was raining, and there was a big rainbow in the sky.
You think you can’t go through this again, it’s just too hard, but you KNOW you will. When you feel ready, you put this pain to the back of your mind, you open up your heart and your lives again, because as soon as you see that face, those big eyes, they’ve got you.
For now, we wait. When the time is right, when there’s another rehome out there who needs us as much as we need them, we’ll be ready and willing to do it all over again.
MamaBee
Super_Ideal_Rock
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@Austina That was a beautiful tribute to your sweet Dottie..It made my eyes tear up too. I know the pain is so raw right now...but I also know you and Colin will open your hearts again to another Spinone..Dottie will always be with you in your heart. 
MamaBee
Super_Ideal_Rock
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My Bailey Bean watching me while I wait for my son’s bus. If I move to another room he follows me..He’s now 11 years old and has a little trouble getting up and down...It’s so scary to me because I love him so much..
Your home looks beautiful! Your pooch fits right in! Such a cutie.
MamaBee
Super_Ideal_Rock
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@Austina, this is such a touching tribute to your sweet girl. I know you are suffering and grieving so much. I am so sorry for your pain.
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My Bailey Bean watching me while I wait for my son’s bus. If I move to another room he follows me..He’s now 11 years old and has a little trouble getting up and down...It’s so scary to me because I love him so much..
Just beautiful Joanne. So inviting and warm and lovely. Please hug Bailey Bean from me and my furry crew. XOXO.
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Dear @Austina what a moving tribute to Dottie. It moved me to tears while and after reading it. I know the pain is indescribable. I know it's hard to catch one's breath thinking about her. My heart goes out to you and Colin and sending you warm loving hugs.
Dottie will forever remain in your heart close to you.
And one day you will be able to think of her with less pain and more happy memories and be able to take comfort in the fact you gave her a wonderful life filled with love and security and joy.
And one day we will all be reunited with our beloved furbabies. One day. (((HUGS))).
Dottie will forever remain in your heart close to you.
And one day you will be able to think of her with less pain and more happy memories and be able to take comfort in the fact you gave her a wonderful life filled with love and security and joy.
And one day we will all be reunited with our beloved furbabies. One day. (((HUGS))).
MamaBee
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Gang's all here! This is so rare that they are all together. There are three dogs here, the big black guy is somehow easy to miss.
Look at all the fur babies! I wanna lay in the middle and snuggle with them all
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Look at all the fur babies! I wanna lay in the middle and snuggle with them all
So funny story, when we were looking for a new sofa I told DH to get a sectional, then you will have a whole part for yourself and the dogs can be on the other part. Well now we have a sectional and the dogs all pile on top of him on one section leaving the whole other end empty!
They were all on their own here because he was sitting up working on the computer lol!
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@Austina, What a lovely moving tribute to sweet Dottie. I’m so sorry for you pain and loss.
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@Mamabean, I feel the same way about our furbaby Joanne and dread the emptiness we will feel when she is gone. They bring so much love and joy to our lives and have a magical way of making terribly difficult times bearable.
Daisys and Diamonds
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Daisys and Diamonds
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@Mamabean for some reason i can't reply to your post but what a beautiful sceen with Bailey the star of the room
love is indeed scary
there are so many factors we can't control
love is indeed scary
there are so many factors we can't control
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So true @Daisys and Diamonds. The fact we cannot control how long our loved ones are here with us might be the scariest thing of all. The unknown and the loss. Too much to bear at times yet bear it we must.
For some of us our furbabies are our children. Even if one has human children that doesn't take away from the love one has for their furbabies. I look at my parents as an example. They loved all their furry children with such intensity and passion for lack of a better word. When our first dog died I saw my dad cry for the very first time ever. They spent thousands on an experimental surgery to save him in 1974 but sadly it didn't work. But the money meant nothing to them despite the fact they were not rich or close to it. No, money meant nothing if they could give their little boy a second chance at life. It was heartbreaking losing him. That was our first furbaby.
I only share that to say losing a beloved family member whether it's a furry one or a non furry one is devastating and their is no right or wrong in how one feels about it or the length of time one mourns. I will always mourn for Francesca and my other beloved babies now long gone. The pain lessens with time but so far with Francesca's death the pain has not yet abated. I feel it intensely still every single day and multiple times a day. It's hard to believe I have any tears left yet I do.
@Austina @junebug17 and to everyone else who has ever lost a beloved furbaby my heart goes out to you and sending you gentle hugs and love across the miles. One day I hope we will be reunited with them at Rainbow Bridge and until that day I hope they are all together frolicking and playing with each other at RB.
MamaBee
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That’s true @Calliecake..I tell Bailey all the time that he is my therapy dog. When I’m upset he will come over and put his head between my knees for a head and neck scratch. He’ll let me hug and kiss him even though he’s not a snuggler. He follows me wherever I go..He even waits for me outside the bathroom...hahaha..Some people don’t like when their dogs do that but I love it.
Daisys and Diamonds
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MamaBee
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So true @Daisys and Diamonds. The fact we cannot control how long our loved ones are here with us might be the scariest thing of all. The unknown and the loss. Too much to bear at times yet bear it we must.
For some of us our furbabies are our children. Even if one has human children that doesn't take away from the love one has for their furbabies. I look at my parents as an example. They loved all their furry children with such intensity and passion for lack of a better word. When our first dog died I saw my dad cry for the very first time ever. They spent thousands on an experimental surgery to save him in 1974 but sadly it didn't work. But the money meant nothing to them despite the fact they were not rich or close to it. No, money meant nothing if they could give their little boy a second chance at life. It was heartbreaking losing him. That was our first furbaby.
I only share that to say losing a beloved family member whether it's a furry one or a non furry one is devastating and their is no right or wrong in how one feels about it or the length of time one mourns. I will always mourn for Francesca and my other beloved babies now long gone. The pain lessens with time but so far with Francesca's death the pain has not yet abated. I feel it intensely still every single day and multiple times a day. It's hard to believe I have any tears left yet I do.
@Austina @junebug17 and to everyone else who has ever lost a beloved furbaby my heart goes out to you and sending you gentle hugs and love across the miles. One day I hope we will be reunited with them at Rainbow Bridge and until that day I hope they are all together frolicking and playing with each other at RB.
I agree @missy I call Bailey my furry son. He’s old now so I’m trying to brace myself..but I know it’s not going to work. I waited too long with Gordie..not knowing he was ready before he died in front of me in my kitchen....That trauma will haunt me forever...I won’t let that happen to Bailey if it’s in my control...because I’m aware now...I love him too much...When his time comes I hope he will let me know.
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@Mamabean, Bailey sounds exactly like my furbaby. She follows me everywhere too. It’s one of my many favorite things about her. If I am upset she knows and doesn’t leave my side. She is so comforting.
MamaBee
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jaysonsmom
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Racking up another beach day (I promised it so I owed it to her)
![20191123_101415[1].jpg](https://www.pricescope.com/community/data/attachments/679/679497-35ec813f23771f28e51a60be1ee64283.jpg?hash=NeyBPyN3Hy "20191123_101415[1].jpg")
What a beautiful girl.
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Noah is keeping Daddy’s napping spot warm while dad is away on business. Love how he acts so “human”, and sleeps with his head on a pillow!
Aww Noah is precious.
And I love that too. Oliver pushes me off the pillow to make room for his whole body. That I don't love lol. Francesca used to delicately share the pillow with me and have her head on it next to mine. So sweet when they do that.
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