Really need some advice on my setting

[UkButterfly]

Hi All

I regularly browse these boards as they're so helpful so I've just signed up to see if any of you could give me some advice, words of comfort, I don't know!

I have a beautiful 0.90 carat stone which I love no problems with that, I just can't seem to get the setting right. This is my third from Blue Nile, it just came yesterday. Overall I like it, it's a nice band, I like the prongs but I feel like it's set really high. It's around 7-8mm from the base of my finger and where it's so skinny and tall to me it just looks silly. I'm reluctant to ask Blue Nile to lower it, I feel like they're getting fed up with me and looking at it I don't know whether they could lower it that much, I still think it might look tall and skinny.

Any opinions? Could they lower it and would it make a difference? Do you think it looks silly. I just want to be happy with my ring finally and stop worrying about it!

 

[Niel]

I'm not sure that setting could go much lower, but others could. A half bezel comes to mind.

 

[adorezy]

I also think this is the lowest it can go in this setting. If you want lower setting, try tension settings, and bezels. Prong settings tend to set the stone high to maximise light refection, but tension/bezels will be embracing the stone and set the stone lower.

 

[Heidibrooke]

I think it looks perfect, but I like higher settings because I want to see what I paid for... They may be able to go a little lower, maybe like a mm lower.

 

[D&T]

I don't think you can lower your "v" type prong much more, here are two examples that can set your diamonds into the setting lower, a type of "doughnut" at the bottom and possible trellis. The doughnut sometimes gives a little gap between ring and wedding band, some love the look and others don't like that wee space. 2nd picture courtesy of WF
Can you not just buy the diamond loose? and find a setting elsewhere?

 

[junebug17]

I think what's adding to your perception of it being too high is the fact the prongs start at the base of the band - here is a terrible pic of what I'm trying to say - I blurred out the prongs at the bottom and it doesn't look as high to me.

I"m not sure it can be lowered any more. If you're really unhappy with the look I'd give it another shot with BN - or maybe you could just buy the diamond and use a local jeweler, it's a simple style of setting - you should be happy with the look of your ring!

 

[UkButterfly]

Thank you for this, this is why I came to pricescope! my problem I guess is that I love the look of this ring and how Blue Nile show it on their stock photo and if it looked exactly like that I'd be so happy. It's just come out too tall and skinny for my taste. I feel reluctant to ask them to change it again because they've changed my setting three times now. I think they must be getting annoyed with me! Maybe I am too fussy. I'm not even sure if they can make it look more like the stock photo. I understand the stone size will effect how the ring looks. I think I might just have to try and get used to it as I like everything else about the ring

 

[UkButterfly]

Yes absolutely I think you're right and your alteration to my picture does make a difference. I don't know if anything can be done to the ring to change this aspect of it. I guess this can be the problem of buying online, the pictures aren't quite the same as the reality. I glad someone understands what I mean.

Thank you for all the other replies I've received too. I'd be very interested and appreciative to see pictures from other people with this setting to see if this is standard on them all or if it can vary from one BN jeweller to another. My ring was made in Ireland as I'm in the UK

 

[msop04]

Thank you for this, this is why I came to pricescope! my problem I guess is that I love the look of this ring and how Blue Nile show it on their stock photo and if it looked exactly like that I'd be so happy. It's just come out too tall and skinny for my taste. I feel reluctant to ask them to change it again because they've changed my setting three times now. I think they must be getting annoyed with me! Maybe I am too fussy. I'm not even sure if they can make it look more like the stock photo. I understand the stone size will effect how the ring looks. I think I might just have to try and get used to it as I like everything else about the ring

I think you answered your own question, UkButterfly... a larger stone will widen the prongs, making it appear shorter. FWIW, I don't think it's too high at all. It looks proportional.

 

[UkButterfly]

Thank you. I think part of me disappointment is that I previously had the comfort fit four claw setting with the same stone in and that looked like this


The reason I changed to the classic four claw is because the prongs on the comfort sit stuck out at the base of the ring meaning no wedding band would sit flush. When I asked Blue Nile if they could adjust it they told me that it was the way that particular ring is made, all the claws protrude so I'd have the same problem.

The next closest setting is the classic four claw. I know that this is probably a slightly taller setting allowing a wedding band to sit flush but I've kept the same diamond so I was surprised that there was such a difference. I knew it might be a little taller than what I'd had previously but I just didn't expect it to be so much taller and narrower. I thought it would be more in between the two. I feel like I've gone from one extreme to the other and I guess I feel a bit frustrated as classic four claw settings are what I love so I'm wondering if I have to put up with a flaw one way or the other if that makes sense

 

[junebug17]

Ukbutterfly, FWIW I went back and looked at the pic and I really don't think the setting is too high - do you have a wedding band yet? I'm thinking a band next to the ring might influence how the solitaire looks, and you might like the overall look better. I'm sorry you're not loving your ring, I don't like to hear that!

Eta: One nice thing about a diamond being set a little higher is that it makes the stone "pop" and take center stage!

Could you post a few more pics? Would love to see more views of your diamond!

 

[UkButterfly]

Ukbutterfly, FWIW I went back and looked at the pic and I really don't think the setting is too high - do you have a wedding band yet? I'm thinking a band next to the ring might influence how the solitaire looks, and you might like the overall look better. I'm sorry you're not loving your ring, I don't like to hear that!

I do have a wedding band which makes a very slight difference but not a huge amount, I still feel like it sticks up really high. I'm driving myself crazy. I keep thinking it's only a simple solitaire I want why can't I find one I love. I feel like you understand! I think my friends aren't that bothered by rings but for some reason it's hugely important to me. I just want a ring I can love and admire, not look at and think this needs changing and that needs changing.

I may have to visit some jewellers around here and see what they say. Maybe I'll get used to it but I just feel like I should love it, not have to just get used to it

 

[UkButterfly]

Ukbutterfly, FWIW I went back and looked at the pic and I really don't think the setting is too high - do you have a wedding band yet? I'm thinking a band next to the ring might influence how the solitaire looks, and you might like the overall look better. I'm sorry you're not loving your ring, I don't like to hear that!

Eta: One nice thing about a diamond being set a little higher is that it makes the stone "pop" and take center stage!

Could you post a few more pics? Would love to see more views of your diamond!

Yep I'd love to share some pics. I don't have many yet as the new setting only came yesterday but I've got a few! Hold on one sec!

 

[UkButterfly]

Sorry these are the best pics I can find at the moment. It's a beautiful stone. We're not as clued up on diamonds here in England as you are in America but I did my research and used the HCA. My stone is a GIA Triple Ex F VS2. It's so sparkly sometimes I think it can't be real. I really do love it!

I don't think these pictures do it justice I have some better ones on my phone that I can't find right now, it's getting late here

 

[junebug17]

Ukbutterfly, FWIW I went back and looked at the pic and I really don't think the setting is too high - do you have a wedding band yet? I'm thinking a band next to the ring might influence how the solitaire looks, and you might like the overall look better. I'm sorry you're not loving your ring, I don't like to hear that!

I do have a wedding band which makes a very slight difference but not a huge amount, I still feel like it sticks up really high. I'm driving myself crazy. I keep thinking it's only a simple solitaire I want why can't I find one I love. I feel like you understand! I think my friends aren't that bothered by rings but for some reason it's hugely important to me. I just want a ring I can love and admire, not look at and think this needs changing and that needs changing.

I may have to visit some jewellers around here and see what they say. Maybe I'll get used to it but I just feel like I should love it, not have to just get used to it

Oh, believe me, I completely understand!! I totally get wanting to love everything about your ring, I feel the same way - and I would bet that most (if not all) people on PS do too - you've found a safe haven here and are in good company!

I think checking out a few jewelers is actually a good idea - who knows, maybe you'll find something you like and you can return the setting (if that's possible).

Do you think it would be worth it to contact BN and see if the stone could be lowered a little? I don't know, it might be possible. I know you're getting self-conscious, but try not to worry about that - you're the customer, and it can't hurt to ask!

Eta: Just saw your pics and oh my goodness your diamond is gorgeous, and your ring looks beautiful with the different stackers you have! Such a classic and elegant look, looks fab on your hand!

 

[UkButterfly]

Ukbutterfly, FWIW I went back and looked at the pic and I really don't think the setting is too high - do you have a wedding band yet? I'm thinking a band next to the ring might influence how the solitaire looks, and you might like the overall look better. I'm sorry you're not loving your ring, I don't like to hear that!

I do have a wedding band which makes a very slight difference but not a huge amount, I still feel like it sticks up really high. I'm driving myself crazy. I keep thinking it's only a simple solitaire I want why can't I find one I love. I feel like you understand! I think my friends aren't that bothered by rings but for some reason it's hugely important to me. I just want a ring I can love and admire, not look at and think this needs changing and that needs changing.

I may have to visit some jewellers around here and see what they say. Maybe I'll get used to it but I just feel like I should love it, not have to just get used to it

Oh, believe me, I completely understand!! I totally get wanting to love everything about your ring, I feel the same way - and I would bet that most (if not all) people on PS do too - you've found a safe haven here and are in good company!

I think checking out a few jewelers is actually a good idea - who knows, maybe you'll find something you like and you can return the setting (if that's possible).

Do you think it would be worth it to contact BN and see if the stone could be lowered a little? I don't know, it might be possible. I know you're getting self-conscious, but try not to worry about that - you're the customer, and it can't hurt to ask!

Eta: Just saw your pics and oh my goodness your diamond is gorgeous, and your ring looks beautiful with the different stackers you have! Such a classic and elegant look, looks fab on your hand!

Oh thank you you're so lovely I'm so glad I finally joined here this site was very helpful when I chose my diamond and I'm sure I got a good one. I knew this would be a good place to come for advice!

I suppose I could contact Blue Nile again, I know I'm the customer I just can't help feeling awkward which I know I shouldn't. I feel like the worst customer ever! I'm going to the jeweller who's making my wedding band on Saturday I might see if they can help. They're more of a high st jeweller though so you only meet the sales staff not the actual jeweller. I feel like we have a lot less options in England than America but I'm sure I'll find something. I'm just fed up of changing the setting, I really thought it would be ok this time. Maybe it'll grow on me!

 

[Polished]

classic four claw settings are what I love

You've identified what you love. I love the picture of your diamond in the four claw setting too.

so I'm wondering if I have to put up with a flaw one way or the other if that makes sense

It depends whether you see a wedding band not sitting flush as a flaw or not. There are people here on Pricescope who prefer the look of a gap between the engagement ring and wedding ring. They prefer the look of two separate rings rather than that the two rings could be one. I think your rings look gorgeous in the photos you've just added.

 

[Rena7]

I do think your ring looks gorgeous. You need to be happy with it though. Don't settle.

 

[Roxy]

Ukbutterfly, FWIW I went back and looked at the pic and I really don't think the setting is too high - do you have a wedding band yet? I'm thinking a band next to the ring might influence how the solitaire looks, and you might like the overall look better. I'm sorry you're not loving your ring, I don't like to hear that!

I do have a wedding band which makes a very slight difference but not a huge amount, I still feel like it sticks up really high. I'm driving myself crazy. I keep thinking it's only a simple solitaire I want why can't I find one I love. I feel like you understand! I think my friends aren't that bothered by rings but for some reason it's hugely important to me. I just want a ring I can love and admire, not look at and think this needs changing and that needs changing.

I may have to visit some jewellers around here and see what they say. Maybe I'll get used to it but I just feel like I should love it, not have to just get used to it

I absolutely understand how you feel Butterfly and you really SHOULD LOVE your ring! It's a great idea to check w/ your local jeweler & see what they say. I like the look of your ring w/ the band, but YOU need to be happy, so maybe they'll have some good ideas for you.

As pretty as I think your ring is (I agree w/ Junebug, its gorgeous), I don't think it's a good idea to stick with it in hopes of trying to "get used to it" because what you see as a "flaw" is going to bother you more and more over time. Everyone here at PS will tell you that you're going to spend a lot of time gazing at this ring and I'm afraid that if you don't get something you absolutely love, you'll fixate on the things that "need changing" (in your eyes) and won't enjoy admiring what really is a beautiful ring.

Let us know what you learn from your local jewelers and what BN says as well!

 

[UkButterfly]

I just want to thank all of you for your kind comments and helpful advice I really appreciate it. And to give you an update. I contacted Blue Nile and sent them a picture and they said that the stone can not be lowered any more than it already is. I think I'm starting to get used to it now, it was such a big change from my previous setting that was so low set.

My stone seems bigger and sparkler than before and I like the band on this setting more than on my old one. Mostly I'm happy that this ring will sit flush with a wedding band. As we are getting married in less than two months I have decided to keep this setting. My fiancé has agreed that should I want to reset in the future we can do that, I'm happy to do it as a birthday/Christmas present. I haven't found another setting anywhere that I really like so I expect I would have to go custom to get exactly what I want.

Thank you all again for your help

 

[Acinom]

Seems like a good decision at this point. I am glad that you got used to the look and that you love it more. I love your ring and set

 

[Laila619]

I don't think it looks too high. Glad you are keeping it, and congrats on your engagement and your beautiful ring!

 

[junebug17]

Great news! I'm so glad you're liking it better! Sounds like a big part of it was that you just needed a little time to get used to it Thanks for checking back in!

 

[UkButterfly]

Thank you all so kind I'm glad I joined this really is such a valuable site and everyone is so helpful. I'm sure I'll be back!

 

[distracts]

Your ring really is beautiful and your diamond is FANTASTIC. Maybe once you have been wearing it for a while you will figure out what exactly you want in a setting, or see the perfect one in a shop window somewhere! Until then, enjoy the beauty of this one, and enjoy the wonderful time leading up to your wedding, and early congratulations on that!

 

[derbygal]

For the record, I think your stone is lovely! I like the setting, too.