Really need some advice

[monarch64]

Date: 2/22/2010 5:15:13 PM
Author: jjc

Date: 2/22/2010 5:03:02 PM

Author: crasru

Do you know if your father has a permit to carry a gun? Or carries one?

He doesn''t but that can change so I''m considering getting one.


Also, please forgive me for not addressing each post individually, but please know that it helps tremendously being able to read clear expressions of all the thoughts swimming around in my head in a giant incoherent glob. Thank you.

Please don''t bother getting a gun. More harm than good would potentially be done. Your best bet is listening to everyone here, knowing that you have a safe place for you and your mom to go, and going there and staying there until immediate danger subsides.

This (PS) is a wonderful site for diamonds, etc. but it is also a spot for people from many different walks of life to inhabit. Do not divulge too much personal information here, unless you want to privately message the admins for help, in which case you can use the "message admin" selection when you are looking at a post while logged in. Best wishes to you.

 

[oddoneout]

First of all kudos for you for being strong and wanting to help your mom get out of her horrible situation. Have you got the police involved? Would they help? Also perhaps with all that is going on you don''t feel motivated and are maybe depressed and that''s why you aren''t feeling the same way about law school? Best of luck to you and I hope everyone is safe.

 

[Circe]

JJC, I''m so sorry you''re in this situation. I think everyone''s been correct in their points on separating the issues.

So, Point 1, how to handle your dad: definitely get the restraining order, and if the risk of physical danger is there, definitely arm yourself. I don''t know if a gun is best as an immediate solution, just because they do require considerable training to use right, and they can be a pain to get concealed carry permits for, depending on where you live. (All that said, I''m hoping to get one myself for a considerably lesser issue, so ... YMMV.) Maybe while you''re tackling all that, a mace-taser combo? That way, you have a distance weapon that''s good for ten feet, and something incapacitating close up if worst comes to worst.

Point 2, law school: Rainwood is so completely right on this, I don''t even have the words. I have a few friends who recently graduated with good grades from 2nd tier schools, and ... they''re going on their 2nd year of unemployment, and with law-school debt riding their shoulders to boot. A law degree is no longer the guarantee of a good career that it used to be (much like a Ph.D., come to think of it ... I wonder if this is true for medical degrees, too?), and I''d say it''s really only worth it if it''s something you enjoy so much it''s an end in itself. Is there any profession you really love? Could any of those creative pursuits you mention be coupled with a law degree?

It looks to me like the awfulness with/of your father is underscoring how much you don''t want to be in law school in your subconscious: I say, listen to your instincts on that. You deserve to be safe and happy in every way, including in your professional life.

 

[Lilac]

I haven''t read all the responses, but I''m sure I would echo what many have said. Circe put everything I would have said into words so I''ll ditto everything she said. I think you need to do your best to get a restraining order, even if it''s just to be able to have him arrested if he violates it and I think you should carry some form of protection to defend yourself in the event that he does try to get to you. Your mom should have protection also with her. I also think Circe was right about law school - you deserve to be happy and if you would just be continuing law school for the sake of finishing, it probably wouldn''t be worth it because if your grades aren''t great you likely wouldn''t get a job in this economy anyway. I think you should either put off law school until you can focus your attention on it and do well, or figure out what career WILL make you happy.

I am SO sorry you''re going through this difficult situation, jjc.

 

[katamari]

I am so very sorry to read that you are dealing with such a serious situation. I wish you the best in its resolve. I do not feel I have any helpful advice for your family situation, but for your career situation, I do think that if you are unable to find escape in your school work and/or if you do not enjoy it, you should pursue something else. It will likely be empowering to do something for yourself. However, I must caution that, when finding this, you consider the amount of loans you have from law school. Most creative fields are notoriously ill-paying and you don''t want to set yourself for a potentially lifelong spell of financial hardship.

 

[jjc]

Thank you so very much to everyone who took the time to post. I really appreciate it. I''ve been trying to write a longer response but it just keeps coming out as a jumbled mess. I just wanted to say thank you, from the bottom of my heart.

 

[Gayletmom]

JJC, I just wanted to let you know that you are in my thoughts and prayers.

The only advice that I have is to please do your best to focus on safety, safety, safety. I vote to go with your impulse to go into hiding, if that is an option, and focus on what to do about law school later. Protect yourself and your mother in whatever way you can and address the law school issue later when your head is clearer.

Sending hugs your way.

 

[jjc]

I just wanted to post a semi-update, and another thank you. I''ve decided to take a leave of absence from school, thanks in no small part to you wonderful and wise PSers. I''m going to focus on my mom''s and my safety, and more importantly, when I start to feel weary and angry at my dad, I''m going to focus on the fact that my mom will finally be FREE!!

Thanks again for all the well wishes

 

[KatyWI]

Glad to hear it, jjc.

I hope for your continued safety and happiness. Best of luck!

 

[luv2sparkle]

I am also very glad to hear that JJC. Much prayer for your safety and your mom''s and a happy life for you both. I hope this is just a small blip and many good things are ahead for you.