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allycat0303

allycat0303

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Nov 19, 2004
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3,450
Hey everyone,

I have a question (really basic) which might seem completely silly because I already have my diamond and it''''s set in a mounting.

Yesturday, my sister''''s boyfriend (who admittedly loves to make nasty put down comments), was looking at pictures of my ring (I don''''t have the ring yet though). And my sister remarked that the stone looked really big.

So her boyfriend said "It''''s obvious that''''s it a 0.70-0.75 stone that was cut to maximizes the diameter so it appears bigger then it actually is." Apprently, his jeweler had said that people will buy these diamonds a lot.

Now it''''s not a 0.75 stone, it''''s a 1.27 (but I kept my mouth shut because then he would have started on me about the color, or clarity) that Aldjewey picked out for me from Whiteflash. From what I understand from the tutorial, in some cases a very thin girdle (which my stone has) will maximize the spread. While I was searching for diamonds I did specify that I wanted a 7 mm spread, so maybe I''''m a bit guilty of trying to get the max size. When I saw the diamond, it was beautiful. Admittedly my boyfriend let me look at it for about 60 seconds before it put it away, so I didn''''t really get to see it under light conditions, etc.

Bascially what I am asking is that if a diamond has a nice ideal scope image, and good HCA score, will the fact that I tried to get a good spread for the diamond affect it''''s performace in other light conditions? Is there any way shape or form that a 0.75 diamond can be cut to have a 7 mm spread? (Cause I KNOW my sister''''s boyfriend is going to be saying this to practically anyone that says anything about my ring).

Thanks everyone!
 
7mm is bang on where you would want it for a nice stone with a medium girdle.
The guy has too little knowldge and no brain
 
Hi Garry,

Thanks so much for the quick response to put my mind at ease! I''m on pins and needles hoping that I can sneak this diamond past my future-brother-in-law''s without any nasty comments.

Thanks!
 
oh lord ally, you need to avoid sister''s bf like the plague. what a huge jerk!!! tell her to get rid of him
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it''s bad enough when random people are mean... but who needs FAMILY like that?!

you need to come up with a good snappy comeback and put him in his place. I would NEVER let my bf treat my family like that!
 

Alley,


Your diamond is fine. Your sister needs a new boyfriend. Ignoring the fact that he obviously doesn’t understand diamonds, which is actually a forgivable failing, he clearly has no clue how to treat prospective relatives and has dreadful manners to boot. He loves to make nasty put down comments? This is not a harmless hobby. This is a sign of a deeply disturbed individual.


Neil Beaty
GG(GIA) ISA NAJA
Independent Appraisals in Denver
 
I''m a total novice about diamonds, so I couldn''t comment on your question, but I will just say that don''t worry about what your sister''s rude boyfriend thinks! Shove your beautiful rock in his face and be proud! :)
 
Hey everyone,

Well the Future-brother-in law is an anal gossiper.

Yesturday he went on for half an hour about "this asian girl that got engaged to this white guy with a tacky 1.5 carat H diamond that was as yellow as pee."

Really scared me cause I''m an asian girl getting engaged to a white guy and my diamond is an H color (he doesn''t know that of course, although I''m really considering a little white lie).... unfortunately he''s buying my sister a D, IF so I''m pretty darn scared he''s going to do some major comparision. He''s already cornered my boyfriend 5 times to try and get my boyfriend to reveal the color, clarity, and PRICE that my boyfriend paid for my diamond. 5 times. My boyfriend told him all 5 times that he wasn''t comfortable talking about it.

So the thing is, my diamond is set in a Leon Merge setting with a halo so the side of the diamond is covered up. The H has flour, and I can''t see any yellow. I''m thinking of telling a little lie and saying it''s an F when he asks (cause ya know he''s going to, and frankly I don''t want him spreading it all over the asian community that my white boyfriend gave me a poopy diamond, cause he will.) I''m sorry, I''m human, and I care. I don''t want my boyfriend (or me to be embarassed). So is this totally, horribly wrong? I mean it''s only one lie, one time.

He''s already told me the following : "No one in their right mind would buy anything below a E"
"No one in their right mind would go below VVS1"

In all honesty, I don''t think he can tell the difference. I think it''s all just hot air. In any case, he''s 28 no job, living at his parents house, and buying my sister''s ring with his mother''s money. So I don''t need his approval, but I don''t want him spreading it around to all his friends, my parent''s friends, etc.

I swear he''s stressing me out. I don''t even have the ring yet, and I''m already anticipating his comments.

Thanks everyone.
 
First of all it''s a Leon Mege halo, and I''m sure you have seen how big this makes the diamond look, secondly your sister''s boyfriend is a moron. My stone is H with a little fluor. and faces up G I can''t detect any yellowness at all. Tell him it''s an F if you want too, he won''t know the difference. He clearly has no knowledge of diamonds and it should make you feel better just knowing that your stone and setting were chosen out of love and not trying to show off or one up someone else.
 
Oh Alleycat!
I feel so bad for ... uh ... YOUR SISTER. (Ok & you too!) What an a**hole. Its so funny that the people you know the LEAST about things tend to shout the LOUDEST. Comfort yourself with the knowledge that an entire diamond BB of people are behind you & would make choices more like yours, not his. If it were me: I''d come up with some "stop him in his tracks" lines. Maybe some can be suggested here? I''ll think on it as this guy has gotten on my last nerve & I don''t even KNOW him. (BTW: I picked an H color stone too: in a step cut that shows more color ...)
Deco
 
Someone needs to sit down your sister''s boyfriend and teach him a thing or two about behaving politely and diamonds.
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What a jerk. Sounds like your sister is going to have a problem on her hands if she marries this guy. I doubt his behavior will improve.

What is that saying. . .?

"It is better to be thought a fool, than to open your mouth and remove all doubt."
 

OK, this has been pissing me off all morning. It’s ridiculous that you should feel the need to compromise your own integrity and lie because of this guy’s poor manners. I say don’t do it. Try to duck the question but, if he keeps on pressing, tell him that you think it’s a terribly boorish question, that you are insulted that he presumes to judge the symbol of love presented by your own fiancée and that you hope that this is not indicative of the relationship you can expect as inlaws. Still don't answer the question. It’s nice that his mother has generously agreed to buy your sister a diamond and that she is allowing her son to help in the selection. Perhaps she's hoping that this will finally get him out of the house.


Neil Beaty
GG(GIA) ISA NAJA
Independent Appraisals in Denver
 
Can you buy them a subscription / gift card for a remedial communication course !?
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I would - at least that
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although very different things would come to mind first even for less acrimony.

Even if they were right I would not worry about such... incredible comments and even more incredible attitute. Since they are not, this will probably make the whole thing harder on you once the ring comes in and they''ll eventually see it.

Sorry to hear this nonsense had so much effect
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...
 
Hi Ally,

What a complete jerk! I''m curious to know how your sister thinks of her BF behaviour? Does she tells him to stop acting like an a**? Or does she laughs it off? If talking to him doesn''t work...how about speaking to your sister to tell him not to make idiotic comments like that?

I would tell him that it''s an F and that your setting was custom made from a highly respected designer!!!

I really can''t stand people like that!!!
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good luck and (hopefully) he grows up and acts his age,

Radiantlover
 
Ok no lying. I'd be terrified of getting caught anyhow. I figure once he gets his e-ring, and has done the usual "Mine is better then yours" He'll get over it. I swear he gets my goat. And of course, please no one take FBIL's opinions as my own. I personally think I could have gone down to J without any speck of color, and practically all sparklies are beautiful to me.

But really, FBIL is like this in every sense (sunglasses, where anyone got their education, cars, and even TOMATOES) so I don't know why I'm surprised. Sometimes though, his audacity gets to me.

Neil: Oh it drives me crazy too. From the very beginning of my boyfriend's diamond selection, the FBIL has been badgering him. FBIL said to just this morning," Well we'll know how much he loves you when I find out how much he paid for it." I nearly strangled him. My sister is a bit naive. She's also terrified of dying alone. Tell me how an absolutely beautiful, sweet, doctor-to-be ends up dying ALONE??? My parents, hate him, I hate him, but we don't want to upset my sister who has shown to be extremely emotional over any hints that she should get rid of the moron. She bound and determined to marry him, and it's just a very sad coincidence that as soon as my boyfriend looked at engagement rings, FBIL did too. I think it set up a very nasty dynamic.

Phew. I'm ok with this. FBIL comments had me doubting our choice of stones. I feel better. The stone is beautiful, the setting will be beautiful and despite his mean comments, FBIL will be green with envy and secretly wish he had such good taste (and the wonderful support of people on pricescope) to have picked such a beautifully cut diamond.

Thanks everyone
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Ally, as many others have said, this guy is a real jerk. His knowledge of diamonds sounds quite remedial. Maybe he's getting your sister a D, IF diamond, but is it ideal cut? If not, I wouldn't want it anywyay and would take your H with a good cut in a heartbeat. I wonder if HE is telling the truth about your sister's diamond. I wouldn't be surprised if he were the one lying. I don't think there's anything morally wrong with telling him your diamond is an F, but I wonder if it would be better to tell him straight away that you are not going to answer any questions about the quality or price of your diamond. His questions are coming out of insecurity, I suspect, and there is no reason for you to engage in a dialogue whose only purpose is to assuage his anxieties about not being good enough. Your ring will be gorgeous!!! I know it will knock the socks off of everyone who sees it. Really, I'm not just saying that. The diamond sounds great and Leon does amazing work. Can't wait to see pics!!!
 
Bless your heart alley, you are doing the right thing by being honest. I agree 100% with what Neil said. Personally I would be tempted to behave is harsh manner like pretending I am deaf when he speaks...but that is somewhat like dropping down to his level.
I do not think that the amount of money spent relates to the amount of love commitment and devotion your SO has for you. Personally I find that sort of statement disgusting. I am sorry that he said something so course and callous in your presence.
Normally I would say start badgering him about cut of the stone he is buying, but I would not want your sister to get hurt.
Not to be overly judgmental but it sounds like he is still in the mind set where if he puts others down he is building himself up. I remember your other thread about this boy and his attitude seems consistently inappropriate. Perhaps the real issue for him is that your BF behaves like an adult and takes care of the things he needs to rather then living off his parents.
I sincerely hope you sister and he BF seek counseling prior to marriage his mannerisms are concerning.
 
alleycat, i am sorry to hear that you have to contend with this situation. i think you can take comfort that what is visible to you is also visible to others. i know it would be difficult but maybe a smile would best answer his questions. he is dying to know i wouldn''t let him. banjo
 
I''m like Denverappraiser ... getting more & more steamed about this! I think you shouldn''t tell him a darn thing about your ring & ask that others don''t share any info with him as well. It will drive him CRAZY. He''s nothing without his ability to compare stats (as you mentioned: sunglasses, education etc). It''s funny that the things he values he buys with his parents money. Clearly it would be too painful for him to judge himself & others by: class, achievement, humility, compassion. Now that you mentioned your sister is a med student it makes me worry more for her: maybe he wants a free lifetime ride out of her, since that''s what he''s had from his family.

Words to live by: "consider the source"
 
seriously, tell your sister's boyfriend to step off. what an assclown. obviously a .75c diamond is not going to have a 7mm spread...maybe not ever in a scenario I could think of, a 1c diamond has a 6.5mm spread so even if it had a table of 75 and a depth of 40 then it still probably wouldnt have a 7mm spread with a .75c stone AND it would look like a big spready piece of poo.

there are ways to make diamonds look bigger than they are and sometimes cut does get compromised. my old stone was a 1.23c that had the spread of a 1.35 at the compromise of a shallow depth and larger table. in some lighting situations it just looked dead. my next stone was a 1.29 that had a slightly smaller diam but was cut precisely and i preferred it hands down. now as much as i love size, i won't compromise my cut again. i do look for slightly more shallow stones aka 60.5 depth and corresponding ideal table vs a 61.8 depth and corresponding ideal table because you can eke out a few more hundredths or tenths of a mm that way and why not get what you are paying for. but to me that's just smart shopping!!

i love it when people who know NOTHING about diamonds try to speak up. yesterday i was at my nail salon and the owner compllimented me on my pendant and then picked up my hand to see my rings. she ooh'd and ahh'd and mentioned how it was stunning in color, clarity and CUT (ooh don't hear that one much). i just nodded. then she goes to get her glasses, puts them on and comes back and inspects it some more. she said..if you don't mind how much did you pay. i told her ~ $8k and she goes..oh for a 1c? i said it's a 1.6. and she goes okay that makes more sense. like she thought maybe i had been taken for a ride. if only she knew!!! she's a real sweetie so i didn't say a thing. i usually don't even bother to say anything to people like this since what do I say? I'm a member of an ELITE online diamond forum (haha!!) where people come to do months and sometimes years of research before buying a stone or a ring? nahhh!! i just nod.
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last year this guy who thinks he knows about jewelry asked me if my stone was a 3/4c. it was a 1.29c at the time. i said no its a quarter and a carat. he nods, i wander off into crowd. i mean come on! obviously these people and your sisters' bf have NO CLUE so if they want to go on being deluded and making nasty comments fine. you know the truth and you shouldn't even give those comments a second thought other than as a funny story to tell people on PS in the future like me.
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Date: 9/11/2005 12:38:15 PM
Author: allycat0303

Ok no lying. I''d be terrified of getting caught anyhow. I figure once he gets his e-ring, and has done the usual ''Mine is better then yours'' He''ll get over it. I swear he gets my goat. And of course, please no one take FBIL''s opinions as my own. I personally think I could have gone down to J without any speck of color, and practically all sparklies are beautiful to me.

But really, FBIL is like this in every sense (sunglasses, where anyone got their education, cars, and even TOMATOES) so I don''t know why I''m surprised. Sometimes though, his audacity gets to me.

Neil: Oh it drives me crazy too. From the very beginning of my boyfriend''s diamond selection, the FBIL has been badgering him. FBIL said to just this morning,'' Well we''ll know how much he loves you when I find out how much he paid for it.'' I nearly strangled him. My sister is a bit naive. She''s also terrified of dying alone. Tell me how an absolutely beautiful, sweet, doctor-to-be ends up dying ALONE??? My parents, hate him, I hate him, but we don''t want to upset my sister who has shown to be extremely emotional over any hints that she should get rid of the moron. She bound and determined to marry him, and it''s just a very sad coincidence that as soon as my boyfriend looked at engagement rings, FBIL did too. I think it set up a very nasty dynamic.

Phew. I''m ok with this. FBIL comments had me doubting our choice of stones. I feel better. The stone is beautiful, the setting will be beautiful and despite his mean comments, FBIL will be green with envy and secretly wish he had such good taste (and the wonderful support of people on pricescope) to have picked such a beautifully cut diamond.

Thanks everyone
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Click to expand...
Smile and say, "Oh, I absolutely agree. How much did you say you were spending on my sister...of your own money?"

Shay
 
No offense, but your sister''s boyfriend sounds like a real doofas. Your ring sounds gorgeous! IMO jerks like that feel the need to purchase a D flawless diamond to make themselves feel better. What a tool.

P.S. Pricescopers...please note that I am NOT saying that only jerks buy D IF!!!!
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Decodelighted: I constantly surprised by how perceptive everyone is. My sister just found out 2 weeks ago that he lied to her for 3 years about having a job! Since he''s graduated (5 years ago from Mcgill...arguably best univeristy in Canada) he''s only had a job for 9 months. She was traumatized... but is still intent on marrying him.

I think (sister''s feelings or not) as Mara said, I need to tell him to stand down. I am going to politely say, "I really don''t think these questions are appropriate" although my boyfriend did say something to that effect "I''m not comfortable with these questions" and he hasn''t stopped. Maybe I''m being too subtle.

Mara: When we bought the stone, I didn''t (and still don''t) know enough about angles to know if I was compromising on cut for size. Aljdewey (thank goodness for her) found the diamond for me from WF and said that she thought it would be a beauty. The ideal scope and HCA looked good, + the H and flourescence , so my boyfriend bought it. But I didn''t do all of the steps that I should have like take it out in different light, etc. which is probably why Future-brother-in-laws comments are getting to me now.

http://www.whiteflash.com/round_ideal_cut/Round-Ideal-Cut-cut-diamond-1182545.htm#

John assured us that the twinning wisps couldn''t be seen and they aren''t. I thought it was beautiful, but 60 seconds isn''t enough time to really get to know a diamond
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Oh and FBIL just told me that clarity determines SPARKLE. Ok. I''m a rat
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. He said he''ll get lots of sparkle with the IF, I should say something, but he''s so mean, that I want to be mean.

Thanks everyone! I can''t wait to show off my ring to people who won''t have snarky comments
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Oh Shay. I love it. I love it. It''s too good. I''m going with that!
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you should agree with him when he says that IF means it will sparkle alot. he'll end up with a tiny D IF with a horrible cut most likely for the same price as your 1.27c!
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oh and by the way the stone you got should be amazing. i bet that med blue fluor sets it off in a way that a regular H SI would not have. i wouldn't tell anyone about the fluor and then whey see your diamond fluoresce you can tell them it's some sort of special perfect cut thing. LOL! 'oh you mean YOUR diamond doesn't have that?!' tsk tsk!
 
I think he''s worried that your ring and stone are going to totally blow his out of the water...so he''s trying to compensate in advance!

He sounds totally and completely threatened by you guys!!
 
Date: 9/11/2005 10:27:10 AM
Author: allycat0303

He''s already told me the following : ''No one in their right mind would buy anything below a E''
''No one in their right mind would go below VVS1''

In all honesty, I don''t think he can tell the difference. I think it''s all just hot air.
Click to expand...

Now you''ve got me furious... perhaps this guy doesn''t want to work if his family is well to do, but couldn''t they spend a bit to polish the guy''s very, very rough edges ?


It would probably take some effort from your part to show consistently how all this means nothing - at least as much as I can tell from my own experience, the absence of civilized communication does hurt a bit although the subject is meaningless. This time it may be worth putting some effort to treat the respective inquisitive comments as the buzz of a pesky mosquito: a shrug & wave should do. Since the guy seems eager to provide enough opportunity for practice, after the first two-three times, the exercise of carefully engineered dismissal and disdain should come effortlessly.

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As far as I understand, this guy would spend allot more than he (i.e. his parents) can effortlessly afford just to prove his ''worth''. So... forget it. It makes no sense. I just hope neither this guy, your sister, you or anyone else involved in this story keeps getting hurt for too long.
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ally-

I love Shay''s comments idea too! But I have to wonder if he would even get it... probably not.

I feel you for your sis and your family though. I hope she is able to see what a jerk he is before she is tied to him through marriage.
 
Date: 9/11/2005 12:16:29 PM
Author: denverappraiser

OK, this has been pissing me off all morning.
Click to expand...
Not morning ''cause of time zone but ... same here. I''ve been fuming towards the poor laptop having a hard time thinking of anything else.

Wish your sister good luck and quick awakening from my part... Can''t even imagine what to wish the guy that I would be confortable writing down even in private, let alone on a public forum
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I surely hope there is some better part of this story, otherwise it just sounds plain awful!
 
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