shape
carat
color
clarity

Really silly question

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this guy is totally playing mind games with you. first off you have to keep saying to yourself "why the f@%# should i care what he thinks?!"
then to keep him from bugging you i totally agree that you should have some comebacks prepared. give him NO info on your ring. if he brings it up just totally change the topic. if he talks about his ring just smile and nod. if you refuse to play this who''s better than who game then he won''t get any satisfaction from playing his mind games with you.
but more importantly you have to stop his actions from controlling you.
don''t give him the power to make you feel bad about yourself.
just my 2c
can''t wait to see your ring, it''s gonna be fabulous!

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allycat- I think it is pretty obvious that your FBIL has VERY, VERY insecure. He belittles everything except HIS choices and HIS lifestyle because of his low self-image. HOWEVER, this is very inappropriate. I have known people like this. I am surprised your sister puts up with it. I also know that it doesn''t matter WHY he is like this but it is horrible that he is part of your life!!!! I know it is easy for me to say not to let it bother you but that is the only way to deal with him. But you will be letting him win if you do. When he says one of his rude comments just remind herself that he is saying them b/c he is unhappy with himself not you. He sounds jealous. I would also suggest spending as little time with him as possible.
Now about more important things than your FBIL---your diamond! I think it sounds beautiful and there is a BIGGGG difference between a .70 ct than a 1.27. He knows this and so does everyone else. Be sure to post pics when he proposes. We want details!!!
 
I feel sorry for your sister!!

I was engaged once to one of those types. Why all the negarivity!!

I''m sure your stone is gorgeous!!
 
Date: 9/11/2005 11:03:48 AM
Author: denverappraiser

This is a cry for help. Your sister needs therapy to help with her taste in men. On behalf of white guys everywhere, I apologize for this louts behavior.



Neil Beaty

GG(GIA) ISA NAJA

Independent Appraisals in Denver


Hee-hee. Denver Appraiser, you are cracking me up.

Allycat- this dude is such a wanker. Just ignore him. From one Asian girl married to a white dude to another.

Have you had a talk with your sister about what a prick her future husband is? Guys like him never get better. In fact they tend to get worse as they age.

You are going to be sporting a Leon Mege, for the love of mike!- you have nothing, NOTHING to worry/be embarassed/feel like you have to justify.
 
Ally, this fellow sounds as if he has a few things going on. I think that something telling in a couple of his remarks may suggest that he is prejudiced against Asian girls marrying white guys. If that is the case, nothing is going to help him see the light. He also sounds like a bully. If he is and he scents blood in the water, he won''t let up.

This means that you cannot hint with him. I have a BIL that gets hints only if you use a sledge hammer to apply them!
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The next time he asks a question about your ring that is rude or demeaning, get tough with him. Repeat after me. "IT IS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!!! The specs are between me and my FI. I picked it. I LOVE it. Now, BACK OFF." You probably should speak very slowly as he sounds kind of thick. Repeat this as often as necessary until he shuts up.
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Shay
 
Date: 9/11/2005 2:03:38 PM
Author: allycat0303
Decodelighted: I constantly surprised by how perceptive everyone is. My sister just found out 2 weeks ago that he lied to her for 3 years about having a job! Since he''s graduated (5 years ago from Mcgill...arguably best univeristy in Canada) he''s only had a job for 9 months. She was traumatized... but is still intent on marrying him.


Oh no Allycat,

This is chilling. IMO: Pathalogical liar.

I probably watch too much Court TV but wasn''t there a case recently where some guy lied to his wife about finishing college & being accepted to Medical school and then when she found out their whole life was a lie there was a tragic ending. Less dramatically, a friend of mine had a girlfriend he lived with for years & years who claimed to be a Grad student at Columbia, but in actually went to Starbucks instead of "class" & had never finished undergrad even. Her lies came out when the people who employed her as a Nanny met a member of the faculty at the "department" where she said she was enrolled. He broke up with her immediately and kicked her out of their shared apartment. The student lie was, I''m sure, the tip of the iceburg.

It makes me want to stage an intervention or something ... call Dr. Phil ... yikes!
 
Oooh, that is maddening! What a jerk! Basically everything I''m thinking echos what everyone else has said. Its really too bad that your sister is putting up with him for fear of being alone, I know too many girls like that. Sounds like she''s on her way to being a successful young woman who should want more for herself. Don''t let him ruin your ring for you, his opinion doesnt really matter! Its going to be beautiful!! He''ll probably be blown away by its beauty and try to come up with some way to put it down to make himself feel better...he obviously has issues and can''t be happy for anyone else. You love the stone, right? You love the designs? So everything is going to be perfect...and your family is smart enough not to listen to his babble, and they''ll think its beautiful too. I know we all can''t wait to see it
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IN the mean time, good luck putting up with him!
 
LOL @ call Dr. Phil.. You probably should..

Isn''t this the same boyfriend that was so pissed off because he couldn''t marry your sister until you got married? In any case.. he''s a dumbass. Definitely don''t listen to his opinions on diamonds. clearly doesn''t know what he''s talking about.. We all know that you definitely don''t need a an D IF diamond for it to be gorgeous. I have a J, and can''t tell the difference!

And seriously.. you should try to get your sister to reconsider marrying him. Sounds like a total ass. Especially the lying to her part! Thats TERRIBLE. How could you marry someone who lied about something like that for 3 years? And also, how could he hide that from her for 3 years? Didn''t she notice he wasn''t making any money? What do your parents think of him?
 
Ally-

Yikes! I agree with everyone too! You have so much going for you (you and your boyfriend both) and shouldn't have to even listen to your FBIL (who hopefully never becomes your future anything.
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Let him spout off at anything he wants, just let him do it to your back. He sounds more ignorant every "line" of his I read.

Best of luck to your sister... and good luck to you in med school! Your Leon Mege will be devine, and like others mentioned- his comments seem to be defensive moves a little bit in advance.
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eta: The whole "not having a JOB" thing for 3 YEARS is really scarey!
 
I only skimmed this thread but what an obnoxious jerk you F-B-I-L sounds like. You don''t have to lie or tell him anything when he asks about your stone. All you and your FI have to say is "Our ring/stone is excellent color and clarity and that''s all you need to know. Back off. Go buy your D/IF, on your mother''s dime, and STFU already!".

Jerk.
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"No one in their right mind would buy anything below a E"
"No one in their right mind would go below VVS1"


Yeah, WHATEVER!! What a windbag.
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Lucky you for getting him as a brother-in-law.
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Tell him it''s an E, IF and be done with it. And then when he asks you how much you paid, ask him why no one ever taught him that it''s extremely rude to ask someone that, and it''s none of his business. For someone so concerned with appearances, he surely isn''t very concerned with his.

If you tell him anything near the truth, he''s just going to be an @ss about it for the rest of your life, and he sounds like enough of a jack@ss in so many other ways it''s not worth giving him any more "ammo" regardless of the fact that he''s an imbecile who has no concept of quality and value in diamond jewelry. I guarantee you that armed with a loupe, even if your stone had inclusions visible at 10X, he wouldn''t be able to find them. So tell him what he wants to hear and be done with him. I''m sure even if you told him it''s an E, he''ll hold the fact that he bought a D over your head for all perpetuity. But then at least you can hold your 1.27 ct over HIS head for all perpetuity. People like that are so taxing...I avoid them at all costs. Since you can''t, why don''t you just beat him at his own game? He doesn''t appear the type to actually LEARN something from what you say if you even TRIED to educate him about diamonds. So let him be an @ss and throw it right back at him. It''s not worth your time or effort.
 
Hey everyone,

Some pretty terrific advice. FBIL is an ass. Actually I got engaged yesturday. Yea! I''ll tell ya all about what he said on the SMTR thread I''m about to start now. It''s kind of funny. Thanks for being so supportive!
 
Date: 9/12/2005 5:32:12 PM
Author: allycat0303

.....Actually I got engaged yesturday
. Yea! I''ll tell ya all about what he said on the SMTR thread I''m about to start now. It''s kind of funny. Thanks for being so supportive!

WHAT WHAT WHAT?????????!!!!!!!!!!! Get thee to the LIW thread (and the SMTR thread!!!!) and spill the details, young lady!!!! I''m dying to hear (and see!!) AAAHHHH
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WHOA!!!!!!!!!

Congrats, Ally!!!!!!! I''m about to speed over to SMTR and find your story!!! EEEE, so exciting!!!!!!!!!!!
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Oh, and also...what a freakin'' jerkoff. Ally, don''t pay him any mind. Getting other people down is obviously what he thrives on...don''t give him the satisfaction of getting you down too!!!!!!!!!
 
WHAT!!!!! I am hightailing it over to SMTR RIGHT NOW!!!!!
 
SMTR thread - however I just had to comment, tell FBIL that it is a .53 K SI2 and have him blah blah blah all over the place

That way, when everyone sees your ring in person, they''ll see him for the true assclown he is
 
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