Romance and your SO

[star sparkle]

Another thing I've realized is that when I'm feeling neglected "couple wise", chances are *I* have been neglecting my DH too, but he complains less than I do about it. It's so easy to get caught up in taking care of responsibilities, it's up to us ladies to be romantic and lead by example sometimes!

Great point, tammy! I don't think I've ever thought of that before, but now that you mention it I'm realizing that you're onto something here.

 

[audball]

Another thing I've realized is that when I'm feeling neglected "couple wise", chances are *I* have been neglecting my DH too, but he complains less than I do about it. It's so easy to get caught up in taking care of responsibilities, it's up to us ladies to be romantic and lead by example sometimes!

Great point, tammy! I don't think I've ever thought of that before, but now that you mention it I'm realizing that you're onto something here.

Great reminder, tammy!

 

[pandabee]

Hang in there! Progress...

Baby steps, you're getting there! I remember before I first broached any sort of future/marriage talk, I was afraid that BF would interpret it as me being pushy or rushing into something and the convo would take a turn for the worse. I made it explicit right at the outset that those things WEREN'T my intention and, like you, I just wanted to know that he saw me in his future. He was able to understand that much better than I expected he would, so that was nice.

I'm glad your BF realized that you were upset and made a gesture that acknowledged how the conversation made you feel. He IS paying attention! Sometimes they just need more time to prepare or gather their thoughts before expressing them in a way that is satisfactory for us.

thanks ladies...does help to remind myself that not all guys process information as far in advance and as thorough as we ladies do sometimes! it's difficult sometimes to keep faith but I know it's worth it. just frustrating sometimes, so I'm glad we have each other here as well to lend an ear! <3

Delurking to say that this is such a great thread. I can definitely identify with a lot of posts and it's a nice reminder to focus on the little things that our SO/DH's do for us, even if (especially if?) they're not the typical romantic gestures like flowers and fancy dinners. Flowers are fantastic, but when work, kids and life in general gets crazy, I want (and luckily, have) a DH that will roll up his sleeves and help out.

Another thing I've realized is that when I'm feeling neglected "couple wise", chances are *I* have been neglecting my DH too, but he complains less than I do about it. It's so easy to get caught up in taking care of responsibilities, it's up to us ladies to be romantic and lead by example sometimes!

great post!! I am definitely guilty of this sometimes, even though I find that I complain more about it hahah. actions do speak louder than words so leading by example is probably the way to go

 

[Sun-Shine]

We're a lucky group here on PS! My bf does do all those little things which this thread so sweetly reminded me are so important like post-its, dog-crap, kitty-litter, flowers.... He also still sweeps me off my feet with the big gestures, with subscriptions to the ballet, opera and symphony which I adore. I think the best part about our relationship is that HE also likes those things. My friends will sometimes say "isn't it boring being with someone EXACTLY like you?" I always say no, why would I want to spend half my time doing things I despise (read: any sporting event) just to make someone else happy? We love the arts, yoga, hiking, travel... I love spending my life with someone who is the male mirror image of myself, its always fun, he's my best friend and we get to do all the things we enjoy!

That's great!! I'm glad you found someone who complements you so well! BF and I are vastly different, but we do share a whole slew of interests. It's funny because you would never expect someone like him (manly macho-type) to enjoy musical theater (which we just got a subscription to for next season) or baking (he took a cake baking/decorating class last spring and most recently made and decorated a cake for my bday last week), but he does. It's so sweet and funny.

I think its great to have a healthy mix up as well its so sweet when the men in our lives show their less-than-macho sides and whip up a cake or take in a play! It's double-sweet when they genuinely enjoy doing those things as well! I should take a cake class like your BF I could use one!

 

[audball]

We're a lucky group here on PS! My bf does do all those little things which this thread so sweetly reminded me are so important like post-its, dog-crap, kitty-litter, flowers.... He also still sweeps me off my feet with the big gestures, with subscriptions to the ballet, opera and symphony which I adore. I think the best part about our relationship is that HE also likes those things. My friends will sometimes say "isn't it boring being with someone EXACTLY like you?" I always say no, why would I want to spend half my time doing things I despise (read: any sporting event) just to make someone else happy? We love the arts, yoga, hiking, travel... I love spending my life with someone who is the male mirror image of myself, its always fun, he's my best friend and we get to do all the things we enjoy!

That's great!! I'm glad you found someone who complements you so well! BF and I are vastly different, but we do share a whole slew of interests. It's funny because you would never expect someone like him (manly macho-type) to enjoy musical theater (which we just got a subscription to for next season) or baking (he took a cake baking/decorating class last spring and most recently made and decorated a cake for my bday last week), but he does. It's so sweet and funny.

I think its great to have a healthy mix up as well its so sweet when the men in our lives show their less-than-macho sides and whip up a cake or take in a play! It's double-sweet when they genuinely enjoy doing those things as well! I should take a cake class like your BF I could use one!

Andrew and I LOVE LOVE LOVE cooking/baking together. We should look into a cooking class! We also love musicals...ahhh, bliss

 

[star sparkle]

Andrew and I LOVE LOVE LOVE cooking/baking together. We should look into a cooking class! We also love musicals...ahhh, bliss

I'm glad you're so happy, aud! When you mentioned a few posts up about having to pretend to like things you hate, your tales of your ex and flying came to mind. So glad you don't have to put up with that crap anymore!


So this morning, BF left much earlier than I did so I didn't get up to have breakfast with him. But I woke up to find all my stuff for breakfast put together and pretty much completely ready for me, right down to a glass of milk that he poured and left in the fridge. Geez, just how lazy does he think I am?! Hahaha

 

[audball]

Andrew and I LOVE LOVE LOVE cooking/baking together. We should look into a cooking class! We also love musicals...ahhh, bliss

I'm glad you're so happy, aud! When you mentioned a few posts up about having to pretend to like things you hate, your tales of your ex and flying came to mind. So glad you don't have to put up with that crap anymore!


So this morning, BF left much earlier than I did so I didn't get up to have breakfast with him. But I woke up to find all my stuff for breakfast put together and pretty much completely ready for me, right down to a glass of milk that he poured and left in the fridge. Geez, just how lazy does he think I am?! Hahaha

Thanks star sparkle! Flying definitely comes to mind when I think about opposites! Ugh! I hated it. It made me feel ill in that tiny plane and in Florida it is HOT...little planes, lots of movement, no air conditioning, made for a very icky feeling audball!

So cute about breakfast! You've got a keeper in T!

 

[Ravenne]

This was honestly one of the first things that came to mind when I read the first post:

SO and I like to get the icees from the local gas stations. He likes a certain kind of straw and I always get this other kind. I never really thought about it until he went in to get the icees while I filled up my car. He came back out with my straw in my icee. That was when I knew he was the One. LOL

But no really. He did something this morning that melted my heart. We were able to sleep in this morning, and he woke up, turned towards me and curled up next to me so that I was holding him. And I love it when he does that. He's a very large guy. 6'4" and not exactly thin. Whereas I am.... considerably smaller. He dwarfs me. Lol.

He does that when he wakes up from nightmares in the middle of the night too (and that's frequent). It's nice to know that holding onto me like that is a comfort to him. Honestly, opening up to me like that is one of the most romantic things he could've ever done for me.

 

[audball]

This was honestly one of the first things that came to mind when I read the first post:

SO and I like to get the icees from the local gas stations. He likes a certain kind of straw and I always get this other kind. I never really thought about it until he went in to get the icees while I filled up my car. He came back out with my straw in my icee. That was when I knew he was the One. LOL

But no really. He did something this morning that melted my heart. We were able to sleep in this morning, and he woke up, turned towards me and curled up next to me so that I was holding him. And I love it when he does that. He's a very large guy. 6'4" and not exactly thin. Whereas I am.... considerably smaller. He dwarfs me. Lol.

He does that when he wakes up from nightmares in the middle of the night too (and that's frequent). It's nice to know that holding onto me like that is a comfort to him. Honestly, opening up to me like that is one of the most romantic things he could've ever done for me.

Awww! That's so sweet. Andrew is 6'3" and far from a skinny minnie himself and I also L VE when he curls into me like that (I'm only 5'2"). Just a little reminder that they feel as safe with us as we do with them.

 

[Phdecorate]

Sorry I haven't been back to reply since starting this thread, things have been hectic here the last week! But I LOVE reading all of your experiences - it's amazing how much love is expressed in the little gestures, isn't it?

I think this is some strong advice. Romance changes the longer you're together. I remember reading in the 5 Languages of Love that people tend to have unrealistic expectations of the romance/lust stage of their early relationship to continue and end up feeling unloved when it fades. But it will fade, and it's supposed to. The key is whether or not it's turned/turning into something more/deeper that you will laern to love and cherish even more.

This is so important and hits the nail right on the head, and that was the idea behind starting this thread! To help us all realize that even though the sweep-you-off-your-feet may not happen nearly as often, or even at all, as our relationships go on, it doesn't mean our SO loves us any less; in fact, it means the opposite! Our relationships are growing, evolving, and deepening.

This is true...and I think also true as you get older. Taking time for the little things is just as important as big gestures. I love it when SO gets down on the floor to play with my (well should be now our) dog or when he brings him in the car to pick me up from somewhere. He'll be driving with my little white fluff sitting on his lap and it is so cute!

I, on the other hand, make his coffee every morning and I don't even drink it myself. For three years, I came down stairs every morning, turned on the machine, then came back up and got back into bed for 10 more mins. That way, he would get up and it would be ready. Finally I got smart and got a new machine with a timer, ha ha! I still get it ready though

 

[audball]

So cute phd! I don't drink coffee either but I would do that for A too! (he's not a regular coffee drinker though!)