Should I be alarmed that a simple project is taking 3 months?

[ItsMainelyYou]

I'm having some big time anxiety.
This is my very first commissioned piece.
I sent a spinel to the vendor I bought said stone from initially, to have set in one of their stock designs with small moissanite sides in the beginning of December. No engraving or anything like that.
The only communication has been initiated by me. I asked for a picture request along some colored stones for reference sometime in January when the project was complete before shipping. I was gently dissuaded from this direction. I still hope these pictures are taken.
The second contact I made was the middle of February a week or so after the two month mark, I was told backlog and illness and 'they were working on it now' but didn't know when it would be done.. We are now at the three month mark. The only issue is that I have seen *other customs*- bought after mine- be finished and sent to their happy homes- along with what I assume are ready to ship pieces and new designs.
Thinks happen, I get that.
I just wish there had been some kind of communication on the vendor end to let me know that there would be a delay.

 

[marymm]

Yes, you should be concerned.

From your post, it seems you already purchased the stone.

You don't mention whether you made any payments/deposits on the setting (hopefully not), but if it were me, I'd ask for my stone to be immediately shipped back to me at their expense, insure plus tracking, and if you did make any payments on the setting request a full refund.

Who is the vendor?

 

[ItsMainelyYou]

I bought said stone six years ago from the same vendor, JuliaB on Etsy. That went fine. She had a good reputation on here and I thought it would be nice to giver her the business.
I was told the moissanites would take a month to come from China. I paid for the setting in full in December.
The whole experience was just kind of weird.
It's the little things in the scant communication I initiated.
I will have to initiate contact and start refunds. I will give her until the end of this week and then I'll also leave negative reviews. It's not something I want to do, but what else should I do?

 

[marymm]

Did you pay by credit card or PayPal? Most credit cards have a 90-day refund period and I think PayPal is 180 days ... is your purchase still covered or did the refund period expire?

To my way of thinking, you have been more than patient - you have already allowed the vendor significant extra time to receive the ordered material and to build the setting - you have also initiated all contact. At this point, you're in the 3rd month of waiting, and you still have no idea what the hold-up is or when to expect the finished product. Clearly the vendor has no interest in updating you let alone actually completing your setting. Get your money back, get your stone back, and then leave truthful reviews on etsy and the Better Business Bureau.

 

[ItsMainelyYou]

Thank you for responding to me, marymm.
My anxiety about this is through the roof.
I paid with Paypal- through Etsy.
My other mistake was maybe being too accommodating/easygoing in my emails, I think.
But, I kept low key thinking, she has my stone(baby).
I'm so heartbroken over this, I was so excited to finally have a ring made with that stone.
Any ring at all made, really.
I'm now scared to ever do another commission, and I have at least 20 good quality spinels lying around!

 

[Bron357]

In life the squeaky wheel gets more oil.
You have probably inadvertently come across as “any time will be fine” while others are saying “I’m planning an engagement on x”, it’s for my wedding anniversary on x, it’s for my aged mother and she’s not well so I need it ASAP”.
Now is the time for the email.
Hi, just enquiring about my spinel ring project which I started with you in December 2019. It’s been a few months now without any update from you. I appreciate that you have been busy (your work is very beautiful) but I’m now really needing a firm timeline as to when it is expected to be completed. Looking forward to your reply and receipt my stunning Spinel ring. Many thanks.

 

[ItsMainelyYou]

Thank you for answering, Bron.
I believe you're correct. I will do this immediately.
The funny thing is in real life I come across much more direct and brook no BS. Ever.
I've been told I can come across intimidating/formal in email and so was trying to be *nicer* and more, I don't know, colloquial.
I'm-a goin' back to the old way.

 

[ItsMainelyYou]

By the by...
Am I alone in my experience with her?
Is it that I, somehow, am just unlucky?

 

[arkieb1]

She has moissanites custom cut from China they are in the middle of the Corona epidemic over the dates you give so I'd guess that an order that normally takes a month to get ie custom cut stones is probably taking twice as long. Add to that she also then sends the stones to a bench person who could be anywhere in the world to complete the task.

I agree with Bron, email her and be more straight forward in asking how much longer it will take, tell her you feel that three months is an "unreasonable amount of time."

 

[qubitasaurus]

You know my jeweler takes 3+ months for everything. I asked him to simply drill a hole in something in late Novermber, and I think he finished it arround 2 weeks ago. I love his work, and think he is 100% worth the wait. He is just busy (generally always with a long backlog, I guess everyone else also thinks he is worth the wait).

So I dont think you should be anxious. But you should reach out to the jeweler and establish a timeframe on which the project will complete.

If you're seeing other people's projects finish first then I understand why that is upsetting (I saw this with my wedding photographer, he ended up taking a year to finish our album. And posted blogs on many other people's weddings in the mean time. So I do understand how this feels). But it could be that she deals with multiple benches, and yours went to a different bench. Alternatively it could be because nothing is shipping out of china now for some number of weeks/months. I am not sure if you're aware but chinese new year is a big 2 week holiday that began arround the middle of january 2020. And 3 days in it was announced that then coronavirus was serious and about 5 days in everyone was basically put under quarentine orders. These quarentine orders are gradually lifting now, but as I understand it the progress is gradual. No one went to work for the majority of January or February and any packages delivered from china have more or less stalled. Indeed I tried to get a package into China 2 weeks ago and ended up paying a small fortune to fedex to deliver it -- I was told the post was still disrupted and for the area I wanted to reach the parcel would not arrive unless I paid fedex. So I dont think you have a problem really. But if your worried about it, then you need to get in contact and ask her what the hold up is about, and when itll finish.

 

[ItsMainelyYou]

Thank you for the reply, arkieb.
I think you may be on to something. This seems to be a confluence of unfortunate events.
The thought had occurred to me as a possibility; which is understandable and entirely out of her control. But I keep coming back to- why not contact clients in this situation?
I would have felt much more at ease if she could've just dropped a quick line and relayed this information to me if that is/was the case.
I wouldn't know anything at all about the entire project if I hadn't reached out every month or so.
I would have no issues if I just knew what was happening.
I'm going to email her and just ask for an ETA and go from there.

 

[ItsMainelyYou]

Thanks, and you're probably right, qubitasaurus.
It's reassuring to know I'm not alone. I just don't know what to expect.
Bad timing for my first commission- and I am weirdly attached to my rocks- they are my precioussses.
So, there's that.

 

[marymm]

It sounds like others have assuaged your anxiety and that you prefer to pursue the project with her - I hope things turn out well for you.

 

[ItsMainelyYou]

Thank you for being the first, and they have. It means a lot. Nobody cares about gems and the like in my life.
I'm a magpie, alone
The information you gave me about what to do next is very helpful.
I hope they turn out well too. We'll see...

 

[Daisys and Diamonds]

My first, one and only commision is a pearl and turquoise ring i had made by the jewler whome i had value mum's rings
It did take ages but he is an artist
But i never had any trust issues and it all worked out beautifully
I paid on pick up

 

[ItsMainelyYou]

I just want it to be on my fat little finger.
I know the ring will be lovely- I just wish I knew when it'd get here.

 

[T L]

Can you substitute the moissanite for white zircon or cz if she has them in stock? I’m thinking the delay is due to the moissanite coming from China, but she should be more communicative with you.

 

[ItsMainelyYou]

Can you substitute the moissanite for white zircon or cz if she has them in stock? I’m thinking the delay is due to the moissanite coming from China, but she should be more communicative with you.

She did say that she had them- and that work had begun on designing around the two month mark...also that she didn't know when they'd be done, after I reached out to her for the second time. She did apologize about it, which was nice- but I wouldn't have known otherwise.
That was about three weeks ago.
She hadn't started on the project before then, apparently.

 

[Daisys and Diamonds]

I just want it to be on my fat little finger.
I know the ring will be lovely- I just wish I knew when it'd get here.

It will more than likely be just fine
one time i had to have a necklase go back for repair (not the same jewler) it was a mall purchase but was made to order in NZ (it was a silver name necklase on a very fine chain)
turns out the poor chap's workroom was in the no go zome after an earthquake - he didn't make contact with the store because all his files and records were also in his premises and he couldn't get past the police corden due to security issues and health and safety
For all i knew he may also have had a broken house / injured family members to deal with at home also ??
but all was ok in the end there too

Just imangine your lovelly commission on your finger and how much joy and relief you will feel looking at it on you for the first time

 

[ItsMainelyYou]

I hope so.
This has been stressful enough that I don't know when I'll be repeating the process.
I now know that I do require at least minimal communication from the jeweler to feel comfortable with any future projects...so hey, self discovery!

 

[MarionC]

Thank you for being the first, and they have. It means a lot. Nobody cares about gems and the like in my life.
I'm a magpie, alone
The information you gave me about what to do next is very helpful.
I hope they turn out well too. We'll see...

A PSer is never a magpie alone!
Best luck with getting that ring on your finger!

 

[ItsMainelyYou]

A PSer is never a magpie alone!
Best luck with getting that ring on your finger!

Squeeee, and thank you.
This whole forum It gets me!

 

[ShinyPink]

I have a several rings from her. A couple were my stones, a couple were rings already made, and one required her to source the stones. I never had an issue with her, but we're both in So Cal, not even an hour away. I always found her to very reliable, and I don't recall any communication issues. I tell jewelers/cutters all the time that I'm in no hurry- and some take their sweet time, and others whip stuff out. Just message her and tell her you're anxious to see your beautiful ring - even ask her if COVID-19 is delaying things. She never seemed like the type to get ruffled, either. I trust her and just think that to her, things are fine. You need to hear that, though.

Hang in there!

 

[ItsMainelyYou]

I have a several rings from her. A couple were my stones, a couple were rings already made, and one required her to source the stones. I never had an issue with her, but we're both in So Cal, not even an hour away. I always found her to very reliable, and I don't recall any communication issues. I tell jewelers/cutters all the time that I'm in no hurry- and some take their sweet time, and others whip stuff out. Just message her and tell her you're anxious to see your beautiful ring - even ask her if COVID-19 is delaying things. She never seemed like the type to get ruffled, either. I trust her and just think that to her, things are fine. You need to hear that, though.

Hang in there!

Thank you MrsKMB!
My overall impression of her was always of a positive bent.
My main issue was no communication at all, from her end, over the last three months.
I only found out about the delay because the ship by/finish date passed and I then asked her for an update. Any update.
I would have appreciated some contact on her end of a heads-up to whatever the situation was.
I was inclined for a while to think that maybe she forgot about my commission altogether as I watched projects finish or happy reviews left by others.
I'm hopeful that wasn't the case- but you know anxiety compounds on 'radio silence' and, well, there you go.
This is all new to me.
I was hoping to establish a long term relationship with a jeweler I can trust.
The experience of my first commission sadly hasn't been a very good one for me overall.

 

[Anne111]

Timing is not soooo worriesome but the communication is. .
With the last weeks everybody going guggugagga and staying home, stuff slows, but she should keep in touch.

 

[yssie]

I'm like @Anne111 - I don't mind a long timeline, but I do expect regular communication once the initial estimate/deadline passes.

Perhaps in your email you can also state that you would like her to send you a status update by email/phone/text weekly (or whatever interval) to establish what sort of communication you're expecting to move forward with?

 

[ItsMainelyYou]

So, UPDATE!
Julia did reach out because she saw this post and explained everything and I feel like a heel now that I know why the delays are happening. It's as she says- a unfortunate perfect storm. I'm glad that I know now and it assuaged my anxiety.
I can't wait to show you what she has made for me.

 

[Daisys and Diamonds]

So, UPDATE!
Julia did reach out because she saw this post and explained everything and I feel like a heel now that I know why the delays are happening. It's as she says- a unfortunate perfect storm. I'm glad that I know now and it assuaged my anxiety.
I can't wait to show you what she has made for me.

This is great news on all fronts
looking forward to seeing your new bling ...dont forget to post hand shots

 

[ItsMainelyYou]

This is great news on all fronts
looking forward to seeing your new bling ...dont forget to post hand shots

OoOoh, I will. Yessir!

 

[lovedogs]

So, UPDATE!
Julia did reach out because she saw this post and explained everything and I feel like a heel now that I know why the delays are happening. It's as she says- a unfortunate perfect storm. I'm glad that I know now and it assuaged my anxiety.
I can't wait to show you what she has made for me.

Yay, that's great news! I think communication is everything. But sometimes if there's a sh*t storm of unfortunate events, we all struggle to communicate sufficiently. I am really happy that you guys spoke, and happy to hear that she clarified things. She has always seemed very nice, so I was sad to hear about this. Now feel much better!